It was a dark, gloomy day.

And they sure as hell had a damn good reason.

George O'Malley, son, brother and friend was being remembered today.

It has been a year since he had died. His death had tore them all apart, and somehow a year later, his death was what brought them together.

Their lives didn't include each other anymore. They walked away from their past, and at the same time, each other, and built separate futures.

Meredith Grey-Shepherd was three months pregnant with their first child. She was a fourth year resident at Boston Memorial, with her husband as the chief of surgery. She could say that she held up for the first couple of months since he had died, but the truth was she was barely hanging on. Derek was what kept her together and she was forever grateful.

Despite his being chief of surgery, he still stayed committed to his wife and now his growing family. With him as the chief and Meredith's glowing pregnancy, Derek could say that this was one of the highest and most happy points in their year. They needed to get away from it all. From all the grief and the unspoken words, and when they finally did, he found himself missing Seattle and the life they built there.

They had a suburban house, they preferred to keep to themselves and for one time in her life, Meredith Grey wasn't the fixture of the public eye. They lived a quiet life, no longer the topic of gossip but somehow she also found herself missing her friends and the rainy city. There was a hole in her heart, where her home had once been and she had no idea to fix it without breaking everything else.

She had walked away from her friends, and her past life with regret and shame. She could no longer handle walking in the very hall where she had met one of her very best friends who no longer lived.

She had stayed in touch, on and off for a couple of months but eventually, the line of communication went dead. Christina Yang-Hunt had never really forgiven her for leaving her best friend.

"I can't stay Chris." Meredith says solemnly.

"So you're walking away from it all." Christina Yang says bitterly.

"I'm…"

"No, you're walking away. You're running, that's your M.O. How could I blame you for that?" She says sarcastically.

"Christina…"

"No! You don't have to explain why you're running yet again. You're scared, you should be. If you're not you don't have a hell of a clue that's going on." She says echoing her mentor. "What with my job falling apart, and Izzie's cancer spreading. You and Alex are the only ones with the chance to run. I guess with him dying" They still can't utter his name. "I guess with him dying, he just cursed us all for failure." She says coldly.

"You don't get it! I'm not afraid of failure Christina, I just can't take it anymore!" Meredith exclaims.

"Take what anymore?!"

"All the bitterness and the coldness, even without the cancer, Izzie's not the same peppy, happy person that I love. Alex? He's not the same guy. He won't even make fun of people just to lighten up the situation anymore. And you? The bitterness is getting old, and I'm really getting tired of it." She says angrily.

"So you're not running away from the fact that George is dead. You just can't deal with the bitterness in Seattle , what with your bright and shiny life and your bright and shiny marriage, you don't have time for us anymore low lives anymore." She screams.

"I can't stay here." Meredith says. "I can't stay here because everything just reminds me of him. I can't stay here because I can't even pass his room without feeling the burning hole in my stomach. I can't stay here because I can't even ride the fucking elevator without imagining him with his hand in a heart. I can't stay here because whenever I'm in that OR I always, always look up and imagine him there cheering me on.

So I'm running because that's the only thing I can do Christina. He was my best friend and I really can't deal with seeing him everywhere right now."

Just like that, Christina's view on her running instantly changed. She hugs her friend and Meredith gives a surprised yelp. "Do you want me to drive you to the airport?"

Christina Yang was a Hunt for two months now. Their marriage was a spur of the moment trip to Vegas over the weekend. She could say that the trip was inspired by a certain friend, or she could also say she was more in love with Owen than she would have ever been with another man.

Her surgical career made a leap a few months back. She had her heart set on Cardio and she truly was 'the one to watch'. But one could say that the 'ice queen' was 'melting'. She gave more time to talk to her patients and also regarded the needs of her husband. Again, people could say that this change of heart was inspired by a certain surgeon.

Christina had stayed in Seattle and Owen had never left her to go back to the Army as she had thought. She had also been given numerous offers from other hospitals but she decided that her life was there, past or no past, and she was happy.

