Between Jealousy and Distraction
Chapter One
It's a struggle trying to maintain your composure, and sustain your integrity, while falling totally in love. And that is what I have been doing for a while now. Falling in love is easy, but dealing with your feelings is not.
I don't know if any of you have felt this way before, but if you have you will know and understand what I mean when I say that it is the most awful challenge I have ever had to face. In this game, I'm supposed to be the strong one, but then when she levels me with her hazel eyes, my weakness is exposed and I know I'm done for.
I'd been sat at my desk just staring at a photograph of our latest victim for nearly a whole half hour. If I'm honest with you, I wasn't thinking about the case at all.
As I stared at the picture of the recently deceased Caucasian male, briefly taking in his stubbled jaw, close cropped brown hair, and small eyes, I was reminded of Ian Faulkner. I subconsciously reached down and gently squeezed my big toe through the leather of my boot.
When he had first arrived here, Ian had been a major distraction to both Maura and I, but for totally different, totally distressing, reasons.
I first realised that something was seriously wrong back then when Ma was the one who told me about Ian. Not Maura, but Ma. That had sent alarm bells off like a four-alarm fire in my mind, because Maura was always one to confide in me. Why had Maura not told me about Ian?
The next troubling thought was why was I so bothered that Maura hadn't mentioned Ian to me herself?
And to top it all off nicely, though not helping to make anything easier, I managed to find the answer to all of my own questions; Jealousy.
I, Jane Rizzoli, was jealous of Ian Faulkner!
But, as much distress as he had caused in the past, I now believed that Ian was not the source of my troubles. The source of my new wave of distress was another more recent change in Maura's behaviour. It was subtle, but there was definitely something up. I had asked her countless times if she was alright, and every time she said she was fine.
"I'm just tired, Jane."
But what exactly it was that Maura was tired of, I hadn't asked.
Maura checked her phone with a smile, seeing another text message waiting to be read.
'Maura, can't wait to see you. Pick you up about 7?'
'Great.'
"Maura?" Jane entered the office, and Maura hurriedly placed her phone back into her pocket. "Are you busy?" Jane noticed Maura hide her phone away. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?"
"No, Jane. No." Maura smiled. "I'm glad you're here."
Jane came to stand in front of Maura's desk. She ran a hand through her hair, and looked at the doctor with a fond smile. "Got any results for me, Maur?"
"Yes." Maura passed a folder across her desk. "Analysis shows that Robbie Fraser was killed by the impact. There was a high level of alcohol in his system, but no evidence to suggest that the fall was anything other than an accident. No homicide."
"You're sure?"
"99.99852 per cent sure." Maura smiled as she felt her phone vibrate from her pocket.
"Ok, ok, Rain Man!" Jane chuckled, tucking the folder under her arm. "Thanks Maura. That's some weight off my mind." Jane made to leave, but then turned back round. "Maur, do you want to..." The detective found Maura busy reading a message on her phone. "...come out for drinks tonight?"
Maura tapped out a reply to the message, not answering Jane straight away.
"Maura?" Jane took a step back towards the desk. "You okay? Maura?"
"Sorry Jane." Maura put her phone down. "What were you saying?"
"I just wanted to know if you're coming out for drinks tonight?"
Maura bit her lip, and Jane instantly knew she was hiding something.
"Umm...Where did you want to go, Jane?"
"Just to the Robber." Jane frowned at her friend as the ME glanced at her phone as it vibrated again. "Is something the matter, Maur?"
"No. I – I can't come out for drinks, sorry Jane. I have plans tonight." Maura's eyes vainly scanned the detective's.
"Oh, ok." Jane shrugged, mentally noting that Maura only ever had 'plans' with anyone other than herself if they were ME plans, parent plans, or guy plans.
"Plans? As in guyplans?"
Jane was hurt when Maura smiled in answer to her question, the smile even lighting up the doctor's hazel eyes.
"Yes."
Jane felt as though a screw was turning inside her, pushing all the air out of her chest and threatening to suffocate her.
"Oh." Jane resorted to her failsafe method of covering up what she was feeling. "Well, have a nice night. As long as you're not seeing Ian..." Jane flashed a tiny smile and turned to leave, not noticing Maura's cringe as she turned to the door. "You know where I'll be if you change your mind. See ya, Maur."
Maura noticed the slight dullness in Jane's usually sparkling eyes as she spoke, and the hunch in her shoulders as she left the office.
"Jane!" Maura called out quickly, but Jane had already disappeared. Maura sighed and picked up her phone from the desk. She tapped at the touch screen and dialled, pressing the speakerphone button. The ringing of the phone echoed in her office.
