Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen nor do I own the play A Long Day's Journey into Night written by Eugene O'Neill. Anna's character is loosely based off the mother from that story, so she will be considered a little out-of-character. This story is slightly AU. It's rated T for implied drug use and there will be another disclaimer at the bottom for that as well.
Finally, I warn of Angst. This is not a happy story, so if you're expecting gooey, sisterly love between Elsa and Anna, please turn away.
Hollow
"Princess Anna," Kai called from behind the door. "Princess Anna!"
"Yeah?"
"I apologize if I woke you, your Highness, but the gates will open soon. It's time to get ready." Kai explained.
Anna rolled over on the bed, staring blankly at the dress in the corner of the room. It was the day of her sister's coronation. Her dear sister would become Queen, and they would open the gates for all to see. People, other than the soon-to-be Queen and staff, will be in the castle. The notion didn't cause Anna to stir from her bed, but she blinked a few times staring at the dress.
"Thank you, Kai." Anna replied. "I will be out shortly."
The girl rose from her bed and went over to the dish on the dresser, dipping a cloth in it and bringing it to her face. Everything needed to be perfect. Anna wiped away all the grime and signs of exhaustion from her exterior. She then went over to the dress in the corner and put that on as well, smoothing out any troublesome wrinkles that hid in the fabric. It had to be perfect. The girl returned to the front of the dresser, pulled one drawer open, and grabbed a brush. Her hair was long with a brilliant shine that resembled copper. She worked out all the knots before raising both hands to her head, making a braid that rounded her skull and placing her hair in a tight bun. It had to be perfect.
And it was.
Anna synchronized herself in the mirror before deciding she was ready for the day.
She opened the drawer again and a metal cylinder with a pointed end rolled into view. Anna cocked her head, focusing on the lustrous item. But before her thoughts could delve deeper on it, she threw the brush in the drawer and slammed it shut.
Anna briskly departed from her room and noticed an immediate change while walking down the hall. The window was open. Oh, and so was that window. And the door! Oh, they're all open and it was so bright in the castle. Anna smiled, twirling around to take it all in. A line of two servants marching in with stacks upon stacks of salad plates meandered around the slightly absentminded girl. She smiled at them too, and told them good morning.
She continued walking down the hall with a greater spring in her step. Oh, what a day it will be! There will be actual, real life people with her in the same castle, in the same room. She squealed with delight at thoughts of gentlemen gracing her presence. How charming they ought to be. Fantasies of meeting her true love played behind her glazed eyes, but Anna stopped suddenly.
Elsa approached her from the opposite end of the hall. The Princess looked around, but found that there wasn't a place she could hide or escape to. She continued down the hall, averting her gaze and turning her head away from her older sister. As they passed, Anna suddenly felt very cold. She always felt cold when she was around Elsa.
As soon as she made it pass the soon-to-be Queen, Anna darted down the hall to further the distance between them. It had to be perfect, so she would make sure to clear out of the way for the soon-to-be Queen if she had the misfortune to run into her again.
Anna glided down the staircase faster than she should have been and accidentally ran into Gerda; however, using her momentum, Anna grabbed the servant's hands and spun them around.
"Oh, pardon me, your Highness," Gerda apologized before she chuckled at Anna's antics.
"It was my fault, Gerda. I should have slowed down, but I thought the faster I reached the bottom of the steps, the faster I would get to see people." Anna let go of Gerda's hands and smiled.
"How are you feeling, dear?" Gerda questioned while studying the Princess's face.
"Never better!" Anna replied. "Why do you ask?"
Gerda was not prepared to answer. She opened her mouth, but closed it quickly.
"Just curious. And your head?" She inquired.
Anna brought her slender fingers to her temple, frowning slightly. "Just fine. No head pains. Why do you ask? The castle isn't out of supply is it?"
"No, no," Gerda answered quickly. We're fully stocked. I just wanted to make sure that you were feeling well enough for the coronation today."
Anna didn't say anything for a moment. She stared at Gerda for a long while before brushing past her. She called over her shoulder, "Just in case, I'll quickly visit with the pharmacist to see if I couldn't purchase any more."
