Seasonal Feathers

Long, long ago, somewhere in the cool mountain forest lived a couple. Both of them were males but they were no doubt head over heels for each other. One was an adolescent nearing his coming of age, the other was a few years past his adolescence. The younger one had hair as red as the fire in his passionate heart and emerald eyes. The older one had hair as white and pure as the falling snow, and his eyes a cool crimson that bored into the soul. They were a poor couple but they lived happily in a small hut surrounded by nature. The younger one, named Chrono, chopped wood and sold them to the market in town so his build was quite lean yet muscular. His partner, Ibuki, tended the house in his absence, making sure that there was someone to welcome him home with a warm meal.

"I'm home-" Chrono looked around the dim room and found that Ibuki was not there, but he soon heard a voice singing at the back of the house. He smiled, "He's feeding the birds again."

Chrono crossed the room and made his way to the back of the house where the sliding door was open where Ibuki was singing a ballad of long ago while scattering leftover rice to the little birds who eagerly pecked away.

"Just singing of the day when the spring returns
with all the flowers and the chirping birds
"Hey, I think your voice is beautiful" that was what you told to me
That alone, those words you said, they would make me smile so eternally"

Chrono stood by the doorway and listened intently to Ibuki's song as he had done many times before. He always loved listening to Ibuki but the latter was always quite stubborn about it at first but he gave in to Chrono's requests anyway. Chrono thought that Ibuki is just shy about it but his reactions made Chrono want to tease him more. When the song was over, Chrono then spoke, "I really do think your voice is beautiful, you know."

Ibuki tensed when he heard Chrono's voice, let alone the compliment. Slowly, he turned towards his partner, his slightly flushed cheeks hidden behind his hair and his eyes cast down, "Welcome back."

Chrono thought how cute Ibuki can be when he gets flustered like this because the white haired male hardly showed any emotions most of the time. He approached the stiff Ibuki until he reached the edge of the hut and held out his hand to pat Ibuki's head. However, the elder reflexively slapped it away, enough for Chrono to lose his balance and fall off the edge of the elevated hut. Luckily, Ibuki was able to grab Chrono and the two of them rolled on the grass, their limbs tangling with each other, their kimonos dirtied, and ended with a very flustered Ibuki on top. An awkward silence drifted between the two of them before Ibuki spoke, "I honestly do not understand how a woodcutter can be so clumsy!"

"Oh, well excuse me if I just wanted to give you a pat on the head!"

"I'm not your pet, you don't have to!"

"How can I not when you were so cute?!"

The two of them were simultaneously stunned, Chrono at his own admission of such an embarrassing thought, and Ibuki upon hearing one. The silence dragged on until Ibuki let out an exhausted sigh and buried his face into Chrono's toned chest, his arms wrapped around Chrono's waist while he muttered, "You're such a brat." Chrono merely laughed and returned the embrace. This time, it was a comfortable silence that settled between them until Chrono spoke, "We should get changed."

Ibuki didn't move, "Can you please be more of a brat and demand to stay like this?"

Chrono combed his hand through Ibuki's hair, "I don't know, the ground isn't as comfortable as you think."

"Don't make me say it," Chrono felt Ibuki's arms tighten around his waist. Chrono chuckled at his partner's reaction and replied, "All right, a couple of minutes like this then."

Regardless, Ibuki didn't move and it was almost nightfall when they were changing in their house. From the dim light in their room from the hearth, Chrono glanced at his partner. His eyes trailed down Ibuki's white neck to his back and landed on the scar on Ibuki's left arm. It stayed there long enough for Ibuki to finally comment, "I can feel you staring, you know."

Chrono grinned sheepishly and embraced his partner from behind.

"Hey!" Ibuki looked startled and was blushing at the sudden gesture. Chrono used the chance to plant a kiss on his adorable partner's lips. He pried Ibuki's lips enough for his tongue to play inside Ibuki's mouth. He can feel Ibuki's weight giving in and so he gently, laid him on the tatami. He lovingly looked at Ibuki lying on the tatami, blushing and panting from the kiss, his newly worn kimono disheveled, exposing his white skin, his collarbone, and chest. It was so enticingly erotic that Chrono trailed kissed from Ibuki's lips down to his throat, to his collarbone, all the way to his chest, while whispering, "I love you". They made love throughout the night; Ibuki's voice disrupted the quiet of the mountain; Chrono's back full of nail marks and scratches from his partner.

