Never a False Step
Author: Orrymain
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback welcome)
Category: Slash, Drama, Romance, Missing Scene, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D
Rating: PG-13
Season: 7 (with flashback to season 2)
Spoilers: One False Step, Maternal Instinct, Singularity
Size: 47kb
Written: July 20,31-August 2-4, 2003 Revised October 11, 2003
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally!
Summary: Daniel has written about their experiences during One False Step and may regret it as Jack teases him relentlessly about planes, Danny dances, and meaningful conversations with dogs! This is the 5th in the "They Don't Understand" series. Each story can be read independently and can stand alone, however.
Notes:
1) Jack and Daniel are noted for having what I call double conversations. A simple "Jack" could mean several things, saying much more than just the name itself. A normal question like "what are you doing" could carry multiple connotations, including feelings, desires, fears, etc. At various points during this series, these double conversations are noted like this: "Actual Spoken Words" **(double dialogue meaning)**
2) Actual excerpts from the computer diary will start with //Beginning of Daniel's Diary// and end with //End of Daniel's Diary//.
3) Used with the author's permission, references to Daniel's conversation with a dog is from the humorous "A Meaningful Conversation" by Kaz. The brief section clipped by "//Flashback//" is taken from this story and was written by Kaz. The entire story can be found at http://www.sg1hc.com/archive/5/ameaningful.html.
4) Information about feeding dogs chocolate is accurate; giving a dog chocolate can be very harmful if not lethal. More information can be found at my doggie's web page: http://home.comcast.net/~Orrymain/dogs.htm
Never a False Step
By Orrymain
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
Not every mission has the intensity going into it that is often present when we do battle with the Goa'uld. PJ2-445 was one of those. The UAV had unexpectedly crashed, and a life form appeared through its still functioning camera lens. General Hammond sent SG-1 to retrieve the damaged UAV so that Sam could determine the cause of the malfunction that prompted the device to crash land.
Soon after we arrived, we came across one of the aliens. At first glance, he appeared to be naked, something which made all of us a bit uncomfortable. I said "Hi" trying to do my peaceful explorer greeting, but the alien ran off.
"I guess that was the wrong thing to say," I stated from my disappointment.
SG-1 followed the alien to the area where several hut type homes were stood. They were simple, looking like barren caves on the inside. We needed to find the UAV, so I ventured inside the alien homes to attempt to talk with them.
"You don't speak at all, do you," I asked as more of a statement than a question to the inquiring look of the aliens who were as curious about us as we were about them.
It turned out that the aliens weren't nude, but their skin was level after level of dried ... paint. They put some on my face, as a gesture of friendship, I assumed.
"Thank you," I told them, wondering what Jack would think if he saw me.
Of course, I totally forgot about how my face would look to Jack when I demonstrated to our new friends what the UAV was like, praying that Jack would stay outside while I ran around the room, arms outstretched, making the sound of a flying airplane.
As I "crashed" my body airplane, I thought, "Oh, please let Jack stay outside."
The teasing would never end if My Colonel had seen this exhibition.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
Loud and boisterous laughter permeated the air from the study. Daniel shook his head. He was in the living room, repairing a broken shelf. The night before the young man and his lover had gotten a little carried away on the "who alpha'd who" tug a war they sometimes played, and they slammed against one of the bookshelves, causing two of the inner shelves to collapse from the force of their bodies.
A picture frame that encased a photo of Jack's parents had broken, and a candy dish had been chipped, but the main damage was to the brackets that held the shelves which were either bent or broken.
"I can't believe we did this," Daniel snorted as he worked to reconnect the shelves, thankful they hadn't done more damage.
Daniel remained focused on his task, until the laughter escaped from the study, causing him to hang his head and let out a deep sigh.
"Why am I letting Jack read this diary?," Daniel asked himself.
He knew the answer. Jack was his partner, his soul mate, the love of his life. They were a nation of two, and that meant they shared everything, even the most private of thoughts. It wasn't always easy, and sometimes the walls were there despite their best intentions, but Daniel could never keep anything from Jack, and Jack was the same with him.
The laughter hadn't stopped. Putting down his screwdriver, Daniel sank to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chin, and placing his arms out to tug them close. It was a bit of a sitting self-hug as he reviewed why he was subjecting himself to this torment.
"Why am I even writing this diary?," he spoke aloud.
He knew the answer for that, too. It was insane for someone as private has he to think of sharing his life story with others, but that's exactly what Daniel hoped would happen some day. He didn't like the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" mentality. He resented it. He hated that he had to lie about his feelings for Jack.
Jack and Daniel were always having to be careful, to watch. It hurt. Why couldn't people understand that they were simply in love, and why should that amazing emotional miracle make them social outcasts simply because they were both the same gender?
This was why Daniel was keeping his computer diary; in the hope that one day, their experiences would help others understand their love and that it was beautiful, not sinful.
Again, laughter snapped Daniel out of his thoughts. He got up and finished the last of the repairs as he mentally asked, "Why did I write about that? I could have ignored it, but oh no, Jackson has to be complete; can't take a short cut. Idiot!"
Daniel had no answer for this, much to his chagrin, except that as a scientist, he believed in detail, and he wasn't ashamed at his method of communication, and after all, it had worked. He just knew life with Jack O'Neill would never be the same.
The next thing he knew, a paper plane soared by his ear into the bookshelf. Daniel heard a wicked chuckle directly behind him, but before he could react, he was engulfed.
"Ah, there's my little pilot," the Colonel chuckled as he approached, putting his arms around his archaeologist, and pulling him into him. Jack nibbled an ear, causing a moan to escape from the younger man.
"Honestly, Daniel, did you really run around that ... that hut doing an imitation of the UAV?," Jack asked as he feasted some time on his lover's soft ear lobe.
Daniel wanted to be sarcastic with his incorrigible partner, wanted to say, "And shouldn't you have read my final report on PJ2-445?," which he knew Jack hadn't done, but he could never concentrate when Jack was nibbling, especially not ... right ... ah, there.
"Danny?"
"Jack, if you want an intelligent response, you have to ... stop ... that!"
Another chuckle from the older man, then a final nibble before Jack pushed back, slapping his lover's firm buttocks as he walked away.
"JACK!"
"So show me, Daniel."
"Jack, I am NOT going to show you."
"Oh yes you will, Daniel. Trust me, you will."
Jack was smirking, and Daniel knew he was in trouble from the gleam in Jack's eye, the crook of his smile, and the taunting tone of his voice. The younger man gulped.
"Why oh why did I write in that diary?," Daniel again asked himself as he unconsciously took a step backwards so that he was only a foot or so in front of the newly-repaired bookshelf.
There hadn't really been anything dramatic about this mission. He should have kept his big trap shut, and his telling fingers doing something besides typing on a keyboard. His fingers were very talented. Daniel let loose with beguiling smile, realizing what he should have been doing with those fingers, and it wasn't typing.
"Ah, Dr. Jackson," Jack said in a low voice, as he seductively swaggered back towards the smiling man, "I see we may be on the same page here."
Jack embraced Daniel and they kissed, devouring each other. The fight from the night before for "alpha" was back on and they started to move furiously, almost violently.
"NO!" Daniel suddenly shouted.
Jack's heart stopped.
"No?," Jack repeated silently, alarms blaring in his head. Jack had no idea what would have caused the outburst from his alluring lover.
"Daniel, what's wrong?"
"Sorry, Jack. I just fixed the shelves, and I could tell we were leaning that way. You are not going to undo my hard work, Colonel O'Neill."
Jack breathed again, not realizing he had been holding his breath from a panic he didn't realize he had. His focus returned, Jack brushed his lips gently against Daniel's.
"No, definitely don't want to undo your work, but I do want to undo ... you ... and as for hard ..."
"Jaaaack."
Both men laughed, their passion temporarily on hold for an unexpected moment of a more tender embrace. Their foreheads were leaning together, their hands on each other's waists. It was only for a moment, one between the violent-like passion to lay claim onto the other in the living room, and the one that followed, a slow and gentle caressing and moving together of their bodies as they melded into each other, their love exploding into the air until they were too exhausted to do anything but hold on to each other in their bedroom.
"So, Danny, about showing me your airplane act ..."
"Jack." **(No way, Colonel.)**
"Daniel." **(Trust me, Dr. Jackson, I have only just begun to fight.)**
The younger man grunted and fell into the temporary safety of sleep, knowing he would one day lose the battle. He only hoped he'd have the courage to give it up sooner rather than later; it would be less painful, and less exhausting than trying to fight the Special Ops trained Colonel.
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
Feeling like I had failed, I reported to My Colonel, without revealing the basic communication tactics I had resorted to. I finally admitted that Jack had been right when he said the aliens were a less evolved society.
"I've had more successful conversations with dogs," I said reluctantly, and if I were lucky, Jack would never ask me about that experience.
We were interrupted when the aliens surprised us by bringing out the damaged UAV. I was excited. Apparently, they did understand, but my elation was short-lived when I sneezed, and one of the aliens collapsed. Several others also lost consciousness as time passed, and we had no idea why.
Fearing an epidemic, Janet made a "planet call" and ran some tests before she and Sam returned to the SGC with one of the ailing aliens. Then life on PJ2-445 really got ... exciting.
A plant that had been at least 6' tall suddenly shrunk down to the ground before my eyes. Jack and Teal'c had just returned from a short recon, but hadn't seen the plant's withdrawal. I'm afraid My Colonel doubted me, again.
We ... bickered, but the reason seemed unknown to both of us.
"Okay, what are we going to do?," I asked.
"How should I know?"
"Well, we need to do something."
"I agree with you, but I haven't had the brilliant revelations you seem to have had."
"Well, maybe you could try coming up with something a little bit better than inappropriate sarcasm."
"You want sarcasm? Nice to meet ya."
An alien approached, as did Teal'c. Jack and I stood there, not sure what to say or do. Neither of us understood why we had just fought.
