Bobby speaks out about what was in the bag at the end of "Person of Interest" and the disappearance of his original monologue regarding its contents. (With apologies to British fans of LOCI). New verses added.
Disclaimer:
The characters Bobby Goren and Alex Eames from Law & Order: Criminal Intent belong to Dick Wolf and his colleagues. No copyright infringement is intended.Rated PG-13just in case.
Bobby's POV after the season 2 finale. For those of you who have yet to see the episode Bobby brings a bag of scones to the office and passes them along to his colleagues after announcing that he personally is "done" with Nichole Wallace/ Elizabeth Hitchens.
Must I atone
For buying those scones?
You were right Alex dear
They don't go well with beer
They sit in my tummy like a stone.
I used to bemoan
Not having tasted a scone
Now I've tried them I fear
That unlike their beer
British baked goods are best left alone
~~~~~~~~~~
TPTB at ff.net considered the original submission consisting of the above an infraction for some reason and removed it from this site. Since they failed to explain why, despite repeated inquires to various e-mail addresses, the following is an experiment on the part of Bobby Goren to determine if the problem with the original piece was its length, its title, its rating, its subject matter or some unknown factor. Apart from subject matter, most of those things have been altered.
~~~~~~~~~~
(more Bobby POV)
As I sit here alone
Just me and a sc0ne
I'm looking to eat
A right tasty treat
Quick! Let me get to a phone!
Sc0nes are too pasty white
With no icing in sight
It's not much of a treat
Neither sour nor sweet
A pickle chaser might just make things right!
I've been told in the UK
They consume sc0nes every day
With clotted cream and tea
How CAN that be?
Poor people! That's all I can say
It would be doin' a good turn
To let that pastry shop burn
On their unscheduled break
Chefs would learn to bake cake
So their sc0nes wouldn't be of concern.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh dear! I've been caught
City one: Bobby naught
The mayor has rules did ya know?
Against slandering dough
A warning would have helped me a lot!
My poem's an infraction?
And hence its subtraction?
At my behest
Deak's made several requests
But no answer to provide satisfaction!
Arrest me now, Copper!
I've come up a cropper
I'll abandon this rhyme
To avoid federal time
Wouldn't that be a real eye-popper?
I fail to see how my action
Constituted an infraction
My poem had too few words?
That is just for the birds!
Brevity was its major attraction.
An explanation even lamer
Would be I forgot the disclaimer
Or my English was improper?
Now there'd be a TOPPER!
This is getting insaner and insaner!
I don't mean to harangue
Help me here gang!
It's possible you know
Since I was young long ago
I accidentally used some rude modern slang?
Eames and I have been debating
Might it be the G rating?
It's not like kids don't see
Me drink beer on tv
Could the ice be that THIN where I'm skating?
Unlesscould THAT be it ?
Did I upset some poor Brit
With an affection for scones?
How COULD I have known?
It was funny from the place where I sit!
Au note: daf9 personally likes scones, ESPECIALLY with clotted cream and tea.