"Wait! Princess Anna! The coronation is about to begin." Gerda shouted behind her, but the girl was already out of the door.
Anna dashed through the courtyard, beyond the castle gates, and looked around. The girl was elated. There were people around her and they were heading towards the castle. And as she passed them, she would smile and they would smile back. And as she greeted them, they would greet her in the same fashion. How kind! How unheard of! The Princess practically skipped to the end of the cobbled bridge, but halted in her tracks remembering why she left the gates in the first place.
The pharmacist.
He must still be working now. Yes, he must still be at his drugstore, for there was ample amount of time before the coronation. Anna marched in that direction, but stopped again. What if he were not there? What if he left already? Oh, the damned man making his way to the coronation for Elsa. Everything just had to be perfect. The pharmacist just had to attend. How dare he! Could he not fathom that Anna had her own needs too?
She huffed and continued on, however, she found herself leaning against the pole holding up the tarp over the flower market. And if he were not there? How could she handle not being prepared especially when considering that it was coronation day? She could not ruin this for Elsa. If her sister got even the slightest hint that something was wrong, she would surely kick Anna out of the castle.
The girl pushed off the pole, her heart rate increasing. She looked down and gasped, seeing the bald head of the pharmacist disappear behind the stone wall next to the docks. She rushed down the ramp, looking for him, but someone shoved her roughly aside. The Princess fell back into a boat and felt her momentum bring her closer to the lake. Tilting towards the smooth, liquid surface, her world flipped upside down as she looked towards where boats entered the fjord. But before her boat touched the water, the Princess felt herself being catapulted in the air as some great weight held it on solid ground.
Anna looked up to see a man dismounting from his horse and entering the boat to assist her.
"I'm so sorry," he apologized. "Are you hurt?"
He held out his hand and Anna took it, surprised by how the man was able to pull her up with little effort on her part.
"Ah, no. No. I'm fine. I mean, never better," she affirmed as blush filled her cheeks.
The man chuckled before dipping his head to her. "Prince Hans of the Southern Isles."
"Princess Anna of Arendelle," she greeted in return.
A look of realization came over him and he kneeled before her. However, as he went down to one knee, his horse bowed as well. Lifting his hoof caused both Hans and Anna to tumble to one end of the boat. The Prince coughed awkwardly, finding himself on top of the princess before they were launched to the other end of the boat. Anna looked down at him and she too squeaked in embarrassment.
They both abruptly stood in the boat.
"I would like to formally apologize," Hans began, "for hitting the Princess with my horse. And every moment after."
"No, no, it's fine! I mean, really, I'm okay. I am not that... I mean if you would have run into my sister, that would have been a whole different story!" Anna said, shimmying past him in the boat to get on solid ground. "Luckily, you just ran into me."
"Just you?"
Anna felt a warm flutter in her chest, noticing that Hans watched her with charming eyes. He was quite handsome. Tall and slender with a wonderfully broad and very capable chest. Hans carried a very charismatic sense with him, but Anna felt her focus drifting away from him and turning her ear towards the bells in the distance.
"The coronation," she realized and turned abruptly.
It had to be perfect.
She didn't even look back as she dashed towards the castle. Elsa would surely be upset with her if she wasn't there on time.
Oh, how it had to be perfect.
`*~.~*`
The princess could not believe her eyes as she entered the large ballroom doors. There was a sea of people gathered in the room, creating a very warm and joyous atmosphere. Anna was about to submerge herself in it until she heard her sister's name called.
"Queen Elsa of Arendelle," Kai gestured to Elsa walking towards her throne and nodding to the crowd.
"Princess Anna of Arendelle," Kai gestured in the other direction as Anna ran up to take her spot. Though Kai considered her too far away, and moved her closer to the Queen. Anna felt a sense of cold around her, and she side stepped away when people began applauding.
When the people turned away, Anna felt the need to gain their attention again. She began walking towards the crowd, but froze when she heard her sister's voice.
"Hi," Elsa greeted simply.
Anna turned. "Hi, me?"
The Queen nodded.
"Hi," Anna tucked a loose strand of hair away from her face, hoping her sister didn't see it.