Then insult was added to the injury, "I'm going to stick around and work on this quarantine thing with Plant Boy here."
I glared at the man I loved, wondering why I loved him.
Teal'c left, and I turned to gather some equipment to continue my studies.
"Daniel."
Jack reached out to grab my arm, but I moved quickly out of his reach.
"Don't touch me, Jack."
"Daniel, you know I ..."
He stumbled. He couldn't even say it, that he was sorry for his inappropriate sarcasm.
"Jack, why is it you never believe me? We've seen so many strange things in this universe. A plant that ... that ... that ..."
"... shoots up out of nowhere, like what, Daniel? ... a beanstalk?"
I wanted to strangle him, right there on the spot.
"Go away, Jack. I have work to do."
Jack reached out for me again, and again, I pulled away, and this time, I continued to walk, to distance myself.
"Leave me alone, Jack."
What amazed me is that I wasn't really angry, but I felt ... aggravated, agitated, flustered. It didn't make sense. Jack and I bickered, but never without reason, not out of the blue over nothing.
The feelings about Jack not believing me was real. No one ever believed me back then. I never understood what it was about me that made people doubt rather than support.
It's better today. Jack, he's fixed that, but when we went to PJ2-445, I still had to prove my worth, that I could be trusted.
Why was a plant that grew out of the ground so hard to believe when we had seen symbiotes living in human beings, invisible cities, little men from outer space? But no, Dr. Jackson saying a plant sprang forth from the ground and returned to it was too much to be believed.
I loved Jack, believed in him, trusted him. Why couldn't he do the same for me? Oh, he did at home. He was always different when it was just the two of us, but on a mission, the Colonel took root. I wondered if My Jack understood that while I loved him, I didn't always like the Colonel.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
Jack sat back, slumping down slightly in the leather chair Daniel had purchased when they redecorated the study. It was the most comfortable chair Jack had ever sat in.
"Crazy extravagance," Jack moaned as he turned on the built in massager, letting soothing pulses knead his tense back and shoulders. Jack closed his eyes as he remembered their discussion about buying the chair.
"Danny, we don't need something this expensive."
"I want to buy it for you, Jack. What you do ... what we do is so stressful. This will be great to help you relax."
"There are lots of ways to relax, Daniel, without spending $1700 on a chair."
"I know it's a bit over the top, but ..."
"Over the top? Daniel ... $1700! I can go get a chair at Office Depot that'll work just fine for $45."
Daniel looked deflated, but he didn't back down. Instead, he stood firmly in place and hunkered in with folded arms across his chest to do battle with his lover. This was very important to Daniel, and he would not be deterred. Daniel gathered his resolve, took a deep breath and battled forth.
"But your $45 chair isn't genuine leather, and it doesn't come with a button control that you can adjust to hit your back just right, nor does it tilt to fit what you are working on, AND it doesn't have a massager ... and it comes in blue, Jack."
Jack swore Daniel batted those long eyelashes intentionally, knowing that the old marshmallow better known as Jack O'Neill had a thing about the color blue since Daniel was his own blue-eyed wonder. Jack took a deep breath, not ready to concede just yet.
"Why, Danny?"
"Because I want you ... I want both of us to be comfortable, Jack. I know it's a luxury. I know it's ridiculously priced, and yes, I know you'd be 'happy' with some standard desk chair, but I ... I want to do this, Jack. You deserve to be ...", Daniel blushed slightly before continuing, "pam...pampered. It'll be good for you, Jack. Think of it this way, it'll help you calm down when you want to strangle me."
Jack laughed for a moment remembering Daniel's comment about strangling him and his insistence on buying the chair, and as usual, Daniel had been right.
How many times had Jack been grateful to sit in that comfortable chair and turn on the pulsar action as he read some report or worked on paperwork after a strenuous mission? ... or, he had to concede, when he was ready to thwap his loveable but sometimes annoying lover?
"Too many to count," Jack answered to himself.
It was a crazy way for his lover to spend his salary earned through years of blood, sweat and tears, but Jack had run out arguments and gave in. After all, it's not like Daniel couldn't afford it. His SGC salary was high up on the civilian consultant pay scale. Jack reflected back on his acquiescence.
Approaching his soul mate and cupping his face, caressing the cheeks, "You're a crazy man, Jackson, but you win. Just make sure that blue brings out your eyes like you promised."
"I didn't say that."
"Yes, you did, Daniel, when you batted those lashes. Ah! Ah! You know perfectly well what you did, so I expect you to pay up in full, and that means your body with those baby blue eyes in a matching blue chair."
"But Ja..."
Whatever Daniel was going to say was lost forever. Jack had engaged the man in some high intensity lip lock, followed by a heavy make out session on the stairs, and climaxed by ... well, by a series of climaxes throughout the night in their bedroom.
A few weeks later, Jack walked into the study and saw his soul mate sitting handsomely gift wrapped in a cerulean blue leather chair that made Daniel's eyes incredibly bluer than Jack had ever seen.
"Your present is here, Jack."
Daniel's voice was low and inviting.
Jack's eyes were wide. Daniel was buck naked in the chair with a large blue ribbon wrapped around him, with a bow no less.
Jack swooped in, unwrapped his present from the gods for another night of mind-blowing sex.
Just as Daniel was about to drift off to sleep, Jack asked, "Umm, Danny, has the chair for the study arrived yet?"
Daniel's response was a tight squeeze of Jack's most sensitive private part, and he didn't let go.
"What did you say, Jack?"
Jack swallowed, "I said, the chair in the study looks great, Danny. Tha...Thank you."
With a Cheshire grin, Daniel released his grip, and said softly as he once again closed his eyes, "That's what I thought you said, and you're welcome."
His heart was full of happiness at the thought of Daniel, the chair and their night of passion.
Jack chuckled as he thought silently, "I never did ask you, Danny, how you managed to wrap yourself in that bow."
Jack's smile fainted, however, as a glance at the computer screen brought him back to present, reminding him why he had slumped back into the chair a few minutes before, and then a frown pierced Jack's face.
Daniel had thought that Jack hadn't believe him, that he had to prove himself, over and over again. Jack clasped his hands together and threw his head back into the chair, and grunted from frustration.
Daniel's observation was right, to an extent, but it wasn't that Jack hadn't believe him. To the contrary, when Daniel spoke, Jack knew he was probably right about whatever the subject was. It was actually annoying to be in love with someone who was most always right about most everything.
"Annoying?," Jack laughed.
He loved that annoying geek to the ends of the earth, and would never want him to change.
The older man went in search of Daniel and found him puttering in the kitchen.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself. We need to go shopping, Jack. We've been gone so much lately that we're low on just about everything. We'll have to eat Froot Loops for dinner if we don't drop by the supermarket this afternoon."
"I noticed that."
Jack was leaning against the counter, hands in his pockets, looking down at the kitchen floor.
"What's wrong, Jack?"
Daniel put down the pad and paper he had been using to prepare a shopping list, and turned so that he was facing Jack.
"I'm sorry, Danny. I never realized how ... how much what I said, or did ..."
Jack's voice trailed off. He knew what he felt in his heart; he just didn't know how to express himself to his lover. He temporarily solved his dilemma by closing the gap between Daniel and himself, and pulling the man into a warm embrace.
"I love you, Danny, and in case I haven't said it lately, I respect you, and even though it still annoys me, you're almost always right about things."
Jack continued to hold his lover and said softly against his neck, "I always believed in you, even when I didn't show it. I'm just ... stubborn."
Daniel had tried to back away slightly, but Jack wouldn't let him, choosing to continue his admission.
"It was me, Daniel. I was the leader, the CO, and it was my job not to make mistakes. I was responsible for you, and Carter and Teal'c, and anyone we came into contact with who were affected by us. Daniel, your mind, it operates on hyper speed. Your faster than all of us put together. You get to Point C before the rest of us have gotten to Point B.
"Danny, I remember when we found the kid, the baby Shifu, and you told me to put down the weapons, and afterwards, you were upset because I didn't give the order until after Bra'tac and the others had weighed in on the issue, but don't you see, Danny, it's the same thing. You were there, at that third point when we were still standing in the middle?"
Jack finally pulled back, not releasing his lover, but making it so they could look at each other. Jack kept one hand on Daniel's back, caressing, and moved his right hand to stroke the man's smooth cheek.
"Your smart, way smarter than me, Daniel, and you have to remember I need more time to process, to ... catch up with you. I'm so sorry, Love, that sometimes it looked like I didn't believe you."
Jack kissed Daniel tenderly, then leaned his forehead so he was touching Daniel's, mirroring their pose by the bookshelf earlier that day.
"It's okay, Jack. I understand."
"It's important, Daniel."
Daniel smiled that special smile reserved only for Jack.
"I know, and I mean it, Jack. Sometimes I forget, too, because you play that dumb Colonel role so well, but I do ... understand ... now."
"But you didn't back on 445 with those naked aliens, did you?"
"No," Daniel shyly admitted, "but I know now."
The two lovers kissed passionately before separating. Daniel returned to his shopping list as he asked, "So, did you finish the diary?"
"No, I stopped when I read about the plant thing. I needed to talk to you, and I didn't want it to wait."
Daniel's heart warmed knowing Jack had understood, finally, how hard it had been for Daniel in those days. It also meant more to him than he could say that his lover made it a point to make sure Daniel understood that everything wasn't how it seemed. Sometimes, for a genius, Daniel didn't always pick up on the little things.
"I love you, Jack."
"Me, too!"
Deciding he'd prefer to be with his lover than finish the grocery list, Daniel grabbed Jack's arm and tugged gently, "C'mon, let's go back to the study and you can finish the entry while I read a book."
Jack put his left arm around Daniel's waist as they walked and, recalling what he'd already read in the computer diary, decided to seize the moment.
"Oh, Danny, about those conversations you had with dogs."
"Jaaaaaack!"
