Sirius' idea for an April Fool's Day prank ends up in very interesting revelations. Pranks, Marauders and lots of denial. S/R. (Reposted from my old account, mullu, where it sat for ages).
Disclaimer: I'm having trouble with disclaimers since I saw "Rip! A Remix Manifesto". I firmly believe that Harry Potter belongs to whoever is reading it (or to no one, which is even better). This said, the Harry Potter universe was created by JK Rowling, the prank idea's been done a gazillion times, and I'm not making money out of any of this (which seems to be the copyright defenders only concern, anyway).
Warnings: Barely mild slash, but if you have a problem with the pairing Sirius/Remus you may be reading the wrong fic. If however, you have a problem with boys liking other boys, I'm sorry to tell you, but you're probably living in the wrong world...
April Fools
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm Sirius. Who else would I be?"
Remus sighed heavily and gave him a tired look. That line was really getting old.
"So... you're saying you want us to pretend to be..."
"Involved. Romantically." A glint of mischief lit Sirius' eyes. A too well-known glint. This wasn't heading anywhere good.
"You do realize how scary you are sometimes, don't you?"
A wounded looking Sirius placed a hand on his heart. "Am I scaring you?" He leaned closer to his friend, their noses almost touching. "But... I always thought you felt for me the way I feel for you..." His gray eyes seemed bigger, almost puppy eyes. "Oh, Remus... I've been trying to tell you for so long..."
Remus cracked a laugh before remembering the whole Gryffindor Tower was sleeping upstairs. And he relaxed. Padfoot was good at getting people relaxed.
"Come on, Moony... you know it'll be a great prank... just try to imagine Prongs' face."
It was a funny image.
Not that James had any big prejudices, but still... the idea of two Marauders 'going at it'... it'd turn the world upside down... like... like Lily Evans agreeing to marry James... or little Peter turning into a dark wizard.
He snickered. Sirius' eyes opened in hope.
"See! Come on Moony, we have to do it. I need to get back at him for last year..." Remus stiffened a laugh at the memory. "And you're the only one that can help me."
Ah. Padfoot's favorite convincing line. Hard to say no to his 'you're the only one that can help me' smile.
"What about Peter?" Remus asked as a last resort, knowing how unfair it was to hide behind poor Wormtail.
But Sirius' eyebrows rose in outrage. "Wormtail? Do you think if I was gay I'd date Wormtail? It has to be believable, you know?"
"Um... Does that mean you would date me? That's 'believable'?" He blushed at the thought, but Sirius didn't seem to notice, keeping it as cool as if he was discussing painting Mrs. Norris purple.
"... Or Prongs, surely. Or maybe someone else. But not Wormtail. Prongs would never fall for that."
"... But he would fall for you dating me?"
"Well..." Sirius seemed to realize what he was saying. "I don't mean..." Was Moony blushing? "It's just that Wormtail would never keep it up... you know how he is around Prongs... But I've seen you raise mayhem, Mr. Prefect, and walking out clean with that 'I live for books and prefect duty' face of yours." The full-blown grin was back on his face. "All you have to do is not back off and he'll buy it."
"As flattered as I am... not," he ignored the snickering, "I don't think he would fall for that. This is James we're talking about, and this is April Fool's Day. He won't fall for anything. Much less something this obvious. I mean, what are we supposed to do? Walk on him holding hands and announce we're dating?"
Padfoot snorted loudly. "No. Of course not. I know he'd get it right away. That's why we must do it right." The glint was set in his eyes, and Remus felt a shiver run through his spine.
"... W-What do you mean 'right'?" he panicked.
"Nothing like that," Sirius laughed. "Don't worry Moony, you're safe with me." And though it was obvious that he wasn't, something inside Remus never allowed him not to trust Padfoot.
"So... I'm not agreeing... but what was your plan?" Remus knew, of course, that he was agreeing, whether he chose it or not. And as Sirius' grin grew wicked, and the glint blinked stronger, he explained The Plan.
The sun was up in the sky, a bright morning to have a nice walk by the lake before class. Remus would've enjoyed that. But he lay in bed, covered up to his head, thinking how long he could go unnoticed pretending to be asleep.
It was April Fool's Day morning, and getting out of bed didn't seem a good idea at all.
"See, we can't tell anyone," had said Sirius the previous night. "It's April Fool's Day, it'll be obviously a prank, and not even Wormtail would fall for it."
"So, how...?"
