So I was supposed to be writing the next chapter of Capri and One Weekend when this demanded to be written! This was also supposed to be a one shot and well you know me I can never stick to writing one shots so this will have a second chapter and most likely from Helen's point of view. I had been reading Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice (for the millionth time) and more specifically Mr Darcy's letter to Elizabeth when the idea to substitute Nikola for Darcy and Helen for Elizabeth struck me and well you catch my drift! Now for those of you who have seen the episode Chimera the title will sound familiar and others will know it from the sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I have used some of the wonderful lines in that sonnet here but I've written my own twist on it.

To set the scene – Nikola has an invention that has gone drastically wrong and has gravely injured one of 'the children'. I'll let you, my reader; decide for yourself which of 'the children' has been hurt. Let me know who you think it might be and I'll let the person who guesses correctly (I have a 'child' in mind) give me a scenario for the next chapter and if I like it I'll include it!

A huge thank you and hugs go out to Tashah2109 for the quick beta on this and to wackyjacqs, a newbie to the world of Sanctuary and Teslen in particular, for her words of encouragement ( I will try and believe ;) ) . As ever I don't own anything not even Nikola…*goes to sob in a corner* So with that huge A/N I'll leave you to enjoy (hopefully) this piece…

Let Me Count The Ways

Nikola was angrily pacing in his room. He couldn't think straight. He felt the need to work off his anger alone before he said something he regretted and so he had left Helen without a word. Damn exasperating woman! When did the world's moral compass start and end with Helen Magnus? Who was she to decide that what he did with his inventions was right or wrong? Why must she always find fault with every brilliant idea I have? Women, they do nothing but make you feel guilty! I have done nothing wrong. Not true, a small voice stated in his head. Helen is not the one making you feel guilty. You were doing a wonderful job in that area all by yourself before Helen turned that 'look' on you. You know the one. The look that says 'I'm so disappointed in you and I expected more from you.' Yes that look. One look from Helen and he turned into a chastised little boy having been told off by his teacher. One look from Helen could also be the undoing of any man. This he knew from first-hand experience. He was lost the moment he set eyes on her all those years ago and he had never wavered.

Nikola stopped pacing suddenly. It struck him that he was completely in the wrong and he must apologise to Helen immediately. He was a stubborn man most of the time and was arrogant enough to believe himself always right and so had never felt the need to apologise for his actions to anyone with the exception of Helen Magnus. He could never stand it for too long if they were not speaking for some reason or another. Above everything else Nikola sought Helen's approval, craved it even. If Helen was upset with him there was always a very good reason. Usually it had to do with one or other of his plans going awry. This time though it was personal. This time he'd really messed things up. This time there may be no going back. How was he going to get Helen to listen to him and not have her walk away from him? She was mad enough to do just that and had every right. He had after all injured one of 'the children'. No he needed her attention; he needed her to know he was genuinely sorry. What to do? Out of the blue an idea hit him like a strike from one of his own Tesla coils. Of course! Why hadn't he thought of it before? He'd write a letter of apology. He grinned to himself remembering a confession of Helen's when they were back at Oxford. She loved receiving handwritten letters particularly from her father when he was away on his travels and she was longing to hear news. Helen found it the height of ignorance to ignore a letter that someone had taken the time to write and so Nikola felt he was onto a winner. Though on second thoughts maybe it wasn't such a good idea, Helen may just tear up the letter in anger. Still it couldn't help to try.

My dear Helen

You may be surprised to find this letter in your possession in the course of the morning. However, as well as that may be, I will apologise now for being presumptuous with your ever needed attention. My mind however, would not let me rest until I had written to you.

Let me start by saying how truly sorry I am that you are angry with me at this present time. I know you are resisting the urge to eye roll right now but please refrain, you know full well that I don't apologise lightly and so you must know of my sincerity. I now I fear I've irritated you once again but enough with the apologies. You are most likely wondering why I've taken the liberty to write to you rather than speak with you in person. The answer is simple, dear Helen, one look from you and words would fail me as they often do in your presence. There is no need to deny this as I am certain you are fully aware of your effect on me.

Our argument has stirred up some feelings which must be reiterated once again. You know more than anyone that I am not afraid to throw a salacious remark towards you and most likely I have done so in public on more than one occasion. On this occasion however, those kinds of remarks will just not make the grade. And so I will rely on the excellent writings of a poet close to your heart Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

How do I love thee?

Yes Helen, love. I do. And more than you will ever know. More I fear than I will ever be able to show you. But I long to try if you'll let me.

Let Me Count The Ways.

The way one look from you can quicken my slow beating immortal heart in a moment.

The way your brow wrinkles when you're deep in thought.

The way your cheeks dimple when you smile.

The way you tolerate my thinly veiled attempts to get close to you.

The way you assert your intelligence without alienating those around you.

The way you are with 'the children'. (I have to say I admire your fortitude in this instance!)

The way you'll let me make up for my mistakes even if I don't deserve your forgiveness.

The way your true beauty lies within the deeds you do on a daily basis.

And last but not least the way I love you more with each passing day.

I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

The above needs no explanation.

I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!

Helen, if you take anything from this letter know that each sentence was written with love and I offer once again my deepest and most humble of apologies.

Yours forever

Nikola

PS. The way you look sexy with a gun! Sorry I couldn't resist one innuendo it was begging to be used! N x