That same night, as Chrono lay embracing Ibuki's waist, the latter sitting up with his back propped on the wall, Ibuki gently stroked his younger partner's hair. He reminisced the day's events and recalled Chrono saying, "I really do think your voice is beautiful, you know." He found himself looking at the flames of the hearth with his blushing face and absentmindedly muttered, "I wonder... when the day comes that I no longer have this beautiful voice... will you still love me?"

"Of course I would," came the reply.

"I thought you were already asleep?" Ibuki looked at the young man looking at him from his waist.

"I will continue to love you even when you no longer have your beautiful voice," Chrono repeated and the conviction in his eyes made Ibuki plant a kiss on the younger one's forehead as a tear streamed down his face.

"Thank you," Ibuki whispered.

As the two of them fell asleep, Chrono dreamt of one summer day when he was younger. He was walking around the mountain in search of firewood when he heard the sound of an injured animal. Cautiously, he followed the sound until he came across a crane with feathers as white as the first snow, but the left wing was stained with blood.

"Ah, that's rather troublesome for you, huh?" Chrono squatted beside the injured creature who did not seem to appreciate his comment. Chrono chuckled and carefully picked it up. "It'll be ok. I'll take care of you until you get better."

As though understanding what Chrono said, the crane calmed down and nestled into Chrono's arms.


The seasons passed peacefully until one summer when, as they tilled their crops, Chrono collapsed, blood spilled from his nose. Ibuki rushed to his side and carried him inside the house, quickly treating his partner's illness. Unfortunately, since they were a poor couple, they had no money for medicine.

"How many times do I tell you not to overwork yourself?" Ibuki's voice sounded so worried it was a stark contrast to his usual stoic demeanor. Helplessly, he knelt beside Chrono whose breathing was labored and his forehead unusually hot. His partner has always had a chronic illness, but Chrono looked so healthy you never expect him to collapse any time.

Chrono chuckled and then coughed, "Don't worry. As if this can kill me." His show of strength only made Ibuki felt worse. He bit his lip and nodded resolutely.

"Rest here. You're not allowed to venture out until you get better." Ibuki's voice was calm but resolute as he stood up and started walking to another room.

"Where are you going? What about the food and money?" Chrono asked weakly.

"I'll handle everything." Ibuki replied as he tied his hair up before disappearing into a room he has never visited in years. The room has a loom inside that Ibuki asked Chrono to buy when they got married, using the money Ibuki brought. Most of their needs were actually supplied by Ibuki when they first met.


It was a snowy day when Chrono got back from the forest.

"Welcome back," a voice greeted him and he looked up to find a beautiful young man in white kimono waiting for him. Chrono was very surprised by this and for a moment thought if he had entered the wrong house.

"You're the only one living in this forest so don't think you are lost," said the man in front of him as though reading his thoughts. Chrono just stared dumbfounded, making the man sigh and begin walking towards the small house, "I see you are quite slow. Get inside. From now on, we are married."

Married. Married?! The word shook Chrono back into reality, "W-wait! Married?!"

The man stopped and said, "Is it not to your liking?"

Chrono thought that there was almost disappointment in the man's voice. "It's not that! I just don't think I have the livelihood for marriage! If anything... I only have enough rice for one person." He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

The man glanced at him thoughtfully and then said, "I would not have come here if I wasn't prepared. I have enough rice for us," before entering the house. "Oh, and I have enough money to buy a loom. Please do so as soon as you can."

After that, Chrono began to get used to life with his partner, Ibuki. And Ibuki, a mysterious figure in the relationship, has become more dependent on Chrono's existence than he would like to admit.

Shutting himself in the work room for days, Ibuki never slept nor ate. The only times he left the work room was to check on Chrono. He toiled and toiled, wove and wove. There was no time for rest if it meant saving Chrono. He knew that he may not have been the best partner for Chrono. He was the one who imposed their marriage, and Chrono is still young with much ahead of him. He knew all of it, but how else was he supposed to repay the gratitude he felt towards Chrono? Chrono has been very understanding despite his awkward and cold attitude. The place where he belonged was with Chrono and nowhere else, but maybe, if it involved saving Chrono, he will still leave because Chrono's existence matters most.

