Never the Same Again

Arthur and his knights were on their way back to the outpost that was their home in Britain. For months now Arthur and Lancelot were becoming more and more attracted to each other, but both thought the attraction was one sided therefore neither said anything.

On their journey they were attacked by the Britains during the fight Arthur lost sight of Lancelot even though he was worried he knew Lance was out there amongst the other fighters. However when the battle ended there was no trace of him anywhere all they found were his swords.

They all knew Lancelot was never without his swords they searched the bodies none of them thankfully belonged to their friend. Lancelot had been taken captive and he had been injured, his right leg was broken.

Arthur and the others searched but still could find no sign of their friend Bors headed over to the trees to relieve himself that was when he saw torn pieces of Lancelot's clothing.

Millions of thoughts kept running through Arthur's head when they first found Lancelot gone. 'Was he hurt somewhere? Was he dead?' when Bors said that he found some of Lancelot's clothing Arthur was both relieved and worried at the same time the knights mounted up and rode looking for any more clues of their friend.

Even though he didn't want to they were forced to stop when night fell. At the Britains camp Lancelot had been bound and gagged his leg at an odd angle. He was dosing when it happened, he was grabbed by a few of the Britains and pushed to the ground he tried to fight but he was in no condition to do so.

Lancelot was flipped onto his stomach after he was fondled and his pants torn off. Despite the gag his scream could be heard for a few miles as he felt the cock enter him forcefully, there had been no preparation what so ever. Lancelot felt the blood as his thighs were covered with it.

Normally he wouldn't do this but Lancelot was begging as best as he could for this to stop. His thoughts were about Arthur, about how he wouldn't likely see him again. He wished he had told him he loved him. Those were Lancelot's last thoughts before he passed out.

As soon as the sun began to creep into the sky Arthur and the knights mounted and rode. It would be two more days before they would find the remains of the Britains camp. As well as a lot of blood in on particular area. Following the tracks as best they could that evening they found the new camp and it was then they heard Lancelot yell out in pain.

The knights were barely able to hold Arthur back. "They are hurting him we have to help him" Arthur yelled at them.

"Arthur we know you want to help him we all do, but you can't just charge in there. All that will happen is they will kill him" Gawain said looking Arthur in the eyes. Arthur nodded and the others released him.

They formed a plan the knights would create a distraction and Arthur would grab Lancelot then they would ride as quickly as they could. When Arthur found Lancelot he felt his heart break into tiny pieces. There was blood on his thighs, his was leg broken, his face was bruised , his lip was split, and there were several deep gashes on his torso.

"Lance" Arthur said quietly as he knelt next to his friend who he loved dearly.

"A…Arthur" Lancelot choked out.

"I'm here, I'm going to get you out of here just hold on a little longer"

"K…Knew you…" Lancelot began to cough up a little blood. "Would come" he finished then he began to lose consciousness.

"Don't you dare go to sleep on me, that's an order" Arthur said desperation in his voice.

"So…tired, Arthur…so tired" Lancelot said his eyelashes fluttering.

"No" Arthur said lightly slapping his cheeks to keep him awake, it worked quickly he wrapped Lancelot in his cloak and picked him up carefully, still even though he was careful Lancelot still let lose a pained moan.

Arthur hurried to where he was to meet the others when they saw Lancelot they couldn't believe their eyes. He was bleeding very badly. Tristan examined him as soon as it was safe.

When he was done we covered Lance with a cloak then pulled Arthur aside. "How is he?" Arthur said trying not to let his panic show.

"Not good Arthur, from what I could tell he has been taken brutally. Arthur there maybe internal damage and that is something that I cannot fix."

Arthur felt like he would collapse upon hearing the news. "Is there no hope for him"

"We can only make him comfortable and hope his body can fix itself"

"Make a litter we have to get him away from here" When they were ready Lancelot was placed on it and the began there long ride. Arthur rode next to Lancelot talking to him letting him know he was not alone.

Lancelot was in pain as he was loaded on the litter and as they rode. But through it all he heard Arthur's voice telling him that he had to live that he loved him more then life itself. It was Arthur's voice that kept him from fading away and giving into darkness.

Arthur pushed the horses as much as possible wanting to get Lancelot to real healers. One of the times they had to stop Tristan examined Lancelot, he was burning up and mumbleling incoherently.

Finally they arrived and the healers began to examine Lancelot. It was several hours before one of them came to speak with Arthur and the knights. They all looked at the healer with a variety of expressions mostly concern.

"How is he, will he live" Arthur found himself asking.

"He still burns, he has been torn badly. It is up to him now we have done all we can" The knights each went in the room to see Lancelot for themselves, Arthur was the last when the others had left he settled in a chair next to the bed and found himself holding one of Lancelot's hands with one hand and wiping his face with a cool cloth with the other.

"You must come back to me Lance, I cannot lose you" And it was with every whimper and moan that Lancelot released in the following hours he felt his hopes diminish. The knights forced Arthur to eat and rest saying that when Lancelot woke up if he found out that you haven't been taking care of yourself he would cuff you upside the head.

For days Lancelot burned with fever not growing any better. When dawn came several days after their return Arthur found his hand going to touch Lancelot's face it was cool to the touch, the fever had broken.

"Lancelot" Arthur said softly not daring to hope. Slowly the knights eyes opened falling upon Arthur.

"A…Ar…Arthur" Lancelot said weakly. Arthur shushed him and fetched him water and gave him a few sips before sitting back down.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again" Lancelot tried to smirk but failed. Lancelot was talking with Galahad later that evening when he learned Arthur had not left his bedside unless he was forced to namely by Gawain and Tristan.

It was weeks before Lancelot was allowed to try and walk both because of his leg and the internal damage he had suffered. He managed a few steps before he had to rest. Through it all Arthur was there for him lending his strength to the fallen knight. One evening Lancelot was resting in bed and Arthur was there sitting next to it talking.

"Arthur" Lancelot said when he had stopped to take a sip of wine.

"Yes, Lance what is it?"

"Do you know what my last conscious thoughts were as I was raped" Arthur shook his head. "My last thoughts were of you Arthur, of realizing that I wouldn't probably see you again and that I never told you that I love you"

Arthur was silent for a long time so long that Lancelot was beginning to wish that he hadn't said anything. "Arthur say something please, anything"

"Oh Lance, I have loved you for so long now I never knew you felt the same all this time we could have been together if it weren't for our foolishness."

"Arthur" Lancelot whispered as Arthur leaned over and kissed him. Everything was fine for a few moments before Lancelot began to panic as memories assaulted him. He knew Arthur would never hurt him but still…

Arthur held him as he struggled to regain control of his breathing. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry" Lancelot said as tears fell down his cheeks.

"No Lance, I am to blame. I should have waited, I should have been sensitive to the fact that you might not be able to stand my touch"

"I want your touch but my memories of what happened…"

"It is alright we will work through this together."

It would take many months before Lancelot was able to stand Arthur's touch but he was never really the same again. He became more reserved to everyone, and to a lesser extent Arthur. The internal damage never fully healed so when they would make love it was Lancelot who took Arthur. But through it all they stood together.