"Seriously, Daniel, I want to know all about it."
"Sure you do," Daniel spoke sarcastically.
"I am in such trouble," Daniel thought to himself.
Jack halted as they neared the door to the study, and turned his lover to face him, holding him in his arms.
"I want to know everything about you, and that includes your dogs."
"I ... I never had a dog, Jack."
"Never?"
Daniel tried to push back from the embrace and turned his head towards the study, but Jack held on.
"Ah, Danny, every kid should have a dog. It's a rule you know."
Daniel laughed and looked into Jack's eyes.
"That's what you said to Cassie that day at the park. I thought Sam was going to burst when she saw you walk over with the dog."
"Carter thinks that all a kid needs is a Major Matt Mason doll."
Jack's look became serious and full of regret, and he brought his right hand up to caress Daniel's cheek.
"You should have had a dog, Daniel."
There was so much said in those seven words. Daniel was misty-eyed, but didn't cry. Jack continued his caress as the two stood, silently melancholy over a history they couldn't change, a history of an orphaned genius, abandoned by his grandfather, passed from home to home, always being on the outside, never fitting in.
The regret of Charlie Brown Christmases and uncelebrated birthdays, the little boy giving but rarely receiving, flooded their minds.
Jack pictured the boy in his mind, his Daniel alone, scared, building those layers and layers of walls that would shield him as an adult from pain, walls it had taken Jack years to tear down.
"He should have had a dog," Jack thought silently. "Right, O'Neill, to have a dog would mean he would have had a home, and he never had one of those until ..."
Jack's inward conversation with himself was interrupted when he found himself being kissed.
"How'd I miss that coming," Jack laughed inwardly.
"We're supposed to be reading, not ... not ..."
"... thinking about things we can't change no matter how much we wish we could ... and would in a heartbeat, for you, Danny."
"I know, but I ... I wouldn't change anything, Jack, be...because if I did, then maybe we ... we might not even have met, Jack, and I can't imagine not being here with you, and I ... I would never do anything to jeopardize our lives together, even if I could magically ... have had a dog."
"... and your parents, Love," Jack said silently.
Jack would hate it, but he'd walk away from Daniel this second if he could give back to that lost little boy his parents, a home, and a dog. Daniel should have had what Jack had, a happy childhood with friends and happy memories, not nightmares such as those that haunted the young man.
"Jack?"
"I'm sorry, Daniel, just lost in my thoughts. So, tell me about this dog," Jack cajoled as he motioned for the them to enter the study.
"Forget about the dog, Jack."
"Nope, tell me, Dr. Jackson, you know you will, so why wait?"
Daniel perused the bookshelves, trying to decide what to read while Jack finished reading about their experiences on PJ2-445. Jack was leaning against the desk "Daniel watching."
"Jack, I'm not going to tell you so just sit down and finish the diary," Daniel said as he pulled his novel of choice from the shelf and plopped down on to the sofa.
He arranged the powder blue cushion behind his head, and wiggled his butt as he got his prone body comfortable.
"No, Jack. Go Read."
Jack was still "Daniel watching", and the linguist was getting nervous. He did his best to ignore Jack, sticking the book in front of his face and starting to read. He actually made it through three paragraphs before the silver haired fox pounced on his prey, sitting over the younger man.
"I warned you, Daniel. Start talking. Did the dog actually speak to you?," Jack smirked as he began his tickling assault.
One of Jack O'Neill's most pleasant discoveries in his exploration of Daniel Jackson's body during their first night together was that his Space Monkey was ticklish, certifiably ticklish.
"Nooooo, Jaaa...k. Don... Ja..."
Daniel didn't stand a chance. Pushing Daniel's burgundy shirt up so that his abdomen was exposed, Jack began his attack just above Daniel's belly button, which Jack knew was especially sensitive, and worked his way upward.
"C'mon, Babe, out with it. I can do this all afternoon."
Jack's fingers were kneading, scratching, running over Daniel's torso, and the young man was howling in a mixture of unabashed hysteria and tears, squirming and thrashing as he attempted to fight off his Colonel, the book having been dropped to the floor in the process.
"Alllll...right... Jack...stttttttop," Daniel said, taking a deep breath as Jack relaxed his motions.
Jack didn't move, choosing to keep his place to make sure Daniel followed through. Of course, Daniel's well built physique couldn't go to waste so Jack switched to a light massaging to help calm the still settling convulsions from Daniel's laughing spell.
"So, tell me all about it," Jack said as he rubbed the smooth skin of his lover.
"It was right before I met Catherine, actually. I was feeling down and unsure. I was ... at about the lowest point ... well, one of them anyway. I was lost in my thoughts, sitting on the library steps when this mutt walked by. She was scruffy, looked lost, like ...
"You?"
"Yeah, I guess so. I called out and she came over and we ..."
"Talked?"
Daniel laughed, "Yes, in a manner of speaking. I laughed at myself, sitting there talking out loud to this dog, but at the time, it seemed ... normal enough. She didn't have a collar, and looked hungry. I ... I gave her part of a candy bar I had in my pocket; actually, she ate the entire thing except ..."
"Daniel, you fed chocolate to a dog?"
"What's wrong with that?"
Jack sighed.
"Danny, chocolate can be poisonous to a dog. Never feed chocolate to a dog, no matter how much they beg for it. It may be okay for you to be addicted to it, but chocolate contains caffeine and theobromine, and for canines, that's often deadly."
"I ... I didn't know that, Jack."
Daniel spoke sadly, and then with alarm, "Jack, you don't think ..."
"No, Danny, I'm sure she's fine. Normally, there isn't enough caffeine or theobromine in a candy bar to be lethal, and she probably vomited later. Most do. It's just not a good idea to feed chocolate, any kind, to a dog. Even if it doesn't kill the dog, it might cause dehydration or kidney failure."
"I had no idea, Jack, or I never would have. Jack, are you sure she's all right?"
Jack leaned in and kissed his worrying lover, before changing positions so that he was lying against the back of the sofa, scooping Daniel into him. Daniel nuzzled into Jack contently, needing the comfort from his worries.
"How big was she?"
"Average size ... you know, a mutt."
"And how long were you were with her?"
"Quite a while, actually. She ... we talked a lot and ... played in a field for a while ... and talked some more."
"Then I'm sure she was fine. So tell me, Daniel, what did you two say to each other?"
"She was worried about me. We were friends, after the candy bar and I ... we went on a dig together."
"A dig?"
"Well, yeah, I helped her unbury a stick."
Jack laughed, and began stroking Daniel's silky fine hair.
"So you were pals ... ate, dug, and played together?"
Daniel laughed heartily.
"Something like that. I remember her ... support ..."
//Flashback relayed to Jack//
"Thank you for listening. You're the best audience I've ever had ... at least you stayed." He climbed to his feet and lifted up his belongings. "I hope you find someone to take care of you."
"Woof, woof," the dog replied, but it started to whine.
"Oh, I'll be okay. It'll be good just to be somewhere that doesn't rain so much ... and if L.A. doesn't work out, I'm gonna go back to Egypt ... somehow. I miss the desert."
"Woof?" the animal seemed to ask.
"No." Daniel laughed. "You can't come there with me either ... and thanks for the vote of confidence by the way."
The dog grumbled deep in its throat.
"Yeah, you're probably right ... but I've got to try one more time."
//Flashback ends//
"I'm glad you didn't give up, Danny."
"Well what could I do ... abandon my last chance to be with ... a mutt?"
"After all, look where you ended up."
"Yeah, with a bigger mutt," Daniel snickered into Jack's shoulder.
"Watch it, Jackson. He who laughs last and all of that."
Daniel transitioned from laughter to quiet.
"Y'know, Jack, part of me hated to leave her. She was still alone. It felt a little like I had abandoned her, and I had just met her, but ... you can laugh at me if you want, Jack, but it felt like we ... connected."
But Jack didn't laugh. He kissed Daniel's head, and spoke seriously, "I'd never laugh at you, Daniel, and you know how I feel about dogs. Some of my best friends have been dogs."
"Man's best friend."
"Next to you, Love. Okay, I'd better finish reading this diary thing or we'll be eating dinner at midnight."
Planting a parting kiss on Daniel's lips, Jack gently disentangled himself from Daniel and took his seat in front of the computer.
Daniel picked up his book and readjusted his position on the sofa to be comfortable, but he missed Jack's warmth.
"Jack?"
"Hmm?
"I feel like such a sap."
"A sap? Why?"
"Because you've been sitting over there not more than sixty seconds and ... I miss you. It's ... cold ... alone ... way over here ... and ... I love you, that's why."
Jack's heart was singing, but his stomach was growling, and if he succumbed to his body's desire to warm up his lover, he'd probably starve.
"I love you, Sappy Boy, and I'll get you plenty warm tonight ... after dinner."
"Promises, promises," Daniel said dejectedly, finally opening his book.
Jack decided it was best to ignore Daniel and refocus on the mission diary, for the sake of his food deprived stomach.
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
A while later, I decided to videotape the plant, hoping to catch it growing. Jack was in one of the huts trying to communicate with the aliens, but had no luck, which made him crankier than he had already been.
"Why aren't you helping me?," he snapped, before turning his venom on my videotape project.
"Well, I think this might be important," I defended.
Jack mocked, "I think you might be losing what's left of your mind," adding in a very accusing tone, "on a good you can be a little flaky."
I wasn't going to take that calmly so I struck back with, "And on a good day you can be a little ignorant and condescending."
"Not condescending. You're obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference of opinion on how to handle a crisis."
"Oh please, we have a difference of opinion on just about everything."
"Give me an example."
"I don't know, pick something. How about mythology?"
"Rumors. Lies. Fairytales."
"Ya See! See! See! See! See!"
I was so aggravated by this man I loved who could frustrate me like no other living creature that I actually hopped up and down from the absurdity of his behavior, finally blurting out, "Mythology is one of the primary motivations for cultural development."