"At last," Ibuki momentarily slumped on the floor due to the exhaustion catching up to him. He had lost count of the passing seasons but the cloth seemed to show just that. Its colors were vibrant but there was a dullness that showed the sadness of autumn and winter. There was life but there was the fleetingness of it. It exhumed the happy and sorrowful memories of him and Chrono. He wove pieces of himself into it. Pushing his exhaustion away, he gathered the cloth he wove and headed out. It was dawn when he bid farewell to Chrono.

"I'll be back before nightfall," He gave Chrono a quick kiss on the forehead. Before he can move away, Chrono's hand held onto one of Ibuki's hands. Because of his non-stop work, his smooth hands have become callused and rough, but Chrono said, "You have beautiful hands."

Then and there, Ibuki wanted to break apart. Struggling to keep his voice stable, "Th-then... if these beautiful hands are no more... will you still love me?"

"Of course, I will," Despite the darkness, Ibuki can see Chrono's passionate emerald eyes.

Ibuki's trembling lips met Chrono's forehead again and he moved away from his beloved while whispering, "Thank you." He walked out of the house with tears streaming his cheeks and even then, he can still feel the coldness of Chrono's hand in his.

For a moment, Ibuki saw the child in Chrono. Despite his partner's independence and maturity, Chrono was still a child. Or rather, it was the child that had to grow up early in life. It also reminded him of the child he saw in the past who lay sick and was tended by its parents. They were also a poor family but they were mostly happy. They tended to their sick child by turns; one works and buys the medicine while the other keeps an eye on the child while doing household chores. It did not take long before the child was in full health and he approached Ibuki that time. Ibuki thought of leaving but the child embraced him, cuddled him. He was almost scandalized but he stood still. He left as soon as the child let go.

Ibuki arrived at a kimono shop in town, near the foot of the mountain. The shop owner inspected the cloth with awe, "This is not silk. It's very light!" She held the cloth like it's the most fragile thing in the world as she slid her fingers daintily on it, "And so soft! Like a feather!"

She proceeded to ask Ibuki, "What would you like to do with it, sir?"

Ibuki smiled slightly at the compliments and the assurance that he has secured money for the medicine, "I am selling it for a decent price."

Ibuki received the payment and rushed to the nearest pharmacy to buy the medicine. By the time he returned to home, he was panting heavily, legs trembling, fingers clutching the medicine tightly — almost desperately. "Chrono!" His legs gave in as soon as he reached Chrono's bedside. He held Chrono's hand which was getting colder and his breathing was more labored than before. Unwrapping the medicine from its package, Ibuki scrambled to his feet to get a wooden mortar and pestle where he crushed the herbs while water boiled above the hearth. Every ounce of strength he had, he poured into making the medicine. Every second that passed, he agonized at Chrono's fleeting moments. He poured the hot water into the small bowl with the crushed herbs and stirred until the liquid became a very vivid green.

"Chrono, I got your medicine. It's time to drink," Ibuki said as he assisted the young man in sitting up. He felt how hot Chrono's forehead was. The younger man groaned as he moved and grumbled, "Thank you, mom."

Ibuki was slightly surprised but smiled nostalgically. He thought that the fever was making Chrono delirious and that wasn't good. He lifted the steaming bowl to Chrono's lips slowly and carefully. The only sound in the small house was the crackling of fire in the hearth and Chrono's occasional gulps of the medicine. It was far into the night when Ibuki finished having Chrono drink the medicine. Perhaps it was because of the dim lighting but Ibuki only then noticed the improvement in Chrono's complexion. His beloved fell asleep more peacefully and his breathing was more even. Ibuki felt quite satisfied with himself as a small smile graced his lips. He stared at his hands now covered in bandages because of the blisters he acquired from weaving and remembered what Chrono said before he left.

It's not enough, he thought. The amount of medicine is not enough. Even if it were enough to cure Chrono now, there was no telling whether there will be a recoil later so he had to keep working. As Ibuki stood up, he felt something tug at the corner of his yukata. His gaze fell on Chrono whose eyes were half open.

"Don't go," the younger one pleaded. Ibuki knelt back down and took Chrono's hand into his own.

"If I don't go now, I don't know when I'll finish weaving the next fabric," Ibuki reasoned.

"It's been... so lonely without you."

