Infinite Hells
I've been suffering from horrible writers block mixed with insane laziness. To the point where the only work I seem to write these days are one-shots that sit uselessly on my phones notepad. This'll be where my Raildex stories go. I'm going to be using the Infinite Hells to loosely tie them together. None of them directly tie to each other, it's just a convenient frame work to group them together with. Also it allows me to make changes to how certain characters treat Kamijou without having to consider any inconsistencies and mistakes. Don't expect too much though, most will or have been written at 3-4am. (Chapter Titles indicate whose perspective the work is written in)
Mikoto Misaka
"Is it true? What she said?"
Her voice wavered slightly, eyes fixed on his stiff back. He'd frozen the moment she'd spoken, the moment she'd revealed what had just been told to her by that strange Sister.
She'd not wanted to believe so she'd sought him out immediately, to get answers. She'd found him staring at nothing on a bench in District 7.
Their usual park.
That thought would've brought a blush at any other time but not today, not with what brought her here.
She watched in muted despair as he slumped, despair that grew as he blew out an exhausted breath unlike the ones she usually heard from him. It wasn't his usual exhaustion, it was bone deep, soul deep, deeper even than that.
The pain it held, so much of it that tore her heart to shreds just hearing it.
She wondered why he hadn't tried to deny it, wondered why he didn't bother with his normal facade of placating her worries so she didn't have to bear the weight he did.
He rose slowly, back still to her but he stood as tall as ever, as strong as ever.
"It is"
That was all he said, all he said as he destroyed her entire world.
She'd dogged his steps for so long, desperately clawed her way towards that stage he stood on. She loved him, wanted to be with him, there for him, stand beside him.
But his stage was for demons, there was no place for her where he was going and there never would be.
Touma Kamijou, he'd saved her life so many times, saved her Sisters, saved her friends, he always made her smile even when he drove her to distraction. He was the kindest person she knew.
He was also a demon.
Not literally, of course, but he may as well be. All that strength of his, the way his words did more damage than his fists, how he could turn people from the darkness with almost casual ease the moment he truly sets his mind to it. People like Accelerator, monsters in human skin that no one else could hope to defeat, that idiot may have knocked him out in combat but he'd defeated him with words. Turned a monster into just another human. She wondered briefly how many other monsters were now just humans because of him. If he ever turned his talents to the darkness he could crush the light with ease.
He was an utter demon, but kinder than any human. He waved it off as selfishness on his part, and maybe it was, but she couldn't see it as anything other than kind. He didn't care about societies views, that of science or religion, he saw something he deemed unacceptable and fought against it until his body was broken and then fought further. Humans care about those things, no matter how much one tries to deny it. They have their little cliques, their own little corners of society. Touma didn't, he didn't care about the greater good, he cared about the smallest wrongs. Greater good was just a fancy way of saying lesser evil, and he'd not stand for any of that. A single life was too high a price for anything, and he didn't care who stood in his way of protecting that single life. Even the faction that followed him, he'd fight them too if they ever got in his way of saving that single life. He'd hate it, fighting his friends, but he'd do it. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. He'd try to talk it out, convince them to step aside or help him, but if push came then he'd fight.
It was stupid, but beautiful in its own way. That self-destructive boy who had once upon a time stood against her for nothing more than wanting to stop her from throwing away her own life. She hadn't believed there to be another way, but he'd proved her wrong. All she'd ever had to do was ask for help. She'd barely known him back then but she'd known his power, known his nature to assist those he thought in trouble. Even in a city where a great number of people had literal superpowers, all he'd ever seen was people who might need a helping hand.
A hand he'd always offered. She'd experienced it when they first met, seen it often when she had followed him around discreetly to look for weaknesses she could exploit in their next spar.
All she'd needed to do was trust someone to help. She was glad it ended up being him.
But demons are still demons, and he'd just proved it.
Because only a demon could shatter the illusion of a broken hearted girl who'd just learnt the entire world was a fake meant to make him suffer, to show him that even if he did everything perfectly it'll all be worthless in the end... To make him break.
Tears slipped from her eyes, anger unable to burn because of the torrent cascading down her cheeks.
"S-so none of this... m-me?"
He turned slightly, sadness in his eyes she never wanted to see.
"No" he stated firmly "No, even if this is just a world Othinus made, it's real. You're real!"
It didn't bring her comfort, only more despair. She chuckled brokenly, collapsing to her knees.
"But the outcome doesn't change does it?"
She whispered, eyes gazing blearily at her hands as they curled into the dirt. A lump in her throat she forced herself to speak around.
"In the end, no matter what the outcome, we'll all disappear and you'll just keep going. Right?"
She could see how much it hurt him when she looked up to gauge his reaction. She'd never wondered what expression someone would make when being literally pulled apart on a sub-atomic level but she imagined that's what Touma's expression resembled.
"I'll keep going"
Admitting it aloud seemed like the hardest thing she'd ever seen him do but despite all that pain he was feeling, the weight of a choice where every option ends with the destruction of a world, he shed no tears. She feared for herself, for her friends and family but most of all, she was scared for him. How many worlds had he suffered through? How many had he lost? How many more losses were to come?Touma Kamijou had once seemed like a stupid, stubborn pillar propping up the world, but it was more than just one now. An entire collection of worlds he'd tried to prop up only to drop them time and time again. This Othinus person wanted him to break, but the truth was obvious to Mikoto. He already had, just not in the way that so named God wanted. So where did that leave her?