"Hi, this is Ian. Sorry I can't answer your call right now. Please leave me a message. Ta."
"Ian, it's Maura..."
Out in the corridor, loath to hearing anymore, Jane sprinted for the elevator. She made it inside just as the doors were closing, and crushed her eyes closed. She had been joking when she had warned Maura about seeing Ian! He couldn't be back in Boston, could he?
Jane leaned her head back against the metal door and took deep breaths, trying desperately to stop herself from punching a hole in the door, or bringing up the lunch she had wolfed down earlier in the day.
"So do you want to get a drink tonight, Jane?" Frost looked up from his desk as Jane stomped back into the bullpen.
"Not really. I'm a bit tired." Jane threw down the folder onto her desk and sat down with her boots propped up on her desk. "I think I'm just gonna have a quiet one tonight."
"Catching up with the Doc?" Frost asked, looking at Jane, his eyebrows raised and a slight smirk on his lips.
"Maura says she has plans tonight." Jane huffed and pulled her computer keyboard onto her lap.
"Oh, I see how it his." Frost stood up, and made his way over to the coffee machine. "So you're too tired to have a brew at the Robber with me and Korsak, but if Maura wasn't busy you'd totally be up to going out with her..."
"No." Jane said, not looking up from the document she was typing. "I just don't feel like it tonight."
"Ohhkaayyy..." Frost drawled, turning his attention back to pouring his coffee. "But it's Friday... so don't say I didn't offer."
"I got the beers in." Korsak indicated to three frosty mugs on the table as Frost joined him in their usual booth. "Is Jane not joining us?"
"Nope. She says she didn't feel like a drink." Frost took a grateful sip of the cold brew. "Ahh, thanks. I needed this."
"That's not like Jane..." Korsak thoughtfully ran his finger over the condensation on the slowly perspiring surplus beer mug. "She got a date?"
"Not that I know of. She said she was tired and didn't feel like a drink."
"That's not like Jane at all! What about Dr Isles?" Korsak raised his eyebrows. "Is she not joining us either?"
"No. She's busy."
"With Jane?" Korsak's eyebrows rose even higher. "Coincidence..."
"No. Jane said that she was having a quiet one and that Dr Isles already had plans for tonight."
"Oh..." Korsak reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a quarter. "I guess that means we can toss for Jane's beer."
"Sure." Frost smiled. "I call heads."
"Ok." Korsak flipped the coin and caught it again. "Haha! Tails! Sorry Frost."
"No sweat Korsak. You paid for that beer anyway!" Frost smirked.
"Anyway..." Korsak leaned forward conspiratorially. "So, Frost... if Jane and Maura are not spending the evening together, and Jane seemed too sullen to come out for a drink, do you really stillthink that Jane and Maura have 'a thing' going on?"
He made air quotes, then sipped at his beer, waiting for Frost to reply.
"Firstly, I never said that Jane was 'sullen'." Frost smiled. "Secondly, I'm not sure that they ever started anything. They just seem so..." Frost paused at Korsak's expression, unsure of how to explain. "Come on! You've seen how they are together!"
"Yes, I have." The older detective nodded.
"How can they act like that around each other and not have anything going on?"
"I don't know...but I think it's high time we did some detective work. You in, Frost?"
"I'm in!" Frost raised his beer. "And I think we can convince Frankie to help too...maybe even stage an intervention if we need to."
"I'll drink to that." Korsak lifted his beer in agreement. "I can't bear Jane being so down. She deserves to be happy... Dr Isles too!"
Maura left the precinct without seeing Jane again. She knew that the detective was avoiding her. Jane was probably holed up in the basement, up to her eyeballs in evidence or cold cases like she always was when she wanted to hide.
When Maura got home, she fed Bass before heading to the bathroom to get ready for her evening. It was almost 6.30 when there was a knock at the door and Angela entered the house.
"Hello?" Angela called out, standing in the empty room. "Maura? Jane?"
"Hi Angela! Be there in a minute."
Angela sat down on the couch and waited for Maura to emerge. "Oh, Maura! That dress is stunning."
Maura beamed at her best friend's mother. "Thank you, Angela."
"Is Jane not here, then?"
"No." Maura smoothed down some non-existent creases on her dress. "She's having drinks at the Robber..."
"Oh, so you're expecting someone?"
Maura nodded.
"Then I suppose I'll get out of your hair. I just wanted to see if Jane was here. She wasn't picking up her cell phone."
"Really?" Maura looked worried. "That's not like Jane."
"Don't worry, Maura. She probably forgot to put it on to charge." Angela smiled. "You know how distracted she gets..."
"Mmmm..." Maura mused aloud.
