A/N: This was actually supposed to be a Delena fic, with lots more angst in it, but then it turned into humor. Well, I thought, if I write a humor fic, it should be about Klaus, because well, do you remember the look on his face when Stefan told him he had his family with him? I LOLed. His expression – he looked so annoyed. And that's what inspired this, I guess. So every time I mention that he's annoyed, just think of that face.
Also, Klaroline shippers! There's a small scene at the end of this fic, which is light but still, Klaroline. It was quite tough to write after all the trolling.
Please review!
/I replaced this chapter because the dividers didn't show on the site. Sorry bout that.
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He's done it, he's turned. The world at his fingertips. The sight is beautiful, the scent even more. He relishes in it.
But there is something wrong with the picture. There is a dog beside him looking for a friend. It nips affectionately at his ear, and pants playfully, looking for a play mate. Klaus is annoyed.
He doesn't hesitate before tearing it apart.
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His brother waits for him as he awakes, feeling fresh and new. He enjoys stalling him, rambling on about how amazing the experience was. The first and only hybrid of more to come.
As Elijah tosses him his clothes, he grins as he remembers the feeling, only to be interrupted by his annoying brother.
And that's when it hits him: he's not wearing any clothes.
"Stop looking at me!" he roars at his brother.
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As he travels with his faithful companion, the not-so-broody-anymore Stefan Salvatore, he grins. He loves how fast word has spread about him being a hybrid, and how quickly the mention of his name strikes fear into the hearts of others. Klaus. It's absolutely satisfying.
He's at peace with Stefan, almost developing into the comfortable friendship the younger vampire had forgotten. It has been a mildly irritating day; his hybrids won't turn. After a long day they decide to go to a bar, and order some drinks.
"And what will you two lovebirds have?"
Stefan shifts uncomfortably and Klaus shoots the winking waiter his best death glare. They both agree to what they'll be having tonight, and it isn't going to end well for the waiter.
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Evil has arrived in the face of his sister.
When he wakes her, it's expected that she would rage at him. But he thought after a while they would settle back into their brother-sister-ness.
He forgot how annoying it is to have a sister.
She's always asking him for money, she thinks that the twenty-first century is rubbish and she's in love with his companion. Her inexplicably large blonde head is always messing into his business and her voice reminds him of a helpless raccoon.
He's Klaus, and he doesn't do annoying helpless baby-sister raccoons.
Now that he thinks about it, she does look like a raccoon. Her eyes are oddly shaped with an uncanny resemblance to those stupid animals, and not to mention her choice of eyeliner doesn't help. Sometimes he wishes he didn't wake her. How like his sister to have lost the stupid necklace that he so desperately needs.
Not to mention she can't keep her eyes off his prize.
Stupid raccoons and their idioticness.
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They've all settled into comfortable companionship; some might call him and Stefan a bromance. But he knows there's something Stefan is keeping from him, and he's determined to find out what.
Everything always leads back to the stupid town of Mystic Falls, to the stupid people who always tend to annoy him and the stupid place where everything began. He's annoyed and decides that everyone is stupid.
People are stupid, vampires are stupid, werewolves are stupid. The only non-stupid one alive is him.
And then he finds out that the stupid bloody doppelganger is still alive.
The world is stupid and nothing makes sense.
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His sanity comes crashing down when the stupid older Salvatore tells him that his father was coming for him. He knows that his Daddy has issues, and he's not willing to stick around for it.
He remembers oh so long ago how his father had made him and his siblings turn against their will. He remembers how his mother was killed – and he remembers why he did it.
It's because stupid Daddy couldn't accept that his kids were idiots, according to the man who gave them their spirit.
And now that his father is there to kill him, he's betrayed that his sister and companion have taken part in planning his death. No, he's freaking annoyed, because he doesn't do betrayed. But there's one thing that annoys him even more.
He's feeling too many emotions from seeing his father and a tear slipped down his cheek.
A tear.
If there's one thing Klaus doesn't do, he doesn't cry. But the stupid liquid from his eyes betrayed him and slipped down his cheek. And the stupid Salvatore brother saw it.
Damn the world, he thinks, and stakes his father when he gets the chance.