"We can't 'tell'. But if he accidentally finds us... and we feel busted and terribly embarrassed... and beg him no to tell anyone, to please understand we didn't mean to lie to him, but it was all so confusing..."
Remus found himself -once again- thinking how scary his friend could get.
"See? It's easy. We don't have to do anything. Well... maybe hold hands and hug a little... you don't have a problem with that, do you?"
"No, I don't," had answered Moony, laughing softly at the idea of him, among all the Marauders, holding a prejudice.
But now the sun was up, James and Peter had left for breakfast, the show was about to start, and he just wanted to hide under James' invisibility cloak until Sirius forgot this stupid idea.
Hey! That's not a bad plan... Could I get to the cloak before Sirius...?
"Wake up, sweetie. Time to pull a prank."
Too late. Remus pressed his eyes shut.
"Moooony..." A singsong voice approached to his bed, "he'll be back any minute now... Either you get out of that bed or I get in."
Remus groaned, turning around, "are you sure about..." -deep gray eyes held his gaze, ever so close, dragging him to a whirl of unwanted emotions; the best looking guy in Hogwarts clutched by his side- "...this?"
No, he didn't like Sirius. Sirius was a guy. A Marauder. His friend. It made no sense. There was no way in hell he liked Sirius...
And yet, he had found himself lost in those deep, gray eyes, before. He had held back this strange urge to touch the long, dark hair, before. He had told himself this was just a weird phase, and he didn't like Sirius, before. And he didn't. Like. Sirius.
"Are you trying to walk out of this? 'Cause it won't work, you know? There's still three days to the full moon, you have no excuse," bright eyes grinned at him. "Now get up and help me break Prongs' sanity."
Remus sat on the bed as Sirius went for the map. The plan was quite simple, and therefore, believable. Some Ravenclaw girl had lent James a book, which he conveniently had to return that morning at breakfast. All that Sirius had to do was enchant said book to leave James' bag while unseen –the knowledge Padfoot had on completely foolish charms, with no further use than pranks, never ceased to surprise Remus. Everybody knew you didn't mess with a Ravenclaw's book.
"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." A rapid scan revealed the little dot labeled 'James Potter' at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. "Good, we have time." He eyed Remus' bed and then his, as if trying to decide which would do better for the task –action that made Remus' face bright pink, as it brought to his mind some interesting ideas for possible 'tasks'.
This was such a bad idea.
Finally, Sirius walked to Remus' bed and sit next to him. "Okay," his eyes placed on the map. But he soon looked dubious and shifted in his place. "This is no good. We need to be closer."
Closer? The statement startled Remus, who gulped, but didn't dare to move, as Sirius pressed softly against his side, sliding an arm around his back, to land a strong hand on his waist. "That's better," Sirius grinned and turned to the map once again, oblivious to Remus' lack of breath. "Now we just have to wait."
But as his eyes followed the movement of the little labeled dot, his still body began to feel the closeness to the other boy. He could smell him, almost taste him. It was so warm where their bodies touched. Is he always this warm? What is that smell? Is it his hair? It's so good... Slowly, he moved his head to subtly dig his nose on Remus' hair. Unconsciously, his hand pressed Remus' waist, just a little bit stronger. It was burning now where their legs pressed against each other, both aware of the slightest increase in that pressure. Sirius found himself aching to know if Remus' skin was just as soft as it was warm. Hey, what are you thinking? This is a bloke! Not just a bloke, too... his friend. Not just a friend, even... Moony. This is Moony, he reminded himself. But his hand seemed to have a mind of its own, and brushed softly anyway, lifting the sleeping shirt just enough to let one daring finger caress the soft skin. So soft. Remus shivered at the touch, and Sirius' body threatened to loose control. Prongs, where the hell are you? But his eyes missed the 'James Potter' label leaving the Great Hall, as they turned slowly to face the boy by his side.
Why are you doing this? Are you really doing this? Am I imagining it? No... Please, don't look at me... Please don't notice, please don't notice. Remus was positive his face was crimson, and he couldn't trust his eyes not to give away all that he was feeling. It was so intense, what he was feeling. Sirius was so close Remus could breathe him, the essence of his skin driving him insane, the sweet pressure on his body burning his senses. And he had touched him. Not by mistake, not with a further purpose. Sirius had wanted to touch his skin. Maybe Sirius was going through the same than him, Remus thought. Maybe Sirius too had needed to repeat himself that he didn't like Remus more than once... Or maybe he was just imagining what he wanted it to be. Please don't look at me... Please don't look at me... But his eyes rose anyway, meeting the deep gray in hope.
