A/N Hey guys, this is my first real attempt to write serious SuFin, so I'm not sure if I'm getting how they speak right... It might be a bit OOC, but I hope you like it anyway~ ENJOY!
I DON'T OWN HETALIA.
Chapter 1
~Back~
I don't really get why I said no to him in the first place. It could be because we were five, and it didn't seem like a good idea, it didn't make any sense for me, I didn't know what "marriage" was. It could also be because he was scary, staring at me like he was about to kill me, making my knees go all jelly and tears fall down my cheeks. But… could it also be because I was scared? Scared to whatever he was asking, I would get stuck with him forever. Mom had mentioned "marriage" once, laughing she said that was how she got stuck with dad for the rest of her life. I didn't know if I wanted that, because let's be honest, he scared the shit out of me. I couldn't see him in the corner of my eye without bursting into tears.
Later I realized it wasn't fair, he wasn't really that scary, just a bit misunderstood. A kid didn't understand what was right or wrong, scary or okay. He didn't know how scary such a serious face could be.
I did say no to him, to what I later understood was his proposal, and ran away. Two days later he moved. The house he lived in wasn't sold, it just stood there, windows dark and the door never opened. I walked pass there many times, stopping to stare at the dark wood, the flaking red paint on the falls, and the white on the window frame almost gone. I stared at the yard, the perfect cut grass, which had grown quite a few inches, the hedge that were supposed to be well cut and trimmed, but now was overgrown and uncontrolled. He and his parents all had green fingers, they treated the garden with the best of care and the whole neighborhood was amazed with how good it always looked. So amazed, you could often see his dad on his knees clearing peoples flowerbeds. I could remember walking past the house when they still lived there, his mother planting flowers and himself helping his dad cutting the hedge or the trees. The few times I had slowed down when they were in the garden, he had locked eyes with me. He always looked so scary, so usually I just got teary eyed and ran away. But I wasn't as scared as I used to be whenever I saw him, because he always looked so… happy in the garden, so peaceful and at home it was almost unbelievable how scary he usually looked. Nowadays, almost ten years later when I happened to be home, I often walked past the house, stopping shamelessly, staring. I let my gaze wander over the old house, the overgrown yard, and wondered; where was he now? What was he doing? Did he… ever think of me? Like I now thought of him? Think why I said no that day? And think about if we were ever going to meet again.
I thought about that. Very often nowadays. And it couldn't be stopped until I found some kind of answer.
Xxx(~O~o~O~)xxX
I sat on the edge of my bed in the small dorm room, fiddling with my gun, taking out and putting back the ammunition. My hands worked without thought, smooth movements handling the gun with the biggest of care, spinning it around my fingers, throwing it up the air, still spinning and catching the handle again, shoving it back in the holster.
He was running late. If it was something I hated, it was people being late. Today was the day my new roommate would get here. The other couldn't take the pressure from everything, and simply dropped out. There were many who did that, who couldn't take the early morning running, the small amount of food and the strictest teachers in the world.
Lumikukka Military School in the deepest of Finland was famous all over the world for being the toughest, hardest and most privileged school in the world. It wasn't an all boys' school, but there was only one girl tough enough to attend and stand the training as good as the boys. There had been five girls there during the years I had spent at this school, but only she remained strong. The other's were kicked out or dropped out. She never even considered it. She lived alone in one of the biggest rooms in the Campus, right besides the Head Masters' room; she made a fuss about it that no one was late to know about. She didn't believe she got the same conditions as everybody else if she stayed in a luxury room in the Head Masters' wing, but she got silenced when the Head Master asked if she wanted to live together with fifty sexually frustrated teenage males, drooling after her wherever she went. Pouting, she agreed in living in the luxury room, spending as little time as possible in there.
