Again, I own nothing.
Her stomach dropped, her throat tightened, her eyes stung with tears.
It had all slipped out of her grasp.
Just like that.
Her second chance at true love and happiness.
The only chance she had left. How many people get a third chance at true love?
The tears were threatening to escape.
Regina was overcome with emotions and thoughts, all leading back to the tattoo and what it had meant and yet all hope was gone. In what realm would a man ever possibly choose her over the mother of his child, the woman he would have "gone through hell to be with again."
She would not let them see her cry.
Without another glance at the happy reunited family or at the naive princess who had just wanted to save a life, she poofed herself out of the diner and collapsed on the floor of her vault with a strangled cry.
She drew her knees to her chest and covered her face with her hands, wondering how it could have gone so terribly wrong.
She had defeated her wicked sister, and she had done it with light magic.
Villains don't get happy endings.
The thought crept into her mind and she let out an anguished moan because she had done everything she could to prove that she was not a villain; she had tried so hard to show that she could be a hero.
Where did good get her?
Nowhere.
She was alone, just as she would have been if she had still been the Evil Queen.
Emma had Henry; Regina would never fully have him all to herself ever again.
And then her chance at happiness with Robin…it was too much.
Robin, who had broken down her walls, who had seen past her Evil Queen persona the very first time they had met in Storybrooke, who had showed her he cared for her in a way she hadn't thought any one would.
Robin, for whom she had taken a giant leap of faith to kiss that night in the forest.
Robin, who had returned her heart to her, just as he promised.
Robin, who had given her hope that had never seemed possible before she had met him.
False hope, that was, now.
She couldn't breathe because of the pain, pain she hadn't felt this intensely since Daniel's murder at her mother's hands.
Figures it would be inadvertently because of the Charming family, again.
Would things have been different if she had approached him in the tavern?
Or would Marian have been in the way even then?
How could he possibly be her true love - no, worse - how could Regina be his true love when he still loved Marian? He would never leave Marian now that she was alive and well. The thought repeated over and over again in her head; how could he leave Roland's mother for Regina? He still loved Marian, and he always would. The only place Regina would ever occupy in his life would be a distant memory of the last few blissful days that they had spent wrapped up in each other's arms, stealing glances and kisses whenever they could.
If Marian died…
No. She stopped herself from thinking like that. She had come so far from being the Evil Queen, and she had worked so hard to be good and worthy of Henry, she would not throw it all away. Had she learned nothing from her experience with Henry? Robin would never love her if she took away the mother of his child, his wife. He would never forgive her.
And even if Marian died, somehow, without any attempts on Regina's part, if Robin did come back to Regina, wouldn't he just be settling for something second best?
Regina could not bear to think of herself as second best when it came to love. Either it was true and earth-shattering and magical, or it was nothing. The only way she would be happy would be if he chose her over Marian.
But he never would.
Why would he?
Love meant sacrifice, didn't it? Love meant putting someone else's needs and wants above your own, wishing all the best and happiness for the other person.
Loving Robin - which she had come to realize she did, even if they had had so little time together - meant letting him be happy with his wife and child.
There would be no room for her in his happiness.
Tears still falling and gasping for air between sobs, she reached into her chest and pulled out her heart.
The pain diminished slightly, but there would always be a hole in her chest that she would never have the chance to fill.
The worst curse of all had been placed on her; she would never have someone.
Standing shakily, she placed her heart in a box and locked it up. She walked out of her vault slowly and unsteadily and to her bedroom, where she collapsed on her bed and crawled under the covers, hoping she would wake up and the whole thing would be just a bad dream.
As she drifted to sleep, her eyes puffy from crying, she had one thought:
Tinkerbell was wrong.
She was destined to be alone.
Pixie dust could fail.
NB: So if you read this, thanks! It's my first time writing any kind of story, ever. Outlaw Queen just gives me a lot of feels so I had to write something.
Let me know what you think! I was thinking of perhaps adding another chapter or something about Robin's reaction, followed by a first meeting again after the fact...but only if there is demand for it!
:)
