AN: Ok, I don't take full credit for this! In fact I blame Lynn and Kiki Lahote for this. You girls are a bag of fun and sexual napalm! *wink-wink* I don't own Twilight, or Paul :-( or the word "SMEX." Lynn is the owner of that word! LOL
Rating: MA
Paring: Paul/Rachel
If your interested I am also a member of JBNP, My ID on there is Jacob's Sweetheart86 and this story will be posted there too...once it's beta'd.
FYI: This is not beta and I apologize in advance for any errors that distract you from reading it. Paul just couldn't wait to get this out there LOL *wink-wink*
Did you just say "smex?" What the heck is that Paul?
Girl here we are, in this big old empty room
Staring at ya, who's gonna make the first move
Been doing our thing for a minute
And now when our hearts are in it
The only place to go, is all the way (ah, hmm)
[Break:]
Is that alrgiht (alright)
Is that okay (okay)
You don't need to be nervous (no baby)
Cause I, got, you, all, night
Don't you worry bout a thing babe, just
[Chorus:]
just Go with it, go with it, go with it (I will go real)
slow with it, slow with it
It's our first time
Go with it, go with it, go with it (I will go real)
slow with it, slow with it
It's my first time on you, baby
And I wanna make it right for you
(it's our first time)
-Bruno Mars, "Our First Time"
"Don't laugh at me! Embry, this shit is not funny! I am being serious right now. I remember reading in biology class that it's completely natural to masturbate because your body needs to release; and that applies to sex too, right? I think if she makes me wait any longer, I am going to start having wet dreams! Fuck, Embry stop laughing at me!"
Embry was as red as a tomato. I was so focused on telling him my tale of woe that I didn't even notice him fall down on the beach. He thought it was hilarious. Honestly, I would be laughing too if this was happening to anybody but me. Apparently, the tribal gods have a flare for irony. Who would have thought that I, Paul Lahote would not be getting any loving?
"Okay, your right man it's not funny. This is fucking hilarious!"
If looks could kill Embry would be dead a hundred times over. He was lying in the sand rolling over with laughter just like the dog he was. He was walking a thin line between living and being dead. Maybe, he wants to die because with all the sexual frustration that I have built up. I could probably throw him all the way to James Island from here.
"Give it a rest Embry! Unless you really want to be castrated, I would watch what you say!"
I arched my eyebrows at him and cracked my neck like I am preparing for battle. That did it Embry shot up out of the sand like it was on fire. He lowered his hands over his "family jewels" in an effort of protection and surrender.
"Alright, jeez you don't have to make me a monk. I am sorry Paul. I just I don't understand what the problem is. Rachel agreed to go along with the imprint. She goes the extra step by wanting to be your girlfriend. Yet, she refuses to sleep with you? What is going on Paul, did the imprint make you forget how to use that slong of yours?"
Embry was a bastard, a mother fucking idiot! I growled at him before I let him have it!
"Don't forget, who taught you what to do with that little cock of yours! You'd still think it was for peeing only if it was not for my porno star memories!"
I gave him a satisfied smirk. Embry, just recently lost his virginity so he was in no position to tell me what or how to do anything to my woman. Seriously, the only reason he has a girlfriend is me!
"Paul, chill out! I am just messing with you. So, I know you have a plan, right? What are you going to do?"
Embry was serious now and back to himself. He was staring at me like I should have stated my response by now. However, in reality I felt like I tried everything. Well I had tried everything in order to get her screaming my name! I had to laugh because Rachel has been screaming my name. She was screaming at me for living the life I did previous to imprinting on her.
"Earth to Paul, brother what the hell is wrong with you? You look like shit. No offense, you still need to put an end to this."
When the hell did Jared get here? I am really falling off. This has been the longest six months of my life. I mean when she said things like, "let's take it slow" or "I just don't have sex right away." I never imagined that I'd have to wait long. Isn't the rule of thumb in a serious relationship is like ... month or three months tops?
