******The competition series is coming after this 'cause it's kinda like Fillmore High and a Short Story, okay? All 7 parts.... Geez.******
(the whole gang is sitting around in the Pizza Bowl, talking about what to do now that school 's over.)
Shirley: Why don't we take some summer classes, like a writing class?
Laverne: Shirl, this is the first year I don't get sent to summer school, and now you want me to go to summer school? No way.
Carmine: Well how about a dance class? They take up some time, and they're teaching us how to swing dance this summer.
Lenny: But if I wanted to swing I'd go to the park.
Squiggy: Len, swing dancin' is when ya take a girl to the park and push her on the swing.
Carmine: No, it's that dance when you do all that stuff like throw the girl in the air, twirl her around, you know.
Shirley: I'll go. Our regular classes aren't until Saturday. When do the classes start?
Carmine: This afternoon.
Laverne: Well, I got nothin' else to do. Me too. But don't I need a partner?
Lenny: I'll go, if I can dance with ya Laverne.
Laverne: Well, sure. Why not?
Squiggy: And I'll go and sit there and watch.
Everybody: Good.
(later that afternoon, Laverne and Shirley are in leotards and tights walking around the dance studio)
Laverne: I like the material this stuff is made out of. Don't it feel good?
Shirley: When is this class gonna start? Oooh, Laverne, won't it be great when we go to the dances at school and start swing dancin' in front of everyone?
Laverne: I just hope I don't fall. The floor's real hard.
Carmine: C'mon girls, the class is gonna start.
Shirley: Okay, but Carmine, I'm warning you, if you drop me, you're a dead man.
Carmine: Shirl, you never leave my arms.
Shirley: Aww, that's so sweet.
Carmine: I know, but I'm serious. You never go in the air without me holding on to you.
Shirley: Even better. You can lift me, right?
Carmine: We're just gonna have to find out.
Laverne: Hey Carmine, how come you wear those sweatpants and we wear these stretchy thingamajigs?
Carmine: Because you are gonna be in the air and sliding on the floor, and we're not. That's why.
(Lenny walks in with a leotard and tights on, and Laverne starts cracking up)
Laverne: (through laughter) Lenny, you're not supposed to wear those!
Lenny: Then this is a class in the nude?
Shirley: God forbid.
Laverne: You're supposed to wear a pair of sweatpants and a shirt like the one Carmine has.
Carmine: C'mon Len, let's go get you a pair.
Shirley: This is going to be so exciting!
Laverne: Maybe for you and Carmine, but I know Len is gonna drop me on the floor like a sack of potatoes.
Shirley: Oh Laverne, why do you say that? Lenny's strong. I hope.
Laverne: Let's take a look at the facts: You weigh about 80 pounds. I weigh (whispers it in Shirley's ear).
Shirley: That's not a lot.
Laverne: Okay, Carmine can benchpress about 2 of you. Lenny can benchpress a social studies textbook.
Shirley: That doesn't mean anything. Look Laverne, everything's gonna be okay. you're not gonna fall flat on your butt like some other people here.
Laverne: Oh, and another fact: you and Carmine have been taking dance classes for a long time. Lenny and me took one dance class with 6 year olds.
Shirley: Vernie, nothing bad's gonna happen. Just think positive.
Laverne: Ever thought that positive thinking don't work?
Carmine: Okay, come on girls, the class is gonna start.
Shirley: Don't worry Laverne, come on, there's not a lot of people here.
Laverne: Lucky for me.
Teacher: Alright, there's only 4 couples ? Good. Spread out, give everyone some room. Now, do some stretches on the bar. I expect each of the girls to do a full split like this.
(does a full split all the way to the floor)
Laverne: Does it count if we split in half while doin' that?
Shirley: Laverne! Look, it's easy.
(she slides to the floor)
Teacher: Very good, what's your name?
Shirley: Shirley, Shirley Feeney.
Teacher: good Miss Feeney. And I expect each of the boys to do a jazz split like this. You stretch out one leg in front of you and put your weight on your back leg. You put one arm to the side on the floor so you do not tip over and one arm in the air.
(Some how in the process, Lenny ends up tangled)
Laverne: Len! (pulls his legs apart)
Lenny: Thanks Laverne. I'll get the hang of this.
(after a lot of trouble and pretzel twisting, Lenny finally ends up in a jazz split.
Teacher: Good. Now do it again.
Lenny: Whatdaya mean?
Teacher: You stand up and split in that position, like Mr. Ragusa has done.
(Lenny tries, except he, by mistake, forgot to fold his back leg. He ends up doing a full split and screaming in agony)
Laverne: Hey Shirl! This class is dangerous!
Shirley: Oh, pishah Laverne, you'll get the hang of it.
Teacher: Is everyone warmed up?
(there's a lot of grumbling in the class with a lot of mumbled 'yes' es)
Teacher: Alright, boys, I want you all to pick up your partner like this.
(there's two teachers, and the female teacher is lifted up in the air by the male teacher with outstretched arms.)
Teacher: Everyone got it?
Laverne: Okay Len, lift me!
(he picks her up with no trouble)
Laverne: Hey Shirl! Look! I'm flyin'!
Shirley: I told you Laverne, I told you! No problems.
Teacher: Alright, now, guys, pick up your partner and swing her from side to side. Girls, remember to keep your legs stretched out.
(the four of them all have a raised eyebrow and a questioning look)
Shirley: Oh, I get it! I get it!
(Carmine and Shirley do the move with no trouble)
Laverne: Hey, that's good Shirl! C'mon Len, swing me!
(Lenny, suprisingly, has a natural talent for this, because he did this move with no trouble at all. )
Teacher: What is your name young man?
Lenny: Lenny Kosnowski.
Teacher: I'll call you Lenny.
(about three hours and 5 routines later they're walking to Shirley's house)
Shirley: See Laverne? That class was so much fun!
Laverne: I know, I mean, I thought I was gonna fall on my hiney the whole time, but Len didn't drop me once!
Carmine: Hey Len, how'd you learn to swing dance so good?
Lenny: I don't know, I kinda picked it up or somethin' .
Carmine: You know, me and Shirl's regular dance teacher was tellin' us about this swing dance competition there's gonna be in Chicago. Are you guys gonna enter?
Laverne: I don't know, I don't wanna be in Chicago by myself.
ShirleY: Oh no, see, that's the great part! The whole studio is going there for a competition! Me and Carmine will be there too!
Laverne: Well then I guess I'll enter, but only if Len will be my dance partner.
Lenny: Aww, sure. Okay then.
The next scrpit will be a special competition edition with Lenny, Laverne, Shirley, and Carmine all in Chicago for the Central Division Championships! Who will win in the big swing contest? Who will lose? What will happen? Gotta stay tuned and watch!