Sirius gulped. Had he ever seen Remus before? Really seen? How had he failed to notice all these blazing shades of amber and gold? They were so strong, his eyes. So open and true. Like everything that was worth fighting for lay in them. Like he could be a better person, if he could only live in those eyes. They made such a contrast with Remus' sweet face, so fragile and worn by the Wolf. The Wolf... Light, faded scars made its presence noticeable, even in this moonless morning. Somehow they made his face even sweeter, even more beautiful than it already was; showing his daily struggle to keep away from darkness, his inner strength. So strong, Sirius thought, and felt again the urge to protect him, to let him know he didn't have to fight alone. He wasn't alone and would never have to be. This feeling, at least, wasn't new. Padfoot had felt this way for Moony ever since he could remember. Even before he had any idea of what he was supposed to protect Moony from. But it wasn't like this, he reflected, as his need to protect became need hold, to touch, to bring Remus inside his chest and never let him go. Or was it?
The air was dense and filled with emotion, and Sirius didn't really notice when he started leaning towards Remus, as Remus didn't notice when he started leaning towards him, so caught up they were in each other's eyes. But as their breath mingled and their noses brushed, both boys closed their eyes, hearts pounding in anticipation.
"Have you guys seen the...?"
Four eyes shot open, and Sirius' head snapped to the door, where a very pale James stood frozen.
"P-Prongs... Um... This is not..." Isn't it? What is this?
"I..." James just stood for a moment, unable to stop staring at the bed where Sirius Black sat speechless for the first time in his life, while Moony fixed his gaze in the floor, looking like a sunburned beetroot. "I'm sorry... I... I'll just leave now." He slowly turned around and closed the door.
Sirius and Remus were left alone in the bedroom, scared to death to look at each other.
What was that? Was he really going to kiss me? Remus' mixed emotions started to boil. It was bad enough to be a werewolf, he wasn't ready to be gay on top of that... I don't like Sirius, he reminded himself. But what was Sirius thinking right now? He couldn't afford to loose his friend. Not a Marauder. Not Padfoot.
"Moony... I..."
"I think he bought it. Don't you?" Remus offered a fairly good fake smile.
"Er..." What? "Yeah... Yeah I guess he did." Sirius returned a not so good fake smirk, but wasn't able to look at his friend. "So... Shall we go for breakfast?"
"I have to get in the shower. You go first, I'll meet you there."
"Okay."
What was that? Merlin!
James walked absently down the stairs that lead to the Common Room, still in shock. Padfoot and Moony... Padfoot! And Moony! He wasn't sure if he was allowed to be angry at them. It was their life, after all. But Padfoot... And Moony... He sank on the couch, not wanting to drag his grimace any further. These were his closest friends. His brothers. They had slept in the same room for six years! Known each other's secrets for six years! Showered in the same bathroom for six years! How did he not know?.? How could they keep something like this from him? Especially Padfoot.
A scream of utter terror shove him out of these dark thoughts. A third-year girl stood at the portrait hole, her face deep green, eyes wide and frightening glaring at two third-year boys with the conviction of someone about to commit a very serious crime.
"April Fool!" The boys laughed, apparently unabashed by her threatening glare. She emitted a cry of terrible anger and ran upstairs.
"April..." James' eyes widened. How could he forget something this important? Merlin, Evans, you really distract me too much. But now his mind was finally working. I did put that book in my bag, didn't I? Yes... I know I did... And what was that on Padfoot's hand... Padfoot's other hand, he fiercely shook the image away. Was it...? The map. It was the map. The map, where they had been checking James' arrival. Dirty dog, he grinned, you really got me this time.
Then he relaxed, and the grin grew wicked. But I'm getting back at you for this, my friend.
And he knew just how to do it.
It took Sirius a long time to reach the stairs. Or at least it seemed a long time. What the hell happened in that room? It made no sense. Was he really just about to kiss Moony? A bloke? Moony? No. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't. This was him, Sirius Black, living legend of Hogwarts. Sirius Black, who hand-picked from every worthy girl in three houses each Friday night. Sirius Black, who got giggles from Ravenclaws, for Merlin's sake! He didn't like blokes. Never had. Everybody knew he was a ladies' man. If anyone –anyone- had heard Sirius Black was a poof they would have laughed at it. And they would've been right... What the hell was I thinking, looking at Moony like that? The poor bloke must be scared to dead... We got carried away by the prank, that's what happened. It's normal. It doesn't mean anything. Nothing happened.
