A.N. Heller! I'm Chesty's Superbest Friend, and I really love The Host. I think that people spend too much time comparing it to Twilight, and if they would just stop doing that, they might find it to be a good book.

I'm always a little disappointed at the lack of Melanie/Wanderer moments post-Pet-exchange both in the book and on FF. The added chapter in the special edition book appeased me some, but then I wanted one from Wanda's POV. I think too much focus was still put on the romance aspect of the book in the epilogue, and I wanted some sisterly love.

Enjoy! Sorry for the long A.N.! And also for all the upcoming angst. And OOCness.

Dislaimer: I don't own The Host. Of course not. But I have a friend who loves Ian because of his nose. I find it hard to fault her this. He does have a perfect nose.


Missed

There were some days where Melanie and Wanda just felt so...alone.

They hadn't ever felt as such before. Even when they still shared a body and most everyone they knew and loved was trying to kill them, they at least still had a them.

They weren't ever really alone, even when the person they most hated was themselves.

They had waited for the relief they expected when they were finally two different bodies, persons, souls, but it never came. And they had wanted it so badly...before.

Before they were a we. Before they were a they. An us. A them.

Before they were alone.


Wanda woke crying one night. Trying so hard not to scream in terror, pain, sorrow.

She thought it was still a side-effect from switching hosts, as it had only been a few days since the transfer. Everyone, including herself, was still getting used to seeing her in a body that wasn't Melanie's, and seeing Melanie in a body that wasn't hers.

The game room was full tonight, quiet, and dark when Wanda's eyes snapped open, a gasp escaping her throat so harshly that multiple people surrounding her stirred in their sleep, including (and most inevitably) Ian.

"Wanda?" he asked, his voice groggy from sleep. "Is everything okay?" His voice quieted and stabled once he realized that people were still sleeping, and that Wanda's gasp was one of...hurt. "Wanda?" he prodded again, more fiercely as her breaths escalated.

Wanda tried to keep herself under control, but the crippling feeling of utter and complete lonelinessstill stung her body, her chest, her heart. She didn't remember where she was, who she was, why she was.

Mel. Melanie. Where are you?

Silence. Total silence. Nothing.

No one.

A sob wracked her chest suddenly, and Ian pulled her to his, almost suffocating her. "Shh. Shh," he crowed in her ear with just a hint of desperation, smoothing her hair. "It's okay. It's okay." It didn't help. Not at all.

No no no no...

Melanie...Melanie, please...

I need you...

No...

Nothing.

No one.

Wanda wasn't thinking coherently anymore. Rationally. She knew that Melanie was still alive, was in her own body somewhere close by, that their bond was still strong, that their love had survived this strange transition.

But Wanda—Wanderer, and not her new, inexperienced body—fiercely missed Melanie's presence around her, with her, in her, that nothing else processed, existed, mattered.

Melanie.

Melanie, I miss you.

Melanie, I love you.

Melanie.

Her cries were muffled by Ian's shirt, but it was not enough. Jamie, who she could feel at her back, was not enough.

She sat up, holding her breath. She was afraid if she breathed too hard, her heart would break. Break even more.

"Wanda?" Ian asked again, sitting up with her, keeping his hands somewhere on her body at all times. She ignored him for the moment, searching, searching...

It didn't take her long to find her. It used to be their body, after all.

Not in as much despair as before, Wanda was mindful of the people around her as she made her way towards Melanie, Ian tight at her heels. She heard more shuffling, and, looking behind her, saw Jamie rounding up the chain. Wanda couldn't stop her smile at his half-asleep movements.

It didn't take them long. Melanie and Jared were only a few people away from them, and that's just because they arrived in the game room a little later than Lily and Jeb and Trudy and missed the spots next to Ian, Jamie, and herself.

"Melanie," Wanda whispered aloud, executing the barest of touches on Melanie's shoulder, not wanting to wake her but needing to touch her.

It was in vain, however, because before skin even touched skin, Melanie turned towards Wanderer.

"Wanda," she whispered back. And almost as if she knew why she was here, her arms were opening and Wanda was falling into them. She fit just as she remembered Jamie always fitting there when he was her size, and they both smiled.

They heard a grunt, a sigh, a confused muttered word, a shuffle, a huff, and a snore, and suddenly Jared had his arm around them, Ian was lying beside them, holding their hands, and Jamie collapsed at their feet. There was silence as they waited for the others to fall asleep before they spoke.

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

And it wasn't the same. It wouldn't ever be the same, and maybe they didn't want it to be, or maybe they did.

They weren't always together anymore, always a them, always a we, always an us.

But they weren't always alone, either.