"Maybe it is. What does that have to do with filming a plant?," Jack barked.
I proved once again that I was a genius with my stellar reply, spoken with conviction -- "Exactly."
Jack asked for clarification and I gave him another response that was equally in synch with my level of intelligence at the moment -- "I don't know!"
We weren't acting normally, and we both knew it. The question was why, when there was no motivation for it. Why were the smallest of things causing us to be at each other's throats, and not in our normal tongue wrestling way?
"Maybe we're getting whatever they have," I said to Jack.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
Jack had tried to hold back his laughter, but he couldn't do it any longer.
"Ah, Danny, you were so cute."
Daniel set up, dismayed at the guffawing coming from his lover. He knew he should never have written about PJ2-445.
Putting aside the believability issue, Daniel concentrated on the ridiculous. First, there was the stuff about the plane, and then the dog, and now this, the cute factor.
Daniel was in no mood for more teasing, so when he responded, his tone was sharp, focused, and as serious sounding as he could make it. He was, after all, not cute, and he was not going to let Jack claim otherwise. Besides, why was Jack reading that darn diary when Daniel wanted Jack to keep him ... warm ... and ... other things?
"Cute? Jack you're reading one of my computer entries about a mission and you start laughing and say I was ... cute? That's not very professional of you, Colonel O'Neill."
Jack ignored the younger man's challenging tone. Daniel was no match for him today. Jack was feeling young and invincible, both the result of the love and affection given to him by the man he now teased relentlessly.
"Sorry, Babe, but truth is truth. Videotaping a plant? C'mon, it was kinda funny."
"It was not funny, Jack, and what does funny have to do with me being cute ... or not."
"Daniel, you should have seen yourself doing that little ... um, dance. You were so wound up, frazzled, and you went dancing around that planet like a spinning top."
"I was not dancing, Jack, nor was I ... frazzled ... and I am not some children's toy."
Jack's laughter changed in a flash to one of the proverbial dirty old man. Ignoring his grumbling stomach, Jack rose from his chair and went to the sofa, sitting down next to the pouting linguist. He placed his left arm around the young man's shoulders and used his right hand to turn Daniel's head so that they were looking at each other.
"You were, too, cute, Daniel, and you're cute right now. You're also beautiful, more beautiful than anything I've ever seen, and," Jack paused to place a kiss on his lover's nape, "while you are definitely not a children's toy, what you do to me ..."
"Jack," Daniel let out an shy chuckle, turning a deep shade of red, too, as he blushed.
Somehow, intimate talk still embarrassed him, especially when he was the subject. He still marveled at his luck that Jack loved him and with such lust. Daniel was feeling warm again and that meant it was difficult to keep up his act of being miffed by Jack's teasing.
"I love you, Danny."
"Why fight it?," Daniel thought silently. "I love you, too, Jack."
Daniel sighed, "We're such saps, Jack, sickening sweet sometimes."
"Is that a complaint?"
"No, just an observation. I am a scientist, you know."
Jack drew his love closer, and kissed him, sending shivers down both of them. The love they felt in their hearts equaled by the longing and passion of their bodies was pressing them to each other like magnets to metal.
Their passion was interrupted when Jack's stomach spoke up again, causing Daniel to laugh. We really do need to go shopping, Jack, or your stomach is going to rebel and personally, I don't want to be present when it was does."
"Sometimes you lack a sense of true adventure, Daniel."
"I think we've both had our share of adventure, Colonel O'Neill," Daniel spoke as the lovebirds continued their quest to sliver inside the other. Realizing if they didn't stop now, they wouldn't, Daniel pulled back, placing the palm of his hand over his Colonel's heart.
"You're supposed to be reading, Jack, so get back to it so we can get the dang groceries, fix your dang supper so your dang stomach will shut up, and then," Daniel paused as he seductively glided his hand down to Jack's "little Colonel" and pressed gently, "you can keep your promise."
"You're a slave driver, Daniel."
"Just as long as you are my slave. Now go back where you were and continue reading about ..."
"... about how cute and adorable you were when you did that little dance?"
"Jack, mention the word "cute" to me again and you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight ... alone."
"But you'd be cold."
"I'll ... I'll get a dog."
Jack chuckled, gave his lover one more kiss, and then returned to his seat at the desk, refocusing his attention to the computer diary Daniel had written during the past week.
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
Jack decided we should return to the SGC and have Janet check us over since we both had headaches and were easily agitated. Teal'c remained on the planet.
It was a long grueling walk to the Stargate, about ten miles, in a sweltering sun. The longer we walked, the more nauseous I felt.
Jack and I sniped and bellowed at each other the entire way. It was childish banter that made no sense and achieved nothing but make us sound like those spoiled kids in that Willy Wonka movie Jack made me watch once.
Then, I stunned us both by doing the unexpected.
"Daniel, I wish you would be a little more tolerant like we grown ups are."
"And I wish you'd be a little more open-minded like we adults are."
"I am, Daniel, when presented with rational, intelligent opinions and not flaky misconceptions."
I decked him. I actually turned and hit My Jack squarely on the jaw, causing him to fall back onto the ground with a thud. I've never seen Jack O'Neill look as shocked as he did in that moment. I was pretty stunned myself. In an unreasonable, illogical moment of emotion, I slugged my lover, and it felt ... good.
And just as fast as Jack hit the ground, and my moment of "that was great" flashed through my mind, I was consumed with guilt, not from hitting Jack, but because I enjoyed it.
I was in a no-win situation. I wanted to run, but in the first place, there was nowhere to run to, and in the second place, my headache was worse and I thought I was going to throw up at any moment.
Jack quietly stood up, stared blankly into my eyes, and said only, "Let's get to back to the Stargate, Daniel."
He set a quick pace, and I had to hurry to follow, which wasn't easy to do considering how I felt physically. My Colonel still loved me, but at that moment, I was not his favorite person.
Back at the SGC, Janet gave us a thorough checkup. We had to be ill; it was the only explanation. Jack and I both spoke at the same time, jumbled words of apology, half in unison, our brains united just as our hearts are, "It's obvious there's something wrong with us physically."
We were confident. We were also wrong. Janet gave us a clean bill of health, and my lover and I were left sitting on the infirmary bed, stunned at first, and then solemn.
"Danny, there's an explanation. We'll figure it out."
"What if there isn't, Jack? What if ... what if it's just ... us?"
"No, Daniel, there has to be a cause for this. I ... nothing's changed for me. I feel the same way ... about ... you ... us."
"Me, too."
"Okay, then we find the reason."
Jack gave his beautiful Irish smile that launches the butterflies in my stomach, and I was reassured that as always, Jack and Daniel are forever.
Eventually, we realized that the sounds of the plants on 445 were vital to the health of the inhabitants. During our stay, we had been convinced that we were at fault for the sickness afflicting the aliens. I had sneezed, lubricant from the UAV made contact with one of them ... our list went on and on of ways we could have infected them.
Jack had followed me to my office and I started snipping at him again, yelling that we were responsible and had to do something. I realized my headache was back, and that's what finally lead us to make the connection. The sounds from the plants were inaudible to normal hearing but were present on the videotape I had brought back from the planet.
The noise agitated us, and with this, we finally deduced that when the UAV crashed, it injured the plants, distorting the naturally transmitted sound, and causing the aliens to become sick. Fortunately, Sam was able to devise a system to restore the plant's sounds to their normal frequency by leaving a set of emitters on the planet.
It was another happy ending for SG-1, at least for the aliens and the record keepers.
Back on Earth, I took refuge in my office. I didn't really want to be there, but I still felt guilty. It's not every day I go around hitting people, especially the man who holds the key to my heart. We had been reminded by our experience on PJ2-445 that life is often held in a fragile balance, and often times by forces we can't see.
I felt vulnerable that I had lost control, had allowed myself to become a victim, giving in to petty annoyances and nonsensical bickering that was usually a source of amusement for Jack and I. I was getting more frustrated by the minute at my failure, when Jack entered, without knocking, as usual.
"Danny, it's time to go home."
"Actually, Jack, I thought I'd stay and work on these translations from ..."
My lover didn't let me finish. Before I could react, he had me in his arms, devouring my mouth. It was a good thing the security camera in my office was off at the moment.
"Home, Dr. Jackson. Now."
Who was I to argue? I still felt guilty; as I write this diary entry, years later, I realize I still do. I can fight when I have to, but I'm not military, and I don't believe in violence for the sake of violence. Hitting Jack was something I've never been able to put out of my mind for long. He's probably forgotten all about it by now, but I can't.
My reason for writing about PJ2-445 is not the bickering or my guilt, but the reminder that as human beings we have a responsibility to be compassionate, to care, to remember that we touch and affect the people and places we come into contact with. Sometimes that connection is tangible and obvious from the start, and at other times, such as on PJ2-445, the tie that binded them, and us, was something we couldn't see and was underneath the surface.
We need to walk with care through the galaxy, and through our daily lives, to make sure we keep focused and in harmony with our true functions. After all, it would only take one false step to destroy a love, a life, or a world.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
"One false step? That's what you said that day, in your office."
"It's true, Jack."
Jack rose and once again went over to sit by his lover on the sofa.
"We've taken a few of those false steps in our relationship."
"Tiny ones ... Sometimes."
The two men held hands as they sat, momentarily lost in individual thoughts.
"Hey Danny," Jack spoke with a grin, "if you really still feel guilty about hitting me that day, we could level the playing field. You know, tit for tat. I get ... satisfaction and you get rid of your guilt. It's a great idea. You hit me, so now it's my turn to play, to even the score."
"Jaaa..."
Daniel was silenced as Jack's lips took his, Jack's tongue battled his, and Jack's body was fusing into his. Daniel's last coherent thought was that if this was Jack's idea of evening the score, he'd be happy to play every night, and tomorrow, they really were going to have to go grocery shopping.