"Do you ever think about him?" Owen says as he kisses the tip of her forehead.

"Who? O'Malley?" She says.

"Yes." He smiles softly at his girlfriend. He had been dead for two months and Meredith had been gone for a little over a month, he knew her well enough she missed the companionship of her friends.

"Sometimes." She sighs. "You can't really think of our past life without thinking of George O'Malley in it. When I say past life, I mean us as interns. I mean he's been there for practically everything. He was there during Denny. He was present for Meredith's dark and twisty tendencies. He was also there when Alex's… whatever and he was there…" She says, not willing to finish the sentence.

"He was there for you when the Burke thing happened." He finishes or her. She looks up at him, for once with adoring eyes and kisses him softly on the lips.

"I just can't believe…"

"You can't believe what?"

"That one of us would be dead, you know? I always thought that the five of us, would be like each other's support group. I'm not making any sense." She says shaking her head. "No. He was my friend and I didn't expect me losing someone I called my friend. Not that soon"

"I bet you never expected to end up with me." He smirks.

"No, not really. Someone much, much hotter." She teases. Owen tackles her down to the bed and she gives off a few giggles.

Izzie was now in partial remission and that was what Alex was most thankful for. He and his wife had moved to San Francisco after she had stopped chemotherapy and decided to start a new life on their own.

They were happy and very much in love. But he still had the fear of himself waking up to an empty bed. She was the love of his life but sometimes, her instability scared the shit out of him.

She was healthy, as healthy as a cancer patient could get but she wasn't the same. She suffered violent mood swings and she still couldn't handle looking at a man that even resembled George O'Malley. Alex was as deeply affected, but there was now way he could show it. His wife needed him and that was his first priority.

Izzie was still a surgeon, just not as a great one as he had hoped. Alex was the hotshot in their new hospital, but that didn't make him feel any better. If he was the best at something, he wanted Izzie to be right up there with him.

They decided to move to San Francisco after Alex had gotten a very promising job offer from their chief of surgery as a general surgeon. He had accepted, not for his rising career, but for the hopes that he could get his wife back from that deep dark hole that she was burying herself in.

"You know Iz. If I knew you were going to be like this I would have killed O'Malley for dying." He says quietly.

Izzie looks up at him in surprise and shakes her head. There is no way her husband could be that cruel.

"I'm serious though. He made you this way, sad and depressing. Seriously, you're like the new Meredith and Meredith's probably the new you." He says harshly.

"So what? You're going to divorce me for Meredith? I'm pretty sure Shepherd's not going to let her go Alex." She says weakly.

"No I'm not going to divorce you because I love you too much. But I hate what George's death is doing to you." He says softly.

She can't bring herself to talk. She's just gone through three hours of chemo and she has to listen to this.

"I can't bear to see you like this Iz. You're not talking anymore, you rarely even smile." He says.

"You think I want to be like this?! You think I want to be sad and moody and depressed?!" She shouts.

"No. I know you don't. I just want you to rely on me to help you for once because god, Izzie. I can't lose you too." He says truthfully. "Don't make me lose you because honestly, you're the only person I have left."

"I miss him Alex" She says, her voice breaking.

"I know you do. I do too. Sort of." He grins.

"I hate how much I miss him Alex." She says. "He wasn't supposed to die. He's George, he's a hero. And if his being a hero was what caused him to die, I would really rather that he wasn't" She rambles. "How selfish am I?" She cries.

"Almost as selfish as me for wanting my wife to forget him so she can go back to minding me." He sighs. "It doesn't make you a bad person for wanting him alive, it makes you human."

She cries, but unfortunately, Alex driving doesn't allow him to soothe her. "Don't leave me Alex please."

"I promise you I won't. Will you promise me the same thing?" He says softly.

"I'll do what I can." She whispers.

"That's all I can ask for, right?" He sighs.

Lexie wasn't in their group. She wasn't part of the 'fab five' they created for themselves. So imagine her surprise when she actually started becoming close to Christina Yang.

