A/N: DEATH! DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! ALL OF THE FAMILY MEMBERS MUST DIE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok, sorry. So, I was going to put this up under "the calm before the storm... but I think not. That one will be random, this one will have plot. A delightful, deathly, smutty (?) fun to write plot. Oh, hooray. Enjoy

&

A Death in the Family

Lily smiled happily, and hummed under her breath as she put up the last paper chain. "Have a holly, jolly Christmas…" she sung under her breath, happy that the holidays were finally here.

Ring! Ring!

Her muggle telephone buzzed sharply, interrupting her peaceful moment. "Hello?"

"Hi, Lily Sweets! Are you coming over for Christmas dinner with the family tomorrow? Oh and do bring James! Petunia is staying with Vernon, so…" her mother's happy, homely voice rung from the other end.

"Of course Mum!" Lily sung happily down the line. "We wouldn't miss it!" Frowning slightly to herself at the idea of waking up before the afternoon—James' Christmas parties always ran late into the night—she banished it with the smile of seeing her family again. Ever since she had moved to a little flat in London to be closer to James and her job, it seemed that she saw them hardly at all.

"Well, it seems I still have a lot to organize. I'll see you tomorrow, dear—Oh! Grandma's doctor sent word that she wouldn't be attending, her, ah, problem is getting worse." Lily's eyes flashed with fury, she hated it how her Mum stepped carefully around her Grandmother's mental disorder.

"Right, well, see you then!" She managed to sound marginally cheerful, even after the grandma comment, and clicked the phone down feeling rather proud of herself.

Ding Dong!

The doorbell rung, and Lily made a very frazzled noise before running to answer it. Her peaceful day was becoming so hectic!

"Oh, hullo Lil," her adorable boyfriend said bashfully from the door. "Was this a bad time?"

"Not at all James," she said, already feeling better. She gave him a dazzling smile. "Want to see the flat? I finally finished decorating it!"

"Sounds awesome," he declared enthusiastically. "Oh, um, Dad sends this as a flat celebration thing," he motioned towards the bottle of champagne he was carrying.

"Well I certainly can't drink it all myself," Lily said, closing the door behind him and showing him the coat rack.

"In that case," James grinned. "I guess I'll just have to stay." Lily smiled seductively at him, and her voice became a low purr as she stepped closer to him.

"Are you sure you don't have better things to do?" He grinned and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her delicate nose.

"Now I'm positive I don't."

&

"Wait, are you sure?" Lily smoothed the front of the dress down again, wondering what made her stomach look so large lately, and her bottom so wobbly, and her—

"LILY!" bellowed James. "For the last time! You are incredibly slim and beautiful, and nothing at all could make you look fat, least of all that dress." Lily looked shocked from his outburst, and then broke down in to tears.

"Oh I hate parties," she wailed. "They make me so nervous!"

"Oh, shush. Don't cry Lils, you'll ruin your pretty make-up," James said, attempting to be comforting, and stroking her elaborate hair-do. Sniffing, Lily pulled herself together.

"The holidays are so stressful," she complained. "All these social gatherings turn me in to an emotional wreck."

"It's ok," James said quietly, pulling her in for a hug. "It's the same for everyone."

"Ready?" She asked him finally, smoothing down the silk from the well cut red halter-neck.

"I thought you'd never ask," he said, giving her one of his heart warming smiles that could still make her go weak at the knees.

"Here," she said gently, and tucked a pretty red rose into his breast pocket. "This finishing touch," looking him up and down appreciatively, she stroked the soft black silk of his tuxedo.

"Whew," James said, in an attempt to lighten the moment. "We're going to blow all the other couples away with our hotness!" And suddenly they were both laughing, tears streaming from their eyes, and apparating, and talking with other couples, and drinking bubbly champagne, and laughing some more.

&

"We shouldn't do this here," James breathed in to Lily's ear as one hand stroked her hair, the other rubbing her back.

"Who cares?" she whispered back as he backed her up against the wall. She put one red stiletto on the stone, arching herself towards him.

"Don't you?" James asked curiously as he let his hand trail down her thigh, reaching the inside of her knee.

"No, since when would I?" Lily giggled, slurring abhorrently. James tickled the inside of her thigh, grimacing when she unzipped his trousers. He hated to take advantage of her, but she was impossible when she was drunk…

"Sobrietus," he muttered regretfully, as his wandering fingers pushed up her dress.

"JAMES!" Lily smacked away the offending hand, and immediately began to vomit. James caught her, holding her face away from his legs.

"God Almighty Lily, how much alcohol did you have?" he asked incredulously as she wiped her mouth, muttering scourgify and standing up.

"I can't remember having hardly any…" Lily murmured dazedly. James levered his wand at her again, but was relieved when she batted it away and snapped at him.

"What the hell James! Can't you see that now I'm just tired, not dead drunk?"

"Well I just didn't want to take any chances," James said righteously.

"I'm sorry," Lily murmured. "I shouldn't have snapped. I've just been so worried and tense tonight, like something bad's going to happen." And James, because he knew her so well, didn't scoff and tell her it was nothing, instead he pulled her gently into his arms, slid to the floor, and whispered sweet nothings in her ears until she was out cold.

"LOVE YOU DAD," he bellowed to his father, now trying to show two old ladies that he could still "get jiggy with it". Grabbing Lily, he then apparated them back to her flat in London.

&

hmm?