Like Sands in the Hour Glass...... It's another fan fiction by myself! Tah, Dah! I bet you're so thrilled. I would like to report that reviews are good for the ego (sometimes) but e-mail is the true source of my egotistical powers!! What to write me? I love/hate your story.. You could make millions/ not even a lima bean off of your masterpieces/sh*t passed off as stories..... That sorta thing. And be critical. Ok, so I may cry easily, but how many times does a fan fic author ask you to be brutal? And they won't complain about it? Just BE HONEST!!! No candy coating! Ok? Ok. And, now my funny folks, is the disclaimer. All the X-Men belong to those wonderful geniuses at Marvel. I am making no profit off of this, do not intend to either, and this isn't meant as an infringement to Marvel upon their rights of those characters. (Did you understand a single word of that?) Fury's mine. Read my other stories with her. (Free advertisement for myself :D)

WARNING: reading this story may result in loss of brain cells and the author is not responsible for the reader becoming ultimately dumber from reading it. (Not that you're dumb to begin with....)





Like sands in the hourglass, so are the days of our lives

Alright, before someone has a hernia, that phrase belongs to the soap opera days of our lives. And no, I'm not making money off of that either!

In the rec room, Fury and Bobby were sitting watching TV. Hating each other, they were naturally sitting on opposite ends of the hunter green pleather couch. Bobby had the remote.

"C'mon Bobby," whined Fury, "I am NOT going to watch the Power Rangers!"

"If you're going to watch this TV you are."

"But they're so.. So..." she was grasping for a word to describe them. "CHEESY!"

Bobby's eyes remained glued to the TV. "There are plenty of other TV's in this house so leave me alone with my beautiful goddess, Amy Jo Johnson." he hugged the remote to his chest and batted his eyes.

"Ugh. You are queer. As much as I hate Power Ranger's, I'm gonna save that poor girl from having your eyes molest her through the tv! Give me the remote!"

"No! And this show is for my viewing pleasure so BACK OFF!"

"Give me it!"

"NO!" he held it out from his body, over the end of the couch, eyes still firmly glued to the TV.

"You've asked for it!"

"Fury, no one refers to sex as 'it' anymore."


Beast stopped dead in his tracks outside the rec room door, just in time to hear that last phrase of Bobby's, and his clip board clattered to the floor in his surprise. "Oh, my stars and garters!" he ran off as quickly as possible.


"Nasty little pervert...." she lunged for his throat and missed, and landed onto his right arm which had the remote.

"OW! What do you weigh? Like 500 pounds?"

Ororo paused outside stooping to pick up Beast's clip board.

"It wasn't supposed to feel good." she reached for the remote but he held it out of her reach. "Give it to me now, Bobby!"



BY THE GODDESS! She ran off almost as quickly as Beast, abandoning clip board.


"Now who's the pervert? Your hands are all over me! I think I should tell a certain someone about your sexually related aggressiveness towards me...." he tried to shove her away.

"Got it!" her hand clasped around the small black remote. She held it above her head like a hard earned trophy.

"Oh no you don't!" he pushed her to the other end of the couch and she flipped over the arm rest backwards. He snatched the remote from the cushion and peered over the side.

"Uh, Fury?" He peered over the couch at her oddly twisted body. Her eyes popped open and she smacked him across the face and grabbed the controller.

"You're so gullible!" she danced around the room victoriously with the remote control in hand. Just then she slipped on a puddle of ice. "DAMNIT!" She roared. "My tailbone.." She stopped. "Wait, there's something poking me." She climbed off the floor.

"Nice going, you moron!! You broke the remote!" It's poor remains lay strewn across the ice.

"You're the one that landed on it!"

She stood up proudly. "If it weren't for you and your childish immaturity, I wouldn't have broken it!"

"Oh yeah? Well... bite me!"

"Gladly!" she lunged for him again but he ran out of the room screaming like a lunatic. But as soon as he stepped out the door, the scream changed into a strangled yelp followed by a loud thump that caused the floor to shake. Everyone rushed out to the hall to see what had happened.

"What'd you do?" asked a bewildered Beast, staring down at the unconscious Iceman.

"What do you mean, 'what did I do?' We were fighting over the remote and he ran outside and I heard a thump. It's not my fault if the twip can't walk."

"Uh, Hank? I think here's yer problem." Wolverine pointed over to the wall where the clip board was lying. "Popsicle musta slipped on it."

"He's beginnin' to wake up!" said Rogue.

Bobby's eyes were slowly opening. He stared at all the faces above him and said the overly cliched, "Where am I?"

"Um Bobby, do you remember what happened?" asked Hank.

"I remember Fury pouncing on top of me, saying some very vulgar, sexual things. I remember they were vulgar because she said.."

"Please skip that part." said an impatient Beast.

"Alright. Next I was running away from her to protect myself. She's very strong when she has her heart set on something, you know."

We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to remind you to e-mail the author. You may now return to this episode on trash TV.

"He's lying!!!" she yelped.

"Fury, hush." commanded Jean.

"Why am I on the floor?"

"You slipped on a clip board, ass hole!" grumbled Fury, her arms crossed as she leaned on the wall.

"Mind the language child." chastised Storm.

"But he's lying! That's not how it went! We were fighting over the remote because he wanted to watch Power Rangers, being the screwed up shit he is- sorry, 'Ro- and then we started fighting for it and it broke. He said 'Bite Me!' and I said 'gladly' and he ran off screaming until he tripped on this and passed out. You can read my mind! Find out for your self." Jean scanned her mind.

"I'd like to speak with Fury alone for a moment, please." they stepped into the rec room and Jean shut the door. The rest of the X-Men pressed their ears on the outside of the door, trying to hear. "Fury, I'm disappointed in you."

"Excuse me? He's the one lying."

"Why do you even continue? I know that you like Bobby but throwing yourself at him is not the way to..."

"WHAT?!" she screeched.

"Everything Bobby said rang out to be true. Except for one major detail. He accepted your advances and you're now pregnant."

"OH MY GOD! NO! NO! NO! Hey, wait a second, even if it did happen, it'd be to early to detect that stuff!!"

"The subconcious knows it from the beginning. Now, I know how this is traumatic because you're young but...."

"You HAVE to be wrong. PLEASE be wrong! This can't happen. Was I drunk? Stoned? Dear God, why would even do that if I was?"

"I'm afraid it's true."

"NO!(don't worry, the no's will stop soon) This can't be happening." she edged towards an open window in the room.

"What are you doing? Fury!" Jean leapt and grabbed Fury before she could jump out of the window. She held her by the wrists and shook her. "What do you think you're doing? Fury? Fury...... Fury..."

Fury opened her eyes. "AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!" Bobby stood above her. She scrambled to her feet and threw him against the wall. "Get away from me you testosterone driven freak!" she screamed and ran down the hall and locked herself in her room.

Beast looked shocked. "Is she alright?"

"You know, Beast, if a clip board can take her out for a few minutes, anything could be going through that so called mind of hers. Want something to eat? I've got a big hankering for a double fudge chocolate chip pickle split..."

Beast's left eyebrow raised. "Pickle?"

"You've never had it? It's the best!" they turned and walked down the hall towards the kitchen.

THE END