Hi, yeah, mmhmm, so basically

1: There's more

2: If you don't know what I'm talking about read "Being Doomed and Loving it"

3: If you have and you're confused well I don't know what else to say. I had spare time so I wrote more.

4: The title will make sense eventually I hope

"I frankly have no idea what's going on." Jane tilts her head back at me as she comments on the movie, Sbahj, though I don't know which one it is.

"Well maybe you should pay attention." She spent a particularly long time glancing at my face when she thought I wasn't looking. The look meant something- something likely bad- but I am fully content ignoring it. Confrontation was never my highest priority. Although, learning from my past experiences, I should immediately talk to her.

"Suure, that's the problem." She sarcastically adds before tucking her head back on my shoulder and laughing at some stupid line.

We're in one of the rooms in my place, decorated for television watching purposes. That's one of the things about Sburb that I actually like; designing rooms however I want. The walls are bright orange- a subconscious decision- to contrast the ink black carpet. Carpet is so fucking cool. I love carpet. Why hadn't I known of its many wonders sooner?

I wasn't very active in smuppet making myself since I had combined one of my robots with a few random tidbits and made a smuppet machine. When I got bored I weaponized my sylladex completely with puppets and shot them at the weird skeletons. To this day I swear that those things can be either scared half to death or obsessed with puppets; there is no in between.

Jane never minded the smuppetry much, although, she politely requested I replace the thematic furniture. I obliged. There was no denying Ms. Crocker.

"Dirk. This seems to be a very humorous and important scene that you're nodding off to." Oh, I am falling asleep, there is actual drool. I bet Jane is finding that exceptionally attractive. She giggles as I wipe my mouth with my shirt.

"What?" Here it goes. She's surely rejecting me or something, so might as well get out over with, and rip it of like a bandage. Jane's probably ditching me for Jake. Or Roxy. Or AR. Or Fefetasprite. Goddamn the allure of that sprite! Okay, so maybe some ideas make more sense

than others, but the point is she will leave me and I'll be alone and motherfuck there'll be nothing I can do about it.

"What?" She asks in response.

"What's been bugging you?"

"Oh..." Jane's eyes go to her hands. She gets quiet fast. It doesn't bode well. But fuck, I'll go down fighting. "I had a question..."

"What?" I probably cut her off more than encouraged her, but I'm getting jumpy.

She looks right into my eyes, though how she can look straight through the shades will be an eternal mystery. Before finding her words she draws in a breath. "Weren't you gay?"

Oh.

Oh.

Ohhhhhh.

I probably laughed for several minutes, being relieved at the lack of a breakup taking place. She tries to resist laughing, but soon joins me. I fall off of the plush loveseat and onto the ground (carpet man, get it), not being injured and not stopping laughing. Jane tried to reach for me the second she noticed my falling, but I just fall too fast. She fell down with me.

I keep laughing, not realizing what happened, until I notice she stopped giggling. Fuck.

My glasses are a foot away from my face on the floor.

Jane is looking at my eyes, not in the way that people make eye contact. She is analyzing, expressionlessly so I can't tell how she is reacting. Does she see freakish eyes? No. Not freakish. Different. My eyes are just different. There is nothing wrong with them being different. Nothing. No reason to cover them with glasses. Just. For. Irony.

"Your eyes." She starts.

"Yeah..."

"Did you know that they are bright orange?"

"No, I didn't, thanks for notifying me." I try to cover it up with sarcasm.

"You know, orange is exactly what I'd expect."

"Ms. Crocker, how dare you accuse me of not being ironic. I'll have you know, that by being unironic, I am being ironic."

She giggled, "You know what else?"

"Hmm?"

"Orange is a very pretty color."

"Is it-" She cuts me off and kisses me. We have kissed a lot before, but it somehow feels different knowing that my eyes are very much exposed. I feel unguarded, but also relieved.

I guess that's love; letting your guard down at the risk of being hurt. And I swear, letting Jane Crocker toy with my heart is worth it, as long as I've been able to love her for this time. Throughout my life, I have never wanted to trust people with my eyes, but Jane, she could look at my eyes all she wanted- I trust her with them. Friends have secrets, but Roxy, Jake and Jane are my only friends and I still haven't trusted them. No, my eyes aren't a secret, but something more sacred. My eyes were mine, and only mine, but now they are ours. And we can share them until this timeline's inevitable end.