A/N: I know quite a lot of people have done this, but I wanted to give it a try too. Please review!
Summary: This is set during New Moon, months after the Cullens left Forks. Edward runs across a very old trail. A trail that leads straight to his hell... and his personal paradise.
I let my mind wander as I ran between the dark trees under the sunset and allowed myself to think of absolutely nothing at all – this was when I managed to feel the best I could; when I gave into my instincts. A faded sweet smell caught my attention and I slowed to a fast pace, still faster than any human's fastest run. It smelled like Alice. What has Alice been doing around here lately?, I wondered; but then I realized this smell was much too faded – this trail was, perhaps, months old. Which meant I had to be close to Forks.
I hadn't intended to come this way. I'd been running around a lot, most of the time for no reason and getting nowhere. I usually went home after a few days –well, not home, but I'd go back my family's new home. Just to see some familiar faces.
I couldn't bear to be near them, though. Couldn't stand to hear their thoughts.
I hate to see Edward putting himself through hell for nothing.
When will he come to his senses?
I miss Forks. When are we going back?
I'd explained to them a hundred times. We were never going back.
And the hell I put myself in – I had an excellent reason to do so. I wouldn't go back on my decision. I would never put her in danger again.
A couple of months ago, Alice had told me Bella had disappeared from her visions completely. As much as that worried me, I knew I should be glad. We would no longer interfere. And for that effect, it was better to be in the dark.
This time, I'd been out for a bit longer than a week or so—it was easy to lose track of time. And now I'd found myself close to what I'd once thought of as my personal hell.
I didn't stop. I should've, but what harm could it do to check on our old house? I wouldn't be seen and, most importantly, no one would see me.
Alice's smell would lead back to the house, and though I could follow it, I didn't have to. I knew exactly where I was – just a few miles north of the meadow I'd once taken Bella to. I went the other way. I don't know if I could've handled seeing it, going back there, being surrounded by memories of happier times.
I shouldn't have asked her not to be afraid. When it came to me, she should always be afraid.
Why couldn't she be like any other humans, why couldn't she stay away from us?
Why couldn't I let her?
The trees around me ended in front of the house's glass wall, now covered with steel. Everything looked dead here, no one had been to this place in months. It still smelled faintly of us. Another vampire would've known we used to live here.
I couldn't stand to be so close to the old house, so I ran again—reaching the highway in a second, but staying in the shadows. There was no need, no cars were around.
No sign of live.
I couldn't help myself once I was so close. Bella's house was minutes away, if that much. She'd never know. I could just check on her, just for a moment. Just see her face one last time.
Out in the woods, her features had been covered with despair. Now I had a chance to see her smile. Just so I could keep that as my very last memory of her, instead of a heartbroken expression.
I'd know she was happier without me. Even if that hurt me, I'd be sure I'd done the right thing.
It was late afternoon, and her truck was on the driveway, older than ever, its engine cold under the soft rain. She'd probably be doing her homework… or emailing her mother. Maybe making Charlie dinner.
Instead, when I crept to the living room window furtively, I found her sitting on the floor, her back against the wall opposite to where I stood. She had her knees up to her chest and she was clenching her sides with both arms.
I heard a soft gasp and a violent intake of air, followed by muffled cries. These couldn't be coming from her, could they? Had something happened to her? Was she hurt?
She lifted her head briefly, coming up for air. Her hair was a mess and in the dimming light, even if I weren't a vampire, I'd have been able to see her eyes glittering with tears.
Had something happened to Charlie? Her human friends?
But I could hear his car getting closer. He was fine. I hid behind the house when he went in and then I returned to my previous spot.
I heard him think grimly, Oh, no, not again… just after he got inside and half-opened the window I was crouching under. And then I saw him holding his hand out to help Bella up. What did he mean with it? Had this happened before?
It caused me actual physical pain to just look at her as she broke down. I couldn't possibly believe this wasn't a first, or it would destroy me.
She took his hand apprehensively and got on her feet, leaning on the wall for support and brushing away tears with the back of her free hand.
"I'm – I'm sorry, Dad," she said, her voice flat and broken.
"It's okay, sweetheart. Let's get you up to your room."
"Yeah, let me just… get my backpack." She walked toward me without much balance and I realized she'd lost a lot of weight since I'd left. She looked even more breakable than ever, like she was about to fall down and fracture everything.
I lowered myself to the floor as she got closer and I could hear her body bending to pick up the backpack on the floor.
Suddenly, she was up, her hands on the windowsill, an expression I couldn't quite read on her face.
She looked eager, maybe. Agitated.
I thought I'd even seen a glitter of hope in her dead eyes.
But then Charlie called out, "Bella?" She snapped out of wherever she was and turned her back to her window, walking slowly to her room upstairs.
She'd felt it. I was sure of it, that she'd felt my presence here, somehow. Maybe I could blame the strange electricity current that seemed to connect us one afternoon in biology lab. It seemed to be back in that moment, and then it was gone.
I stayed close to the house, hearing Charlie worrying about Bella in his thoughts. Eventually, he went to bed.
And then, I did something I thought I'd never do again. Something I'd promised myself I wouldn't do anymore. I climbed through Bella's open window, into her room.