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
Author: Orrymain
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback welcome)
Category: Slash, Drama, Romance, Missing Scene, Established Relationship
Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D
Rating: PG-13
Season: 7 (with flashback to season 2)
Spoilers: One False Step, Maternal Instinct, Singularity
Size: 47kb
Written: July 20,31-August 2-4, 2003 Revised October 11, 2003
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally!
Summary: Daniel has written about their experiences during One False Step and may regret it as Jack teases him relentlessly about planes, Danny dances, and meaningful conversations with dogs! This is the 5th in the "They Don't Understand" series. Each story can be read independently and can stand alone, however.
Notes:
1) Jack and Daniel are noted for having what I call double conversations. A simple "Jack" could mean several things, saying much more than just the name itself. A normal question like "what are you doing" could carry multiple connotations, including feelings, desires, fears, etc. At various points during this series, these double conversations are noted like this: "Actual Spoken Words" **(double dialogue meaning)**
2) Actual excerpts from the computer diary will start with //Beginning of Daniel's Diary// and end with //End of Daniel's Diary//.
3) Used with the author's permission, references to Daniel's conversation with a dog is from the humorous "A Meaningful Conversation" by Kaz. The brief section clipped by "//Flashback//" is taken from this story and was written by Kaz. The entire story can be found at http://www.sg1hc.com/archive/5/ameaningful.html.
4) Information about feeding dogs chocolate is accurate; giving a dog chocolate can be very harmful if not lethal. More information can be found at my doggie's web page: http://home.comcast.net/~Orrymain/dogs.htm
Never a False Step
By Orrymain
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
Not every mission has the intensity going into it that is often present when we do battle with the Goa'uld. PJ2-445 was one of those. The UAV had unexpectedly crashed, and a life form appeared through its still functioning camera lens. General Hammond sent SG-1 to retrieve the damaged UAV so that Sam could determine the cause of the malfunction that prompted the device to crash land.
Soon after we arrived, we came across one of the aliens. At first glance, he appeared to be naked, something which made all of us a bit uncomfortable. I said "Hi" trying to do my peaceful explorer greeting, but the alien ran off.
"I guess that was the wrong thing to say," I stated from my disappointment.
SG-1 followed the alien to the area where several hut type homes were stood. They were simple, looking like barren caves on the inside. We needed to find the UAV, so I ventured inside the alien homes to attempt to talk with them.
"You don't speak at all, do you," I asked as more of a statement than a question to the inquiring look of the aliens who were as curious about us as we were about them.
It turned out that the aliens weren't nude, but their skin was level after level of dried ... paint. They put some on my face, as a gesture of friendship, I assumed.
"Thank you," I told them, wondering what Jack would think if he saw me.
Of course, I totally forgot about how my face would look to Jack when I demonstrated to our new friends what the UAV was like, praying that Jack would stay outside while I ran around the room, arms outstretched, making the sound of a flying airplane.
As I "crashed" my body airplane, I thought, "Oh, please let Jack stay outside."
The teasing would never end if My Colonel had seen this exhibition.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
Loud and boisterous laughter permeated the air from the study. Daniel shook his head. He was in the living room, repairing a broken shelf. The night before the young man and his lover had gotten a little carried away on the "who alpha'd who" tug a war they sometimes played, and they slammed against one of the bookshelves, causing two of the inner shelves to collapse from the force of their bodies.
A picture frame that encased a photo of Jack's parents had broken, and a candy dish had been chipped, but the main damage was to the brackets that held the shelves which were either bent or broken.
"I can't believe we did this," Daniel snorted as he worked to reconnect the shelves, thankful they hadn't done more damage.
Daniel remained focused on his task, until the laughter escaped from the study, causing him to hang his head and let out a deep sigh.
"Why am I letting Jack read this diary?," Daniel asked himself.
He knew the answer. Jack was his partner, his soul mate, the love of his life. They were a nation of two, and that meant they shared everything, even the most private of thoughts. It wasn't always easy, and sometimes the walls were there despite their best intentions, but Daniel could never keep anything from Jack, and Jack was the same with him.
The laughter hadn't stopped. Putting down his screwdriver, Daniel sank to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chin, and placing his arms out to tug them close. It was a bit of a sitting self-hug as he reviewed why he was subjecting himself to this torment.
"Why am I even writing this diary?," he spoke aloud.
He knew the answer for that, too. It was insane for someone as private has he to think of sharing his life story with others, but that's exactly what Daniel hoped would happen some day. He didn't like the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" mentality. He resented it. He hated that he had to lie about his feelings for Jack.
Jack and Daniel were always having to be careful, to watch. It hurt. Why couldn't people understand that they were simply in love, and why should that amazing emotional miracle make them social outcasts simply because they were both the same gender?
This was why Daniel was keeping his computer diary; in the hope that one day, their experiences would help others understand their love and that it was beautiful, not sinful.
Again, laughter snapped Daniel out of his thoughts. He got up and finished the last of the repairs as he mentally asked, "Why did I write about that? I could have ignored it, but oh no, Jackson has to be complete; can't take a short cut. Idiot!"
Daniel had no answer for this, much to his chagrin, except that as a scientist, he believed in detail, and he wasn't ashamed at his method of communication, and after all, it had worked. He just knew life with Jack O'Neill would never be the same.
The next thing he knew, a paper plane soared by his ear into the bookshelf. Daniel heard a wicked chuckle directly behind him, but before he could react, he was engulfed.
"Ah, there's my little pilot," the Colonel chuckled as he approached, putting his arms around his archaeologist, and pulling him into him. Jack nibbled an ear, causing a moan to escape from the younger man.
"Honestly, Daniel, did you really run around that ... that hut doing an imitation of the UAV?," Jack asked as he feasted some time on his lover's soft ear lobe.
Daniel wanted to be sarcastic with his incorrigible partner, wanted to say, "And shouldn't you have read my final report on PJ2-445?," which he knew Jack hadn't done, but he could never concentrate when Jack was nibbling, especially not ... right ... ah, there.
"Danny?"
"Jack, if you want an intelligent response, you have to ... stop ... that!"
Another chuckle from the older man, then a final nibble before Jack pushed back, slapping his lover's firm buttocks as he walked away.
"JACK!"
"So show me, Daniel."
"Jack, I am NOT going to show you."
"Oh yes you will, Daniel. Trust me, you will."
Jack was smirking, and Daniel knew he was in trouble from the gleam in Jack's eye, the crook of his smile, and the taunting tone of his voice. The younger man gulped.
"Why oh why did I write in that diary?," Daniel again asked himself as he unconsciously took a step backwards so that he was only a foot or so in front of the newly-repaired bookshelf.
There hadn't really been anything dramatic about this mission. He should have kept his big trap shut, and his telling fingers doing something besides typing on a keyboard. His fingers were very talented. Daniel let loose with beguiling smile, realizing what he should have been doing with those fingers, and it wasn't typing.
"Ah, Dr. Jackson," Jack said in a low voice, as he seductively swaggered back towards the smiling man, "I see we may be on the same page here."
Jack embraced Daniel and they kissed, devouring each other. The fight from the night before for "alpha" was back on and they started to move furiously, almost violently.
"NO!" Daniel suddenly shouted.
Jack's heart stopped.
"No?," Jack repeated silently, alarms blaring in his head. Jack had no idea what would have caused the outburst from his alluring lover.
"Daniel, what's wrong?"
"Sorry, Jack. I just fixed the shelves, and I could tell we were leaning that way. You are not going to undo my hard work, Colonel O'Neill."
Jack breathed again, not realizing he had been holding his breath from a panic he didn't realize he had. His focus returned, Jack brushed his lips gently against Daniel's.
"No, definitely don't want to undo your work, but I do want to undo ... you ... and as for hard ..."
"Jaaaack."
Both men laughed, their passion temporarily on hold for an unexpected moment of a more tender embrace. Their foreheads were leaning together, their hands on each other's waists. It was only for a moment, one between the violent-like passion to lay claim onto the other in the living room, and the one that followed, a slow and gentle caressing and moving together of their bodies as they melded into each other, their love exploding into the air until they were too exhausted to do anything but hold on to each other in their bedroom.
"So, Danny, about showing me your airplane act ..."
"Jack." **(No way, Colonel.)**
"Daniel." **(Trust me, Dr. Jackson, I have only just begun to fight.)**
The younger man grunted and fell into the temporary safety of sleep, knowing he would one day lose the battle. He only hoped he'd have the courage to give it up sooner rather than later; it would be less painful, and less exhausting than trying to fight the Special Ops trained Colonel.
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
Feeling like I had failed, I reported to My Colonel, without revealing the basic communication tactics I had resorted to. I finally admitted that Jack had been right when he said the aliens were a less evolved society.
"I've had more successful conversations with dogs," I said reluctantly, and if I were lucky, Jack would never ask me about that experience.
We were interrupted when the aliens surprised us by bringing out the damaged UAV. I was excited. Apparently, they did understand, but my elation was short-lived when I sneezed, and one of the aliens collapsed. Several others also lost consciousness as time passed, and we had no idea why.
Fearing an epidemic, Janet made a "planet call" and ran some tests before she and Sam returned to the SGC with one of the ailing aliens. Then life on PJ2-445 really got ... exciting.
A plant that had been at least 6' tall suddenly shrunk down to the ground before my eyes. Jack and Teal'c had just returned from a short recon, but hadn't seen the plant's withdrawal. I'm afraid My Colonel doubted me, again.
We ... bickered, but the reason seemed unknown to both of us.
"Okay, what are we going to do?," I asked.
"How should I know?"
"Well, we need to do something."
"I agree with you, but I haven't had the brilliant revelations you seem to have had."
"Well, maybe you could try coming up with something a little bit better than inappropriate sarcasm."
"You want sarcasm? Nice to meet ya."
An alien approached, as did Teal'c. Jack and I stood there, not sure what to say or do. Neither of us understood why we had just fought.