"You look beautiful."
A compliment! Anna about passed out on the spot.
"Thank you!" She paused while staring at her sister, cocking her head to the side. "You look beautiful as well."
"Thanks," Elsa smiled before turning towards the room filled with people. "So this is what a party looks like."
"Yes," Anna breathed, turning to look out at them as well. "Isn't it wonderful?"
"Simply," Elsa agreed.
"I wish it could be like this all the time."
"Me too," Elsa paused, realizing what she just said. "But it can't."
Anna turned sharply towards her sister. "Why?"
"Because it just can't, Anna." Elsa defended.
The princess opened her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted by Kai who introduced the Duke of Weselton. The Queen nodded her head, however, Anna made no greeting to the shorter man. Instead her burning gaze remained on Elsa.
"As your closest partner in trade, it's only fitting I offer you your first dance as Queen." The Duke stated while bowing his head.
"Oh, I don't dance." Elsa's eyes darted between him and Anna. "But my sister does."
The Princess's eyes grew wide as the Duke looped one arm through hers and led her to the dance floor. The Duke spun her around, but her eyes easily locked on Elsa, shooting daggers in the Queen's direction.
"-agile peacock. Speaking of, it's so nice to have the gates open," he offhandedly commented. "Why did they shut them in the first place? Do you know the reason?"
Anna's temple began to stir as she felt her annoyance level rise. She did not care to dance with this man, but continued to by the wishes of her sister who she disliked very much currently.
"No, I don't." Anna said as the Duke took her hand.
He stood on his tiptoes to look her in the eye. Anna scowled at this. As if she would lie! How dare he. Goosebumps rose on her shoulders as she felt the stirring in her temple advance to a dull throb. The right side of her head began to feel cold as if snow had fallen on her skull.
"Hmm, no you don't." He said, disappointment dripping from his words.
They danced and Anna had found it very painful. He was a spiritedly old man, yet clumsy all the same. He stepped on Anna's feet with his heels, and Anna could not be more thankful to escape from his presence at the end of the song. The princess made her way towards an empty chair resting against the wall and sat down, relieving her sore feet.
"Are you okay?"
Anna looked up, seeing Elsa standing in front of her.
The cold spot on her head seemed to freeze over and she winced, bringing her hand to her temple. She brought her hand down quickly though, noticing her sister's expression, and looked away.
"I'm fine," she answered.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just throw you out there. You don't have to dance with anyone else if you don't want to." Elsa clarified.
"Thank you for your permission, your Highness." Anna replied coolly.
"How's your head?" Elsa asked.
"Fine," Anna continued without missing a beat, "how are your hands?"
"What?" The Queen looked down towards her palms before taking a small step away from her sister. "What do you mean?"
"You think your hands are better than mine," Anna says accusingly. "That's why you made me dance with the Duke, so your perfectly gloved hands don't have to be reduced to such indignities."
"What? Anna you know I don't believe that." Elsa tried to convince her sister. "Anna, please."
"Admit it! You believe your hands are better than mine." The princess's voice rose and people began looking over at the two sisters.
Elsa looked around before turning away. "Anna, you know I don't think that. Enough with this nonsense, please." The pleading in Elsa's voice caused Anna to sit back in her chair. The princess hung her head and mumbled an apology. Elsa looked back at Anna with sad eyes; however, before she could say anything, Kai caught her attention to introduce her to another dignitary.
Anna felt ashamed for her outburst towards her sister. She stood abruptly, desiring to leave so that she could be out of the Queen's way. How could she dare ruin this night for Elsa? Anna brought her hand to her head, feeling the ache pestering at her skull. She needed to go. She needed a remedy. Anna quickly made her way through the throngs of people toward the door. Before she could leave, however, someone caught her hand.
She turned and gasped, seeing Hans standing behind her.
"Leaving so soon?" He asked. "And without a dance?"
She smiled. Maybe she could afford just one dance, forgetting entirely about why she wanted to leave. And so they did dance. Hans guided her around the room with such grace and avoided stepping on her feet. Anna decided that the Duke could learn a few things from the Prince. When they were not dancing, they were walking together. And when they were not walking, they were talking together. And when they were not talking, they were gazing at the stars together. Anna, for the first time in forever, felt as if everything were perfect.