I sighed and fell back on the bed, staring up on my ceiling. I pouted; I wanted to go to sleep. I needed to go to sleep to be up and going at five when the running started, I had been up studying once, only for half an hour later than usual, and I had been dead the morning after. Like a zombie, so apparently I needed my sleep. I hadn't reached the time of the proper time to go to bed before yet, but it was slowly getting closer. It was Friday, too, so I was done with all the homework for this week, and the next too, I had read all of the books my mother sent with me twice, and I was really bored. I thought the damned Head Master could just get here with the new kid already. It couldn't be so hard to just get the kid, lead him here and drop him off with me, could it? It was really annoying too, as mentioned earlier; I really hated people who were late. When I was younger, before this school, I was always late. Always, no matter how close it was to my home I was quite the time optimist, I still am, but now I make sure I arrive in time. As said, I was always late, but I really hated when other where late. It wasn't okay, not in any way. I've always been impatient, wanting to go the fast way through life, walk along the high way, not caring what I left behind… just running ahead. Leaving it all. Except him. I couldn't stop it I knew, so I just let the thoughts flood me, all the memories, the small details I never really thought about and all the small words. I just let it all hit me like a tidal wave, swiping me off my feet, and making me close my eyes, letting the scenes play on the back of my eyelids. His face, the serious kids face, round and squishy, soft, not at all matching his serious face or the piercing green-blue eyes. I couldn't forget. I had tried, but I couldn't. I couldn't think of how many times I pulled the plain light grey cover over me to block out the thought, telling myself it was over now, I shouldn't remember. I had forgotten his name, but everything else was so clear inside my head. I couldn't forget. I didn't want to. Not really.
"Väinämöinen!" The door slammed open, and I was immediately on my feet, standing tall, greeting the Head Master. "I hope you didn't do anything shameful, because here we are; your new roommate."
It wasn't often the Head Master visited, and when he did, we all made sure he was greeted with the highest of respect, meaning no peeking, and no slacking. The only persons who got to see the Head Master was the newest subtends, and the ones getting kicked out. Other than that, no one knew how the most powerful man of the school looked.
"Get used to him; he'll be staying for a while." He always said that, the last lasted a week. "I'll be going, take care." I heard the sound of a hand on a shoulder and then the door being slammed open again. "Head Master, coming through! I don't want to kick out more people today!"
With that he marched off, I was pretty sure the Head Master was a man, and dared to open my eyes. Just to wanting them shut again.
The teen standing in front of me looked just like the boy who proposed to me so many years ago, the boy whom I could not forget.
He was taller now, at least a decimeter taller than me, with short ash blond hair. His facial features was sharper, the still piercing green-blue eyes hid behind a pair of glasses and as always, looking really scary. The fact that he was taller than me didn't make it better with him staring down on me, his body was slim, probably well-toned under the thick, blue coat he wore. He seemed strong, not caring about the heavy looking bag thrown over his shoulder at all, all of his attention spent on me.
I swallowed hard, trying to force a smile. It didn't work, but he didn't seem to care. I really wanted to break every rule of being a man in the Head Master's really thick book, which we got to see on our first day here and memorize down to the last dot, turn back to my bed and hide under my covers, crying my eyes out. But I stood tall, shaking a bit, laughing nervously.
"H-Hi!" And that didn't sound girly at all. "I'm Tino Väinämöinen, apparently your roommate. Has they told you about the school yet? We're getting up from bed in time to go running at five every morning, so we should go to sleep about now. That's your bed, mine is… the messy one. Anyway, you got any sheets? They probably didn't have time to hand you yours considering what time it is now, but you could borrow some of mine, I'll just go get them!"
… Yeah. I continued talking about absolutely nothing as I opened my locker and rummaged through it after some clean bed sheets. I knew I had cleaned some last week, but not where I put them. I was really embarrassed about my babbling, but that was what I did when I was nervous. It wasn't often I was nervous here, at school, but at home when my mom either had parents or relatives over, I often got nervous and started talking extreme nonsense. It could be about anything, the weather, the last movie I saw, what caliber the best rifled barrel had, anything! As long as it wasn't silent, I was kind of confident in my surroundings. At school it was supposed to be quiet when we were, and when we weren't, it was often the sound of heavy breathing and panting, the sounds of guns or just pointless chatting that always was heard somewhere. The men here were family, and everyone was confident around family.
"Oh! I didn't ask for your name," I laughed hesitantly again, handing him the sheets I found in the far back of my wardrobe, then offering my hand. "Tino Väinämöinen. I'm Finnish."
"B'rwald." He put the sheets on my bed and took my hand in a firm grip, shaking it. "Sw'dish."
"H-Hello Berwald! Nice meeting you!" I smiled, and squealed inside, my positive inner self fist pumping; I now knew his name! My negative side sat in a corning, biting his nails; would the thoughts ever disappear now that I could bind them to a name? "W-We should probably go to sleep! It's getting late and we're rising early! Good night!"
Quickly I slipped into my bed, leaving it for him to turn off the lights and pulled the covers over my head, hiding the blush. I wasn't getting rid of the thoughts in the nearest future that's for sure. With him only meters away from me, I bet they'd only get worse.
And damn I was right.
A/N There~ First chapter, I hope you liked it! Please review and tell me what you think, it helps a lot and really makes me happy c: Thanks for reading first chapter~