Terrified, horrified, with a heart in her chest that had shattered and the pieces could barely even be called dust. Her mind was filled with a single image. An endless, chasmic void of black, just Touma walking ever onwards alone.
"That's- that's too sad!.. I don't want that for you..."
The words slipped out without her meaning too but she didn't do anything to take them back. She watched him smile gently and move to stand before her, resting a hand on her head, brushing his fingers gently through her hair. The contact filled with affection.
"I know" he whispered kindly "but I can't stop"
She tried to nod but failed, instead just enjoying the contact and his attention as much as she possibly could.
"I don't want you to go"
He knelt down in front of her, hand still threading through her hair
"I know"
She leant forwards, small hands gripping his shirt and resting her forehead against his chest. Even though she said that, she had no intention of stopping him. She'd see him off with as much of as smile as she could, with all the trust she had. That was what a good women would do, what the type of woman she wanted to be would do.
"They better be thankful. The ones you're going back to. They better not take you for granted or hurt you or anything! Because I'll never forgive them if they do!"
She pulled him closer, taking the steps she'd been to embarrassed and afraid to take with him before. He wasn't hers, he never had been and he never would be but she'd be damned if she couldn't do at least this before it all inevitably came crashing around her.
"Your me, I'm giving up a lot for her so she better feel the same as I do"
She looked up, something like shyness and fierceness battling it out in her expression. He looked cute with that confusion on his face, but before he could say anything she darted up and kissed his cheek as close to the corners of his lips her maidens heart would let her. He blushed slightly and her face had long lit up red. She buried herself back in his chest, feeling the muscles in his neck flex as he flapped his jaw. From the corner of her vision she saw his eyes sadden more but he smiled down at her with more care than ever and it made her heart race and ache simultaneously.
"I don't think she does, but I'm glad you do"
She smiled, a tiny smile tinged with melancholy and longing. She focused more as he continued
"This phase, you've been by my side a lot, haven't you? I'd forgotten what it was like to truly smile for a bit there. You really are special Mikoto"
He'd never used her first name before, always nicknames or her family name. The girly love-struck part of her wanted to squeal but the rest of her knew why he'd done it.
It wasn't that he was returning her feelings, because this would be the worst time to tell her one way or the other, but what he was doing eased her soul a bit either way. He was letting her know he'd never once thought her as his Misaka or as some copy meant only to break him. He saw her as her own person, the same as but at the same time entirely different to the one of his world. Distinct from all the other Mikoto Misaka's he must have met. He was letting her know he was thankful for her existence, her friendship and love. That he'd never forget that she'd once been there.
Even though her world was coming to an end with no way to stop it, she was happy that he'd remember her, not just Mikoto Misaka but the specific Mikoto Misaka that she was.
"You should go"
She whispered after a few quiet minutes in his embrace. She didn't want it to end but all things had to eventually. He nodded but stayed quiet, arms tightening around her for a few seconds. It was almost, almost, strong enough to hurt but filled her with warmth.
He didn't say anything as he turned to leave, but she did.
"I won't forget you either Touma!"
He didn't look back, he didn't pause, he just kept walking away. She knew he'd heard, knew she'd eased his burden just a little bit and she knew that her words had made him happy. Even if he died and was restored again, the world resetting with it, even if she disappeared at least he knew she'd keep her word.
She scowled at the ground when he was out of sight, heart heavy.
"I don't know what he did for you, whether it was the same as what he did for me, all I know is that you better love him Mikoto Misaka. You better love him, because I do and I can't stand thinking of someone else by his side other than me. So even though I can't, if it's a me then at least I can grudgingly accept it. I... Damn it, I hate this... I wanted it to be this me..."
she scooted backwards to lean against the tree behind her, refusing to summon the energy to get on her feet. Her scowl fell away in to melancholy, idly reaching for her phone.
"I bet his me isn't as cute, she's probably really stupid, constantly flashes her underwear like a weirdo and is friends with that damn Shokkahou... Urgh, who am I even kidding? She's proubably exactly like me... please be exactly like me"
She spent the final hours of her world alone, watching the day progress, all the while thinking of a future she would never have. She wanted to call her friends, her family but she'd prefer to let them live the last moments of their lives without worry and calling them up out of the blue feeling like this would only worry them. She sent off a few messages asking about their days but otherwise didn't respond much. Instead she pictured that non-existent future and the future of a girl who was exactly like her but wasn't her at the same time.
"She better reach that stage... For all the Mikoto's who never got the chance to even try"
She never noticed when the world ended and reformed, nobody but the Magic God Othinus and Touma Kamijou did. One smirking cruelly at a dying blood-soaked boy and the other glaring up at a scantily clad monster he'd defeat even if it took him a million more worlds.
"In this world, or the next" the blonde magic god enunciated like a patient teacher. "It matters not" It lasted only a brief moment before she smashed her foot onto the boys head, crushing it. It was with but a wave of her spear that everything began existing again, included the boy whose life she'd just ended.
"You'll break eventually"
'Time for something different.' The one-eyed witch thought in dark humour 'We've reached another mile stone after all, attempt number 3,900,000'