"I know, Embry has already reminded me of how much of a loser I am. Jared, what am I going to do? You're the romance guru. You have Kim eating out of the palm of your hand. Let's face it. I am out of my realm on this one. Maybe she does not want me like that?"
This was a secret fear of mine. My secret fear was Rachel leaving me; or Rachel not feeling the imprint like I do. The worst thought that plagued my mind was of Rachel giving herself to someone else.
Jared looked at me and then Embry.
"Embry do you mind leaving Paul and me alone? No disrespect but I think this is a conversations we better have alone."
"No problem, I get it. This is an imprinting thing. I need to go call Janelle anyways. Paul, all jokes aside I hope this works out in your favorite man. I know you can do this!"
Embry smiled and then made a dash for the tree line. I looked at Jared. He looks like he had so many questions in his eyes.
"Jared, spit it out! What do you want to know? We've been friends for too long for me to keep secrets from you."
Jared nods his head and starts walking further down the beach before he starts asking questions.
"Why are you not with her in Hawaii? I thought Sam and Jacob agreed that you could take the time off and be with her."
"They did but Rachel thought it was too soon to meet her sister since we have just started dating officially. She also said she need sometime away from all this. I feel like that was just code for "I needed to be away from you." If she doesn't want the imprint why not order me to be her friend. Just release us both from all the pain and heartache of half stepping this relationship!"
Jared was letting me rant. He knew better than anyone that I needed to get it all out. He knew I had no one to go to. I had no one to comfort me or rely on during my youth. The tribe, the pack, and Rachel were all I had left in this world.
"Jared, at this point I rather be her friend then nothing at all! I mean it's not like I haven't lost people before."
"Paul, have you ever thought that maybe she's just as scared. She's lost someone close to her too. Mrs. Black has been dead for how long now? At least 10 years. That means Rachel and Rebecca had to be everything for Billy and Jake. Yet, they were still kids themselves. Rachel has had just as much pain as you. Just cause she has a brother, a father, and a sister doesn't mean she hasn't felt alone in the world Paul."
"I never thought about that."
Jarred like always was right. I can be selfish sometime and not take the time to see what was in front of my face. Rachel was just as damaged as I was. We were two peas in a pod; who were bonded by loss way before we were bonded by the imprint.
"She's scared of losing me. That I'll leave her like everyone else she has cared about in the past. Jarred, I've been acting like an idiot."
"No, not an idiot maybe a pompous, self centered, asshole; but not an idiot."
We both started laughing at that. So, now that I know what the real problem is what is the solution? How can I make her see that I could never leave her? Not unless she ordered me away. However, even that would not keep me from waiting in the wings.
"So what should I do?"
"Tell her the truth Paul! Bare your soul to her and she'll do the same to you. I know your not use to having to tell a girl more than your name, but she's not some girl. She is your woman Paul. She needs to know the real you. Not the sex god. All of that will come in time believe me."
Jared was telling the truth. I had no experience in getting to know a girl. I never got emotionally invested. Hell, I rarely fucked the same girl twice. So, how could I show her I was going to be there for her?
Jared was thinking. I watched him pace back and forth. His hands shot up in the air."
"I got it! You have a week before she comes back, right? I got a plan. Let's got back to my house we'll need the computer and that new iPhone of yours."
"Okay, what is up with that grin on your face?"
"Don't worry about it. By the time Rachel gets back she will be all yours."
Mine! I'll do anything for her to be mine. I had a strong feeling that whatever Jared has plan is going to be epic. I followed behind him shaking my head while thinking we should start calling him: "Jared the Relationship Whisperer."
Rachel's POV
I was lying in bed and my mind was not ready to relax at all. My mind, my body, my soul were all unable to relax these days. I knew exactly what the problem was. Paul. I was in love with him and that scared me to death.
What would I do if something was to happen to him? How would I raise kids without him? What if this imprinting thing wasn't a sure thing?
