The Hogs Head Inn was flooded with sixth and seventh years; voices echoing off the crumbling wooden walls, sounds of chairs scraping on the floor, laughter and loud conversations from nearby tables about everything under the sun. Lily sat alone amongst it all. She'd been dragged into the pub by Marlene and Mary, yet they had disappeared to get drinks a while ago and still hadn't returned. She sighed, reaching for her coat – about to give up and walk back to the castle on her own – when someone sat down opposite her at the small round table, two glasses of Firewhiskey in hand.
"What are you doing here, Black?" She sighed in resignation, placing her coat over her lap.
"I'm 'ere to talk to you," He grinned lopsidedly, pushing one of the large glasses into her hand, before adding "And to drink, of course."
"And why would you want to do that?" She asked, eyeing the glass in her hand sceptically.
He took a drink from his own glass, "Because you're my mate, and you've been a pathetic sod for the past month. I'd like to know why. So I told the girls to bugger off and let me have you for the afternoon."
She could feel the eyes of girls at the surrounding tables on her and Sirius, whispers echoing through the pub at the scene. Sirius Black and Lily Evans? Sharing a table? Sirius Black, bring Lily Evans a drink? She could hear the rumours bubbling, rumours that were sure to last weeks, but she couldn't care less.
"So you didn't come here to talk, you came here to send my friends away and insult me? Brilliant. Fantastic. Just what I need." She spoke coldly and sarcastically; she was in no mood for Sirius' games.
He cocked an eyebrow in a manner that was seemingly trademarked by the Marauders - she'd seen the same one all too often on James' face- and leant back in his chair, "You can either tell me what's the matter, or I can just sit here drinking. I'm happy either way."
"I don't know what you're talking about, there's nothing wrong with me." She said with a shrug, finally sipping at the Firewhiskey in her hand – it was a distraction from what was bothering her at least.
"I'm talking about you being a moody little twit–"
"Oh, so you did just come here to insult me?" She narrowed her eyes, yet there was a hint of amusement in her voice. She appreciated that Sirius cared, and that he was able to be so blunt about it. Lily knew she'd been a prig recently, but there was good reason for it. Though, there was absolutely, positively no way she was going to tell Sirius why.
"Will you stop being so sensitive and just listen to me for one goddamn second–?"
But she'd stopped listening altogether when the door to the pub opened and a certain dark-haired-Gryffindor-quidditch-captain-slash-Head-Boy walked inside holding hands with an immensely pretty Ravenclaw chaser. Lily was vaguely aware that Sirius was still talking at her, occasionally drinking from his glass, but his words didn't seem to reach her ears nor capture her full attention. She watched as the Ravenclaw laughed at something James said, and he seemed to glow at the sound of her laugh. Lily's stomach churned and made her feel ill, there was a lump in her throat and she could just feel the colour drain from her face. She wanted to leave; she wanted to be anywhere else in the world as long as it wasn't that bloody pub.
Sirius snapped his fingers in front of her face and sharply brought her out of her reverie,
"Evans!" He sounded frustrated, and she began to wonder how long he'd been trying to get her attention, "Were you listening to a single word I said?"
Her eyes darted to the couple by the bar, before she swallowed thickly and mumbled,
"I'm sorry, Sirius… but I-I have to go."
Sirius followed her gaze with a frown, wondering what could possibly have changed her mood so suddenly. It wasn't until he spotted James and the Ravenclaw, that he understood immediately,
"Oh… Of course." He said sadly. That bothered Lily to no end, the way he sounded when he said that. It sounded almost like pity.
"Please, don't." Lily appealed, sharply pulling her coat on, absently wondering if she could get to the door without drawing anyone's attention, "I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it," Sirius frowned in confusion and she rolled her eyes, "You're going to say that it's my own damn fault, that I should have said something earlier and I wouldn't be in this position. That it could have been me over there, laughing with him and holding his hand and having him smile down at me with that bloody grin of his; I get it. I get that I'm a stupid prat and I have no right to feel this way – but please, please, don't make me feel any worse than I already do."
Sirius sighed and leant back in his chair, he almost seemed offended at the insinuation. He rubbed the back of his neck as he shrugged slightly, "That's not at all what I was going to say."
"Really?"
"No." He said, shaking his head.
"Then what were you going to say?"
He seemed thoughtful for a moment, choosing his words carefully, "That the two of you have exceptionally poor timing."
She was silent. He gave her a small smile, reached across the table and touched a hand to hers and continued,
"He loved you – you weren't interested. You love him-"
"I don't love him–"
"And he's taken," He continued without missing a beat, he was looking at her like she was wounded, and that seemed to sting more than anything. That Sirius Black thought she was some suffering soul longing after James Potter, "He's happy and that hurts you most of all."
She shook her head, "No, it doesn't."
"No?"
"It doesn't hurt seeing him happy."
"Then what does? Because that face – the one you seem to wear whenever he's around, that's pain. Believe me love, I've felt enough of it to know what it looks like."
"It hurts that someone else is making him happy, okay?" She said with a sigh, burying her head in her hands, feeling tears prickle in her eyes, "Are you happy now?"
Her words seemed to echo in Sirius' ears, and he almost laughed at how outrageous the whole situation was. They were idiots, the both of them. And the whole damn school knew it.
"Are you sure you don't love him?" Sirius' hand was on her shoulder, and she couldn't deny that the warmth of his hand was comforting. Lily looked up towards the bar, where she spotted James looking over at them with a small frown. She averted her eyes down towards her drink, pushing her hair back over her ear before she mumbled,
"I don't know anymore."
