Disclaimers: We do not own these characters! They belong to the creator and publishing companies. We are simply borrowing them to have some fun!
Chapter 1: The Newbies
"Oy! Hisoka!" Tsuzuki waved his chopsticks at his partner.
Hisoka pulled out a chair and made a disgusted face as Tsuzuki slurped down udon noodles.
"Why are you eating now? We have to get going!"
Tsuzuki sucked in a noodle, and it hit him in the nose before disappearing completely into his mouth. "Aw, relax. They have an eternity. We're each picking one up anyway right? So just let me finish dessert!"
Hisoka made a disgusted sound and got ready to leave, but he took the time to remind Tsuzuki, "Tatsumi will be upset if you go over your allowance." With that he left.
Right then a waitress set Tsuzuki's dessert in front of him and the bill.
He took a bite as he picked up the check and almost swallowed his spoon.
"Tatsumi's gonna kill me..."Tatsumi looked up as a flash went off and the door opened. He glanced down at one of the files in front of him.
Name: Hikigane Miyu
Age at time of death: 25 years old.
Cause of death: Motor collision
Abilities: Private
Flash! Miyu had refocused her camera and taken another picture.
"Tsuzuki! My camera loves you! You were meant to be in pictures kid!"
Tsuzuki blushed and ran a hand through his hair.
A sly look passed over her face. She leaned across the Chief's desk. "Hey, how popular is Tsuzuki around here anyway?"
Konoe looked surprised, Tatsumi adjusted his glasses and reminded himself to add the cost of film to the accounts. The door swung open and Hisoka entered with another woman. Tatsumi looked down at her folder:
Name: Chishiki Yumi
Age at time of death: 25 years old.
Cause of death: Motor collision.
Abilities: Private
He looked up from his reading when he noticed that the flashes were moving more rapidly. He saw Miyu frozen, with a death grip on the camera button, setting off a constant stream of flashes. Tsuzuki and the Chief were shielding their eyes. He noted that Yumi wasn't paying any attention to the chaos, but ranting at Hisoka.
"Can't we put off this whole "death" thing a few years? I'll have you know this has come at a very inconvenient time! I was just elected one of the youngest female leaders of Japan's National Anthropology Society!" She flipped a stray piece of black hair over her shoulder and sighed at the injustice of it all she walked past Hisoka to take a seat. She finally noticed Miyu and her camera. She shot back up. "YOU?! What the hell are you doing here?"
Miyu finally released her death grip and lifted the camera from around her neck to slam it down on the table. "Well, well, well...if it isn't little-miss-history-nut!"
"Still as stupid as ever I see. That's anthropologist you lousy trigger-happy-tabloid-tramp!"
"Glad to see you're such good friends." Watari commented with a smile, entering a bit late, taking his seat.
"Me! Friends with that...that thing?" Yumi looked disgusted.
Miyu, who had already sat back down, scoffed. "Yeah? Well same here. Besides! Everyone knows the only friends who don't run screaming from her have all been dead for thousands of years!"
"Ahem!" The chief interjected. Addressing Miyu he said, "Then it's a good thing you're dead, it may not have been thousands of years, but one out of two is good enough for me. Despite your differences you two will be partnered together."
Miyu went white, "I'm...I'm...d-d-dead?"
Yumi reached across the table and flicked Miyu in the forehead. "Well, duh! Don't tell me you haven't figured that out by now! This just proves you're as dumb as a brick! No, scratch that...a brick would definitely be smarter!"
FLASH! Miyu snapped a shot at Yumi, blinding her.
Tsuzuki sweat dropped and put a hand on Miyu's shoulder. "Just consider this a career change for the bet-"
"HOW?! How could I, Top reporter of Chicago, be dead?"
"Oh, I don't know... maybe because you're a brainless klutz?" Yumi suggested.
Ignoring her Miyu burst out crying. "I'll have someone's head for this! Better yet! Their job! I'll see they never live in peace again! I'll haunt them forever!"
Grabbing Chief by the collar she shook him violently. "Tell me who the lousy scum bag was! Names man! I want names!"
"Chishiki Yumi, driver of a dark purple Convertible. Travel speed at the time 85 mph." Tatsumi interjected.
Miyu practically tossed Konoe out of his chair. "Murderer! I always knew you hated me, but this?!"
Yumi looked astonished. "I thought that rusty hunk of junk looked familiar. But wait a second speeding beauty! Tatsumi, exactly how fast was this maniac going at the time?"
"Hikigane Miyu, driver of a blue and silver Ducati Monster. Travel speed at the time 87 mph."
Yumi and Miyu glared at each other.
"I KNEW YOU'D BE THE DEATH OF ME!" They screamed at the same time.
"Well I'll just bask in the knowledge that I most likely lived a few seconds longer than you." Yumi said smugly.
Once again Tatsumi interjected. "Time of death for both Miss Miyu and Miss Yumi was 1557 (3:57 p.m.)
Shaking her head, Yumi said, "Miyu, you always were a shameless copycat."
"Dream on! You were probably more than happy to meet your favorite bandage clad boyfriends in person!"
"I'll have you know my busy work schedule simply wouldn't allow for a frivolity like dating!" She moved on to a more offensive stand, "At least I don't openly stalk poor actors! Poor Seki can't even go shopping with out you telling everyone what name brands he wears or what he eats!"
"You're not worthy to even speak Tomokazu Seki's name you middle-aged mummy maniac!"
About an hour later, Konoe, Tatsumi, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and Watari shared a bottle of aspirin and made the decision that it'd be best not to have Yumi and Miyu partner up.
"So then, Watari and Tatsumi, I know work in your divisions is a little slower, but I think it best they not be forced together. Don't worry though, they will still go out and get field experience with Tsuzuki and Hisoka."
Watari, who was now paired up with Yumi, pulled out a note pad and began writing questions about what being a woman is all about.
Tatsumi, whose new partner was Miyu, sighed over the fact Miyu had stormed out asking if they had a darkroom. Damn, film wasn't cheap.
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Yumi: After a very long hiatus we're back, much wiser, and much better. We're in the progress of re-editing and re-posting, and need motivation to keep it up. So please review!
Miyu: No fair! How come you got to start the dialogue again! You cadaver-loving freak!
Yumi: Because I have the computer that works!
Miyu: That doesn't matter! I should have started it!
Yumi: Who cares, tell them what else we need and I promise you can start the next chapter.
Miyu: Don't patronize me!
Yumi: Oh please, just do it!
Miyu: What, do I look like a waitress? Well to bad, I'm not taking orders.
(Continue arguing over the matter)
Hisoka crumples over in pain: Make it stop...
Tsuzuki steps forward: You'll have to excuse them. They're having a few problems right now. So please review and save Hisoka! What they're trying to get at is they expect more reviews than the last time around. It'll save us all some headaches...
Hisoka: Especially those of us who have to listen to them a second time around...