Then insult was added to the injury, "I'm going to stick around and work on this quarantine thing with Plant Boy here."
I glared at the man I loved, wondering why I loved him.
Teal'c left, and I turned to gather some equipment to continue my studies.
"Daniel."
Jack reached out to grab my arm, but I moved quickly out of his reach.
"Don't touch me, Jack."
"Daniel, you know I ..."
He stumbled. He couldn't even say it, that he was sorry for his inappropriate sarcasm.
"Jack, why is it you never believe me? We've seen so many strange things in this universe. A plant that ... that ... that ..."
"... shoots up out of nowhere, like what, Daniel? ... a beanstalk?"
I wanted to strangle him, right there on the spot.
"Go away, Jack. I have work to do."
Jack reached out for me again, and again, I pulled away, and this time, I continued to walk, to distance myself.
"Leave me alone, Jack."
What amazed me is that I wasn't really angry, but I felt ... aggravated, agitated, flustered. It didn't make sense. Jack and I bickered, but never without reason, not out of the blue over nothing.
The feelings about Jack not believing me was real. No one ever believed me back then. I never understood what it was about me that made people doubt rather than support.
It's better today. Jack, he's fixed that, but when we went to PJ2-445, I still had to prove my worth, that I could be trusted.
Why was a plant that grew out of the ground so hard to believe when we had seen symbiotes living in human beings, invisible cities, little men from outer space? But no, Dr. Jackson saying a plant sprang forth from the ground and returned to it was too much to be believed.
I loved Jack, believed in him, trusted him. Why couldn't he do the same for me? Oh, he did at home. He was always different when it was just the two of us, but on a mission, the Colonel took root. I wondered if My Jack understood that while I loved him, I didn't always like the Colonel.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
Jack sat back, slumping down slightly in the leather chair Daniel had purchased when they redecorated the study. It was the most comfortable chair Jack had ever sat in.
"Crazy extravagance," Jack moaned as he turned on the built in massager, letting soothing pulses knead his tense back and shoulders. Jack closed his eyes as he remembered their discussion about buying the chair.
"Danny, we don't need something this expensive."
"I want to buy it for you, Jack. What you do ... what we do is so stressful. This will be great to help you relax."
"There are lots of ways to relax, Daniel, without spending $1700 on a chair."
"I know it's a bit over the top, but ..."
"Over the top? Daniel ... $1700! I can go get a chair at Office Depot that'll work just fine for $45."
Daniel looked deflated, but he didn't back down. Instead, he stood firmly in place and hunkered in with folded arms across his chest to do battle with his lover. This was very important to Daniel, and he would not be deterred. Daniel gathered his resolve, took a deep breath and battled forth.
"But your $45 chair isn't genuine leather, and it doesn't come with a button control that you can adjust to hit your back just right, nor does it tilt to fit what you are working on, AND it doesn't have a massager ... and it comes in blue, Jack."
Jack swore Daniel batted those long eyelashes intentionally, knowing that the old marshmallow better known as Jack O'Neill had a thing about the color blue since Daniel was his own blue-eyed wonder. Jack took a deep breath, not ready to concede just yet.
"Why, Danny?"
"Because I want you ... I want both of us to be comfortable, Jack. I know it's a luxury. I know it's ridiculously priced, and yes, I know you'd be 'happy' with some standard desk chair, but I ... I want to do this, Jack. You deserve to be ...", Daniel blushed slightly before continuing, "pam...pampered. It'll be good for you, Jack. Think of it this way, it'll help you calm down when you want to strangle me."
Jack laughed for a moment remembering Daniel's comment about strangling him and his insistence on buying the chair, and as usual, Daniel had been right.
How many times had Jack been grateful to sit in that comfortable chair and turn on the pulsar action as he read some report or worked on paperwork after a strenuous mission? ... or, he had to concede, when he was ready to thwap his loveable but sometimes annoying lover?
"Too many to count," Jack answered to himself.
It was a crazy way for his lover to spend his salary earned through years of blood, sweat and tears, but Jack had run out arguments and gave in. After all, it's not like Daniel couldn't afford it. His SGC salary was high up on the civilian consultant pay scale. Jack reflected back on his acquiescence.
Approaching his soul mate and cupping his face, caressing the cheeks, "You're a crazy man, Jackson, but you win. Just make sure that blue brings out your eyes like you promised."
"I didn't say that."
"Yes, you did, Daniel, when you batted those lashes. Ah! Ah! You know perfectly well what you did, so I expect you to pay up in full, and that means your body with those baby blue eyes in a matching blue chair."
"But Ja..."
Whatever Daniel was going to say was lost forever. Jack had engaged the man in some high intensity lip lock, followed by a heavy make out session on the stairs, and climaxed by ... well, by a series of climaxes throughout the night in their bedroom.
A few weeks later, Jack walked into the study and saw his soul mate sitting handsomely gift wrapped in a cerulean blue leather chair that made Daniel's eyes incredibly bluer than Jack had ever seen.
"Your present is here, Jack."
Daniel's voice was low and inviting.
Jack's eyes were wide. Daniel was buck naked in the chair with a large blue ribbon wrapped around him, with a bow no less.
Jack swooped in, unwrapped his present from the gods for another night of mind-blowing sex.
Just as Daniel was about to drift off to sleep, Jack asked, "Umm, Danny, has the chair for the study arrived yet?"
Daniel's response was a tight squeeze of Jack's most sensitive private part, and he didn't let go.
"What did you say, Jack?"
Jack swallowed, "I said, the chair in the study looks great, Danny. Tha...Thank you."
With a Cheshire grin, Daniel released his grip, and said softly as he once again closed his eyes, "That's what I thought you said, and you're welcome."
His heart was full of happiness at the thought of Daniel, the chair and their night of passion.
Jack chuckled as he thought silently, "I never did ask you, Danny, how you managed to wrap yourself in that bow."
Jack's smile fainted, however, as a glance at the computer screen brought him back to present, reminding him why he had slumped back into the chair a few minutes before, and then a frown pierced Jack's face.
Daniel had thought that Jack hadn't believe him, that he had to prove himself, over and over again. Jack clasped his hands together and threw his head back into the chair, and grunted from frustration.
Daniel's observation was right, to an extent, but it wasn't that Jack hadn't believe him. To the contrary, when Daniel spoke, Jack knew he was probably right about whatever the subject was. It was actually annoying to be in love with someone who was most always right about most everything.
"Annoying?," Jack laughed.
He loved that annoying geek to the ends of the earth, and would never want him to change.
The older man went in search of Daniel and found him puttering in the kitchen.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself. We need to go shopping, Jack. We've been gone so much lately that we're low on just about everything. We'll have to eat Froot Loops for dinner if we don't drop by the supermarket this afternoon."
"I noticed that."
Jack was leaning against the counter, hands in his pockets, looking down at the kitchen floor.
"What's wrong, Jack?"
Daniel put down the pad and paper he had been using to prepare a shopping list, and turned so that he was facing Jack.
"I'm sorry, Danny. I never realized how ... how much what I said, or did ..."
Jack's voice trailed off. He knew what he felt in his heart; he just didn't know how to express himself to his lover. He temporarily solved his dilemma by closing the gap between Daniel and himself, and pulling the man into a warm embrace.
"I love you, Danny, and in case I haven't said it lately, I respect you, and even though it still annoys me, you're almost always right about things."
Jack continued to hold his lover and said softly against his neck, "I always believed in you, even when I didn't show it. I'm just ... stubborn."
Daniel had tried to back away slightly, but Jack wouldn't let him, choosing to continue his admission.
"It was me, Daniel. I was the leader, the CO, and it was my job not to make mistakes. I was responsible for you, and Carter and Teal'c, and anyone we came into contact with who were affected by us. Daniel, your mind, it operates on hyper speed. Your faster than all of us put together. You get to Point C before the rest of us have gotten to Point B.
"Danny, I remember when we found the kid, the baby Shifu, and you told me to put down the weapons, and afterwards, you were upset because I didn't give the order until after Bra'tac and the others had weighed in on the issue, but don't you see, Danny, it's the same thing. You were there, at that third point when we were still standing in the middle?"
Jack finally pulled back, not releasing his lover, but making it so they could look at each other. Jack kept one hand on Daniel's back, caressing, and moved his right hand to stroke the man's smooth cheek.
"Your smart, way smarter than me, Daniel, and you have to remember I need more time to process, to ... catch up with you. I'm so sorry, Love, that sometimes it looked like I didn't believe you."
Jack kissed Daniel tenderly, then leaned his forehead so he was touching Daniel's, mirroring their pose by the bookshelf earlier that day.
"It's okay, Jack. I understand."
"It's important, Daniel."
Daniel smiled that special smile reserved only for Jack.
"I know, and I mean it, Jack. Sometimes I forget, too, because you play that dumb Colonel role so well, but I do ... understand ... now."
"But you didn't back on 445 with those naked aliens, did you?"
"No," Daniel shyly admitted, "but I know now."
The two lovers kissed passionately before separating. Daniel returned to his shopping list as he asked, "So, did you finish the diary?"
"No, I stopped when I read about the plant thing. I needed to talk to you, and I didn't want it to wait."
Daniel's heart warmed knowing Jack had understood, finally, how hard it had been for Daniel in those days. It also meant more to him than he could say that his lover made it a point to make sure Daniel understood that everything wasn't how it seemed. Sometimes, for a genius, Daniel didn't always pick up on the little things.
"I love you, Jack."
"Me, too!"
Deciding he'd prefer to be with his lover than finish the grocery list, Daniel grabbed Jack's arm and tugged gently, "C'mon, let's go back to the study and you can finish the entry while I read a book."
Jack put his left arm around Daniel's waist as they walked and, recalling what he'd already read in the computer diary, decided to seize the moment.
"Oh, Danny, about those conversations you had with dogs."
"Jaaaaaack!"
"Seriously, Daniel, I want to know all about it."
