Song is Just Say You're Not Into it by Mayday Parade

Don't Let it Say Goodbye

In a show of hands
Who has said these words before?

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I'm so sorry,"

The words are broken and honest and his voice is thick with tears. His eyes are pleading and Merlin has to look away.

And a show of hearts on the floor,
Who had ever meant them more?

Merlin's face is set. Hard and cold and there's no trace of that beaming grin that brings light into his soul. All traces of the sweet, beautiful boy he knows so well are gone and Arthur feels his heart break a little bit more.

So I'll swallow my pride,
If you'll stay for the years.
And watch me spin circles,
As I disappear.

Merlin's hand stills on the door knob as Arthur speaks again.

"I can't do this without you Merlin. I can't- …I don't-….I need you,"

The words tumble out, desperate and frantic and Merlin can almost find it in himself to believe him. Almost.

The soft click as the door closes behind him is all it takes to send the walls crashing around him.

Arthur breaks down.

The night comes, dark and heavy, and the soft click resounds again as the young boy sneaks back into the room and straight to the prince's beside.

Tonight we forget everything,
For the night.

They're arguing and it's serious and Merlin doesn't think he can ever forgive Arthur; but none of that matters here, now. Because this is something more than them, something bigger and frighteningly uncontrollable and building so fast that they're barely hanging on.

Clothes are discarded and a lithe body slides between royal sheets once again.

Hearts they don't lie,
They just quiver in fear,
As you say…

They've done this before, so many times, but never like this. Never with this hate and this anger and this frustrated hopelessness because they can't fight this, can't control it, can't hide from it.

They waste no time. Their kisses are brutal, their touches bruising and the only thing tender about the whole episode is Arthur's flesh as Merlin bits and tears and at his shoulder and neck.

Merlin does not look at Arthur as the prince slides all the way into him in one powerful thrust. He stares out the window, his mind wishing he were elsewhere while his body says otherwise as a cacophony of pants and groans fills the air . Finally, he comes, white and blazing, and barely gives Arthur time to do so himself before sliding out of the bed.

He collects his discarded clothing and dresses in silence, not once glancing back at the man he may once have loved, just a few distant hours ago.

There are no words between them and the silence hangs in the air, hostile and heavy, ringing in Arthur's ears. There is nothing for them to say and the fact pains him as he collapses into his mattress, sticky with sweat and semen and still panting into his pillow.

That night Arthur doesn't sleep. He fears he never will, without Merlin by his side.