And with that last thought, he shook away any other ideas –stupid, ridiculous ideas-, and headed downstairs.
He spotted James on the couch, apparently lost in his own thoughts. Well, at least it worked... I bet he's still trying to figure out what hit him. And he hastily walked towards his best friend, grinning, not giving his mind the chance to ask what had hit himself.
Prongs, of course, wasn't as much lost in his thoughts as rejoicing in his latest plot. A bloody brilliant plot.
By the time Padfoot reached the last step, James had already seen him, heard him, sensed him. He had that ability when it came to pranks. A hunter skill his best friend had never matched. Moony had it, of course... especially around the full moon... but it was not a skill he seemed proud of.
"Oi... Prongs..."
The hunter turned to find an uncomfortable prey, fidgeting with his hands and biting his lower lip, gray eyes reluctantly meeting his. That was usually Padfoot's give away, the glint in his eyes. Or was for the Marauders. Not that other people could tell. He was a fine actor if he was set on it –and he was always set on pranks. But there was something else in his eyes this time, something Prongs couldn't quite put a finger on...
"Oi," he said as coldly as he could.
"You think we could go somewhere else to talk?" Sirius said, conscious that there was no point in having the whole tower thinking he was a nancy for a prank that could so easily be carried on in private.
They moved to a corner, far enough from curious ears.
"Listen... about... you know... what just happened..."
"You mean finding two of my best friends 'having fun' in my bedroom?" Wait a minute... Did Padfoot just blush?
"Well... erm... yeah," Sirius sighed dramatically, in a very 'prelude to prank-speech' way. If James had still any doubts, this set them all. "Listen... we wanted to tell you, but..."
As much as James wanted to hear his best mate's surely long-practiced April Fool's Day speech, it was time to make a move of his own.
"Listen mate. I'm not mad."
Sirius jumped. "You're not?" Well... maybe his friend was more open-minded than he had guessed.
"I mean, I'm mad you guys didn't tell me, of course I'm mad about that... But about your... whatever it is that you guys have... well, I guess it was inevitable. I mean, we all saw it coming, it was so bloody obvious."
"What?.!" It was what? They saw what? What the hell was so bloody obvious? He hadn't noticed. "W-What do you mean?"
"Oh, don't worry, most people don't notice. Only, you know, the close ones. Our class, mostly. And even them you could fool for a while longer, if you don't feel ready to go public yet. Not that they would mind. I've never heard any harsh comments about you guys. It's more like the other way around... you know 'aww... they're so cute together', girly stuff like that. I guess they are more perceptive after all."
Gray eyes shot opened in horror. Girls? Girls thought he was gay?
Gryffindor golden-boy held a smirk, and his spectacles hid mischievous eyes as he kept on. Boy, was he a genius...
"I saw it coming long before them, though. Just didn't want to mention it before you did. It didn't seem right, you know."
"What do you...? You saw...? How...?"
Sirius Black, speechless. Oh, this was priceless.
"Well, you know..."
No, I don't! Padfoot wanted to yell, but curiosity picked his brain and he let his friend continue –for the sake of the prank, he told himself.
"It pretty much shows in the way you look at each other..." Padfoot was supposed to be screaming his manhood around the castle by now. Apparently he's more set in this prank than I had originally thought, James reflected. A better speech was needed. One he could relate to, one that would truly get to him.
Fortunately, one had been prepared.
"There's also the way you take care of him, you know. The way you worry about him more than any of us... those trips you take to the hospital wing just to check on his arrival... I don't know; the way you just seem so affected about the whole thing." It was true, of course. Sirius worried about Moony more anyone else. He worried to the point that James wasn't sure sometimes if the idea of becoming Animagi had come to his mind as a way to keep Remus company or a way to keep Sirius calmed. Yet, it was perfectly normal Sirius' behavior. Padfoot had always been unable to stay calm for ten seconds, and Moony's situation drove him insane. There was something going on that he could not fix, not break, not change. That alone was enough to break his nerves.
Therefore, there had to be more in this speech to convince him.
"Do you remember the first time we went to the Shrieking Shack? When we first found Moony, just after sunrise?" Sirius' eyes took a darker color, as they always did when he remembered that morning. James didn't like to bring it up on him, but somewhere through his plotting, while searching for 'intimacy' moments that may help confuse his fellow Marauder, it had come by itself, way too strong to let it go. "The way you held him... the way you looked at him... Wormtail and I stood aside for a long time, you know? Didn't want to disturb. Not that either of you noticed. It just seemed like a 'private' moment."