"I'll give Vince a call, see if he's seen Jane. Anyway, I'll leave you to it, Maura. Have a nice night." Angela opened the front door. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
Angela smiled at Maura and turned to leave, running headlong into Ian, and almost knocking the posy of flowers out of his hand.
"Ian!"
Jane threw herself onto the couch as soon as she got home. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily, blindly reaching out for Jo Friday as the scruffy dog leapt onto the couch with her.
"Hi Jo." Jane ruffled the dog's soft head. "How are you doing? Fancy an early dinner and bed?"
The dog looked up at Jane, her head cocked to one side. Jane opened her eyes to look down at her furry confidant.
"You can even share the bed with me tonight..." Jane unclipped her badge and gun from her belt and placed them on the coffee table before standing up and shuffling
into her small kitchen.
Jane fixed dinner for herself and the dog. She nursed a beer and picked at her food while Jo Friday devoured her dinner in record time. When her cell phone rang, Jane ignored it. She sighed and looked at the clock - 8pm.
"Is it too early to go to bed, Jo?" Jane asked the dog, as she dragged herself into the bedroom.
Jane stripped down to her boxers and tank top and crawled under the creased, white covers. Jo Friday jumped up onto the end of the bed and snuggled down, her beady eyes shining up at Jane in the dim light. "Goodnight, Jo."
"Ian!" Jane sat up in bed with a start, Jo Friday barking in shock at the sudden awakening.
Jane had growled out Ian's name in distress, her dreams featuring disturbing images ranging all the way from Maura and Ian, to even the in-growing toenail he had treated for Jane.
"Son of a bitch!" Jane rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock – 10.34pm. Jo barked again. "Quiet Jo! God...I can't believe that guy!"
Jane swung her legs out of bed and noticed the tiny light on her cell phone flashing in the darkness. Jane grabbed the phone. 7 missed calls from her mother, 1 from Korsak, and 3 new texts in her inbox. Jane opened the text from Frost first.
'Hey J! Are you sure we can't tempt you to get a beer with us?'
Jane rolled her eyes, but was glad that Frost cared enough about her to pester her. The next two text messages were from her mother.
'Jane! Answer your phone! Ma x'
Jane sighed.
'Jane, Maura has gone out with Ian tonight! Did you know about this?!'
Jane fought a losing battle for composure, and just as she was about to throw the phone across the room, it buzzed with another incoming message. Maura!
'Jane, I'm sorry for not having a drink with you tonight. I'm going to be honest with you. Ian is in town. Don't be mad. Sorry again. See you soon? M x'
The fact that Maura had now admitted that Ian was in town was a slap in the face for Jane. It proved that it was all true and real. Maura was on a date with a fugitive, a virtuous criminal, and the man she had called 'the love of her life'.
With a yell, Jane threw her phone as hard as she could across the room. It hit the wall and came apart. This violent action started Jo barking again, and she crawled across the bed to be closer to Jane.
"It should be me." Jane didn't notice the dog until Jo laid her head on her knee. "It should be me...with her." Jane rubbed the dog's head once to stop her from whining. "Sorry Jo."
Jane sat in an angry silence for a while, stroking Jo Friday's head in the darkness of her bedroom. She glanced at the clock – 10.52pm.
"You know, it's not actually that late yet. And if Maura can go out..." Jane stood up from the bed and went over to the bathroom. "And I need a drink!"
Fifteen minutes later, Jane was showered and dressed in a new pair of black jeans and a khaki tank top.
She grabbed her favourite black leather jacket from the closet. Maura had once called it "The pulling jacket," and the thought made Jane smirk in spite of herself as she slipped into the fitted jacket, before sitting down on the bed to pull on a pair of distressed combat boots.
Jane half-heartedly made her bed and Jo Friday watched as Jane stooped down to pick up the cell phone from where it had landed.
Like her heart, Jane's cell phone appeared broken, but somehow it was still working.
Jane put the phone back together and tapped at the screen.
"Hi Ma. Yeah I'm ok... Yeah I knew about Maura...I said I'm okay, didn't I?... I'm not raising my voice! Ma, come on!"
There was a long pause.
"Ok, Ma. Well, I'm going out tonight too...I'm not angry! ...Nope. Why would you think that?... I'm not being rash...Yes, I know. I'll try not to...Yes...For God's sake, Ma! I'll try not to overdo it!"
Jane's tone softened slightly at her mother's concerned tone.
"Ok, Ma. I'll see you tomorrow...Thanks. Bye."
Jane hung up and tapped at her screen again, unable to stop another shameless smirk from creeping onto her face.
"Hi. I need a cab to the Corner Club... Yeah, on Tremont ...as soon as possible."
A/N: Thanks for reading! x
