I have already packed up a bag of clothes and chocolate bars and shit like that. I am REALLY gonna do it this time. Not "Really gonna do it" like I had thought the last time, REALLY GONNA DO IT. I AM going to run away. I have to if I'm gonna beat that Near bastard.
I look Matt sleeping. I can't say goodbye to him like I had before because this is what had happened the first time:
*flashback*
It was late, about 11:00 pm and some people were sleeping but Matt was still playing his DS.
"Matt...I gotta tell you...that I'm running away..."
"What? No you can't!" He looked up from his game.
"Goodbye Matt." I turned to leave.
Matt jumped up from the bed he was sitting on without even bothering to pause his game.
"Noooooooo!" he ran up and half hugged half wrestled me, making me drop my bag and preventing me from running out the door.
"Mello please don't leave...!"
"Matt! fucking get off me!"
"NO!" He wrapped his arms around me.
"Get off...!" I hissed
"I WILL NOT LET YOU LEAVE!"
"Geez be quiet or your gonna wake up the whole fucking orphanage!"
"...please...don't go" he pouted.
"Mail...Jeeves" I said in a deathly low whisper. "Get off me now, before I have to fight you." I slid out of his grasp and turned around to face him.
The inside of his goggles were splattered with tears. He took the off to wipe out the lenses with his sleeve while begging "please don't leave me...you can't go...don't leave, Mello!"
I sighed in defeat. I knew if I tried to run now he would probably run down the hall and scream "ROGER, ROGER MELLO IS RUNNING AWAY! HE'S TRYING TO LEAVE THE ORPHANAGE! HELP!, Or something stupid like that. Ok fine, I probably wouldn't have run away even if he would have kept quiet. Seeing him begging and looking so sad kind of stabbed at my heart. Ugh...I also wasn't going to tell him that I kind of loved him, because he was very obviously in love with me and if I told him, than it would be impossible for me to leave.
"Ok...I won't run away."
Matt hugged me. Very tightly. And said "good because I don't ever want you to leave. I'm gonna have to sleep with you tonight to make sure you don't run off when I'm asleep."
"Oh come on Matt."
"If you don't im'a go tell Roger you tried to take off."
"I hate you Matt."
*End of flashback*
So now here I am trying not to think about how Matt will feel when he wakes up and I'm not there. I also try not to think about what I will feel like when I have to live without him. Wherever I run off to.
I get a pice of paper and a pen and decide to at least write a short note. Ugh my eyes are burning. No...NO. I am NOT going to start crying. I am Mello. I do not cry. Shit. Tears have stained the fucking paper. I'd better get rid of it. I wouldn't want Matt to know. It is really hard to quietly crumple paper. Just to let you know. Ok here is my goodbye note. Actually it's more like a "badbye" note. But whatever. Erm...oh dammit.
Oh. My. God. Freaking stop crying. Matt is only your roommate. And your best friend. And your only friend. And your would-be-if-you-weren't-an-idiot-running-away-boyfriend.
Well heres the note. I didn't say that I love him.
Matt, I have run away. I'm not coming back. Don't do anything stupid.
-M
I couldn't bear to sign my whole name either.
Ok I have to get out of here before I knock something over in the dark. *thinks* goodbye Matt I will probably never see you again. Have fun with your not-Mello-involved life. See you later. In a bit. Never again. Ok NOW BYE!
...and I'm gone...
