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In general, Mal reflected, Tides wasn't a bad planet.

The towns were small, but developed, the air was clean. It even had a beach. he'd let himself be sweet talked by Kaylee into giving the crew a whole day's shore leave, basking in the afterglow of a job well done in the nearby town of Ulton. Mal had agreed, but still had kept his gruff captain-y exterior and made Wash leave Serenity outside of the town, just in case. Soon after announcing leave, Jayne had said he'd wanted to go back to Ulton, to get whores, and Book went with him, one to drive the mule, and two to visit the famously picturesque Ulton church. Kaylee had taken River down to the beach and splashed around for a few hours, before she and River looked themselves in Inara's quarters, telling everyone to keep away, because, as Kaylee put it, they intended to have "a girly sleepover, so scoot, capt'n"

Mal had laughed good naturedly at their antics, because Kaylee and a job well done (meaning no one got shot) always put him in good mood. He steered clear of the shuttle, and waved off Zoe and Wash, who as Zoe said were "Going to find some clear spot on the beach"

"To get naked on" Wash had added. Soon Mal found himself alone, and realized the good doctor was alone in the ship too. Mal had grinned, a particularly devilish grin he thought proudly, and went to hunt down his sort-of-lover down. He and the doc had been going at it for the better part of three weeks and Mal was having more fun than he thought possible. They had a strict arrangement, sex, nothing more, but Mal still found himself getting closer to the boy. Some nights, when Simon was gathering his clothes and leaving, Mal almost felt like asking him to stay. And sometimes Simon would pause and look at him, as if something had been left unsaid. And moments, after they were done, when Simon had a goofy grin that was not unlike his grin when drunk, when Mal just spontaneously reached over and kissed him, or Simon cuddled into his shoulder, happened more often. It felt good, it felt like for a moment, the verse could fall away and they could just be Mal and Simon. As worried as Mal was that it would turn into a complication, he found he'd rather keep those moments anyway.

After some fifteen minutes of searching, it soon became apparent that Simon wasn't on Serenity. Mal headed down the open doors and ramp leading out of Serenity, to spot Simon sitting on a nearby boulder, his knees in front of him, arm crossed on top, looking very much like a lost little boy. He was staring at one of Tides' famous two hour long sunsets, which was just beginning. Mal grinned and started walking towards him "Hey darlin'!" he called, knowing that anyone would think he was teasing, even Simon, but he knew he only sort of was.

Simon only lifted one shoulder in response. Mal's grin vanished, he knew something was wrong. He climbed up next to Simon and asked "What's wrong?" "She's never going to get better, is she? No matter what I do. She'll be...not-River for ever. My sister's gone." his voice broke on the last word and he begun to cry, forehead on his knees. Mal felt uncomfortable, he hated people crying. He had one vivid memory from when he was five, asking his mother if crying meant people were melting. But this was Simon, not only his Simon, but his doctor. Awkwardly, he placed an arm around Simon's convulsing shoulders. Unexpectedly, Simon leaned into Mal's chest completely, and Mal wrapped another arm around him and whispered nonsense sounds to Simon until all the tears were gone, and Mal had his arm full of pale, wet, but calm, doctor. "Thank you" Simon said eventually, in a small quiet voice. Mal grunted in response and tried to pull back, but Simon's hands reached up and held his arms fast where they were, against Simon's chest. "Don't go" the younger man said. "Please. Stay. Let me stay, Mal, please" Mal felt his eyes go slightly wide because Simon was obviously not just talking about the current position of Mal' arms.

Before Mal could answer, Simon turned around and kissed him hard on the mouth, with a sort of desperate, raw energy. Before Mal knew it, he was on his back, Simon above him, his kisses fierce and pleading. "Whoa, whoa!" He said, and quickly caught Simon's wrists, but it took a few moments before Simon actually stopped. Mal was panting slightly, a bit confused. Simon's eyes dropped. "I'm not good enough, am I?" he asked, despair in his voice. "What?"

"I...I just…I'm not strong like Zoe. Or funny, like Wash. or useful, like Book and Jayne. Or cheery like Kaylee or brilliant like River. I'm just Simon. I'm not special or particularly pretty, or lovable, or good with words, or guns. I'm just...I'm not Inara, Mal. but I guess I am your whore" at the last bit, Simon seemed to reach a level of sadness Mal could actually feel as if it were a solid object. Wo de ma the boy was in love with him. And it was killing him inside. Simon seemed to have taken Mal's shocked silence as a sign of the worst, and had turned, sniffling, and was now on his knees, his back to Mal. Mal reached out and put a hand on Simon's shoulder. Simon made a surprised little noise, but didn't react any further. Mal winced, because this was his fault. "Simon? Lianren? I'm sorry. I never thought...I never thought you felt that way. 'cause I'm a hundan, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry baby. I really am. But you're wrong. You're beyond special. You're funny, and smart, and talented. Anybody who tells you different deserves to get shot. And I'm not backing way from this. Even if it means fighting tooth and claw, I'll keep you safe and in my bed Simon Tam, because I love you!" Simon went stiff, and then asked "You mean it?" Mal nodded, then realized Simon couldn't see him, but he didn't need to because all of a sudden his arms were full or core-bred young man again.

He kissed Simon, tenderly, and just sat there with him, rocking gently. Eventually, when the sunset was nearing an end, he nudged Simon up. "c'mon. We gotta get home." Simon looked up and smiled. "M'kay." Mal smiled, because it was obvious how much his earlier crying jag had tired him out, because normally Simon would never say anything like the grammatical train wreck that was m'kay.

They walked, holding hands, up to Serenity, and started on the ramp when Simon suddenly stopped. "I love you" he says quickly, and takes Mal's face and kisses him softly. Mal grins. "To our bunk, shall we?", he says, with false, overacted manners. Simon laughs, then some mischief creeps into his eyes, and reminds Mal of River.

"Race you there!" and Simon runs of, with Mal shouting after him.

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