Welcome to my newest story. I loved the Pink Panther Steve Martin movies and thought Pirates Band of Misfits was pretty good. So, I thought this and The Pirate Captain and Inspector Clouseau made this story a good idea. Enjoy.

It was a perfect day for a murder. The Pirate King was throwing a pirate formal party to celebrate his newest belt buckle: the most expensive ever made. I say pirate formal because their idea of formal is to wear a bowtie. Some of the pirates in attendance are The Pirate Captain and his crew, excluding the Albino Pirate who, unfortunately, ate a bad ham and was having stomach pains, Black Bellamy, Cutlass Liz, and Peg Leg Hastings. Sure, there were other pirates there, but those were the important ones. Unfortunately, there was a traitor among those pirates. But, we'll get back to that. Meanwhile, a voice came up from the ceiling and said, "Ladies and gentlepirates, welcome to this event. Please look up to the stage at your Pirate King." The Pirate King then came up on stage and roared, "Hello lubbers!" The pirates in attendance roared back. "You all came here tonight to see my newest belt buckle," The Pirate King roared, "Except one of you, who is here to get cured of Lubberbatosis. You know who you are." The Pirate Who Likes Sunsets And Kittens weirdly blushed when he said that. "Well," The Pirate King roared, "Here it is!" A lackey of The Pirate king then brought out the new belt buckle: a fist with diamonds on the brass knuckles. All of the other pirates gasped in awe at the buckle. "It is the most valuable belt buckle ever made, "The Pirate King roared. He then put it on in place of his old belt buckle. "I would kill for a belt buckle like that," Black Bellamy murmured. "The Albino Pirate would really like this," The Pirate Captain observed, "Since it's shiny." But then, with no warning, a dart was fired from an unknown spot in the crowd and hit The Pirate King right in the neck. He then collapsed, dead. The crowd of pirates rushed towards him and excavated him. They noticed that he wasn't alive. They noticed that the thumping thingy in his chest stopped thumping. But, one thing they didn't notice until later, the belt buckle was gone. The next day, some of the Pirate King's lackeys met with the one pirate they thought could help: The Pirate Captain. "Now," The Pirate Captain asked, "This is an urgent time. What should we do?" "Obviously," Lackey#1 responded, "It's ham time." The lackeys then gave ham to themselves and The Pirate Captain. "OK," The Pirate Captain stated, "Seriously, we should discuss the Pirate King." "Well," Lackey#1 responded, "Our main concern right now is to find the Pirate King's belt buckle. I know that he would like it to be buried with him." "Wow," the Pirate Captain praised himself, "This is an honour. Doing a job for the Pirate King." "Oh no," Lackey#1 replied, "We actually wanted to know if you knew anybody." "Oh," the Pirate Captain responded, "Well, believe it or not, I actually know a detective. I met him on an adventure of mine in France. I broke into a kitchen and poured hot soup all over everybody. Meanwhile, my crew hit French people with baguettes." "Get to the point," Lackey#1 replied. "I got so drunk on French wine that I punched Number Two right in the face," The Pirate Captain remembered. "Can we please get to the detective now," Lackey#1 asked. "Yes," the Pirate Captain replied, "Of course. The detective. His name is Jacques Clouseau."

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