Hey! Yet again I have written enough one-shot, which will defiantly stay a one-shot this time, even though I wrote an aftermath to cheer me up because this story made me cry so much. The ending to My Confusing Romance made me cry is well :'( But anyway, I hope you like this story as much as I do, because I think it's the best thing I've ever written.
Everything in Italic's is a flashback. Just saying in case you don't catch onto that. Please Review, even though I know it's very rare that you ever do.
This is all your fault. All because you're not good enough; just ugly and weak. Look at you. Pathetic. How long have you stood here looking at your reflection, while he's probably off fucking her right now? I squish my eyes shut and walk away, after two hours, maybe more. I can't believe this, I mean, he said he loved me.
"You're beautiful, ya know?" he said and lifted my chin up to kiss me. It was just us, on the hood of his car in the dark. "I love you" he whispers, once our lips break. I blush and smile like mad. Hiding my head back in his chest, he giggles and looks back up at the stars.
"I love you too. Forever and always. You'll see"
And I continue staring back up at the stars, not knowing his words in years to come would become a lie.
We'd been together so long. How many of the years we've been together has he been regretting it? Six years. Six fucking years we've been together. I've known him for ten.
I walk home from school along side my best friend. I've only known him 2 months but I'm closer to him then I have ever been to anyone. We're on our way to his house to kill zombies, but I know his real reason behind it is to show off to his brother that he has a friend. He says he can't wait for his brother to meet me, and that I'll get on great with him. Once we've reach the door, we walk through it to be met by his brother. Pale skin, black shoulder length hair and utterly gorgeous. He holds out a hand for me to shake and greets cheerily, "Hey, I'm Gerard"
But I am speechless. Not knowing this is the boy who will break my heart, beyond repair.
He was never even a people person. That's what I liked best. Knowing he didn't even like people enough to do this to me. But it seems, he became confident enough to…. And it hurts. It hurts so much.
"He'll only hurt you. And when you two spilt up, I refuse to takes side and will ignore you both. Or…well I guess it all depends how you both spilt up" I wasn't really listing to my best friend at the moment. I was still dreamy over the fact his hot-older-brother-who-I've-liked-since-we-meet asked me on a date. "Where's he taking you anyway?"
"I thought you didn't want to hear about, and I quote, 'your stupid date with my retarded brother' " I answer, and then carry on smiling stupidly.
"I don't…I'm still interested though".
"Well, your interest will not be settled, 'cause I don't know. It's a surprise" I look over to Mikey who rolls his eyes looking seriously annoyed.
"Whatever. It'll probably be somewhere remote, and cheap. Most likely just sitting on his car doing nothing".
"Oh, how romantic…" I sigh. Then relies how much of a girl I sound like.
"It'll probably be cold is well. Remember to take a jumper; I don't need your health being fucked with".
I ignore my friend as he mothers over me and continue to day dream about Gerard. Not knowing that it'll be my emotions he fucks with.
I consider calling Mikey now, but honestly can't be doing with the 'I told you so'. Even though I know he won't be that mean. Or maybe I'm afraid of seeing the same eyes as the ones who betrayed me. But maybe it's because I have something better to do. That's it. But before I do that I want to remember more.
I place down the last box and smile around at our new home. Gerard's arms snake themselves around my waist. I let out a content sigh and lean back into his warm body. "Can you believe we have our own place together?" We'd been together only 2 years, having to make sure how long our parents would be out, for us to do anything together. It'll be nice to have our own space.
"I know." I turn around in his arms, so I'm now facing him "What do you want to do first?" I ask seductively, playing with the loose threads on his old hoodie. He grins widely at me, before pushing us into our new bedroom. Dropping down onto the bed I make work of taking off his hoodie, and then the batman t-shirt underneath. That done, I straddle his hips, planting kisses across his body; this is always my favourite thing do. I go to his collar bone; his sweet spot, spending my time there.
I plan on making a nice hickey on his pale skin. Not knowing that in the future, a new hickey will be there, one that I didn't make, which will ruin our 'prefect' relationship.
I walk back into our bedroom, where we were going to have sex only hours ago. I sit on the end of the bed and look around, my eyes falling on a picture. I get up, and slowly walk over to it. Picking it up, I remember when it was took, Alicia's 21st birthday, only a year ago.
"Do you think I look alright, Gee?" I ask my boyfriend of five years, standing to the side in our full length mirror, poking my stomach. "Do you think I look fat?" I frown at my reflection.
"I think you look great" He says, wrapping his arms behind me, looking into the mirror is well. "Sexy even" he then whispers, in a way that sends a shiver down my spine. He looks amazing. His hair cherry red, skinny black jeans and leather jacket. So sexable. "Do you think we have time to have amazing sex?" I let out a surprised laugh, which came out more like a snort.
"No, we'll be late" I wiggle out of his grasp and go put on my converse.
"It's good to be fashionably late" He mumbles, grabbing his car keys.
"We're already fashionably late. If we leave it any longer we'll be ignorantly late" I smirk back slipping out the door.
"Happy Birthday, Alicia!" I laugh hugging her tightly, then let go for Gerard to repeat my actions.
