Chapter 1
A warden takes any step necessary to defeat the darkspawn. In her mind, Marissa could still hear Duncan speak those words and she felt his presence when making the fateful decision to let Loghain live. When making that choice, it was her assumption that Loghain's expertise would come in handy during the battle and if he survived, he would be sent to Orlais or elsewhere. But she lost Alistair that night. He could never overcome the anger and betrayal and actually fled before the battle, forcing her into an allegiance with Loghain who had survived his joining.
"A Grey Warden must defeat the blight by any means necessary." She remembered Duncan saying. "We must put our pride aside and do what it takes and that often means making unholy decisions."
Alistair had abandoned her as she was about to face her darkest hour. Morrigan pretty much abandoned her as well after Loghain refused to partake in a ritual that she had said would have saved them both. Morrigan's departure left her numb but she wasn't surprised by it. When Marissa discovered Alistair had left Duncan's shield, she knew he was gone for good and it shattered her but she fought her feelings for the good of the battle.
And in the end they defeated the archdemon. As she prepared to make the final blow, Loghain pushed her away.
"For Fereldan!" he roared.
And with that Loghain had sacrificed himself and it was over.
She took no comfort in the fact that Loghain received no acknowledgment, no accolades for his final action. It was Marissa who became known as the hero of Ferelden, and that title would prove to be a curse as well as a blessing.
The only true miracle was being reunited with her brother Fergus. The moment Queen Anora brought her to him, she threw her arms around him and never wanted to let go.
"Lady Warden." Queen Anora said. "You have proven yourself a hero of Ferelden. You will always be welcome here as well as the other wardens. If there is anything you need do not hesitate to ask."
"Thank you Your Majesty. I do have one request."
"Yes?"
"I understand the policy for deserters but I request you make a proclamation. Alistair is to not be executed in the case he is found. "
Marissa watched Anora's expression tighten.
"But he is a traitor to Ferelden."
"With all due respect your majesty, the same could be said for your father. I could have had him killed but I chose not to. And I assume Alistair leaving has automatically forfeited any future chance at the crown. Just let him be."
"Very well." She relented. "The proclamation will go out immediately I just don't understand. Why?"
Marissa flashed back to finding Duncan's shield.
"Because your majesty, I believe some people do deserve redemption. As hollow it was, your father did get his."
"And…I…believe Alistair deserves the same chance."
The pain and exhaustion from her wounds eventually overcame her, & she fainted right there, her last fleeting memory of seeing her brother and friends swarm around her.
************
"No!" Marissa sat up in bed.
Wynne hurried out of her chair and went to her. "It's alright." She said in a soft voice. "You're safe and recuperating at the Warden compound. You're injuries were quite severe but with rest, you will make a full recovery."
"How long have I've been unconscious?"
"You've been drifting in and out for close to five days."
"Wynne, I saw my father and mother." She cried. "They told me they were proud of me and they loved me. I saw my nephew and Oriana. She asked me to help Fergus find love again."
"I bet it was wonderful"
"I never felt so much comfort and peace in my entire life. I wanted to stay but my father said it wasn't my time."
"I think the Maker must have been so moved by your tears, he reached out to the spirits of your loved ones to give you comfort.
"Tears?"
"You cried a great deal as you drifted back and for the between the living and the fade.
"Where is Fergus?" She asked, wanting to change the subject.
"He had some business to attend to at Highever but will be back in a few days."
"How is he doing?"
"His grief is present but I think it would have been worse had he lost you."
"I have to say I'm really surprised to see you here considering what you said to me after what I did."
A look of regret flashed across Wynne's face.
"I know." She said. "Some Gray Wardens from Orlais have arrived in the last few days. They have also been instrumental in your recovery and I had the pleasure of talking with them. They helped me understand why you made that decision. I am sorry for those harsh words I said to you."
"No apology is necessary." Marissa said. "I'm going to have live with this decision for the rest of my life but knowing you understand, eases the burden a bit."
She noticed Duncan's shield standing against the wall.
"Why do you think he left the shield behind?" Wynne asked.
"Because he didn't feel he was worthy enough to have it."
"One of the Gray Wardens from Orlais said Alistair's sense of honor made him forget the main tenet of the Wardens; that being, you do whatever it takes to defeat the darkspawn."
'By any means necessary.' Duncan's voice echoed from her mind.
"When thinking about it now, I also think your decision made Alistair think you had no faith in him or his abilities as a warrior. "
"But it was never about that." She cried. "I hated Loghain for what he did but that doesn't mean his battle expertise should not be used just because you despise him due to his treachery"
"The Gray Wardens said basically the same thing." Wynne said. "They were also happy you got Queen Anora to make that proclamation because they really want to replenish the ranks here."
But he's gone Wynne."
"I would not be too certain about that. There has been word spreading about a man who single handedly slaughtered a dozen ogres destroying a small village not far from Denerim The description they gave of the man was fairly accurate to Alistair."
Wynne helped her out of bed, handing her a robe & slowly walked her toward a table where Marissa suddenly became aware of the room being filled with flowers and packages.
"What is all of this?" She asked
"These are gifts and tokens from well wishers." Wynne said. "You are the hero of Fereldan to them. These are tributes to you."
"Maker's Breath!" She exclaimed. "I don't deserve all of this. I didn't even make the final blow."
"You united all of Fereldan Marissa."
"But, it wasn't just me. It was all of you."
Marissa collapsed in the chair. It was just too much to take in all at once.
"Now what is this about ogres?" She asked.
"Even though the archdemon is dead there are still remnants of the horde scattered about." Wynne explained. "There have been reports of attacks across Fereldan. The Gray Wardens from Orlais have been coordinating efforts with the armies to deal with them. And when they went to this one village, they found what remained of twelve ogres. They made inquiries from some of the surviving villagers who swore to them that it was the work of one man who killed them all. They witnessed the slaughter and spoke of seeing the man's rage as he laid waste to the ogres. When it was over, he just left declining the offers to heal his wounds."
"And the description they gave matched Alistair?"
"Yes." Wynne said. "Sten was even impressed when hearing this. He said Alistair was likely on his own quest for atonement."
"I should be out there helping them."
Marissa tried to get up but fell back in the chair.
"My dear, I'm afraid it's going to take a bit longer before you are in all full fighting form again. Now let's get you back in bed."
*************
Alistair opened his eyes finding himself lying by a fire. He was in one the shacks of the village he rescued. An old woman knelt by him, gently checking his wounds.
"You are on the mend." She told him. "A couple more days rest and you can be on your way."
"Did you remember the promise you made?"
"The people who came by, we told them you left."
"Thank you. Did they tell you of any news from Denerim or Fort Drakon?" "Yes. It has been defeated." She said. "They are dealing with what remains."
Alistair felt as if heart was just pulled out of him.
"Any word on the Gray Warden who died?"
"No. We just heard Loghain was killed."
Alistair sat up. "Maker's breath! It can't be possible."
If she was alive then it was the only thing he could truly be thankful for.