She showed him around the castle, finding places they shouldn't be in. They hid from the guards and pilfered through the royal supply of sweets. They had been gone for nearly two hours when Hans finally hinted at that they should return to the party.
Anna nodded, but clutched on to the Prince's sleeve with a sudden desperation. "But we can't go back through the main doors," she says.
"Alright, how do you suggest we get back in then?" Hans asked with a sly smile, thinking of it as an adventure.
Anna inclined her head to the balconies in front of them.
"You want us to jump all the way there?" He questioned.
"Elsa won't see us! The round about will only take us four or five jumps." Anna explained, looking over to the balcony where people flitted in and out of the ballroom. "It will be crazy."
"I like crazy." Hans agreed as he stepped onto the railing, lending his hand to the princess below. She took it and he hoisted her up with ease before they jumped, hand in hand, from each balcony to the next. It was actually very dangerous for the two of them to be performing such acts; however, one or two drinks sipped on previously in the evening may have persuaded them otherwise. Somewhere along the way, they became separated and Hans was actually the first to make it to the ballroom balcony.
"Watch out!" Anna cried behind him.
He turned and tried to move out of the way, but he was too sluggish. The princess ended up crashing into his arms as they stumbled into another couple already standing outside.
"Glad I caught you." He looked down at her and began chuckling.
"I'm glad you did as well." A fit of giggles took over her body as well as she looked back up.
Anna straightened then as Hans leaned down, closer to her face. She could feel his breath against her face, and they almost locked lips until the Queen saw them.
"Anna! For goodness sake there you are! What on earth are you doing?" Elsa shrieked.
Hans was suddenly torn away from Anna and replaced by her sister, livid beyond imagination.
"I've been looking everywhere for you. Do you realize how long you have been gone? No! Don't answer that." Elsa whipped around and gave Hans a fierce glare. "Don't you dare let me catch you doing anything like that again." She looked around him then. "Guards escort this man out and the rest of the guests. The party is over. Close the gates."
"No!" Anna shrieked. "Elsa, please don't!"
"And you," the Queen rounded again, staring at Anna. "Do you realize how long you were gone from the party? Do you realize how many people asked for you? I was in such a fright."
Anna shrank back against the railing, tears streaming down her face.
"We're never opening the gates again." Elsa turned and began walking away from her sister.
"Elsa! Please, no! I can't live like this." Anna wailed.
"Then leave!" Elsa called over her shoulder before exiting the ballroom.
The princess felt very cold then. A sudden bitter wind whipped up outside. Anna turned to look out across the courtyard, watching the guards escort the people out. She attempted to find Hans in the sea of people, but it was useless. Anna crumpled to the ground, letting the sobs take her over. Not one servant attended to the princess as she settled on the balcony for a good cry. No, they were too busy cleaning up after the party; part of them wanted to reach out because of their pity for the girl, but their fear of the Queen held them back.
`*~.~*`
Maybe she had been too harsh on Anna. She was just surprised and her anger channeled in ways that she wasn't used to. Elsa was not used to confrontation with her sister. It was a foreign feeling entirely. She paced back and forth in her room, rubbing her temples tirelessly as she played the scene over and over again. Could she have handled the situation better? No. Anna was acting childish and ignorant and-
Elsa opened her eyes abruptly when she heard the sound of ice forming. Her room was bathed in frost and snowflakes were suspended in the air. Alarmed at her power, Elsa shrank into herself, reciting the words her and her father chanted together so long ago.
"Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel. Don't feel. Don't feel!" Elsa muttered. When she felt like the storm had subsided, she opened her eyes and let out a breath that she could see in the chilly air
"Queen Elsa!" She heard someone call from the door.
"Go away Anna," she said reflexively.
"It's Gerda, your Majesty."
Elsa blinked in surprise. How far out of it was she this evening?
The Queen forced open the frozen door, but only enough to allow her head to slip through.
"Yes? How can I help you?"