"Sure you do," Daniel spoke sarcastically.
"I am in such trouble," Daniel thought to himself.
Jack halted as they neared the door to the study, and turned his lover to face him, holding him in his arms.
"I want to know everything about you, and that includes your dogs."
"I ... I never had a dog, Jack."
"Never?"
Daniel tried to push back from the embrace and turned his head towards the study, but Jack held on.
"Ah, Danny, every kid should have a dog. It's a rule you know."
Daniel laughed and looked into Jack's eyes.
"That's what you said to Cassie that day at the park. I thought Sam was going to burst when she saw you walk over with the dog."
"Carter thinks that all a kid needs is a Major Matt Mason doll."
Jack's look became serious and full of regret, and he brought his right hand up to caress Daniel's cheek.
"You should have had a dog, Daniel."
There was so much said in those seven words. Daniel was misty-eyed, but didn't cry. Jack continued his caress as the two stood, silently melancholy over a history they couldn't change, a history of an orphaned genius, abandoned by his grandfather, passed from home to home, always being on the outside, never fitting in.
The regret of Charlie Brown Christmases and uncelebrated birthdays, the little boy giving but rarely receiving, flooded their minds.
Jack pictured the boy in his mind, his Daniel alone, scared, building those layers and layers of walls that would shield him as an adult from pain, walls it had taken Jack years to tear down.
"He should have had a dog," Jack thought silently. "Right, O'Neill, to have a dog would mean he would have had a home, and he never had one of those until ..."
Jack's inward conversation with himself was interrupted when he found himself being kissed.
"How'd I miss that coming," Jack laughed inwardly.
"We're supposed to be reading, not ... not ..."
"... thinking about things we can't change no matter how much we wish we could ... and would in a heartbeat, for you, Danny."
"I know, but I ... I wouldn't change anything, Jack, be...because if I did, then maybe we ... we might not even have met, Jack, and I can't imagine not being here with you, and I ... I would never do anything to jeopardize our lives together, even if I could magically ... have had a dog."
"... and your parents, Love," Jack said silently.
Jack would hate it, but he'd walk away from Daniel this second if he could give back to that lost little boy his parents, a home, and a dog. Daniel should have had what Jack had, a happy childhood with friends and happy memories, not nightmares such as those that haunted the young man.
"Jack?"
"I'm sorry, Daniel, just lost in my thoughts. So, tell me about this dog," Jack cajoled as he motioned for the them to enter the study.
"Forget about the dog, Jack."
"Nope, tell me, Dr. Jackson, you know you will, so why wait?"
Daniel perused the bookshelves, trying to decide what to read while Jack finished reading about their experiences on PJ2-445. Jack was leaning against the desk "Daniel watching."
"Jack, I'm not going to tell you so just sit down and finish the diary," Daniel said as he pulled his novel of choice from the shelf and plopped down on to the sofa.
He arranged the powder blue cushion behind his head, and wiggled his butt as he got his prone body comfortable.
"No, Jack. Go Read."
Jack was still "Daniel watching", and the linguist was getting nervous. He did his best to ignore Jack, sticking the book in front of his face and starting to read. He actually made it through three paragraphs before the silver haired fox pounced on his prey, sitting over the younger man.
"I warned you, Daniel. Start talking. Did the dog actually speak to you?," Jack smirked as he began his tickling assault.
One of Jack O'Neill's most pleasant discoveries in his exploration of Daniel Jackson's body during their first night together was that his Space Monkey was ticklish, certifiably ticklish.
"Nooooo, Jaaa...k. Don... Ja..."
Daniel didn't stand a chance. Pushing Daniel's burgundy shirt up so that his abdomen was exposed, Jack began his attack just above Daniel's belly button, which Jack knew was especially sensitive, and worked his way upward.
"C'mon, Babe, out with it. I can do this all afternoon."
Jack's fingers were kneading, scratching, running over Daniel's torso, and the young man was howling in a mixture of unabashed hysteria and tears, squirming and thrashing as he attempted to fight off his Colonel, the book having been dropped to the floor in the process.
"Alllll...right... Jack...stttttttop," Daniel said, taking a deep breath as Jack relaxed his motions.
Jack didn't move, choosing to keep his place to make sure Daniel followed through. Of course, Daniel's well built physique couldn't go to waste so Jack switched to a light massaging to help calm the still settling convulsions from Daniel's laughing spell.
"So, tell me all about it," Jack said as he rubbed the smooth skin of his lover.
"It was right before I met Catherine, actually. I was feeling down and unsure. I was ... at about the lowest point ... well, one of them anyway. I was lost in my thoughts, sitting on the library steps when this mutt walked by. She was scruffy, looked lost, like ...
"You?"
"Yeah, I guess so. I called out and she came over and we ..."
"Talked?"
Daniel laughed, "Yes, in a manner of speaking. I laughed at myself, sitting there talking out loud to this dog, but at the time, it seemed ... normal enough. She didn't have a collar, and looked hungry. I ... I gave her part of a candy bar I had in my pocket; actually, she ate the entire thing except ..."
"Daniel, you fed chocolate to a dog?"
"What's wrong with that?"
Jack sighed.
"Danny, chocolate can be poisonous to a dog. Never feed chocolate to a dog, no matter how much they beg for it. It may be okay for you to be addicted to it, but chocolate contains caffeine and theobromine, and for canines, that's often deadly."
"I ... I didn't know that, Jack."
Daniel spoke sadly, and then with alarm, "Jack, you don't think ..."
"No, Danny, I'm sure she's fine. Normally, there isn't enough caffeine or theobromine in a candy bar to be lethal, and she probably vomited later. Most do. It's just not a good idea to feed chocolate, any kind, to a dog. Even if it doesn't kill the dog, it might cause dehydration or kidney failure."
"I had no idea, Jack, or I never would have. Jack, are you sure she's all right?"
Jack leaned in and kissed his worrying lover, before changing positions so that he was lying against the back of the sofa, scooping Daniel into him. Daniel nuzzled into Jack contently, needing the comfort from his worries.
"How big was she?"
"Average size ... you know, a mutt."
"And how long were you were with her?"
"Quite a while, actually. She ... we talked a lot and ... played in a field for a while ... and talked some more."
"Then I'm sure she was fine. So tell me, Daniel, what did you two say to each other?"
"She was worried about me. We were friends, after the candy bar and I ... we went on a dig together."
"A dig?"
"Well, yeah, I helped her unbury a stick."
Jack laughed, and began stroking Daniel's silky fine hair.
"So you were pals ... ate, dug, and played together?"
Daniel laughed heartily.
"Something like that. I remember her ... support ..."
//Flashback relayed to Jack//
"Thank you for listening. You're the best audience I've ever had ... at least you stayed." He climbed to his feet and lifted up his belongings. "I hope you find someone to take care of you."
"Woof, woof," the dog replied, but it started to whine.
"Oh, I'll be okay. It'll be good just to be somewhere that doesn't rain so much ... and if L.A. doesn't work out, I'm gonna go back to Egypt ... somehow. I miss the desert."
"Woof?" the animal seemed to ask.
"No." Daniel laughed. "You can't come there with me either ... and thanks for the vote of confidence by the way."
The dog grumbled deep in its throat.
"Yeah, you're probably right ... but I've got to try one more time."
//Flashback ends//
"I'm glad you didn't give up, Danny."
"Well what could I do ... abandon my last chance to be with ... a mutt?"
"After all, look where you ended up."
"Yeah, with a bigger mutt," Daniel snickered into Jack's shoulder.
"Watch it, Jackson. He who laughs last and all of that."
Daniel transitioned from laughter to quiet.
"Y'know, Jack, part of me hated to leave her. She was still alone. It felt a little like I had abandoned her, and I had just met her, but ... you can laugh at me if you want, Jack, but it felt like we ... connected."
But Jack didn't laugh. He kissed Daniel's head, and spoke seriously, "I'd never laugh at you, Daniel, and you know how I feel about dogs. Some of my best friends have been dogs."
"Man's best friend."
"Next to you, Love. Okay, I'd better finish reading this diary thing or we'll be eating dinner at midnight."
Planting a parting kiss on Daniel's lips, Jack gently disentangled himself from Daniel and took his seat in front of the computer.
Daniel picked up his book and readjusted his position on the sofa to be comfortable, but he missed Jack's warmth.
"Jack?"
"Hmm?
"I feel like such a sap."
"A sap? Why?"
"Because you've been sitting over there not more than sixty seconds and ... I miss you. It's ... cold ... alone ... way over here ... and ... I love you, that's why."
Jack's heart was singing, but his stomach was growling, and if he succumbed to his body's desire to warm up his lover, he'd probably starve.
"I love you, Sappy Boy, and I'll get you plenty warm tonight ... after dinner."
"Promises, promises," Daniel said dejectedly, finally opening his book.
Jack decided it was best to ignore Daniel and refocus on the mission diary, for the sake of his food deprived stomach.
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
A while later, I decided to videotape the plant, hoping to catch it growing. Jack was in one of the huts trying to communicate with the aliens, but had no luck, which made him crankier than he had already been.
"Why aren't you helping me?," he snapped, before turning his venom on my videotape project.
"Well, I think this might be important," I defended.
Jack mocked, "I think you might be losing what's left of your mind," adding in a very accusing tone, "on a good you can be a little flaky."
I wasn't going to take that calmly so I struck back with, "And on a good day you can be a little ignorant and condescending."
"Not condescending. You're obviously misreading a basic philosophical difference of opinion on how to handle a crisis."
"Oh please, we have a difference of opinion on just about everything."
"Give me an example."
"I don't know, pick something. How about mythology?"
"Rumors. Lies. Fairytales."
"Ya See! See! See! See! See!"
I was so aggravated by this man I loved who could frustrate me like no other living creature that I actually hopped up and down from the absurdity of his behavior, finally blurting out, "Mythology is one of the primary motivations for cultural development."