They're friendship grew as she was the only one that stayed among them. Her and Mark were going smoothly along their relationship. She would be lying if she said that she was waiting for his proposal. This Mark Sloan was one that she got used to, they still had their little banters but they had those romantic candle-lit dinner moments too.

She was still at Seattle Grace with her photographic memory and her very hot boyfriend. Mark Sloan had reformed for her, which was something she should have been happy for. She was happy. She just didn't know why she found herself missing her best friend everyday.

Mark Sloan was the shoe-in for chief of surgery but Richard Webber could not resign. So he was the right hand man, performing surgeries around America . That seemed to be his new job, but he maintained his permanent home in Seattle for one reason. Lexie Grey.

This wasn't the first time he had to carry Little Grey home in a drunken stupor. He learned that he was very much like her sister, babbling on and on when drunk.

"He was my roommate y'know?" She slurs. He chuckles at her look. She's being carried by him while her hand is still clutching a bottle of tequila. "He was my buddy. He wasn't s'posed to leave me. We were buddies. Buddies last foreveeeeeeeer." She smiles. "He was actually the first one who realized that I had a thing for Mark Sloan before me! How smart is he?" She giggles. "He was soooo brave that Georgie. Ya'know that he was actually the chief's right hand man? Kind of like you right now. How does it make you feel that he was there first!" She teases drunkenly.

Mark realizes what she was talking about, not about the chief position but about the fact that she had loved him first. He could still remember the days were she would fight him just for the sake of him treating George O'Malley like an actual human being. Those days did not sit well with his stomach.

"Georgie and me? We used to dance a lot! With Mer'dith and Christina back when she was still grumpy grumpy Christina. Yeah, those were the days" She sighs as he lays her down on their bed.

She had finally decided to move in with him after realizing that the Grey home only held bad memories for all of them. They had sold it after Meredith had left Seattle . "Didn't you hear? He was the best of them and he had the most most most letters of recommen-mendation." She slurs. "And they all said the same things, that he had the biggest heart that anybody could ask for." She says, stretching out her arms for emphasis.

"Really?" Mark grumbles as he pulls of her shoes and wipes her head.

"Yeah. George O'Malley was a hero." She sighs. Her eyes tear up as she faces her boyfriend.

"Lex?" Mark asks.

"I miss him."

Miranda Bailey was the head of General Surgery at Seattle Grace. She was the prodigy that turned unhinged when one of her own had to die. She was already dealing with Isobel Stevens' cancer and another frustrating thing had dropped on her plate. She had to deal with George O'Malley's death.

That was the moment she realized that Pediatric Surgery was no for her. No way in hell was she going through that again. She then realized that what a death of a child could do to the whole family but she couldn't do anything but stand by as she watched her own family---personally and professionally---fall apart.

She was successful, she was present in many medical journals but even the Chief would say that she had lost her spark the moment she lost one of her own. Oh god, did she try incredibly hard to gain back that spark. The closest she got to getting it back was a mere flicker.

"Don't touch me. Don't touch me." She says backing away from the chief as he tries to hug her. "Please don't." She cries in pain.

"Miranda…" Richard says soothingly, trying to calm down his favorite resident. "Why don't we sit down?"

"He was a son to me!" She cries, "I can't even help the rest of them. I raised them."

"You did a hell of a job Bailey." Richard says. "You did the best you could and they turned out better than okay."

"NO! I raised them! I raised them and I wasn't supposed to outlive any of them, chief." She cries.

"We don't control this." He whispers, rubbing her back. "We don't control who lives our dies, as doctors we just do our best to save the next life." He says.

"He isn't a patient chief! Why the hell are you saying this?! He's not a patient, I've practically lost a child." Bailey sobs. "He was my boy. He was... I named my own flesh and blood after that boy!" She screams.

"Yes, but you have other children too. Grey, Karev, Yang and especially Stevens who needs your help today Bailey. They need you. They need to know you're still there even though one of their own isn't." He whispers.