Sirius was finally showing signs of panic. It was about time.
"It's also noticeable the way you affect him. That's why we always send you to convince him of anything, in case you haven't notice. He doesn't seem able to reject you." Well, he wasn't letting Moony walk out of this clean, was he? Though, once again, he had done nothing but point out a known fact among the Marauders. "And he only seems to cheer up after a full moon when you're around." Not that it was a big surprise, with Padfoot's whole energy –and that was a lot of energy- devoted to this end. "I mean, even as a wolf he seems to prefer Padfoot." Well done James, that was plain stupid... of course he prefers the dog, it's practically another wolf... "I've read that the wolf-form of a werewolf can show feelings the human-form denies." Now, that's better. Actually, I think I might have read it somewhere...
Sirius started to pale. The prank had reached its peak.
"And there's of course the fact that you're both silly hypersensitive girls about any stupid comment the other makes. Merlin! You can't have a bloody fight without sulking for three days!" That wasn't part of the original speech. It came to James in a rush, probably brought by all the other pointed facts. He sure had never noticed all this exchange between his two friends. Not in this way, at least. But there was nothing strange about this last fact either. Remus was by far the most sensitive of the clan, and Sirius... well, he just valued Remus' opinion highly. That was it. There was nothing else to it.
Only, somehow, putting all these simple facts together gave them a different light.
Of course it does, that was the whole point, James reminded himself, and shook the nonsense away. I'm getting trapped in my own prank. Fortunately, it was about to end. Sirius looked like he was going to faint any second now.
"And well, there's that last thing, you know... the one that actually gave everything away."
Sirius' eyes turned to his, barely fixing his gaze, but questioning none the less.
"Well, you know... the fact that today is April Fool's and I was on to your silly prank the whole time!"
Sirius snapped back to life. The prank. It had all been a silly prank. The swirl inside him stopped abruptly, leaving a slight sense of nausea.
James stood in front of him, looking quite smug.
He grinned involuntarily. It was just a prank. None of it was true. But it is, a small voice seemed to whisper inside his head, wiping the grin away.
"So... you were just making this up, right? You never really thought...?"
"No, of course not," James laughed. "Why? Are you having second thoughts about your preferences now?"
Well... are you? The small voice kept pushing.
Just then, Remus appeared on the stairs, looking a bit apprehensive.
"It's okay, Moony, the prank's off." Prongs grinned, still quite satisfied with himself.
"Good," Moony sighed. It was relieving. A little disappointing, but relieving. No, no disappointing. Just relieving. Just relieving.
"I gave old Padfoot the shivers this time. Shouldn't have missed it. It was priceless," Prongs grinned even wider.
Moony looked questioning at Sirius, who returned the look. Only, it wasn't Sirius' look. Something entirely new lay deep in those gray eyes, something intense and confused, like a million questions swirling around an unwanted answer.
Sirius found himself, once again, locked to Remus' eyes. Remus' eyes, which he had never seen before this day. Remus' eyes, with blazing shades of amber and gold that he would never be able to miss again. He shove the thought out of his head with a fierce shake.
But it was too late.
Does he... does he like me back? No. No. Wait. I don't like Sirius. But that was a hard thought to keep, with raising hope lighting his chest. Or do I? Taking his friend's example, he shook the thought away. No way was he ready to think about it.
They had stared for bare seconds. Now they stood face to face, trying hard to look as if nothing had happened. Because nothing had happened. Or has it? Suddenly James, standing on the side of the scene, was hit by the full force of realization. Oh, Merlin. The way Padfoot always took care of Moony... The way he worried more than anyone else... The way he had held the werewolf the first time they went to find him after a full moon... The way he had beamed at the silent boy, even on that first ride on the Hogwarts Express. Oh, Merlin. The way Moony seemed unable to say 'no' to Padfoot... The way he only seemed to feel better after a full moon around him... The way any stupid comment seemed to affect them more if coming from the other... Oh, Merlin... Oh, Merlin... The way the wolf seemed to always prefer the dog... Merlin, the fact that he was a dog... James paled. The way they were looking at each other this morning.
Before him, his two friends stared at the floor, at the window, at anything but each other.
James took a deep breath. This was going to take some adjustment. Peter, blissful ignorance, wouldn't notice if he caught them shagging. Not that anything like that seemed to be going to happen anytime soon... But then, if they didn't know, he supposed it really wasn't his place to tell them.
He coughed. "Shall we go for breakfast, then?"
Both boys nodded thankfully, and they all headed to the portrait hole.
