A/N: This sort of just materialised while I was trying to sleep last night, haha.

Sarah x


Jac stroked Freya's feet gently as she privately revelled in the child's innocence. She often envied children of this age; they knew nothing of anguish because they did not understand what went on around them. She could recall being twelve years old and finding herself alone, with no-one to hold on to and no-one to love her. Her mother never was that great of a parent anyway, but it still hurt when she turned her back on her daughter. That pain was only made ten times worse when she turned up looking for one of her daughter's kidneys.

Jac turned when she heard footsteps behind her; if it was Sahira or Greg, she would never live this down. Luckily for her, it wasn't either of her registrars. It was the ever stoic and sarcastic Henrik Hanssen. He sat down in the chair in the corner without a word. He simply watched as Jac pretended he wasn't there and allowed herself to discard her total professional distance and become just a little attached to the baby whose life she had saved.

"Shouldn't you have gone home by now, Ms Naylor?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence between them. She turned her head to look at his expression and was slightly surprised by what she discovered. He did not wear his most common mask of detachment and arrogance. Instead, he was visibly relieved and curious, not to mention the slight softness in his eyes when they fell upon the child. It was unusual for him to be so relaxed in another's presence when they both knew it was not purely professional.

"I was just about at the door when I turned back," she explained. He looked at her with an intuitive expression. He was interested to know how she thought about this type of thing.

"May I ask why you came back?" he said. "You could have simply gone home and left work at the workplace, as you normally do." She could not answer. She could only continue comforting the little girl with her gentle fingers. She heard Hanssen stand up and move so that he was only just behind her. Close enough to touch her. Close enough to hurt her. "She is getting to you, isn't she?" he whispered.

She simply nodded her head and said nothing. She could find nothing really worth saying. Yes, the baby had finally got under her skin. Yes, she felt some empathy for a child whose mother abandoned her; she had been there after all. The only difference was that she had been old enough to understand her mother did not want her. That was not the case here, though, as Freya's mother loved her but believed herself incapable of taking proper care of the child.

"Why do you have a lack of maternal instinct that has resulted in an aversion to children?" he enquired. It was something clearly noticeable to him. She seemed to dislike children. She appeared uncomfortable in their presence and she could not relate to them at all. It was like she had forgotten what it was like to be a child.

"I never was a kid, really," she replied honestly. For some strange reason she could not put her finger on, she found it quite easy to answer Hanssen's direct yet concerned questions. "I take it Michael's kept his mouth shut, then, since you don't appear to know anything about me?" she added. This was not something she enjoyed talking about, and she only did so when the decision was forced.

"It is not in my nature to pry," he said with a slight smile. "Michael Spence has held his silence."

"My mother abandoned me when I was twelve years old. Then she was admitted here last April with kidney damage. She conned me into donating a kidney to her, and taking care of her. She ran off and I tried to follow her but ripped my stitches. Michael ended up coming with me to find her. Turned out she was taking of with my granddad and my half-sister that I had no idea even existed," she explained bitterly. "I spent a lot of my childhood trying to be strong, knowing my mum didn't want me. Then I was put in foster care. It's not the same as having proper parents."

Hanssen looked at her to continue; she had not really answered his question. "I guess I can't understand children because I was never one myself. And I envy the ones with loving parents and all the rest of it. It makes me wonder whether, if I'd had a better mother, I'd be a little nicer."

"You are who you are because you're childhood was difficult. I take it that that is also the reason why you don't trust people, and why you push us all away with your arrogance and cutting remarks. Although, I might be your match in that particular game," he added with a smirk. He was well aware that he was sarcastic and cold and aloof. The traits had the same function for him as they did for Jac. They were his defence. If nobody liked him, nobody would get near enough to bring him pain.

He mimicked Jac's movement with his fingers on Freya's arm. He, unlike Jac, felt a strange affinity with children. He never really was a child, either, as he had been forced to grow up too fast and too early. Rather than do what Jac did with children, though, he instead found himself enjoying their company. It was like seeing what he missed and being glad that these children were not missing what he did. It all boiled down to the same issue of growing up so quickly and, though they dealt with it in different ways, it was not an easy thing to come to terms with, even in adulthood. It left a lasting impression on a personality.

He looked at Jac briefly and saw the pain of the memories haunt her eyes. He gently placed a hand on her small shoulder. Her head turned to look at his unusually caring hand in surprise and then looked up at his face. "Maybe I was wrong about you," she admitted softly. "Maybe, beneath the cynicism and the hardness you really are a good person," she allowed with a tiny smile.

Hanssen let out a soft chuckle. "Everyone seems to automatically label me as the Grim Reaper," he joked. He continued to let Freya play with his finger. It reminded him of how much he actually loved children. For all their innocence and apparent naivety, they always seemed to know when they were being lied to. "Well, I'm glad you've found a little sympathy for Baby Freya," he said. He clapped her softly on the shoulder and turned to the door with a slight smirk. She looked round to watch him leave and turned back to the child. "And Jac," she heard him say at the door. He smiled and said, "Everybody cries."

That did it for her. The tears ran down her face and Hanssen smiled just a tiny bit. He had made her show emotion, and that was what she seemed to need more than anything. "And everyone feels pain," she replied with a watery smile. "Even you."

He walked away with a nod, but she swore she heard him answer, "Even me."


Hope it was alright!

Please review!

Sarah x