"He's George O'Malley, the doe-eyed little boy with the biggest heart you could hope for. He's George..." She sobs. "He was my boy."

"You loved him Bailey. You loved all of them." He sighs, she's clinging on to him now like he was her lifeline. His presence was the only thing that kept her from falling apart.

She feels horrible for herself but also for the four left. He was their family and they all knew one too many times how it is to lose family.

"George…" She cries once more.

"Let's see the others" The chief whispers holding her up. He brings her too the room they occupied. It was a sight that broke both of there hearts.

Izzie was fast asleep in her bed, Alex on the bed right beside her, from afar he looked like he was holding together greatly but Bailey knew Alex Karev, she knew the amount of pain he was in just to not cry. Christina was comforting Meredith like she would have done. Meredith was crying heavily with no McDreamy with her inside. Christina too was crying now for George was as well her family as the rest of them were.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. The fifth member was supposed to be holding up the two women and staring at Alex, begging him to just let the pain go and cry. The fifth member was supposed to kiss Izzie tenderly on the head and stop her from crying. The fifth member was supposed to banter with Christina and make sure she wouldn't change.

Bailey did her best to fill his place until Alex cried, until Meredith stopped, and until Christina made her first sarcastic remark of the day. She didn't treat them like any other patient's family, she treated them as if her own.

But even if the were her own flesh and blood, she couldn't rid them from this kind of pain

____

None of them had any idea why they suddenly found themselves together in the hallway that held so many memories. It was the as Alex might say, the 'Originals'. He, Meredith, Izzie and Christina were there contemplating the loss of a loved one.

Meredith was truly a sight to see. She was positioned on the gurney with her legs crossed and her eye focused on a bottle of tequila, almost willing herself not to touch it.

"Is it wrong that I really want to drink this?" She asks everyone. Their only answer is a shrug. She had just broken the news on her being pregnant and was followed by congratulations.

"Almost as wrong as I want you too." Alex mutters.

"He died today" Izzie says looking at everyone slowly. "He died today last year."

"Yep." Christina says. "That's O'Malley, always missing out on the good stuff." She grins.

"We have to have one rule." Meredith says, looking around her into the faces of the people she had called—she still calls—her family. "No moping."

"My god Mer, you have changed." Alex smirks. "I'm all up for that." He says looking at Izzie in particular. Izzie shoots him a glare and he chuckles. "You don't know how up for it I am."

"I'm in." Christina sighs. "It's been a hell of a year, we somehow deserve a break."

"I cannot believe it's been a year." Izzie breathes, finally taking in her surroundings. "I actually thought we would get together earlier than that… like Christmas and stuff… I can't believe it's been a year since I've seen you guys."

"Dude. I'm married to you." Alex says and everyone laughs. "But I agree with my wife here, you guys look good." He smiles pulling Izzie closer to him.

"Oh come on Karev, we all know you're just fishing for compliments." Christina says rolling her eyes.

"Like you aren't Yang." He retorts, rubbing Izzie's leg.

"Unlike you, I can live on my own self-confidence. No need for reassurance." She teases.

"God you guys haven't changed." Meredith laughs.

"You still really think that Mer?" Izzie snaps. Alex rubs her back soothingly and everyone is quiet. "Do you think things can be the same without him?!"

"Izz. I didn't mean" Meredith says slowly. "I never meant it like that." She sighs.

"Calm down Izzie." Alex whispers in her ear.

"So… San Francisco ?" Christina says slowly, to lighten up the mood. "And Boston . Wow, you guys came a long way."

Meredith once again has her eye on the bottle of tequila. "It's been a hell of a year." She whispers. She has not been able to talk to Christina without having Alex and Izzie as a buffer and she really wasn't excited about doing that sober.