What if I didn't measure up to the girls he had been with before me? What if I couldn't perform like the way I did in his fantasies? The list of questions kept growing exponentially in my head.
I looked at the time. It was only 10'o clock at night here so it was about midnight in Forks. I should be a good girlfriend and at least call. Just as I was debating on what to say I got a text alert on my phone.
PL: Hw wz yr dy Honey Bunni?
RB: Cnt cmplain
PL: DY ms me? Cos I ms U.
RB: I do ms U. Im so cold hre w/o U.
PL: R U Solo?
RB: Y?
PL: Wn 2 sho u sumthin.
RB: Paul!
PL: Nuthin Nasty. Unl U beg me 4 it.
RB: Face time me in 5 mins.
PL: k
That was unexpected. We have sent text messages back and forth since I've been here visiting Becks and her family; but this seemed different. Usually, the conversation centers around how Hawaii is and what the twins are doing. I wonder why he was concerned about me. Why was he interested in my feelings? More importantly, why did I feel excited about him being more forth right with his feeling and taking the initiative?
I glanced down at what I was wearing. Not good. I had on ratty old cut off sweats and a t-shirt. Should I change? I never had before but if he was putting forth the effort perhaps I should do the same. Only problem was I didn't think I had anything remotely sexy or flirtatious. When had I stopped keeping sexy things?
I jumped off the bed and dashed down the Hall to Becks' room.
"Becks, are you still awake? I need a favor. Can I come in?"
I hesitated at her bedroom door. I hoped I hadn't waked up my niece and nephew. I could hear her stirring on the other side of the door.
"Come in, you didn't need to knock. You've been here a week now and more importantly you're my sister, and besides Sione is at work. What do you need? I thought you were calling it a night?"
"I was but Paul sent me a text. He wants to video chat using our iPhones, and I don't have anything sexy to wear. I was hoping you had something I could wear real quick I've only got four minutes left."
Rebecca's eyes lit up like I just told her she had won the lottery. She let out a squeal and pulled me into the room. Before I knew what hit me I was plopped in front of her vanity.
"I have just the thing matter of fact you can have it because I never got to wear it anyways."
Rebecca came out of her closet holding up the cutest Victoria's Secret Pink collection outfit. The top was grey crew neck light weight sweatshirt with the words: "Love Pink" across the front. The letters glittered and sparked in the light, but also reflected black, purple, and indigo. The bottom was girl style boxers. That was purple with a black heart design.
"Becks, are you sure? I mean you'll be back to your pre-baby weight in no time. Why don't you keep it."
"I want to give it to you Rachel. I haven't got to go shopping with you in years and you need it right now, more than me. What? Don't give me that look! You know what I am talking about Rachel."
I did know what she was talking about. Rebecca was trying to figure out why my relationship was moving so slow. She was wondering why as much as I say I love him. I have yet to be intimate with him; or talk about moving in together; or any of the things serious couples do.
I look at my sister. Even though, we are twins I see more of mom in her than I see in my face.
"Ok, we'll talk tomorrow I promise and maybe go shopping if Sione can watch the babies?"
"Sounds like a plan! Tell my future brother in law I said hello!"
I was about to rebut her last statement when she pulled me to my feet and ushered me out the door.
"Go give that poor boy a bone will you. I know he is probably dying a slow death and you only have three minutes to throw on some lip gloss or something."
I just nod my head and sprint back down the hall. I slam the door behind me and begin to change as quickly as possible. Once the outfit was on I put on some shimmer lotion so I would glow in the soft lights of the guest bedroom.
I went into the bathroom attached to the bedroom and swiped on my lemon ginger lip tint. I looked at my face and decided to let my hair down since Paul always preferred it that way. I looked at my phone and I had one minute left. Why did I feel so nervous? I've talked to him before on "face time" so what was the big deal.
"Beep...Beep...Beep"
I reach for my phone it's him requesting a chat I accept and move back to the bed. As the screen comes into focus I am shocked by what I see. Paul is sitting at his desk with candles lit and the song "My Love," by Sia is playing in the background. I don't know how much time passes as we study one another.