Those words struck Ibuki hard. He knew that he hadn't been able to spend as much time with Chrono as either of them would like but how can he help it? They needed the money for him. "I understand," Ibuki replied and adjusted his seat. Holding Chrono's cold hand, he started singing a lullaby. As soon as his beloved fell into a sound sleep, he carefully moved away and returned to the work room and somehow, it felt colder that night than any night he spent in there.

Another set of seasons have passed as Ibuki wove and took care of the recovering Chrono. He has grown weary from lack of sleep and food. Bags have formed under his eyes and his white complexion seemed unhealthily pale. The bandages around his hands were stained with blood, but he can't help but smile as he sees Chrono returning to his usual energetic demeanor.

"I'm all better now so," Chrono wrapped his arms around Ibuki's waist, "please stop shutting yourself in the work room."

Ibuki gently stroked Chrono's hair, "You know I can't do that. You're still recovering and we can't have you collapsing again. Once an illness is cured, it comes back twice as worse if not treated continuously enough."

"Geez, you sound like an old man," the younger one buried his face in the older one's stomach.

"Well, I'm sorry for being born earlier then,"

"Actually... I'm glad you've been born at all. Otherwise, I wouldn't be this happy,"

Ibuki felt his heart skip a beat. Chrono always knew what to say to make him flustered, to mess him up inside and out. That's why Ibuki didn't want to lose him. Despite the many things Chrono didn't know about him, he still thinks that Chrono understood him more than anyone else will.

"You know, when I was a child, I fell ill like this too, and mom and dad had to take care of me, taking turns with their work and all. I was really happy back then, until they suddenly went missing," Chrono suddenly mentioned. The story tugged at Ibuki's heart.

"Chrono," Ibuki gently called and Chrono looked up just in time to feel Ibuki's lips on his. It surprised him that Ibuki will take the initiative but he soon forgot all of that and indulged in his partner's deep kisses. By the time their lips parted, Chrono was dizzy from lovestruck and lack of air. This is when Ibuki slipped from his grasp and made his way towards the work room. "I'll see you at dinner," he said with a small smile before disappearing behind the screen doors.

The lingering feeling of his lover's lips left Ibuki with a feeling of motivation and warmth as he sat alone in the work room and continued weaving, weaving, weaving, all for Chrono's sake. It was at that night that he realized that he was down to the last feather.

"It's almost done, but somehow... I wonder how much will change after this? Chrono... I hope you live a very happy life... even without—" Somehow, Ibuki struggled to finish the sentence. Is that what he wanted? He wanted to cure Chrono and take care of him, not just because the boy saved him many times. He remembered the boy who embraced him randomly after his parents cured him from his illness. He remembered when he lay on the grass with a bleeding wing because of hunters and Chrono picked him up and nursed him back to health. He remembered becoming human for Chrono's sake because he knew how lonely the boy was after his parents' passing and he never even knew how they died. In truth, he didn't want to give up his life with Chrono. He didn't want to leave after he has used all of his feathers. He didn't want to lose his place in Chrono's life.

"If someday, I'm not longer the man whom you thought was beautiful... would you still love me like how you did before?" Ibuki mumbled absentmindedly and leaned on the wooden slide.

"Of course, I will," came a reply from the other side which did not startle him at all.

"So you were listening,"

The sliding door opened and Chrono wrapped him in a tight embrace from behind, "I promised to myself a long time ago that I'll keep embracing you even when you've lost your wings."

Ibuki trembled within Chrono's embrace. His tears falling as he gripped tightly onto Chrono's arm.

"I still remember that crane I helped some years ago. It flew so gracefully into the sunset when it was all better. I thought that somehow it was the same crane my parents teased me about, the one I embraced when I was very young. To think that it would be the same crane I will spend the rest of my life with," Chrono's voice was gentle, as though soothing a child. "Ibuki, back then, now, and even in the future, I will forever love you."

And so the final feather was woven into the cloth and the colors were more vibrant than ever. When Ibuki took it to the shop owner, it so happened that many aristocrats were there and so a heated auction took place and Ibuki was able to go home with the medicine and shopped for a feast. Part of the money he donated to an orphanage in town.

Maybe for the couple, their love kindled as brightly as the colors of the woven cloth. When the kindle is running low, one took a step to make sure it never died. Maybe "forever" may sound like a simple word or promise, but for them, "forever" was the span of eternity that they live in with each other's presence. While Ibuki had once and for all lost the ability to fly, Chrono was there to walk beside the flightless crane.