This was supposed to be short episode tag to „Blood feud" - a conversation between Jane and Lisbon focussing on Rigsby. But it obviously had a mind of its own: Somehow it turned into a four chapter piece. Now it contains a cathartic talk between two slightly estranged friends after a difficult time for both of them, which has been long overdue. There's not much action involved, and mostly, some rather heavy topics are being discussed. Still, there's quite a bit of humour as well, to compensate for the seriousness, and because, let's face it, those two just need their banter. Some might say, Lisbon and Jane are OOC in this fic. But I like to think, that they actually have their moments of pure honesty and frankness with each other, where they allow themselves to reveal weaknesses, even though we don't see so much of it in the show. It's focussing on their friendship, but there're hints at something more between them... Even though it's a dialogue for the most part, it conveys Lisbon's point of view.
Anyway, as this started out as an episode tag, chronologically it's following the events in „Blood feud" and contains some spoilers as well.
And, of course, unfortunately, I do not own „The Mentalist", and I have to admit, that I'm very envious of Bruno Heller because of this... So, that I can borrow those wonderful characters for a little while is my only consolation...
Please excuse the mistakes – I'm still no native speaker and there's really no hope that I'll ever be.
Reviews are very welcome. I'm still very new to this whole writing-stories-myself-business and I would really appreciate some feedback.
Food for thought
Chapter 1 – You can't make an omlett without breaking the eggs
Half an hour after agent LaRoche had left Lisbon's office, found the two remaining occupants still in the same positions he had discovered them in: The senior agent hard at work, her consultant sitting close by on the edge of her desk watching her with a look of incomprehension crossing his handsome face approximately every five minutes. The rest of the time, his expression varied from fond sympathy to infinite boredom. From time to time, she would glance up at him from her papers with a sigh, something he always responded to with an evil smirk.
„That one's due to me, again, right?" he would ask proudly.
And she would give him an annoyed nod and return to her work. Another half hour passed in that manner, before Lisbon straightened up in her chair with a groan: „Hmh, Jane? Would you mind giving me a proper demonstration on how that perfectly cooked meal you talked about earlier, could possibly be connected with a change in my attitude towards paperwork?"
„Is that your subtle attempt to make me cook dinner for you tonight, agent Lisbon?" he mocked her.
She gave him the Lisbon-death-glare nr. 23, the ‚You're really close to dying, mister, and you better give me a very good reason to let you live'-look, before she answered: „Well, after all this ‚superfluous' filing, most of it due to your horseplay, I'm as hungry as a hunter. And who knows, you might even convince me that I should refrain from doing more of this trench work tomorrow night. As an extra bonus, as long as you're preparing food for me, you won't be able to do anything else to cause me even more paperwork..."
His subsequent grin wasn't at all reassuring to her: „Oh, I don't know. I'm sure, you're underestimating me. I could easily find something unlawful to do while cooking. As it is, I could even come up with something bordering on the illegal before the actual cooking starts. How about swiping some groceries at the store?"
„Fortunately, my fridge is brimmed with food. I made the mistake of going shopping with Van Pelt after yoga. In a weak moment, she managed to guilt-trip me into trying for a healthier lifestyle. You know, like doing my own cooking." She wrinkled her nose in obvious disgust: „I have honestly no idea how to get a grip on all those greens and what not. You gonna help?", Lisbon countered him with a pleased smile.
„Ah, yes, dangerous woman, our Grace. Are you really inviting me into your apartment and your kitchen, Lisbon? How could I ever resist a temptation like that? Snooping around in you inner sanctum with your full permission? You're definitely on!" He looked like a gleeful child.
„No snooping, mister! You have an important job to do, no time for any of your usual mischief." she replied in a no-nonsense tone of voice.
