Disclaimer : I own nothing... (Je Weep)


'She's so high, high above me,
She's so lovely, she's so high,
Like cleopatre, Jeanne of Arc,
Or Aphredites,
She's so high, high above me.'

The desert glowed yellow in the early morning light as Fenrir and Cloud roared across it, getting ever closer to home, and a nice hot shower. The past 3 weeks had taken it's toll on the SOLDIER and he wanted nothing more than to get back to his oen bed and sleep, clean, refreshed, quiet.

He sighed as the city came into view. He missed his old self, when he was carefree and had the time to spend where he wanted. But recently, he felt he was pressed for time, there always seemed to be so many other things he had to do. He was feeling on edge, just waiting for something to go wrong. But it never did, so Cloud left, taking on more delivery jobs and spending weeks at a time away from home. He never really thought about leaving and not coming back, he had to come back, Tifa was there, and Denzel and Marleane.

Tifa, she'd been with him through thick and thin, always there to help him, to save him, but him, he could never save her, he was always too late to save her. Her, the person he cared about most in the world, and he was useless to her, just a waste of space.

She'd scold him for brooding if she knew, telling him not to carry the burden on his own. But cloud was reluctant to share his problems with her, argueing that if he couldn't help her, he wasn't going to dump his problems on her either.

He took off his shades as he entered to shadow of the first building, and ran a hand through his hair. Rest was what he needed.

He stopped outside the bar and climbed off, giving fenrir one last glance, before pushing open the door and stalking inside, nodding a hello to Denzel and Marleane as he passed. Tifa wasn't around and Yuffie was minding the bar. The girl nodded to Cloud as he passed, glancing at her as he made for the stairs.

In the bathroom, Cloud stripped off and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water run over his body, scolding his skin, making him grit his teeth, as he focused on the burning sensation. The water ran off him in grey rivers, foam and suds from soap and shampoo mingling at his feet as he stood, head hanging, feeling his muscles slowly rexal in the heat and the soothing rythmic pattering of the water on his back. He stood like that, still and silent, leaning his hand on the wall of the shower head, until the water turned cold, and even then it was a few minutes before he turned it off and stepped out.

He looked about for a towel and saw it was lying under a clean pile of his own clothing, obviously left there by Tifa for when he got back. He pulled them on and opened the bathroom door. He stopped dead when he saw who was outside. Tifa gave him a soft smile and inclined her head.

"Tifa..."

Tifa looked up at him, noticing droplets of water hanging from his hair which hung slightly over his face, the water weight pulling down the tips of his spikes. "Hello Cloud."

They stood in silence for a while, looking at each other, thinking. Tifa was glad Cloud was back, and when he said her name, her heart began thumping in her chest. Her eyes scanned his face, from the water dripping from his hair, over his eyes, frowning slightly, along his cheeks, down his jaw, taking in the sight of him, releaved that he was back. She couldn't bare to think about him going and never coming back, each time he left she felt a fear. She couldn't ask him when he'd return because, the truth was, he didn't know either.

Cloud was unhappy. He gazed at Tifa's face, his eyebrows knotting together in emotion. Everytime he looked at her he felt this way, seeing her eyes, deep and dark against the white porclain skin. Her hair, long and straight, falling down her back like black slik. Her lips, soft and pink like flower petals, speaking his name, delicately into the quiet. He cared about her so much, yet he didn't have the balls to admit it. This job had been the longest one in a long time and he'd missed her, more than she could know. More than she would know. He'd never let her know.

Tifa glanced away, breaking the moment, she turned, walking into her room and closing the door. After a moment cloud stepped towards his own room and as he walked through where Tifa had been only seconds before, her scent hit him. Sweet and floral, he loved her scent, he breathed it in, closing his eyes and just breathing, just being. Then he walked quickly into his room and shut the door.

The room was dark, just how he left it 3 weeks previous. Three weeks seemed like a lifetime ago, but he couls still remember it clearly. The day he left without saying goodbye.