THE PARTY ACT ONE Scene One This happens after the wild imaginings, and in this story, the Sarah and Legolas thing did not happen.
(Scene opens to a large, spacious room, where some of the CAST is gathered. Adventure soundtracks are playing not to loudly in the background. SARAH enters)
SARAH: Hey,guys! Sweet party so far, right?
HANNAH: No kiddin.
RACHEL: Look at all of these famous people! Where did you track them all down?
KATIE: Oh,look!Our number one victims of the night!
(Everyone turns as RAOUL and ELIZABETH SWANN-ES-enter, arm in arm. A few people gasp in revulsion. HANNAH and KATIE rub their hands together grinning evilly, and KATIE paces maliciously)
SARAH:Also grins evillyYellow pages are always handy.
HANNAH: What made you want to have this party?
CJS: THIS PUNCH IS RUMLESS!
(INDIGO MONTOYA-IM-enters scene with three bottles of rum, planning to dump them in later)
CJS: Thanks-
SARAH: I'M WATCHING YOU!DON"T TRY ANYTHING!
WESELY:walks to food table and shoves in another brownie The perfect match, the both of them.
SARAH: Um,interesting you should ask...I wanted to make a bet with you. The winner will be thoroughly rewarded.
KATIE: What kind of bet?
SARAH: The kind that wins you Disney cruise tickets for two. Listen, here is paper and pen. Notice all the hot and famous males here?
RACHEL: Who wouldn't?
SARAH: Well, I am having a contest to see who can flirt with the most guys, get their autographs when you're done, and get a willing kiss from your favorite guy. Are you in?
HANNAH: NO DUH!
SARAH:hands the group the papers and pensAuklets get started. I have given a few anonymous people the stuff also, so be very good. And-
(Suddenly, a shot of silly string comes from no where and heads directly for ES and RAOUL.RAOUL knocks over ES,and ducks. The silly string misses them)
HANNAH:whispersStink!Ok,Katie,plan B.
ES: I think we are going to be assassinated!
RAOUL:Come on, who would want to assassinate us?
KATIE:snickersYou won't believe how many.
(ZORRO enters. SARAH makes a beeline toward him)
RACHEL: Let the games begin!
(The rest of the CAST enters one by one, or two by two, whichever you prefer. The girls do their best, and PHANTOM,HORATIO, and ERAGON enter)
THE GIRLS: OH MY WORD!
(Suddenly, a large organ appears in the corner of the room, and a fight between DAVY JONES-DJ- and PHANTOM begins)
PHANTOM: MINE!
DJ: Out of the way, scum!
PHANTOM: Look who's talking, fish face.Wheres my Punjab?
SARAH: You guys...?sees Eragon,and slips on mask, walking slowly toward him with a cameraHello!
ERAGON: Uh,hello. Who are you?
SARAH: My name is of no consequence. It wouldn't mean a thing to you anyway.
ERAGON: I am experiencing Deja Vu...wait.
SARAH: You may call me Sarah. How is Saphira?Last time I saw her, she was on the burning plains with you.
ERAGON: Wait...YOU'RE Sarah? She mentioned you a few times, but only vague comments. How is the magic training going?
(ERAGON and SARAH flirt and talk, while HANNAH remains standing agape at the PHANTOM)
HANNAH: Is he really here?
KATIE: Should we do more, or continue to booby trap our victims?
HANNAH: I don't think I can face him while acting normal now...later. Lets go plot...hee-hee-hee.
(camera moves to the place where ZORRO,ROBIN HOOD,and THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL-TSP-talk in low voices)
ROBIN: What do you think we should do to the people we've been hired to torture?
ZORRO: I claim the fop.
TSP: I think we should lock them in a dungeon with no clean linens.
ZORRO:looks askance Bad idea. Lets do.
(camera turns to the food table, where WESELY,and other swashbucklers shove in as many brownies as they can while talking loudly. Camera then turns to they drink table, where CJS and IM drink rum.Then,to Sarah, as she walks on to the large stage)
SARAH: Ok everybody, its time for KEREOKE!!!cheers LETS GET READY TO RUUUMMMBBBLLLEEE!