"Do you ever… think of him?" Izzie finally says. Both Alex and Christina erupt in groans. Meredith just looks at Izzie with slight satisfaction. She thought that she would have been the first one to bring him up. "Come on guys, it's his…George's death anniversary. We can't come together and not talk about him."

"I was actually thinking of doing that. With a lot of tequila in my system first." Meredith giggles. "But yeah. I think of him, regularly." She says.

"I can't even believe we're talking about this." Alex says, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Can't believe you're talking about what?" A voice said, echoing through the hall. Everyone tenses up in surprise, then familiar footsteps start walking toward them.

Bailey, Mark, Derek, Owen, Callie, Lexie and the chief had walked through that hall. The four straightened up once they knew they weren't alone anymore.

"I for one can't believe I never knew where you interns hung out." Derek smiles at Meredith. His gaze suddenly meets the tequila bottle and looks at her questioningly.

"Re-si-dents." Izzie corrects.

"Oh. You morons will always be interns to me." Bailey laughs.

"Meredith? What's with the death glare on the bottle?" Callie questions lightly.

"I'm pregnant." She mutters, not looking up. Murmurs of congratulations come up. Mark pats Derek on the back and Lexie comes up to her sister and hugs her. They didn't have the best of relationships, and Meredith leaving didn't do anything to help that, but they got along.

"So what were we talking about?" The chief asks, already knowing the answer. Derek sits beside Meredith and she leans on him for support. Unknowing to her, Owen grabs the bottle at Derek's signal and sits down beside Christina.

No one spoke. They didn't want to bring the sad, cold memories they spent a year to burry. But Alex proved the strongest, "Don't you hate how people keep on telling you that their sorry for our losses, but the real deal is that you really want them to say: Fuck you for dying George?"

"Alex!" Izzie gasps and Meredith dissolves into a fit of giggles.

"Actually, I was thinking the same thing." Meredith smiles at Derek. "Fuck you George for leaving us to wallow in our pathetic misery."

"I don't think this is the best way…" Owen says slowly.

"What other way would there be?" Christina says. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually agree with Alex on this one."

"Right back at ya!" Alex chuckles and pumps his fist in the air.

"I'm pissed off at him for dying." Bailey says smiling, shaking her head at the same time. "If that helps."

"I hate how he can't be here anymore." Callie says quietly. "I hate that."

"We should tell him what we hate about him." Derek says. "It's our last chance to be immature. Right Mer?" he smiles.

"I don't know about you, when this kid comes, I'm definitely not going to be the boring, mean one." She laughs. Mark gives out a hoot and Lexie slaps his arm. "But Derek's right. We're pissed at him for leaving, what better way than this?"

"Maybe…" The chief starts.

"Chief, you do know he'd love this idea." Bailey says. "Besides, the goal for this day is to remember him right? Like Grey said, what better way than this?"

"Shepherd." Derek fake-coughs.

"Shut it McDreamy, she was Grey long before you came into the picture." Bailey smirks. Derek feels offended and Meredith just laughs. Meredith kisses her wounded husband on the cheek and looks at Izzie,

"Look Izz, you don't have to say anything." She says slowly. "We all understand." She says, trying to smile.

The truth was, it was almost a week since they could tell Izzie that her best friend had died, the stress of her surgery had put her in a deep mental state and they couldn't risk adding to that stress. Since then, Izzie had been sore about the topic because they didn't tell her and she assumed that they thought she didn't want to know.

"No." Izzie snaps. "He was my friend too." She says looking at Meredith. Alex rubs her back soothingly and Meredith just avoids her glare.

"Okay. Christina, you should start." That was the first word Lexie uttered since she got here. Somehow, with everyone here, her place was threatened. Meredith went back to being Christina's first best friend and once again she felt like an outsider. They seem to have forgotten that he was her best friend too.

"Fine. I hate the fact that he was selfish enough to die." She says boldly. Everyone breaks out in cheers and wolf calls. Owen looks at his girlfriend concernedly and Christina just pats his cheek for reassurance. She grabs the bottle and takes a large swig, ultimately making this game a lot bolder.