"Maybe it is. What does that have to do with filming a plant?," Jack barked.
I proved once again that I was a genius with my stellar reply, spoken with conviction -- "Exactly."
Jack asked for clarification and I gave him another response that was equally in synch with my level of intelligence at the moment -- "I don't know!"
We weren't acting normally, and we both knew it. The question was why, when there was no motivation for it. Why were the smallest of things causing us to be at each other's throats, and not in our normal tongue wrestling way?
"Maybe we're getting whatever they have," I said to Jack.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
Jack had tried to hold back his laughter, but he couldn't do it any longer.
"Ah, Danny, you were so cute."
Daniel set up, dismayed at the guffawing coming from his lover. He knew he should never have written about PJ2-445.
Putting aside the believability issue, Daniel concentrated on the ridiculous. First, there was the stuff about the plane, and then the dog, and now this, the cute factor.
Daniel was in no mood for more teasing, so when he responded, his tone was sharp, focused, and as serious sounding as he could make it. He was, after all, not cute, and he was not going to let Jack claim otherwise. Besides, why was Jack reading that darn diary when Daniel wanted Jack to keep him ... warm ... and ... other things?
"Cute? Jack you're reading one of my computer entries about a mission and you start laughing and say I was ... cute? That's not very professional of you, Colonel O'Neill."
Jack ignored the younger man's challenging tone. Daniel was no match for him today. Jack was feeling young and invincible, both the result of the love and affection given to him by the man he now teased relentlessly.
"Sorry, Babe, but truth is truth. Videotaping a plant? C'mon, it was kinda funny."
"It was not funny, Jack, and what does funny have to do with me being cute ... or not."
"Daniel, you should have seen yourself doing that little ... um, dance. You were so wound up, frazzled, and you went dancing around that planet like a spinning top."
"I was not dancing, Jack, nor was I ... frazzled ... and I am not some children's toy."
Jack's laughter changed in a flash to one of the proverbial dirty old man. Ignoring his grumbling stomach, Jack rose from his chair and went to the sofa, sitting down next to the pouting linguist. He placed his left arm around the young man's shoulders and used his right hand to turn Daniel's head so that they were looking at each other.
"You were, too, cute, Daniel, and you're cute right now. You're also beautiful, more beautiful than anything I've ever seen, and," Jack paused to place a kiss on his lover's nape, "while you are definitely not a children's toy, what you do to me ..."
"Jack," Daniel let out an shy chuckle, turning a deep shade of red, too, as he blushed.
Somehow, intimate talk still embarrassed him, especially when he was the subject. He still marveled at his luck that Jack loved him and with such lust. Daniel was feeling warm again and that meant it was difficult to keep up his act of being miffed by Jack's teasing.
"I love you, Danny."
"Why fight it?," Daniel thought silently. "I love you, too, Jack."
Daniel sighed, "We're such saps, Jack, sickening sweet sometimes."
"Is that a complaint?"
"No, just an observation. I am a scientist, you know."
Jack drew his love closer, and kissed him, sending shivers down both of them. The love they felt in their hearts equaled by the longing and passion of their bodies was pressing them to each other like magnets to metal.
Their passion was interrupted when Jack's stomach spoke up again, causing Daniel to laugh. We really do need to go shopping, Jack, or your stomach is going to rebel and personally, I don't want to be present when it was does."
"Sometimes you lack a sense of true adventure, Daniel."
"I think we've both had our share of adventure, Colonel O'Neill," Daniel spoke as the lovebirds continued their quest to sliver inside the other. Realizing if they didn't stop now, they wouldn't, Daniel pulled back, placing the palm of his hand over his Colonel's heart.
"You're supposed to be reading, Jack, so get back to it so we can get the dang groceries, fix your dang supper so your dang stomach will shut up, and then," Daniel paused as he seductively glided his hand down to Jack's "little Colonel" and pressed gently, "you can keep your promise."
"You're a slave driver, Daniel."
"Just as long as you are my slave. Now go back where you were and continue reading about ..."
"... about how cute and adorable you were when you did that little dance?"
"Jack, mention the word "cute" to me again and you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight ... alone."
"But you'd be cold."
"I'll ... I'll get a dog."
Jack chuckled, gave his lover one more kiss, and then returned to his seat at the desk, refocusing his attention to the computer diary Daniel had written during the past week.
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//
Jack decided we should return to the SGC and have Janet check us over since we both had headaches and were easily agitated. Teal'c remained on the planet.
It was a long grueling walk to the Stargate, about ten miles, in a sweltering sun. The longer we walked, the more nauseous I felt.
Jack and I sniped and bellowed at each other the entire way. It was childish banter that made no sense and achieved nothing but make us sound like those spoiled kids in that Willy Wonka movie Jack made me watch once.
Then, I stunned us both by doing the unexpected.
"Daniel, I wish you would be a little more tolerant like we grown ups are."
"And I wish you'd be a little more open-minded like we adults are."
"I am, Daniel, when presented with rational, intelligent opinions and not flaky misconceptions."
I decked him. I actually turned and hit My Jack squarely on the jaw, causing him to fall back onto the ground with a thud. I've never seen Jack O'Neill look as shocked as he did in that moment. I was pretty stunned myself. In an unreasonable, illogical moment of emotion, I slugged my lover, and it felt ... good.
And just as fast as Jack hit the ground, and my moment of "that was great" flashed through my mind, I was consumed with guilt, not from hitting Jack, but because I enjoyed it.
I was in a no-win situation. I wanted to run, but in the first place, there was nowhere to run to, and in the second place, my headache was worse and I thought I was going to throw up at any moment.
Jack quietly stood up, stared blankly into my eyes, and said only, "Let's get to back to the Stargate, Daniel."
He set a quick pace, and I had to hurry to follow, which wasn't easy to do considering how I felt physically. My Colonel still loved me, but at that moment, I was not his favorite person.
Back at the SGC, Janet gave us a thorough checkup. We had to be ill; it was the only explanation. Jack and I both spoke at the same time, jumbled words of apology, half in unison, our brains united just as our hearts are, "It's obvious there's something wrong with us physically."
We were confident. We were also wrong. Janet gave us a clean bill of health, and my lover and I were left sitting on the infirmary bed, stunned at first, and then solemn.
"Danny, there's an explanation. We'll figure it out."
"What if there isn't, Jack? What if ... what if it's just ... us?"
"No, Daniel, there has to be a cause for this. I ... nothing's changed for me. I feel the same way ... about ... you ... us."
"Me, too."
"Okay, then we find the reason."
Jack gave his beautiful Irish smile that launches the butterflies in my stomach, and I was reassured that as always, Jack and Daniel are forever.
Eventually, we realized that the sounds of the plants on 445 were vital to the health of the inhabitants. During our stay, we had been convinced that we were at fault for the sickness afflicting the aliens. I had sneezed, lubricant from the UAV made contact with one of them ... our list went on and on of ways we could have infected them.
Jack had followed me to my office and I started snipping at him again, yelling that we were responsible and had to do something. I realized my headache was back, and that's what finally lead us to make the connection. The sounds from the plants were inaudible to normal hearing but were present on the videotape I had brought back from the planet.
The noise agitated us, and with this, we finally deduced that when the UAV crashed, it injured the plants, distorting the naturally transmitted sound, and causing the aliens to become sick. Fortunately, Sam was able to devise a system to restore the plant's sounds to their normal frequency by leaving a set of emitters on the planet.
It was another happy ending for SG-1, at least for the aliens and the record keepers.
Back on Earth, I took refuge in my office. I didn't really want to be there, but I still felt guilty. It's not every day I go around hitting people, especially the man who holds the key to my heart. We had been reminded by our experience on PJ2-445 that life is often held in a fragile balance, and often times by forces we can't see.
I felt vulnerable that I had lost control, had allowed myself to become a victim, giving in to petty annoyances and nonsensical bickering that was usually a source of amusement for Jack and I. I was getting more frustrated by the minute at my failure, when Jack entered, without knocking, as usual.
"Danny, it's time to go home."
"Actually, Jack, I thought I'd stay and work on these translations from ..."
My lover didn't let me finish. Before I could react, he had me in his arms, devouring my mouth. It was a good thing the security camera in my office was off at the moment.
"Home, Dr. Jackson. Now."
Who was I to argue? I still felt guilty; as I write this diary entry, years later, I realize I still do. I can fight when I have to, but I'm not military, and I don't believe in violence for the sake of violence. Hitting Jack was something I've never been able to put out of my mind for long. He's probably forgotten all about it by now, but I can't.
My reason for writing about PJ2-445 is not the bickering or my guilt, but the reminder that as human beings we have a responsibility to be compassionate, to care, to remember that we touch and affect the people and places we come into contact with. Sometimes that connection is tangible and obvious from the start, and at other times, such as on PJ2-445, the tie that binded them, and us, was something we couldn't see and was underneath the surface.
We need to walk with care through the galaxy, and through our daily lives, to make sure we keep focused and in harmony with our true functions. After all, it would only take one false step to destroy a love, a life, or a world.
//End of Daniel's Diary//
"One false step? That's what you said that day, in your office."
"It's true, Jack."
Jack rose and once again went over to sit by his lover on the sofa.
"We've taken a few of those false steps in our relationship."
"Tiny ones ... Sometimes."
The two men held hands as they sat, momentarily lost in individual thoughts.
"Hey Danny," Jack spoke with a grin, "if you really still feel guilty about hitting me that day, we could level the playing field. You know, tit for tat. I get ... satisfaction and you get rid of your guilt. It's a great idea. You hit me, so now it's my turn to play, to even the score."
"Jaaa..."
Daniel was silenced as Jack's lips took his, Jack's tongue battled his, and Jack's body was fusing into his. Daniel's last coherent thought was that if this was Jack's idea of evening the score, he'd be happy to play every night, and tomorrow, they really were going to have to go grocery shopping.
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~