RAOUL: I don't like this.
(BARBOSSA,GALBATORIX,PRINCE HUMPERDINK-PH,and CAPTAIN RAMON-CR-enter)
BARBOSSA: BRING ME THE MEDALLIONNNN!
GALBATORIX:laughs evillyBRING ME THE EGGGGG!
PH: WHERE IS BUTTERCUP!
CR: BRING ME-
SARAH: HEY! GET YOU "BRING ME"S" OUT OF MY PARTY!! OR ELSE I WILL GATHER THIS ASSEMBLY AND ATTACK YOU!
CJS:mistakes himself for Will TurnerAYE,AVAST!
(CAST laughs)
RACHEL: Lets start like this; Why are you here?
GALBATORIX: We want to-
BARBOSSA: I"M TELLIN' THE STORY!
PH: I think we should all find Buttercup.
BARBOSSA: SHADAP!
CJS: Must you always yell?
CR: I have a bone to pick with Senor Zorro!
(ZORRO walks up and promptly runs CR through in the shoulder, so he runs away howling)
ZORRO: Who's next?
TSP: Jolly good show!
KATIE: Why don't you people ever answer questions?
GALBATORIX: Well, I was going to tell you, but Barbossa here.
BARBOSSA: I"M TELLIN THE STORY!!!WE HAVE COME TO KILL YOU ALL AND HAVE A VILLAN"S PARTY!
DU DU DU,DUUUUUUU!!!

Scene two (Scene remains where it left off)
SARAH: Nonsense. This is MY home and I have no great love for villans,so give us a moment to decide our strategy, and we will attack you.
PH: HA HA HA,We have reinforcements, and we will beat you! NA NA NA NA NA NA NAAA!
BARBOSSA:embarrassed look at PH You shadap,or else.We fight in ten minutes.
(SARAH,HANNAH,RACHEL,KATIE,and all the good guys-including PHANTOM and DJ-move off to a little corner to plot.Suddenly,ATHOS, PORTHOS, ARAMIS,D'ARTANGAN,and an armed band of musketeers barge in and start battling the bad guys)
ATHOS: SAVE THE QUEEN AND PARTY!
PORTHOS and ARAMIS: YEAH!
SARAH: Ok,you guys, but hurry up, we still have to watch the movie,kereoke,and announce the winners of the contest.
D'ARTANGAN: Will do!
(The others sit back and watch the musketeers battle they bad guys and their reinforcements, and win without killing a single person)
HANNAH: If only Raoul was a member of the losers. Sarah has a great plan.
KATIE: He IS a member of the losers, and always will be, along with ES and Kermit the frog.giggle
SARAH: Well now. If you all would be so kind as to go into the hall closet and get some iron chains and other things, lock all of them up, and throw them in the garage for the man to pick up, I will let you sing your theme song for everyone.cheers
( The CAST cleans up, and then Sarah walks on to stage and starts to talk)
SARAH: Our first song will be...looks at list The Phantom of the opera theme sung by Rachel and Hannah. Organ played by the Phantom.
(RACHEL and HANNAH go on the stage, grab microphones, and start to sing.) RACHEL: In sleep he sang to me.
HANNAH: In dreams he came.
RACHEL: That voice which calls to me.
HANNAH: And speaks my name.
(HANNAH and Rachel continue to sing doing various funny things during their performance, until PHANTOM feels inclined to join the stage at his parts, and RACHEL leaves them to sing)
HANNAH: AHHHHHH!!!!! CAST claps
SARAH:strange look at HANNAH Ok,then,our next performance is the Musketeer theme song!
(MUSKEETERS enter stage and sing their song)
KATIE:says to HORATIO That was so beautiful!
HORATIO: What ever you say, my darling!Kisses Katie
SARAH: AND WE HAVE OUR FIRST PLACE WINNERS FOR TONIGHT'S CONTEST!
(SARAH hands HORATIO and KATIE a trophy and tickets to a Disney cruise)
SARAH: Now, our not so shy little Katie and horatio will go on stage and sing 'You're still you'But,remember everyone, there are still prizes for the second and third place winners.