A Whole Lot of Crazy!

Summary: What do you get when you have Harry Potter in St. Louis and Anita Blake and Meredith Gentry are there as well? A whole lot of strange……

Warnings: Contains slash, femslash, and het, some swearing

For Liza…you so owe me for this….

Key: Flash backs in 3rd pov, thoughts /blah/, alternate speech (phone) blah, twins at same time (blah, blah)

CHAPTER 1

17 years old and I had already dealt with war. I had fled from both England and the Wizarding World after the defeat of old Voldy and after the betrayal of some I saw as family. Ron and Hermione, my best friends, had been paid to be so. Dumbledore, who had fallen to Bellatrix AK, had manipulated my entire life. My only consolation, and my saving grace, was that the other Weasely's were true to me. So, at the end of the final battle, surprisingly less dramatic than I thought it would be, I had confronted the dastardly duo.

~ Flashback (cue the sparkles) ~

Harry looked around the once beautiful grounds of Hogwarts. It had become a battlefield drenched in the blood of enemies and friends. His gaze fell on Ginny, his little sort of sister, as she stood over the fallen Bellatrix. She glanced at Harry and grinned, "Took forever to get her to die. She just wouldn't stay down." Harry smiled and nodded his approval. He looked back to the lifeless husk in front of him. Voldemort had finally fallen when his own AK had once again rebounded off of Harry. Even if he didn't know it, Voldy's magic would never allow him to destroy his own Horcrux. Once Harry had destroyed the others the one within Harry merged with him for self preservation. There was now no chance of Snake-mans return. Harry lurched to his feet and stumbled in the direction of the castle, accepting slaps on the back and handshakes as the celebration had begun. Sirius sprung up, pulling him into a rough hug.

"Well done little shade, well done!" His grin stretched from ear to ear even as Remus pushed him out of the way.

"I got shade," he whispered into Harry's neck as he pulled him up into a hug. "I finally got Greyback!" He let Harry go and he let out"oomph" as he landed on his feet.

"So, what's next for the boy wonder?" Sirius asked.

Harry glanced around and lowered his voice. "First I'm going to handle the arse-holes, then I'm port-keying you, your lover", Remus blushed and Sirius chuckled, "myself and the twins to America. They magical world has already ousted itself to the muggles. All but we Wizards are known. I have already transferred my Gringotts accounts to its sister branch and purchased a home."

Sirius smiled. "Awesome …… but why the twins?" Harry smiled back before answering, "They're afraid of what they'll do to Ron and 'Mione if they stick around."

"I get that." Remus said, "But it would probably be hilarious to watch."

"Yeah." Harry said distractedly, his attention caught by something or someone else. "I gotta go get this done." He continued his walk toward the castle. He saw them running to him. He took and a deep breath as the gushed over before letting it out slowly. His eyes hardened.

"Shut up, traitors." He spat venomously. Everything was silent as if someone had put up a giant Silencio. Everyone turned toward the three and Ron and Hermione stared at him in shock.

"What are you talking' about harry?" Ron asked, his voice shaking.

"You know exactly what I mean." His voice took on a sibilant his. "You befriend poor abused Harry and what do you get in return. Not only a boy who would give his life for yours, you also get 50 Galleons a month from his own vault."

The gasps echoed across the lawns. "I don't understand Harry."

"Your greed Hermione, your inability to think of anyone but yourselves, and the end of our friendship." He turned, grabbing Sirius and Remus by the hands. As they walked away he threw a spiteful "And next time, make sure no one's around before you spill your secrets out in the hall."

He continued to move to wear the twins stood with Neville holding the tennis ball turned port-key.

"Hey Nev, what's up?" Harry asked.

"Can I come with you? I have no one left alive here." The scars left from the Carrows stood out like proud badges of honor.

"No problem" Harry smiled. They all placed a finger on the ball and Fred called out the password "Freedom!" and they were whisked out of Scotland and to a brand new life.

~ END FLASHBACK (bye bye sparkles) ~

I still, even 5 months later, couldn't believe it had ended so easily. Suddenly the silence of the kitchen was broken by Sirius running in laughing while being chased by a pink haired Remus. I laughed as the twins appeared on either side of me grinning. Neville slunk in behind Remus chuckling. I looked from one twin to the other. "Did you have anything to do with this?" I asked.

"Nope, this was all, Sirius." I groaned. They were starting the twin thing again.

"Hey Harry?", "Yeah Nev?", "What are we gonna do while were here?"

The others looked at me and I thought about it. We had moved to St. Louis where one of the most famous Master Vampires was. I had heard that the master Jean-Claude and his people were having problems with the Mother of all Darkness. I had also recently found out that Princess Meredith of the Unseelie court was here after running from some bad ass fae-killers.

"I was thinking, why don't we offer our services to the Master of the City and to the Fae Princess." They all looked to be thinking it over. Remus sat down across from me and everyone else pulled up their own seats at the table.

"If we do this…," He said gravely. "If we do this we become a part of the Wizarding world again. We'll be putting ourselves out there and risking betrayal and the safety you fought so hard to gain for us."

I understood what he was saying. I could run that risk but I didn't care. The world was still important to me. It was too precious to be left to the whims of a psychotic old bitch.

"Look, we have a choice here. We can ignore the vamps, shape shifters, and the fae, but we won't be able to ignore the deaths that will come of it." I think this is what got their agreement. I had not shown such interest in anything since my rival turned love of my life Draco gad been killed, two weeks before I had found out about Ron and Hermione's betrayal. And then two day later had been the final battle.

"Okay" Sirius conceded first. "Call them and schedule a meet with both of them, at the same time. We will explain who we are and we will offer our help…But," here he looked me dead in the eye, index pointed at my heart. "If they deny our help and turn us away, you bury that hero-complex and we leave it alone. We don't step in until the fight hits to close to home."

The others nodded their agreement, my own included. I rose from my seat and walked down a hall to my office. Off all the floors in the house this one, the second floor, was mine. The others remained behind in the kitchen. I sat down and stared at my desktop for a moment. /Am I doing the right thing? / I thought. /Should I involve us in another battle? / I took a quick breath and reached for the phone. I quickly punched in the number and waited for the pickup.

"Circus of the Damned, Justin speaking." a smooth male voice answered over the line.

"Yes, I need to speak to your Master."

"What for?"

"I have an idea about how to rid of the Mother…."

(TO BE CONTINUED)