A/N: Heyya guys! Sorry I haven't been updating iWill Love You Forever, I still get this huge writer's block for that story and I kinda don't know what to do with the story... well, I'll try to continue that story as soon as I get my inspirations back! :P

Anyways, who saw iLost My Mind? I DID! I got a live stream link that actually worked and I watched it until my eyes began tearing... Oh well, the Seddie-ness is just too much that I couldn't take it anymore... Hahaha! I loved the episode SO MUCH, I still can't believe that Seddie actually HAPPENED! It all felt like a dream, ya know, like reading one of the iLMM speculation one-shots but then I realized that it wasn't just a fanfiction, but it actually happened... I love Dan Schneider so much. I literally screamed on the top of my lungs when they kissed. Oh, Freddie. That was the BEST way to shut a girl up!

And to the story! I actually got the inspiration from my own relationship with my ex-boyfriend. So, if it sounds cliche or something, you have the right to blame my ex boyfriend for making me such a sappy girl. Hahaha.

Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I was a girl and I was 14 years old. So, I'm no Dan Schneider and of course, I don't own iCarly. If I did own iCarly, Seddie would happen since God knows when and Gibby would be a real mermaid... oh well.


It's been 5 years since the nub and I broke up on a rainy day in March. And after 5 years, 5 months and 4 days, the only thing I feel when I see his face is just pain.

That day was the worst day of my life. I, Samantha Puckett (no, don't ever dare call me Samantha.), have never felt anything more painful than that. That hurt even more than losing your special sandwich with extra ham and double cheese. That was the day I lost the love of my life. And it all started with a stupid little thing called pride.

If only I hadn't thought about "what's best for me" and all the selfishness that ran through my blood, today I would've still had him in my arms.

He just left, without ever looking back. It pains me to realize that he really seems better without me, when I was left here as a mess. It's all my fault, though, it still hurts until this moment.


"This isn't worth it, Freddie." I took a deep breath and wiped a small drop of tear on my cheek.

"But you promised me that we'll get through this, together."

"Yeah, and you never seemed to care!"

He shook his head, "How can you say that I never seemed to care? I care about you, Sam. I love you. I will always be there for you, no matter what happens. I will never, ever, ever leave you."

"Funny, my dad also said the same thing to my mom, years ago. And did he stay? No. Did he leave? Yes. Did he abandon the rest of my family? Yes."

"I'm not your dad, Sam. I will never hurt you."

I scoffed, sarcastically. "Really? Can I believe you?"

"Yes!"

"Well, too bad! It's not enough to make me believe you." I stood up, ready to leave, but then he grab my wrist and forced me to stay.

"Then what can I do to make you believe?" I turned around studied the look on his face. Pure hurt and dissapointment. His eyebrows narrowed, showing that he couldn't understand everything i had said. And his eyes, those beautiful chocolate eyes were covered in tears. I had never seen him in tears before. A part of me wanted to scream and run to his arms, bury my face on his face and tell him I love him until my last breath. A part of me wanted to make everything better...

But my pride took over my body. I pulled my wrist away and shook my head.

"Why, Sam? What did I do wrong?" he whispered.

I gulped. My voice cracked when I spoke, "Everything. You did everything wrong."

"We've been together for 6 months, Sam," he smiled sadly, "you said you wanted to be with me forever. You said you never wanted to lose me. But now, why are you breaking up with me? I've done my best for you. Everything for you, Sam... Why? I thought you said—"

"Things change, Freddie," I said weakly. "And maybe, your best wasn't enough for me. Maybe this is what's best for me, for us. Maybe we weren't meant to be. Maybe I was wrong when we said we could make it through. Maybe we can't be together. Maybe we'll find who's best for us, eventually."

He just stood there. His eyes looked straight into mine.

"And maybe, just maybe," I swallowed, "I don't need you anymore."

And with that, I turned my back and ran away, tears raining on my cheek.

What I never knew was that as soon as I left, Freddie fell down on his knees and cried, asking himself why things changed between us.


I lied when I said I didn't need him anymore. That was the stupidest lie I've ever told, if "stupidest" was an actual word. Well... is it an actual word?

I always need him. I can never hate him for things he's never done, even though I want to. I always love him, and I hate the fact that I can never get over him.

We've never really spoken since. We talked once or twice, only on his birthday. I was at Carly's, watching Girly Cow while waiting for Carly who was taking a looooooooong shower. And then someone knocked the door, and being the lazy Sam I always was, I just sat there and yelled, "Come in!"


He opened the door with scissors in his hand, "Carly, thanks for the scissors. I—"

His voice trailed off as soon as he saw me. I realized his voice and looked up to see the last people I wanted to see on earth at the moment and froze. My mouth hung open and I could only say, "Uh, Carly's in the bathroom."

His face hardened, he nodded and just put the scissors on a small table really near the door. "Just tell her I said thanks for lending me the scissors." His voice was in a monotonous tone.

"'Kay." I tried to breathe in and out.

He turned around and just before he closed the door, I called his name.

"Freddie!" even saying his name brought a sharp pain in my chest.

He turned his head to see me.

"Happy birthday. Uh... wish you a better life, I guess."

He just nodded and walked away.

"I'm sorry, for everything!" I shouted to the empty room.


"Sam. Sam. Sam! SAM!" Carly's voice got me out of the flashback.

"Uh, what?"

"I said, are you ready?"

I sigh, "Yeah, I guess."

"Sure you wanna do this?"

"Uh-uh, why not?"

She smiles, "If you don't wanna, we can just cancel this—"

"No, no. I want to do this. I wanna show him that my life is also better... without him." But it's not. And everyone knows that.

"Okay, then," she nods, "let's get going!"

Am I ready for this?

Pffh, 'f course I am! Pucketts are never scared of anything!