"Aww, come on! I can't drink!" Meredith whines.

"Blame your husband." Mark laughs.

"I hate you Derek" She says before she places a large kiss on his lips. They continue to make out but Owen interrupts them with a cough.

"Not to ruin the moment. It's my turn." He smiles, Christina hands him a bottle and he drinks in. "I hate the fact he could have been a better trauma surgeon than me." Owen sighs. "I hate the fact I won't ever be able to find out if he was better than me." He passes the bottle to the plastic surgeon, he feels his eyes heating up. Meredith smiles at him in satisfaction and Christina gives him a small kiss.

"I hate that my girlfriend loved him before me." Mark says and drinks up. Lexie smiles up at him and kisses him on the cheek. He was relieved to finally get this off his chest and he was somehow disturbed that the kiss didn't reassure him very much.

George and Lexie had something they never did, they were friends first which Mark realized was very helpful in a relationship. He recalled all the times he would hear her call out his name during a nightmare and shudders. Lexie looks at him questioningly and Mark nods out that he's fine.

"I hate that he cared more about his friends than his wife." Callie sighs and drinks from the bottle. "But then that's when I knew that no matter what happened between me and George, he would always have my back." She says, wiping a tear that has fallen. Mark pulls his best friend to him and gives her a small squeeze. He is now holding both Lexie and Callie together.

"That's not in the rules!" Meredith cries out.

"What's the rule?" Bailey says amusedly.

"No moping and this is hate part." Alex says incoherently as he buries his nose into his wife's hair.

"Anyways, I hate the fact that the man could knock me down with one punch." Alex laughs, his voice breaking. He leans against the wall and brings Izzie with him. He feels the heated stare that's sent to him by every person. "I also hate that his death changed my wife." He says as he takes a swig of the tequila.

"Who knew that Grey's alchoholic tendencies could actually come in handy?" Bailey chuckles. She ignores the glare that Derek sends her way. "I hate that his death made me a worse doctor because it took at least a month to stop seeing him in any of my patient's places. I hate that I still shudder when I hear the name John Doe. I hate that I will always attach his face to anyone with the name George." Bailey says sadly and takes a small sip from the bottle and passes it to little Grey.

"Do you think it will ever stop?" Izzie pipes up. No one speaks, then the chief shakes his head.

"It gets slightly better but it will always be there." He sighs. "Anyways, Grey" He says looking at the younger sibling. "You're turn."

"There are a lot of things I love about George---" She says before she's cut off by angry glares.

"Not. In. The. Rules." Meredith says. "We can do that later."

"Yep, listen to the hormonal pregnant lady." Alex quips, causing everyone to laugh.

"But there's only one thing I hate about him." Lexie continues. "I hate that he never saw what was in front of him, he thought that nobody paid attention to him but he couldn't possibly imagine the kinds of friends he had. Old and new" She sighs and drinks from the bottle. Mark pulls her closer to him and kisses her forehead tenderly.

She passes the bottle to the chief and he takes a small sip, thinking that it wasn't appropriate to be drinking heavily. "I hate that he sometimes whined to much. Like the rest of the interns." Everyone nodded to that and didn't take offense. "But I'd always figure out that he'd do it for the sake of his patients or his friends so then I wouldn't even be a little bit mad that he got the best of me." He smiles and offers the bottle to Derek.

"I hate that he made the love of my life really sad, and as Christina said, he was being really selfish when he wasn't thinking of what his death would do to his friends." He sighs, kissing Meredith tenderly on her forehead and takes a large drink and passes is on to his wife.

Meredith looks at the bottle with deep concentration. "I hate that his death tore us all apart." she says. "I hate that we couldn't even function without him." She says sadly and passes the bottle to Izzie without hesitation.

Tears fall from majority of their eyes, all of them feeling the moment. "I hate him because he didn't even get to say goodbye. I hate that the last time I saw him was in a casket, pale and white." She cries. "I hate that he left me."

