Well this is one of the tie-ins for Hate. Though it can be read as a stand alone if you haven't read Hate, so no prob. This one's probably a little less vauge than Hate.

I don't own Bleach.

Enjoy!

January 1 2015 - minor spelling/grammar edit


I've always held my Reiatsu in an iron fist, the fact that it has grown harder to do so lately does not escape my notice, nor do the implications that it carries.

My inner world did not always stand on its side, so disregarding of physics, the skyscrapers used to stand as vertically as the buildings of Tokyo. The fact that it now stands on its side and is ever tilting further down tells me more surely than any tests that Ishida and his hospital can ever utter.

I am dying. Not yet seventeen and dying.

My father knows, my sisters know, my cousin and god brother knows, my best friend does not know, my oldest friend has suspicions and her guesses grow nearer to the truth of the matter every day. I can only hope that when the time comes for me to die they understand the reasons why I did not tell them.

None of the Shinigami are any the wiser about my condition despite all the time I have spent in their medical centres. I think that perhaps Ukitake has guessed what is happening, though he has not said anything. When he sees me struggling for air after a fight, on the desert sands of Hueco Mundo or in the streets of my own town or against one of the Shinigami in a training spar, he takes me back to the thirteenth and lets me rest, sending sympathetic glances at me when he thinks I'm not paying attention.

I find that I no longer care what outcome the war has, the likelihood that I'll live to the conclusion growing slimmer with each passing day. Despite the way that I've fought against the Arancar, my sword sharp and Reiatsu fierce and snarling, it is no longer my concern what they do to the Shinigami. I will continue to fight but I will be hollow within.

Despite the fact that I'm dying for the peaceful close of this war, I can't seem to find it myself to hate them, the Shinigami or the Hollows or even Aizen himself. Perhaps that is the reason that I feel such a deep sense of peace as I sink into darkness at night, knowing that I am not likely to return to the conscious realm…