The Mask of a Forgotten Mind

Chapter 1

The war was over... but no matter how hard he tried to leave it behind, Yue Jin couldn't erase it from his mind. The memories lingered no matter how far he ran…

In a remote village where no one knew of his past, history still followed. Quiet whispers here and there about the aftermath of great battles still came up. A scar was left even in the nearly forgotten farmland. In addition, a trained warrior could not forget skills that were almost automatic after so many years. He had a small understanding of medical techniques, enough to survive during a battle, and so he found himself at home sitting beside an unconscious man laying in his bed.

Even his vague understanding of medicine was more than those in the little village so they came to him in need. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to tell them no and generally it wasn't anything too difficult. A sprained ankle. Sometimes heat stroke. An animal bite. Usually it was simple cuts and bruises. Nothing he couldn't handle with a little patience and the appreciation seemed to brighten his day. The few hours of moments of company were nice since he spent most days alone.

Maybe he had gone soft. He was pretending to be a simple farmer. The villagers liked his patient and quiet side. It seemed like the old warrior aggression had dwindle into nothing more than a small buzz in the depths of his mind. He even owned a house and a small farm, enough to support his new life… and yet... he stared down at the man in his bed like the war had caught up with him once again.

It had been months since he had seen or spoken to any of his old friends, but the moment he saw the stranger he thought it was Li Dian. He had been frozen in the doorway at the sight of the unconscious man half draped over one of the farmers that lived nearby. The farmer had told him the story of finding the man, but it hadn't registered the first time.

After calming down he realized he was just jumping to conclusions. The stranger was tall and had the same wavy black hair as Li Dian… sure… but he was dirty and had a thick black beard. His clothes were disheveled, torn and fraying from overuse. He looked more like a hermit that had been squatting in the woods. Apparently, the farmer had stumbled upon the unconscious man deep in the woods while he had been out hunting. Unable to wake him, he had brought the man to the closest thing to a doctor in town. Glad to be rid of the problem the farmer handed over the stranger and went on his way.

That was over an hour ago.

Jin sat in a chair beside the bed patiently waiting for the stranger to stir, all the while trying to convince himself that it wasn't his old friend. He was still plagued with guilt about leaving him behind. They had been inseparable during the war. It was still painful to think of him, but that was in the past. He could only remain sane if he refused to think about it.

He examined the stranger again, pushing aside some of the shaggy black hair hanging in his eyes. Jin assumed he was just projecting his own longing onto the stranger, trying to see Dian in him out of some pitiful lonely yearning.

Dian had always been a beautiful man. Clean shaven and handsome, he had a long slender nose and strong chin. Reminiscent, he slid his fingers over the unconscious man's cheek. Long dark eyelashes were nearly hidden under the wave of hair. The resemblance was uncanny but he let out a sigh and sat back in his chair. There was no way the dirty old man was his old friend.

The fates were cruel.

Jin's ever present love for Li Dian obviously clouded his judgment. The man in the bed was just some wandering vagabond that got lost in the woods. Some weird hermit. Just as he crushed his last hope the stranger groaned.

Disoriented, he opened his eyes to an unfamiliar room. The last thing he remembered was... looking for food in the woods. He had been searching for so long and he was just so hungry. He had just laid down for a minute... he was just so hungry... but he wasn't about to die. He refused to die until he found...

"Here, have some water. You must be thirsty." The voice startled him as he looked at Yue Jin with wide eyes. He had been searching for so long… at first, he thought it couldn't be real. Then he looked down at the bed. He could feel the blanket beneath his fingers. He looked at Jin and took the glass from his hand. Taking a sip he felt the water run across his tongue. A wave of relief washed over him and he chugged down the rest of the glass.

Startled by the response Jin raised his hands but it was too late to stop his guest. "Be careful or you'll choke."

The words were followed by choking and coughing but that didn't stop the thirst.

Somehow the enthusiasm made Jin smile. He assumed it was just thirst. "Why were you out in the woods?"

The black haired man tried to respond but he found his voice caught in his throat. Those familiar brown eyes stared at him. The same tussled brown hair. The warm smile. He wasn't dreaming. It really was Yue Jin.

Apprehensive about the lack of response the brunette started to worry. "Can you tell me your name?"

He doesn't recognize me. His heart sank. He wanted to yell it's me. Li Dian. Can't you tell it's me? Don't you recognize your old friend? but as the thoughts raced through his head, his mouth betrayed him. "I don't remember." Instantly he wanted to smack himself.

Nodding slowly Jin made a decision. Maybe it was crazy, but he wanted to help the man. "I don't really have any experience with this but maybe you have amnesia. Do you remember anything? What about your name?"

Crying inside about his own cowardice Dian covered his face with his hands and lied again. "I don't know."

Unaware of the completely familiar man, afraid to admit it could be real, Yue Jin accepted the lie whole-heartedly. He leaned in and patted the 'stranger' on the shoulder. "Don't worry. You just need some rest. I'm sure your memories will come back to you."

Feeling defeated, Dian looked up at his old friend.

When their eyes met, Jin stopped, paralyzed by the blue eyes looking at him. The pitiful expression brought old memories to the front of his mind. Images of the war, fighting with his partner, his best friend and those puppy-dog eyes he use to make when he didn't get what he wanted. Guilt attacked him again but it was quickly replaced by anger. Li Dian, the real Li Dian was handsome. He was gorgeous and flashy. There was no way the grungy, disheveled, plain looking man on the bed could be Li Dian. No way.

With his feelings hardened Yue Jin relaxed. "Would you like some more water? You must be thirsty."

Handing the glass over, Dian gently nodded his head.

With a smile the brunette took the glass and left the room giving the other man a moment of peace.

Unable to resist any longer, Dian slapped his forehead feeling dumb. Where the lie had come from he had no idea… he had been so surprised that the words just flew out. He had been searching for months and when they were finally face to face, Yue Jin didn't even recognize him? Since the day the man disappeared Dian's every waking moment had been occupied by Jin. Was it all for nothing? A wave of disappointment waved over him and it was hard to breathe. He fell back into bed feeling dumbstruck.

Shortly, Jin arrived with more water. Noticing the man's distress he returned to his seat by the bed and placed the glass on the side-table. "I can't help you get your memories back... but if you want, you can stay here for a few days." Before he could respond, he stood up. "Just get some rest for now. Maybe you'll remember something in the morning." He started to walk away.

Dian turned to watch the retreating figure hoping for a reason to ask him to stay. Nothing came to mind...

Jin hesitated in the doorway, turning back after a moment. "You know, I can't just call you nothing." He paused for a long time but decided it would be alright. "How about I call you Dian?" The other man stared back in silent shock. "You look a bit like an old friend of mine."

He forced himself to respond. "Sure..."

With a little smile Jin nodded a goodnight and shut the door.

Heart racing, Dian smiled to himself thinking maybe things weren't as bad as he thought. He could pretend to have amnesia after all and find out about his friend's real feelings without being found out. He wanted to find out why Jin had left him behind. Most of all he wanted to know if his own feelings for Jin were still alive.

He blew out the lantern beside the bed and hoped for a peaceful sleep.