BECAUSE REALLY…I'D DIE FOR YOU

I was in a bar. I don't know how because the last thing I remember was that long piercing beep signaling death.

Naomi…the only person I can ever fall in love with. The only person that has ever made my heart beat 100 times faster than normal. The only person that I wanted to live the rest of my life with…and she's dead.

"morning! What'll ya have little missy?" asked the bartender.

I somehow manage to croak out a single word "Anything," before I burst into tears. The bartender climbs over the counter and begins to stroke my hand soothingly.

"Oh dear…what's got you down? Was it school?...Friends?...A bad breakup?"

At that my sobbing became more like choking. I wanted to scream. A bad breakup?! The worst!

I suddenly felt self conscious. I was I a bar at 3 am and I was crying my eyes out. I glanced around and noticed everyone was sneaking glances at me as if I was the most interesting thing I their lonely lives. It had been years since I felt self conscious and I knew exactly why. Naomi never cared about how I looked. I could look like shit and she still loved me. She wasn't shallow, she was caring and lovely, and the best thing that has ever happened to me and she's gone. After all we've been through, this is what we get.

I remembered the time at the lake and how wonderful it was to feel her bare skin on mine for the first time. I remember when she left me in the morning and how I felt that she would never love me as much as I loved her. I remember how happy I was when she held her hand out at the loved ball. And I remember the pain I felt when she cheated on me and I remember the love and fear that flowed through me when she barged into Freddie's shed and gave her whole speech about how she loved me and that she would die for me and I finally realized that she did love me as much as I loved her. And the anger just two days ago when I found out that she had cancer an was nearly dead. And I can still feel the numbness that crept into me when her hand stopped playing with my hair and the beep began to sound.

All these thoughts ran through my head and at once I knew. I tore my hand away from the sweet bartender and ran out of the bar and onto the sidewalk.

'I'd die for you too' was my last thought before I flung myself into the busy street.