Oedipus Got Fingered
(A modern classic by M. P. Orange)
One day, Oedipus was walking down the street. Life was good (and by good I mean terrible). His wife had killed herself, and so had his mother. On the same day! At the same exact moment! This would truly had been more amazing had they not been the same person. Oedipus let out a mighty chuckle. Being blind was hard, true, but Teiresias was blind too. While they weren't about to start some blind guy club, it was still reassuring for Oedipus. After all, Teiresias got all the chicks. Maybe the chicks liked blind guys. When optimistic, Oedipus thought so. The promise of hot honeys whose wombs he hadn't come out of made him excited.
Before he could get too excited, Oedipus calmed himself. He had a meeting with Antigone, after all. She had gone from a little bitch of a child to a big bitch of a teenager. She liked to frown a lot and shout, "I HATE YOU, DAD. YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!" whenever she had the chance. Oedipus didn't like this but he couldn't do much about it so he would just frown back.
They weren't a very happy family.