"I understand it's very informal for me to intrude on you at this hour when you're retired to your room, but you should attend to your sister." Gerda's voice had taken a stern tone that Elsa hadn't heard since before her mother passed away. She was too surprised to be offended by it.
"Pardon?"
"Anna is roaming the castle again while under influences due to her sorrows that you so hellishly caused for her. You made this mess Elsa now you need to attend to it." Gerda snapped before marching away from the Queen's door.
Elsa's eyes were wide as she watched the servant walk down the hall. The Queen made her way out of the room and towards her sister's door. She found that Anna was not in her room; however, upon looking in, she saw the open drawer. A glass bottle rested on top of the dresser and a lustrous, silver item left unattended on the ground.
"Oh, no," Elsa breathed. "What have I done?"
`*~.~*`
"Joan you undoubtedly fought in many hard battles. I can't even imagine what it must be like to wield a sword and to strike, but I do get the concept of pain. No one will ever hurt you more than those you love." Anna spoke in a detached tone.
Her constricted eyes roamed aimlessly around the portrait room as she spoke. "Elsa and I used to be so close, building snowman, playing in the halls, but then one day she just shut me out."
Anna blinked once before her expression changed in to that of anger. "She ignored me because she thought her hands were better than mine. Her perfectly gloved hands that even Papa idolized! Oh, what I would do to take them from her," Anna growled, heaving for air. Her breaths were quick, her face flushed.
Her tone became detached again, "Mama and Papa were so preoccupied with their precious Elsa that they didn't even pay attention to me. I get head pains, Joan. Honest I do. They're not like the aches that everyone says they are. It's like my skull freezes over and I can't think or focus on anything, except the pain."
Anna's eyes slide up to the portrait she is speaking with, her mouth slightly open and her head nods slowly. "You're right Joan. I should take another shot. It will ease the pain."
The girl pauses, this time not even focusing on anything in the room. Her eyes are distant. "Someday I hope I overdose, Joan." Anna whispered.
The room is quiet then, but Anna can hear the padding of feet from the hall. The door creaks open suddenly, and Anna turns and smiles.
"Ah, the Queen," Anna begins clapping and inclining her head to Elsa.
"I heard you talking to yourself again." Elsa ignores her sister's applause.
"I was talking to Joan, here." Anna gestured to the portrait.
"No, you were talking to yourself. That is a painting, Anna. It's simply tangible and can't speak to you." Elsa explained.
Anna blinked. "It talks to me when I want it too because you refrain from ever doing so. All you do is shut me out."
"It is for good reason." Elsa stated.
"It's because your selfish." Anna snaps back. "You only want to keep your perfect hands to yourself. You don't want to share them with me that is why you wear the gloves. Papa loved so much that he gave you those special gloves.
"Anna," Elsa's voice sounded tired and strained. "Please, not this again."
The princess seemed to calm down, but re-approached the Queen with an annoyed gaze. "What do you want, Elsa?"
The Queen paused, looking slightly unsure of what to say. She gathered her thoughts though, gazing at Anna with stern eyes. "To discuss your actions this evening. What were you thinking going off with a man who you hardly knew?" Elsa asked, striding towards her sister, but stopped a good distance away as not to get too close.
"He loved me," Anna let out a shaky breath.
Elsa heaved a sigh and cast her eyes to the ceiling. "Anna, he did not love you. You just met him. What do you even know about love?"
"Nothing!"
Her voice was piercing. Her voice was loud. And it commanded Elsa's attention.
"I don't know what love is because my parents died when I was younger and my sister shut me out." Anna said.
It was not the answer that Elsa was expecting. She expected to chastise Anna, and the stern talking to she was prepared to give dissipated within her. In fact, a very hallow feeling grew in Elsa's chest, yet her expression remained neutral.
Conceal, don't feel.
"I wanted to let someone love me. I wanted to know the feeling of loving someone and feeling it in return." Anna spoke softly.
"Anna, you cannot fall in love with someone after spending one evening with them." Elsa's voice sounded paternal.
"You're just jealous!"
"Jealous of what?"
"Jealous that I showed someone else my affections besides my selfish sister." Anna shouted.