"We should...." Bailey starts. "We should say what we all loved--love about George O'Malley, for old times sake. Grey should start."

"In contrast to what I said earlier" She laughs lightly, trying to bring up the mood. "I love that he was the one that brought us all together, we've spent a year apart and we're here today because of him. I love him for that. I love him for being the glue that keeps us all together even though he's not here anymore." She smiles, leaning into Derek and wipes her tears with his shirt.

"I love that he made Lexie happy and was her first friend." Mark says to everyone, lifting up the bottle and taking a drink. He passes it to his quiet girlfriend.

"I love that he would always listen to what you had to say. He wouldn't judge you over anything." She sighs and takes a sip. Mark squeezes her hand soothingly and rubs her back to make her calm down. She's crying now and Mark really wants to kiss all the tears away.

Christina looks at the bottle and takes a small sip, the total opposite of what she took from earlier. "I love that he was a great surgeon and an even better friend." She smiles and passes on the bottle. She brings her knees up to her chest and rubs them carefully, trying to fight of the tears coming. Owen smiles at the sight of her, he knows that she'd rather be tough but he wishes she'd let her guard down for her own sake.

"I love that he was going into the army to serve America and he took pride in that." He smiles and drinks from the almost empty bottle.

Callie stares at the ceiling thoughtfully, she doesn't have a good idea yet and is waiting for it to come to her. "I love him for having the greatest heart. I love that he couldn't stop caring whether he wanted to or not." She says.

"I actually found that annoying." Alex quips. Everyone erupts in groans and Christina tosses her pen at Alex. Alex feigns hurt and whines. "Izz."

"You deserved it." She giggles, kissing his cheek.

"You're a jackass Alex." Meredith smiles. "Always ruining the moment."

Callie feels slightly hurt, she thinks by now she would be used to the interruptions caused by them, and she chose to ignore it. "Your turn Derek." She smiles.

"I love that he was George and that he was real." He sighs, kissing Meredith's head. "I love that he would always treat people with the amount of respect they deserved."

Derek never really grieved for the boy he used to share his cereal with. He never really thought about him without Meredith by his side. For him, the numbness was better. Closure wasn't always a good thing, he didn't want to let go of dear George O'Malley just yet.

Alex took the bottle from Derek's shaking hand. He too was on the verge of crying. He hadn't dealt with his death very well. He was well aware that if Izzie wasn't there for him to take care of, he would probably have ended up dead on the streets.

"I love that he was my best friend, even though I treated him like shit, he would always come back even when we didn't deserve it." He says, drinking from the bottle. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, as if that would stop him from seeing George O'Malley in everyone of these people he called his family. "I love that he was the only guy on my side." He grins.

"I love that he was my intern and I had the one in a lifetime chance to be his boss." Chief sighs. He has never encountered an intern, or resident, as dedicated and talented as George O'Malley.

Alex grabbed Meredith's cold hand. He looked down at there linked hands and tried to remember when was the last time he was truly happy. It was always in Seattle, this was his home and nothing could change that. Meredith smiles at him in vain. She gives out a small nod to her friend signaling that it was okay. Even evil spawns needed comfort too.

He then looked at his wife. She was carrying the sad expression that always seemed to be on her face nowadays. Alex wondered what it was like to live a life in pain, he wondered if it was anything like this. No, it's not. He thinks. He still has his beautiful wife, who sometimes failed to be present but did the best she can. He had a good job and was at the top of his game. No, he wasn't living in pain if he could control that.

"I love that he was always there for you." Izzie states simply. There really isn't a better reason than that.

"I love that he was one of us, I love that he was a part of my family. I love that I got to raise him and take care of him when I could." Bailey says. "I love that he still loves everyone even when he's not here." She says. "I love that I can still feel him, even at the oddest hours, I could imagine him standing across from me." She sighs.

The chief rubs her back comfortingly and she starts to cry. Soon, Izzie does too and Lexie follows.