„There's the real beauty of it – I might be a man, but I'm still fully capable of multi-tasking, when the need arises. But don't fret – I already know all there is to know about your home. So, if you didn't do a full redecoration and added a big bunch of new things during the last weeks, I think, I'll be able to restrain myself tonight." Jane was sporting a very unusual expression for him, that Lisbon had a difficult time to read. She seemed to recognize both guilt and insecurity and decided to wheedle an explanation out of him. Normally, the best course of action to reach that goal with the blond man, was to fake complete indifference. So she decided to do just that: „I won't ask, no I won't..."
„Ask me what, Lisbon?" he promptly inquired.
„No, I won't ask and I really don't want to know, either..." she added as further bait.
The consultant whined: „Ah, come on, I know you're dying to know how I could've possibly gained all my insights into Lisbon-world."
Now she had him exactly where she wanted him. And on to the final punch: „Jaaaaaaaane!"
„Okay, if you're not interested, I won't tell you." he pouted.
Satisfied, she mock-threatened him: „Spit it out or I'll use your beloved leather couch as firewood in the next CBI summer break bonfire."
„What an utterly spiteful thing to threaten me with! You're getting nastier every year! But you wouldn't do that to Berta, would you? She feels threatened enough by the presence of lovely Linda here in your office. No need to be extra cruel. She might be a bit old, but she still has a heart that can break, you know?"
She relished his complacent smirk and congratulated herself on a job well done: „So, I'll just punch your nose as usual then."
And just as expected, he caved in: „Alright, alright, no violence necessary. I'll spill the beans. But you won't like it."
„Jane, you didn't do something creepy like breaking into my apartment and watching me sleep at night, did you?" she asked, a touch of real worry entering her voice.
Her friend replied with genuine indignation: „Ah, come on, Lisbon, I'm not a perv. And no breaking was involved. I got the key from your janitor."
„What?!" the agent exclaimed in anger.
Jane, satisfied with having gained back the upper hand, couldn't stop himself from adding fuel to the fire: „Yes, very likeable fellow, by the way, maybe a bit gullible. But I found that rather endearing and convenient. We hit it off right from the start."
At this point, Lisbon really wanted to get to the bottom of this: „When did you get into my place and what the hell did you have to do there?"
„Well, you might find it a tad uncanny, but please don't punch me too hard, will you? Promise me!" he showed signs of honest uncertainty and even some candid fear.
The blond man's reply didn't do anything to allay her growing aggravation: „I'm not promising anything! This is starting to sound really shady, Jane. If you don't come up with a very convincing explanation ASAP, I'll do more than punch you!"
He took a deep breath and in a show of completely alien behaviour for him, he averted his eyes in obvious shame for a moment. He stood up from his place at her desk and went over to her sofa instead, evidently in need of putting some space between them. He sat down, examining his hands in his lap irresolutely, before he seemed to come to a decision. Subsequently, he looked her straight in the eyes with honest sincerity: „The truth it is then. But before I start, please let me stress, that I am really sorry, okay?"
And when she gave him an encouraging nod, he carried on: „It was during my time in Vegas. I knew you were on a case out of town because it was on the news and I felt truly down at that point. And I was pretty sure I wasn't under any surveillance from any of Red John's minions at the time, because I was supposed to be totally wasted, had taken the rear exit out of the motel, left my car in the parking lot there and used a, well, sort of borrowed car to Sacramento. So, I knew, I couldn't contact you directly, I was afraid my cell phone wasn't clean and neither was yours, but you'd left another of those messages on my mailbox and I missed you. So I went to the next best thing, your apartment, to feel some kind of proximity."
He risked a short glance at her and deemed it safe to continue: „The janitor actually recognized me from the times I'd been there with you, and when I suggested to him that you'd have to stay somewhere else overnight and that you'd left a few important things at home and had entrusted me with bringing them to you, he opened the door for me."
Another glance at his friend confirmed that she was well on her way to exploding, so he tried to placate her a bit: „I'm really sorry I invaded your privacy like that, Lisbon. And I know, there's no excuse, but I felt so damn lonely and I was close to giving up. I just had to do something. But I honestly only spent a few hours on your couch – it smells delightfully of you, by the way. And I didn't snoop, scout's honour." he concluded his confession.
