A/N So I was rooting through my desk and I happened upon my old Fanfiction notebook. I skimmed through it, and most of the stuff was either crap or not finished but this caught my eye so I decided to post it. I have no idea when I wrote this, so be warned. It takes place after Magnus heals Alec in CoB, and they just start meeting up. It's got some angry!confused!Alec and a soothing!Magnus. I thought it was pretty good for how short it is... So try it out, and please leave a review to tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: Christmas has come and gone and Cassandra Clare STILL hasn't given me the rights to The Mortal Instruments. Damn.
"So Alexander," Magnus' cat eyes peered inquisitively at him over the paper rim of his coffee cup. "What's on your mind?"
"I'm still not quite sure why I'm here." Alec mumbled as he nervously toyed with the hem of his ratty brown sweater. He refused to look at Magnus, instead he held his gaze on his untouched cup of black coffee sitting on the side table. He didn't want to drink it if Magnus hadn't paid for it.
"Don't be silly!" Magnus exclaimed. He tried to slide down the sofa to be closer to Alec but Alec just inched backwards so he was further pressed against the stiff leather armrest. Magnus pouted. "Come on shadowhunter, I don't bite." He seemed to consider that statement for a moment before adding "Unless you want me to." He winked ridiculously and Alec blushed profusely.
"I'm n-not like th-that." He stuttered out, even though he knew that the lie was useless. Magnus tutted in disappointment.
"Alexander. I thought we said we weren't going to lie to each other anymore. Remember? No lies." Alec sighed.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled shyly, feeling trapped. That was always how Alec felt around Magnus. Like a caged animal under examination. Magnus' watchful slit-pupils didn't do anything to lessen that feeling either. They sat there for a few moments longer, enveloped in an awkward silence. Alec still hadn't looked at Magnus since he had entered the apartment. He simply continued to fidget absentmindedly while Magnus stared at him and sipped at his cup of cappuccino.
"What are we doing?" Magnus burst out suddenly. He abruptly rose from where he was seated on the couch, and the force from the sudden movement caused the coffee to spill out over the rim of the cup. Magnus huffed in annoyance and snapped his fingers. The mess disappeared like it had never even been there in the first place.
"I'm sorry?" Alec replied with a question. He was taken aback. He certainly hadn't expected an outburst like that, not from calm, cool, and collected Magnus. Magnus was always the more level-headed of the two, if that even made any sense.
"Oh Alexander," Magnus cooed instantly, apologetically. He moved to sit right pressed up against Alec on the couch. Alec stiffened at the contact but Magnus ignored it. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I just, you confuse me. You insist on coming over and yet as soon as you arrive you clam up and refuse to talk to me. What are you expecting to get out of this, Alexander?"
"Magnus, don't." Alec said shakily as he tried to shrug Magnus off of him. His heart wasn't really in it though, and it didn't sound like much of a command. Magnus wove his fingers into Alec's inky black hair to get him to look at him. Alec's head turned to the side and nervous, bottle-glass blue met concerned green flecked with gold.
"So you're saying that you don't want anything from this?" Magnus asked. He sounded hurt, dejected, and disappointed. Alec didn't notice. He got up from the couch and shoved Magnus away from him.
"I don't know what I want!" He half yelled. "Not all of us can be so damn confident like you are!"
"Alexander, I never…"
"I'm sorry." Alec whispered, returning to his usual nervous and monotone voice, his previous anger subsiding. "I just, I don't know."
"What don't you know?" Magnus asked gently. Alec didn't respond. Magnus almost moved to wrap the younger boy into his arms, but he saw how tense Alec's shoulders were and decided that it would be better to not to.
"I don't know why I'm here." Alec muttered brokenly. He sounded like a record player in dire need of fixing.
"We've been over that." Magnus soothed patiently.
"No, I mean I don't know why I'm here!" Alec yelled. He turned to face Magnus and he realized that Alec was actually crying.
"Oh Alexander…" Magnus sighed, but it fell on deaf ears as Alec continued to yell.
"I shouldn't be here! I'm not supposed to be here, to want to be here! But you! You with your stupid party, and your stupid healing powers and how are you so goddamn attractive?" Alec cringed once the words were out of his mouth, and so did Magnus. That was certainly a surprise.
"I shouldn't like you," Alec continued, except this time his voice was barely a whisper. "You're a guy, and a warlock. A three-hundred year old warlock (1). Why Magnus, why?"
"Alexander darling, don-" Magnus started, but he couldn't finish his sentence.
"SHUT UP!" Alec cut him off. "I'M NOT YOUR DARLING! I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT! I'M NOT, I'M NOT GAY! I'm not, I'm not gay…" He was full out sobbing now and even though Magnus knew Alec wouldn't like it, he got off of the couch and wrapped his long, slender arms around Alec's waist. He stood there behind him with Alec's back pressed into his chest and his chin rested peacefully on Alec's shoulder.
"Shh…" He soothed. Magnus could feel the vibrations coming from Alec's chest, caused by the sobbing, running through his own chest and arms. He could feel Alec breathe, feel him talk. "Calm down."
"I shouldn't feel like this." Alec insisted.
"But you do, and there's nothing wrong with that." Magnus reassured.
"We shouldn't work. We're both guys, and you're a warlock Magnus. I'm a shadowhunter; I don't think I'm allowed to date warlocks. Let alone male warlocks."
"No one ever said that I like to follow rules." Magnus muttered sarcastically.
"Clearly." Alec bantered back.
"What?" Magnus asked.
"Well, the coffee you are currently drinking was stolen, and I'm sure there are plenty of rules against that."
"Again with the coffee, Alexander?" Magnus joked before his expression went serious once again. "We could keep it a secret." He suggested.
"A secret?" Alec's watery blue eyes shimmered not only from the tears, but now with a light of hope.
"A secret." Magnus replied. "No one has to know."
"I'd like that." Alec said honestly.
"Really?" Magnus smiled.
"Really."
1. This is when Alec thinks Magnus is only three hundred, I know he's 820 something, so please don't go pointing that out.
A/N So how was it? Let me know what you think! Bye!
