Lord of the Rings & Star Wars:

The Easy-Bake Oven Choronicals

Book Two

Di$claimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. Don't sue me! I'm just a poor author with no talent!

A.N.(Author's Note)-Some...er, most things in here will NOT relate to the book. It'll be different. Oh, and I decided to post this for my friend... she thought I should... (Not that anyone really reviewed that first one...)

Our story begins in a restraunt. A chinese restraunt to be exact. I know what you're thinking, Middle-Earth doesn't have a chinese restraunt. Well, shows how much you know. It does! Ha ha! *cough cough* Anyway, Strider, Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon are sitting around, eating and thinking up a way to destroy their NEXT enemy, Saruman (AKA: The old guy with the beard.) Obi-Wan was having trouble using his chop sticks, as the other two seemed to be experts at it, which surprised him. His master had never even had chinese before! Every time Obi-Wan would pick up food, he dropped it. This really annoyed him. Noticing his Padawan's distress, Qui-Gon chose one of the Jedi's favourite advice sayings.

"Use the fork, Padawan, use the fork." Obi heard Strider stifle a laugh. Still annoyed, he flung a piece of Sushi at his master when Qui-Gon looked away. The Sushi landed on Qui's head and somehow got tangled in his hair. When Qui-Gon glared over at his Padawan, Obi looked as innocent as could be.

"Someday, I'll catch that little..." the rest of Qui-Gon's complaint consisted of very innapropriate things Jedi Masters shouldn't say about their innocent, little Padawans. I mean come on! That's Obi Abuse!

"Really? I'll remember that," Obi takes a notebook out of thin air, titled "Things to Hold Against Master" and scribbles something down. Strider, while all this happened, just sat there, quietly eating his food. Qui, noticing this unusual event, asked,

"Why are you so quiet? Usually your mouth is on. Just on. Sometimes you're worse than him. And that's hard to do." he gestures to Obi-Wan, who sticks his tongue out at Qui. Again.

"Well, I was just wondering about a few things," answered Strider, oblivious to the mouth comment.



"Such as?" Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow.

"Like, if there's an Obi-One, is there an Obi-Two, or an Obi-Three? Even an Obi-Sixty-eight? And if there's a Qui-Gone, is there a Qui-Here, or a Qui-Anywhere? What about a Qui-Everywhere? Whoa, would that be scary! Do wookies like chocolate chip cookies? How long did it take for Darth Maul's mom to let him get all those stupid tatoos? If elves are immortal, how come they can die? Why does Mrs. Dahl like me so much? I guess it's cause I'm such a good looking guy. Is Yoga relalated to Yoda? Is there such thing as a Mountain Soda? Hey, that rhymes!"

"THAT'S what you've been thinking of, this ENTIRE time!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!" Qui says as his eyes start to bulge.

"Yup!" Strider smiled happily. Qui-Gone-oops-Gon falls to the floor with a loud *thump.* It's Obi's turn to stifle a laugh.

"Qui-Everywhere would be scary!" he smirks as he high-fives Strider. "So, have you thought up a plan to kill Saruman yet?"

"Yep. I've got two plans: Just barge in and charge at him, like before, or make him listen to Barney songs and watch ETV until he begs for his mommy!"

"Plan two sounds good, but what's ETV?" Strider looked fearful for a moment.

"The most horrid thing in the universe...Educational Television." Obi-Wan's eyes widen as he shudders.

"Maybe we should save that for someone else." They both think for a moment.

"Nah!" the two say in unison.

"Okay, then! Let's go!" The two stand up to leave, but the waiter who served them blocks their way.

"Who pay?" he asks in his chinese accent. Obi and Strider look at each other. They point to Qui-Gon and walk off to find Saruman.

*********************************

Qui-Gon awakes and sits up. He looks in front of him only to see a really huge bill that reaches his lap.

"KENOBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

********************************

Later, Obi-Wan and Strider are walking through a forest to get to Creepy Castleville, where Saruman lives. A very faint sound of Qui-Gon yelling can be heard. Obi lifts his head up.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nope."

"Okay." The two trudge along, pretty much bored. A rustling in the trees gets their attention. All of a sudden, a figure falls down before them. It's Legolas, the elf that Mrs. Dahl also really likes.

"Stupid Fanghorn forest, always throwing me out of the stupid trees," the blonde elf grumbles as he rubs his head. Then, noticing Obi and Strider, he jumps back. "You didn't see that, okay? I've got a reputation to keep, alright?" The two nod.

"Never saw a thing." Then, as if realizing something else, he jumps back, this time fearfully.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!! What are YOU doing here!!!" Legolas shouts, pointing at Strider.

"Going to Creepy Castleville, of course. Someone tried to kill my Easy-Bake oven."

"Again?" Legolas raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. "You seem to be a magnet for weird things. Remember that toaster thing?"

"Don't remind me. Anyway, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi. He has an Easy-Bake oven, too."

"Hi!" Obi gives him a peace sign.

"So, want to come with us?"

"Gee, let me think a minute...NO! Do you know what happened LAST time I came with you? You almost tossed ME into the volcano, instead of the ring! I'm not going! I repeat, I AM NOT-"

"Great! Let's go!" Grabbing Legolas' arm, they started back on their trek through the forest.

Soon, they reached Creepy Castleville. The welcome sign was in the shape of a castle and had a picture of an Easy-Bake oven on it with a circle around it and a slash through the middle (imagine a no smoking sign.) The sign read "Welcome to Creepy Castleville: Home of the Easy-Bake oven Killers."

"This must be the place!" Strider stated as-a-matter-of-factly. Legolas rolled his eyes.

"As long as there's no volcanoes, I'll be fine." They proceeded on. After a while they saw a castle that had a small sign on it. It read: "Saruman's totally happy, fun, and not dangerous house. Enter at own risk."

"I think that's his house." Obi said, seemingly oblivious to the sign.

"Wow, genius boy! How long did it take for you to figure that out?"

"Well-" he was cut off by Strider.

"Come on! Let's get him!" He ran off and Obi followed. Lego walked slowly to the back of the castle/house thing, where the other two went. In back, it was WORSE than being thrown into a volcano. There was pink...EVERYWHERE!!! From the fence to...Saruman, there was hot pink. Strider and Obi-Wan winced.

"I knew this guy was evil, but not that evil!"

"We have to be strong, Obi! You tackle and I'll tie him up!"

"I'll just stand here," Lego said in a bored tone as he leaned against the pink fence. Then, noticing this, he jumps foreward and supresses a shudder.

"That's a good idea! It could be dangerous!" Strider shouted as he tied up Saruman. Soon, the freaky, pink man was tied up in front of the TV, watching ETV and listening to Barney over and over and over and over and over and over....Two hours later, he was crying for his mommy and giving up. Obi-Wan and Strider high-fived and did, not one, but two happy dances.

Later, Obi, Strider, and Legolas made their way back to Strider and Obi-Wan's apartment at "The Evil Guy's Inn."

"Hi, Master!" Obi greeted his master happily, forgetting about the chinese restraunt incident. Qui-Gon looked up from the TV, which his favorite show, "One Thousand Ways to Duck Tape Annoying People's Mouths Shut," was on. There was an evil glint in his eye. Obi and Strider shuddered.

"Hello, Padawan, Strider. How have you been?" He stood and began toward the two. They backed up as he neared.

"F-fine, Master. You?"

"Just great," Qui-Gon replied, the glint flashing. "I couldn't be better." He lunged at the two. Missing them, they ran out the door, Qui hot on their heels. Legolas sat down on the couch.

"Hey, my favorite show's on!"

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Okay, peeps, this is the end. But don't cry too much! There's more on the way! I think we should first see if Strider and Obi-Wan survive Qui's wrath...

"I'll show you PAY!!!"

The End