This may quite possibly be the weirdest thing I have written...okay, that's a lie XD
I blame my brother for this...He asked me what the Joker does in Arkham when he's not breaking out, and me being the awesomest older sister, wrote him a fanfiction!
So, ONWARDS!
Disclaimer: I do not own Batman, or anything Batman related...well...I do own clothing...and posters...and a bracelet...but that's beside the point...
It wasn't the strangest thing that had ever happened in Arkham. Much weirder things had occurred within the walls of the famous Asylum, but this was still a sight for the on duty guards and the few wandering doctors.
Mr. Zsasz—the serial killer—and the Joker—the Clown Prince of Crime—sitting in a room. Together. Not killing anyone. With a flip chart and white board.
The Joker had apparently asked Zsasz to teach him about the human body's anatomy, and Zsasz was complying.
Arkham's guards were baffled by this sight, not really knowing what to think about it, or if they should stop it. What harm could the crazed clown do with his new education? I mean, getting an education is good, right?
An annoyed look crossed the serial killer's face as the clown cackled his crazed laugh for the hundredth time that hour. If the guards could hear what was going on in that room, they would hear this:
"You stupid clown! Why did I agree to this?!" An accented voice yelled out in the closed off room. The man really wanted to run out the room every time the other man cackled, but the door was piled high with chairs and tables.
"You think I'm stupid, old man? You're the one who doesn't know how to take a joke!" The Joker's face was still for a second before it erupted into a menacing looking grin. A personal record for him. The bald man face palmed at the green haired man, gave a longing look at the sealed door, sighed, and pointed back at the flip chart.
"May we please continue before I feel the need to free you from this terrible world?"
"I suppose we could. I have a break-out scheduled for later tonight. And this information would be very helpful!"
Zsasz rolled his eyes at the Joker, and started naming all the body's organs, from top to bottom. That is, until he was interrupted by the mad man. Again.
"Zsaszy, old boy! Let's talk tactics! What would be the most effective way to kill someone?" Joker, on his part, sat cross-legged on the cold concrete floor, looking every part like a good little school boy. I mean, if you look past the white face, stretched blood red lips, and homicidal tenancies, that is.
"Joker, if you want to know the human anatomy, I would suggest you SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY FREAKING LECTURE, or I swear to GOD, I WILL REMOVE YOU FROM YOUR MISERABLE SO-CALLED-LIFE!" And the horrifically scared man finally lost his cool.
"Well if you wanted me to stop talking, you could have just asked!" The Joker looked extremely insulted by Zsasz's outburst.
"That is it! I QUIT! I will no longer be your—or anyone else—teacher ever again!" He yelled, throwing the white board, with a crudely drawn heart labelled from right ventricle to left atrium, onto the floor, narrowly missing the Joker's head on the way down. Zsasz went on a rampage through the tiny room, alerting the guards. But they did nothing, because, it's the Joker! Who cares if a killer kills another killer? Well, Batman might mind, but that's an entirely different discussion all together.
"I am never going to do ANYMORE favours for ANYONE EVER AGAIN!" He then started clawing his way through the badly fabricated barricade to reach the door. Once at the door, he threw it open, gave one last hysterical scream, then literally launched himself at one of the by standing guards,
"Take me with you! I will never kill again! I will be a good Samaritan! Just please, PLEASE! Never let me near THAT MAN, again!" The security guards looked between the two killers in complete, and utter confusion, but complied to Zsasz's plea. One guard stayed though, still looking at the Joker.
"I don't know what his problem is!" Joker said, still looking insulted by the other man, but broke out into maniacal laughter. Again. The guard still standing shook his head at the mad man, and walked down the hall, closing the door on the now pouting Joker.,
And that is why you don't agree to teach clown's about basic human anatomy.
THE END!
Yupp, so that just happened.
I'm gonna go work on my other Batman story! So talk/see/type to you later!
Wait...see? I'M WATCHING YOU ALL!
MWAAHAHAHAHAHA
-TheJoker'sAdmirer.