"And who are these handsome boys?" Sat next to Alicia is a girl, most likely around the same age as our birthday girl, with black hair in piggy tails.
"This is Mikey's brother Gerard and his boyfriend Frank" Alicia pointed to each of us in turn, then gasped and ran off before she could introduce the stranger, who laughed kindly at the way Alicia is so easily distracted.
"Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Lindsey." She smiled at us, holding out a hand for us to shake.
I shook her hand, smiling kindly back. Not knowing this is the girl who would later steal the love of my life.
I set the picture down, not wanting to look at his face any longer, it hurts too much. Instead, I now make my way to the bathroom. Opening the cabinet, finding what I need straight away. A cheap razor. I make work on trying to get the blade out remembering when I brought it with Gerard.
Shopping with Gee isn't one of my favourite things to do, not at all. He always seems to think we need everything. I spend most of my time putting the things back that he had put into our trolley. A Clearblue ovulation test is suddenly dropped into the cart, and seriously, what the hell. "Gerard?" I asked stopping and picking up the box. He turned around and just looked at me, as if there was nothing weird in what he was buying. "Why do we need an ovulation test?"
"To see if we're ovulating…" he better be fucking with me.
"Gerard, what gender are we?" I continued tiredly, and he huffs out a sigh.
"Please Frankie, it'll be fun. Chandler did it on friends"
"Yeah…I'm putting it back". And that's what I did, grinning at Gerard's defended face. After finding the right brand of painkillers and placing them into the trolley, I looked up at my boyfriend now picking out a pregnancy test. "No" I say sternly, and he puts it down. Instead picking up a bag of cheap razors, and I gave him a look.
"What if we run out and I've suddenly grown a beard?" I sighed giving in, and he drops the bag into the trolley, smiling at his triumph.
We made our way out of the healthcare aisle, carrying on with our shopping trip. Not knowing that the objects just brought, will bring me a silent relief in the near future.
After finally succeeding in getting out the silver object in hand, I start to have second thoughts. I can't really do this. Not to Mom, Mikey, Ray, Alicia, even Bob. Maybe even Gerard would care. Then I remember our fight, and I think maybe not. Thinking about it pushes all doubts out of my head.
The feeling of Gerard kissing, sucking and nipping at my neck is always the best feeling ever. I slowly open my eyes when I no longer feel him on my neck. He's hovering above me just staring, smiling sweetly. I blush and turn my head under his gaze. "What the fuck is that?" The thing in question is a bruise, red and blue, on his pale collar bone. Not a bruise, a fucking hickey.
"You did it, Frankie" He laughs, but I see right through it. I can notice the little nervous tint in his voice.
"Gerard. We both know I haven't given you a hickey in months" I say dryly and shove him off me. "Are you cheating on me?" I whisper, already feeling my eyes start to water.
"No!" He answers almost too quickly.
"Don't fucking lie to me!" he turns his head away from me. "Who with?"
"Frankie, don-"
"Who fucking with!" I scream at him. Not really wanting to know.
"Lindsey!" He yells back, and I let out a sob, covering my mouth. I get off the bed and pull my shirt back over my head, and just look at him through my tear filled eyes.
"Why? Am I not good enough for you anymore?" he doesn't even look sorry anymore as he also gets off the bed pulling on his clothes.
"Do you wanna know what it is? Because yes, your not good enough for me anymore Frank" He walks out the room and I trial behind wanting to hear more, but feeling like he's repeatedly stabbed me already. "I don't want to settle down yet! I'm only 27!"
"I thought you loved me?" I whisper, not taking my eyes off him.
"Why are you being so pathetic about this? Why can't you be more like her? Tough, beautiful, just amazing…"he trails off, before looking back at me, eyes almost disgusted with what they're seeing "But instead your, your Frank, my baby brothers best friend." He said with a sneer.
"You're a fucking dick head! If I was that bad why have you been with me six fucking years!" I couldn't even see anymore through my tears, as they streamed down my face.
"I didn't think we'd be together this long!" That hurt. "You know what? I'm going. I can't be bothered to deal with this shit!" He shoves passed me going to grab his coat.
"Don't leave me" I plead, I know how pathetic I sound.
"I don't want this anymore Frank." He says disinterested, and makes his way to the door. I try and block his exit, pleading with him once more not to leave. "Get the fuck out my way!" He demanded, his tone the angriest I've ever heard it.
"Please! Don't leave me! I love you so much!" I cry, and he grabs my arms forcefully yanking me away from the door.
Opening it, he turns and looks me in the eyes, "But I don't love you".
He slammed the door, and I listen to his footsteps get further away. Knowing this would be the last time I would see him.
I feel myself becoming sleepy, but I don't try and fight as eyes threaten to slip shut. I always saw slitting your wrist as the more romantic way the die. I had two long vertical slits on each of the undersides of my arms. Remembering what the jocks used to say to me at school, I chuckle "Go down the road, not across the street, you emo fag!" Feeling darkness overcome me, I look down at the upside of my right arm. Reading what I've craved in my skin.
-G+F Forever and Always-
