Letters Never Sent: One
Nico, aged 16
You. You are the reason I'm leaving Camp Half Blood. Will, I'm scared. I'm scared of myself, and how different I've been since I've met you, I'm scared of you and how you change me, and most of all I'm scared of us. The us that's never been, but the us I spend every living moment imagining. Will, I close my eyes, and I see your face. I day dream and suddenly your bright smile is in my head. When I go to sleep, the thing that gives me solace and stops me from nightmares, are reruns of mindless conversations we shared when I was in the infirmary. Your dorky humour, your stupid puns, your extensive knowledge on everything, I remember it all. I remember the walks we took on the beach together with the rest of our friends, and how you and I walked ahead and talked of countless possibilities of the world's future. That night, as we looked on at the stars, I felt so invincible. I felt so safe as you spoke to me and told me random facts about the night sky I loved so much. I stared at you that night, as if fascinated by your words, which I was, but my gaze went deeper. I stared into your eyes that night, and I stared into your soul. And I saw a young boy, with so much beauty inside and out that he never showed to anyone. I saw your vulnerable side as you talked passionately about the stars, and I stared and stared at you till I couldn't stop staring. I stared until I realised I was in love. Will, I am so deeply, truly in love with you. In a crowded room, my eyes don't rest till I've found you. I laugh the loudest when you make a stupid, dorky joke. I'm the one who listens raptly when you speak, because Will, I know every time you speak I see more of your soul. And it kills me. It destroys me because I'm in love with an angel who could never love me back. And when you love someone that doesn't love you back, it's like you're dying everyday.
And so I'm leaving. Maybe one day, I'll get over you. Most probably, I won't.
If I am certain of one thing, it's that I'll never forget you. i'll never forget the way your eyes shone, I'll never forget the galaxies I saw in them. I'll never stop dying every day, and I'll never stop cherishing every death, because I'd die a thousand times every day to remember you.
I love you. Much more than I thought a young teenager was capable of loving.
But I do. And I always will.
Till the end.
-Nico.
