Anastasia Blues

Chapter One

I sat in the back seat of Elwood's used police car he got last spring. Kicking my feet up on the seat in front of me, I took out a cigarette and lit it. We pulled up to Joliet and waited.

"This is taking forever."

"We just got here five minutes ago." I saw Elwood furrow his eyebrows.

"I don't care. Still takes forever."

He shook his head, and was probably rolling his eyes. I wouldn't know. I couldn't exactly tell because of his sunglasses.

They call me Anastasia Blues (Anastasia Carroll, respectively). I'm part of the Blues Brothers band. Or I was. We broke up right when Jake went to jail because he decided to go and rob a gas station. We all dressed the same, Elwood, Jake and I did. We had our names tattooed on our fingers and a cross tattooed where our thumb and pointer finger connected. We wore fedoras, black sunglasses, black jackets, black ties, a white button down shirt; the boys wore black slacks and black dress shoes. I wore a black skirt that reached the middle of my thighs, black heels, and skin toned pantyhose. My red hair was up in a ponytail underneath my hat, and I kept my blue eyes covered by sunglasses. We knew each other from childhood. Elwood and Jake met first, because they were raised in the same orphanage together. I attended school with them, and would go to the orphanage with them often, mainly to stay away from my parents. I often referred to it as my second home. There, I was introduced to this music called 'blues' and I've loved it ever since.

I kept my eyes shut, and then I felt something thump my feet.

"Hey. They're opening the gates." Elwood said. I looked at him and then looked outside.

"About fucking time."

The both of us got out and I put my cigarette out on the ground. We stood next to each other, crossed our arms, and saw the figure of Jake coming towards us. We also walked up and met each other half way. We stood there for a few seconds, hugged, and then got into the car. Elwood started it and we drove off. It was a silent ride for a bit, but as usual, Jake was the first to break it.

"What's this?" he asked.

"What?" Elwood asked.

"This car. This stupid car." Jake took a cigarette out from the pack and put it back in his jacket. He grabbed the car lighter. "Where's the Cadillac?" when the lighter didn't work he tossed it out the window, annoyed, and looked at Elwood. "The Caddy. Where's the Caddy?"

"The what?"

"The Cadillac we used to have. The Bluesmobile."

"I traded it." Elwood answered simply.

"You traded the Bluesmobile for this?"

"No, for a microphone."

"A microphone?" Jake thought for a second and then nodded once in consideration. "Okay, I can see that. What the hell is this?"

"This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect Police Auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically givin' them away."

Jake scoffed. "Well, thank you, pal. The day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car."

A boat horn blared and we stopped because the draw bridge went up. I leaned forward in my seat and patted Jake's shoulder.

"Nice to see you too, Jake."

"Hey, Ana. Can you believe this?" Jake shook his head.

"Well, it's a good car." I shrugged.

"You knew about this too?"

"Of course I do! I live with him!"

"You two got a thing goin' on?"

"What's it to you?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"You and Elwood?"

"Maybe." I sat back, my freckled cheeks turning a bright red.

"I fucking knew it." Jake muttered. The bells dinged as the little stop strip things went down.

"Ask him about the car." I whispered. Elwood looked at Jake.

"You don't like it?" he asked.

"No, I don't like it." Jake answered. Elwood put his foot to the gas and went on the bridge, then over it making us fly for about half a second and making me scream, and then landed on the other side. Jake sat there for a second.

"Car's got a lot of pickup."

"It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic-inch plant. It's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. It was a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile or what?"

I looked at Jake, waiting for his answer. Jake lit his cigarette with his own lighter.

"Fix the cigarette lighter." He answered.

"I think he likes it." I smirked. Elwood nodded.

"A bit." Jake shrugged.

"Right. Whatever you say, Jake." I chuckled. We pulled up to Saint Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage and stopped. Jake looked at it for a second and then looked at Elwood.

"What are we doing here?"

"You promised you'd visit the Penguin the day you got out."

"Yeah. So I lied to her." My mouth dropped open and I smacked his shoulder. "Ow!"

"You can't lie to a nun. We gotta go in and visit the Penguin."

"No. Fucking. Way." Jake crossed his arms. Elwood got out. I did the same, opened Jake's door, and began to drag him out. "What the hell?" Jake grabbed the seat.

"You gotta go in, dammit!" I tugged on his arm.

"No!"

"Jake!"

"No!"

"Jacob, don't make me hurt you!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Then come on!" I yanked him out of the car and then shut his door. The three of us then walked inside. Elwood lightly pushed the door open and it opened all the way, making a creepy creaking noise. When it stopped, we all looked at each other. We started up the stairs, making them creak, and stopped when we saw the large crucifix with Jesus nailed to it. Behind us, the door closed, making all of us jump. We looked back and then continued up the stairs. Before Elwood could knock, we heard a woman's voice.

"Who is it?" it demanded.

"Jake, Anastasia, and Elwood." Elwood answered. The door opened. There, we saw the Penguin sitting at her desk.

"Come in." The three of us hesitated and then entered, Jake going first. We stood in front of the Penguin's desk and the door creaked behind us and then slammed shut. We jumped again. "Hello. Nice to see you. Please, have a seat." We looked at the two desks behind us and Jake and Elwood sat down in them. I just stood there. "No, no, boys." The Penguin looked at them. "Come over here in front of me. I want to see your faces." She pointed down at her desk. Jake and Elwood moved up to the Penguin's desk and then stopped. I just stood where I was. "The county took a tax assessment of this property last month. They want 5000 dollars."

Elwood furrowed his eyebrows. "Doesn't the church have to pay that?"

"They would if they were interested in keeping the place. But they aren't. This Archbishop wants to sell this building outright to the Board of Education."

My mouth dropped open. "He can't!"

"He can." The Penguin thinned her lips.

"What's gonna happen to you?" Elwood asked.

"I'll be sent to the missions: Africa, Latin America, Korea..."

"Forget it!" Jake said. "Five grand, no problem! We'll have it for you in the mornin'! Let's go, guys."

We started to leave but were stopped by the Penguin's stern tone.

"No, no!" she snapped. "I will not take your filthy, stolen money!"

"Well, then. I guess you're really up shit creek."

The Penguin smacked him with a ruler, making Jake groan in pain. "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" she spoke softly.

"I offered to help you."

"Mmhmm."

"You refused to take our money."

"Mmhmm."

"Then I said, "I guess you're really up shit creek."" The Penguin hit him with the ruler again. "Ow!"

"Christ, Jake, take it easy, man." Elwood said.

"Elwood!" the Penguin hit him with the ruler.

"Oh, shit!"

"Fuck, Elwood, when she's got a ruler you know to not cuss." I was smacked with the ruler. "Son of a bitch!"

"Jesus Christ! Ow!"

We began cussing left and right. The Penguin would hit us repeatedly, which made us cuss repeatedly. Finally, Elwood glared at her.

"Ow! You fat penguin!" The Penguin broke the ruler over his head, making Elwood groan. She picked up a metal rod. Elwood stared for half a second. "Fuck this noise, man!" he took my hand and we ran out. Jake, who couldn't get out of the desk, followed us the best he could, yelping because the Penguin kept hitting him with the metal thing. Finally, he made it to the stairs and fell, breaking the desk. Elwood and I ran over to him.

"You are such a disappointing trio." The Penguin said. The three of us looked up at her. She had her left hand up in the air. "I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the three young adults whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments would return to me as three thieves with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out. And don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves." And with that, the Penguin literally slid back into her office. The door slammed shut.