This is just a little drabble I found on my hard drive from way back when. There's no real purpose, but I think it brings a nice feeling at the end. :) Though, really, I wrote this years ago, so I don't really remember what my thoughts on it were at the time.


People look up to me, you know. Some even say they love me. They are drawn in by the good looks, the grades, the kind smile. But what do they know of the real Shuichi Minamino? Or rather, Youko Kurama?

Nothing. That's what they know, and all the better to them for it. What good could come out of knowing the dubious joy of loving a mother not your own? The mixed joy and guilt brought by a smile of an blameless, loving woman? How could knowing the utter loneliness of my existence make their lives any better?

It couldn't, and that's why they focus instead on what they see. Shuichi Minamino, the golden boy of Meiou High. The boy who scores the highest on every test, the boy who all the girls yearn for, the boy who is kind to everybody. The boy who deceives them all. Everybody needs someone to admire, to look up to, and so they look to me. But would they still struggle for my attention if they knew about my past? About my reputation as the lascivious thief, about the priceless treasures I stole? How I had taken over an innocent baby's body in an effort to survive? Would they still swoon at my smile if they knew about the paradoxical smirk on Youko's face as he takes yet another life?

They wouldn't, of course, and that's why I let them believe. Believe that I am the boy they know, believe that I am truly happy.

And sometimes when I feel them believing, for just a little moment, I believe it, too.


As it happens, there was another line continuing the writing, but I simply have no idea what I had in mind at the time, so it'll have to end here. Oh well.