Elsa had quite enough of Anna's behavior and felt the irritation blow over inside her.
"Why would I ever be jealous of a sister who is a dependent user of the needle?"
And then the silence between them became piercing. Elsa covered her mouth as soon as the words came out. What little remaining life drained from Anna's eyes as she turned away from her sister. The princess dragged her feet as she walked towards one of the benches in the room, and she slumped against it, resting her head in her hands.
"Anna I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," Elsa apologized. She brought her gloved hands to her chest as she rushed over to Anna. The Princess didn't look up as she approached. "Anna, I didn't mean that. I swear on my life it was just a slip of the tongue." The girl still did not look up. Elsa kneeled in front of Anna and did something that she had not done for thirteen years. She rested her hands on Anna's lap, letting her know she was there for her. The princess jumped, not expecting any physical contact from her sister.
"I'm so sorry, Anna." Elsa apologized again, but the Princess's eyes did not rise to look the Queen in the eye. Instead, they remained trained on the gloved hands in her lap. Tears hid the thoughtful look in her eye as her mind raced. An impulse possessed Anna then as she snatched the gloves off Elsa's hands, pushed her sister aside, and dashed out of the room.
"I've got them! I've got them!" Anna cried.
Fear gripped Elsa then as she held her hands desperately close to her chest. "Anna, no!" A new sense of urgency filled her voice as she took after her sister. "Give them back!" The Queen hollered down the hallway. The princess was already rounding the corner at the end of the corridor. Elsa grabbed her skirts and chased after her. Frost collected on her dress from the contact.
Don't feel!
As she turned the corner, a blazing light caused her heart to drop.
"No! Anna! Don't!" Elsa screeched as she outstretched her hand, but it was too late. The fire was already lit and the gloves were already thrown on the logs.
A blue light zeroed in on Elsa's hand before shooting out , spiraling in Anna's direction. The kneeling Princess was struck in the chest, landing a few inches away from the now extinguished and frozen fire place.
"Anna," Elsa cried, horrified by her actions. She ran to her sister, forgetting her charred yet very frozen gloves in the fire place. Anna was on her back, her hair turning white, and her eyes closed. Elsa came behind her sister, going down on her knees, and lifting Anna so the girl was leaned up against her torso.
Elsa was in a panic then as she cradled her sister in her arms. Frost covered the room at a dangerously fast rate, and it didn't just stop there. Ice began covering the halls. Spikes erupted from the ground and windows cracked. This felt all too familiar to the Queen as she looked towards the doorway, expecting to see her parents, but all she could see was a frozen cavern of a hallway.
Hollow and empty.
Anna began to mumble something has her head rolled off Elsa's shoulder. Her eyes fluttered halfway open and she looked up.
"Anna!" Elsa mewled.
"Elsa," her voice sounded weak.
"I've got you, Anna." She cooed.
"I knew he didn't love me," the princess whispered, for it was the only thing she could muster. Another strip of her hair turned white. "The only person who has ever loved me was you, despite everything." Anna tried to smile, raising her finger to point at Elsa's heart.
"It hurts, Anna."
"You should try the morphine. It makes the feeling hollow." Anna trembled then in Elsa's arms, not able to fight off the shivers that took over her body.
"You're going to be okay, Anna," Elsa lied.
The Princess blinked, her eyes were foggy. She turned her head towards the ceiling.
"Look, Elsa," her voice was quiet. Her voice was small. Her hair was all white now. "It's snowing."
Tears streamed down the Queen's face.
"Do you wanna build a snowman?"
She said it with her last breath as her body froze.
Elsa felt her heart crumble and her body shuddered with sobs.
And no one came to console the Queen because the only person who would laid very still in her arms.
2nd Disclaimer: Anna's character is based loosely off of another from a different story mentioned above. I did not base her off of what I think a morphine user is.
A/N: We read the story A Long Day's Journey into Night in one of my classes. Because it's painfully hard to pay attention in that class, I began daydreaming and borrowed elements from that story and combined it with Frozen. I enjoyed the challenge of writing this, and it made me even a little sad in the end.
Thoughts?
