Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, if I did Jenny would be alive, arguing with the SecNav and with Gibbs. That isn't happening so I don't own NCIS, although if anyone wants to give me it for Christmas I'd be happy to have it.

Okay, sorry the disclaimer is so long I'm in a random mood. This is kinda serious angst, I dunno where it came from. I was helping my friend write last night and sent this to her over bbm and she replied by going : 'Upload upload, upload '. So you have this thanks to her. Hope you enjoy….

Once upon a time, when she'd look in the mirror Jenny would smile at what she saw: the genuine happiness that graced her face, the subtle yet all so obvious blush on her cheeks. Most of all, what would make her smile would be the definite look of love in her eyes. That was what the big difference was between then, seven years ago, and now.

These days when she looked in the mirror, Jenny would just look. Not smile, not like, just look. Because no longer was there a happy, loved woman staring back at her. Staring back at her these days was still a reasonably young woman whom had aged well. Yet now she wasn't smiling genuinely, but fakely. Not loved, but scared of. Not blushing, but pale with bags under her eyes.

Once upon a time make-up was not essential, but chosen. Not it was a daily essential to make her look just semi-alive. The truth was: Jenny didn't like who she was anymore, what she'd turned into.

This job, being director, it was all she'd planned on being ever since that day when she'd arrived home to find her father's body in his study. Now she was here though, she didn't like what she'd turned into. The worst thing was though, Jenny didn't know how to change, and that's what worried her…

Hope you enjoyed…

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