"So much for the rule." Alex says, squeezing both his wife and Meredith's hand.

"I bet you're trying not to break it yourself." Meredith replies with a far away look in her eyes. She rests her head on her husbands chest as he wraps his hand around her.

She closes her eyes and imagines the mixer. She sees George eyeing her and walking towards her. She sees herself walk the other way briskly, trying not to get involved with a man on her first month in Seattle. Little did she know, the man she was going to meet later that night was going to be the man she spent the rest of her life with. She transports herself to her first house party, with him and Christina grinding up and down inappropriately. They always did have the best of fun. She goes to herself and Izzie lying in his bed, then them together again lying under the Christmas tree. She brings her mind to the last time she saw him, at the wedding.

That was the last time all of them were truly happy and she really wanted to start again.

"Mer?" Derek asks concernedly.

"Hmm?" She says looking up at Derek with the big grey eyes that were once so empty.

"Where were you just there?" He says, pulling her closer to him and burries his nose in her hair.

"I miss him" She says as her voice quivers. She snuggles further into his grasp.

A sigh erupts from Izzie's throat, thinking about how desperate she was to actually see him again. She feels her heart lift when she hears the faint call of her name. She realizes that it's Alex.

"Izzie." He says silently. He knows this look. He's been dealing with this new formation of Izzie since they moved. "Talk to me please." He whispers, trying to control all the emotions rushing out of his body.

"I miss Seattle." She says, understanding. This was their process, distract each other from the topic at hand. Except she was leading back to the mess they left behind. "I miss the rain and I miss my friends."

"Then let's move back." He states simply.

"Okay" For the first time in months he realizes that he was wrong. Moving forward had nothing to do with forgetting what you left behind, wherever you go, even if you run as fast as you can, the past will always be there. Like a haunting ghost who's there every step of a way. Except its not a ghost, it's George. George was family.

Bailey hugged everyone and murmured a goodbye. She stood up and walked away to clean up her face. She had patients to tend to now and she had realized they had been talking for more than an hour. The chief quickly leaves and all the attendings leave to give them their space.

Lexie and the four of them are the only ones left. "He tore us all apart." Meredith repeats, rubbing her stomach.

"But he brought us back together." Izzie adds. "That's all that counts."

"He made us a family." Christina says. "He made me stop seeing things in black and white. You all made me one of the best surgeons in my year." She sighs.

"He's not gone." Lexie says. "We'll always have a part of him and he'll always have a part of us."

"We get through the day, despite all of this." Alex states, "We get through the day because we know its what he wants."

"He would never want us to suffer." Meredith says. "So we can't say fuck you George for dying. He was kind-hearted George who never wanted to hurt us."

"So what do we say?"

"We say that we love him and we always will. We say that we won't ever forget him." Izzie says.

"We also say that we grew because of it and we'll keep on growing because now we have each other." Lexie smiles.

Everyone except Izzie groans at her sappy statement. "But yes, I speak for myself when I say that I'll be there. I'm not leaving, not again at least."

"Me too." Meredith says. "Derek and I've decided to probably move back to Seattle to be nearer to home."

"It's not home, not without all of us around." Christina sighs.

"We can make it home if we chose too." Izzie retorts. "We have each other and that's better than not having anyone at all." She sighs.

"So that's a deal? He brought us back together and we're not going to drift apart anymore?" Meredith questions.

"I'm in this." Alex shrugs.

"Me too." Lexie smiles.

They all felt the fifth, now sixth person, in their midst. Meredith felt a tear trickle down her cheek and she tried to wipe it away.

"It's been a hell of a year." Alex says.

"It has been a hell of a year." Meredith repeats.

It was a dark and gloomy day and all of them had the right reasons for it to be. It was a dark and gloomy day but they could all see the year ending differently.

So today, they were grieving for the loss of George O'Malley, son, brother and friend.

But for the rest of the year, they were celebrating the life of George O'Malley, the person with the biggest heart anyone could hope for.

THE END.