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As he looks down at his temporarily-dead sister, he feels too many emotions at once.
Affection. Betrayal. Hurt. Comfort. Pity.
But there is one thing that always nags at the back of his mind. Klaus is annoyed, as he always is.
He's annoyed at the doppelganger daggering his sister. He's annoyed at the idiot Salvatore who is clearly in love with the doppelganger. He's annoyed at the fact that if he wakes his sister, she's going to annoy him even more than he is right now.
He's mostly annoyed at his emotions.
But if there's one thing he's most annoyed at, Klaus is annoyed at how Stefan has managed to be the biggest troll in the universe.
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His phone buzzes and the troll's voice fills his ear. The doppelganger is screaming and there's the sound of a speeding engine. He's feeling too many things at once: panic, uncertainty, betrayal, fear, and there is still that one part of his mind that is annoyed. It seems as if the troll isn't letting this one go, and he's fed her his blood.
Klaus wants to shout into the phone with frustration.
The troll tells him it's his last chance, and the doppelganger gives a piercing scream.
He momentarily panics and lets his guard down, letting the troll win this round.
When it's all over and he thinks about it, he fumes.
Has he mentioned that he's NOT amused? Not one single bit.
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His sired mate Tyler tells him that he bit his vampire girlfriend, and although he should dismiss it, there's a nagging part of his brain which tells him to fix it.
After all the panic he experienced today, he's stupid enough to follow his thoughts, and he's in front of the girl's house. He wonders why he's doing this, fixing her.
The first thing she says to him is if he'll kill her, and he sees himself through other people's eyes for a moment.
A monster who doesn't care about anyone or anything other than himself. He's taken aback, and as much as he didn't want to admit, hurt. He's even more hurt when she tells him she expects nothing less from him than her death.
She looks so vulnerable and weak, a vampire curled up in bed, sick and dying, on her birthday, that he decides to make amends.
He tells her about the wonders of the world, how it's at her fingertips. She can have anything she wants, and he watches her as she listens with decreasing uncertainty. Her eyes widen and she's not sure what to think about him. He knows. He can see it in the way she watches him.
He's surprised at how honest and straight-forward she is to him. He's always pictured her as a stuck-up Barbie, but now, in the face of death, she seems nothing more than a little girl.
She reminds him of his sister. But that's not what a voice in his head tells him. It tells him that his affection for her runs deeper than the affection one feels for a family member.
And that's when he feels afraid. Klaus doesn't do afraid, so he pushes his thoughts away.
Her voice is weak as she confesses that she doesn't want to die, and it pulls at his heartstrings. He offers her his wrist, and she looks up to him one last time, to see if he's bluffing.
That's when his wall he was building up started to fall, and he encourages her to drink, taking her into his arms. He strokes her hair and says soothing nonsense to her, trying to comfort her. Why he's doing it, he does not know.
"Happy Birthday, Caroline."
He seems to have lost control of his actions, and he hates himself for it. He hates the girl too – no, he doesn't hate her. She's far too fragile and beautiful for him to hate.
He holds her until she falls asleep in his arms, and when he gets up he looks at her once more. She looks so at peace while asleep, and he realizes with a pang how cruel he is that he was going to let her die on her birthday.
Nobody deserves that.
And he will never forgive himself for it. He needs to make amends, and with a flash he is gone.
He returns later that night, a small box in his hand. He quietly scribbles down a note for her and leaves it at her bedside table. As he moves to leave, he turns to look at her once more.
And he wonders how he could have ever thought of hurting her.
For once, he forgets everything. He forgets his dead raccoon sister, he forgets his demanding Daddy, he forgets his 'I don't give a fuck' brother and his ex-companion, the biggest troll in the universe. He just sees her.
As he reflects on it later on he's surprised that he isn't annoyed. No, Klaus isn't annoyed one bit. And it's the young angel who's made his annoyance go away.
Nobody's ever accomplished that. But what strikes him the most is that he feels human again, and it feels good.
It feels incredible. He's forgotten what it felt like, and she made him remember.
Nobody has ever done that. Nobody makes Klaus feel human.
Except her.
Caroline.