I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. He had on no shirt of course but his body wasn't what attracted me to him in this moment. Paul looked like a man for the first time, a man in love. He was a man that I could trust with my heart. He looked ready to tell me everything. He was open and ready to receive.
"I know we are miles apart but I thought we could have a long distance date if that's all right with you Honey Bunni?"
He was waiting for me to respond, but I felt like I couldn't speak. Am I imprinting again? Is that possible?
"That's fine Paul. So what's on your mind?"
"You. You're the only thing on my mind. Honestly, you're the only thing that matters to me. You are all I really have Rachel and I hope you know that. I hope you know that I am here for you know mater what. Even if you want to fight the imprint I'll still be there for you."
"I don't! I don't want to fight it Paul. I am sorry."
We were both starring at each other. I wish he was here with me. I should have let him come along. I was biting my lip, which caused Paul to lick his in response.
"Why are you apologizing Rachel? What did you ever do to me Honey Bunni?"
I looked down at my fingers. He was wrong. I had done things to him. I had pushed him away and blamed it on his promiscuous past. When in actuality it was me. I was insecure and afraid to let him in.
"Rachel, please look at me? What is it?"
"I feel horrible at how things have been going. How I've kept you at arms length. How I blamed me not letting you in my heart fully on your past. When in reality it's my past that haunts me."
I look into his eyes. I want to be lost in them. More importantly, I wanted him to be lost in me. I wanted to make love to him in the worst way.
"I've done wrong too, Rachel. So let's just start over. Take it from step one and see what happens. Okay?"
"I don't want to start over Paul. I need you. I need you right now. I am tried of waiting. I want to come home. I want to be with you."
With that I put my phone on its docking Station and pulled my sweatshirt over my head. I could hear Paul's deep intake of breath. He lifted an eyebrow up in response and then licked his lips. I could hear him roll his chair closer.
"Honey Bunni, what exactly are you doing? I thought we were having a date via video chat. Not smexing."
" Smexing? What the hell is smexing Paul?"
A look of confusion passed over his face. Then he reached down out of frame. I could hear rustling. Was he taking off his pants?
"Baby, smexing can be whatever you want it to be."
"What's smexing to you daddy?"
I wiggled my eyebrows at him as I started to pull my boxers down. Once they were off I was up on my knees on the bed. I blew a kiss at him, and then curled my finger at him in a "come hither" hand gesture.
"Do you like what you see? I can take off the bra and panties too. If you want to see all of me."
I heard Paul let out a noise that was a mixture of a groan and a growl.
"No, I want to do that. When you get back. I want to see and feel you while you're underneath me."
That must have been my turn to make a sound. I moaned softly. Then I started to crawl toward my phone on all fours.
"You still haven't told me what smexing is Paul? Is that code for sadomasochism or bondage or something? I think I can get into that. I can just see you here with me right now tying me down to this bed and having your way with me. I could be your little kitten and you could make me purr all you want."
"Wow, where is all this brave talk coming from? Why do you want to be a good kitten now and play with me?"
"Who said I was a good kitten?"
At that moment I reached up and squeezed my nipples hard while they were still encased in my black lace bra. Then I let my hands trail down my stomach till I got to the waistband of my matching black lace g-strings. I looked up at Paul then. He was literally on the edge of his seat panting.
"Smex, is that slutty, smutty, sex? Is that what you want from me Paul? Do you want me to be a sexy, smutty kitty for you? Let you tie me up, and spank me when I am bad? Make me take that long hard cock of yours in every hole I've got?"
"Rachel, if you don't stop I am going to run and swim all the way to Hawaii!"
I looked up at Paul and winked before I put my hands down my panties. I laid on my back now and lifted both legs in the air opening and closing them. Giving him brief glimpses of what I was doing to myself.
"Paul... Paul... Paul!"
I was chanting at a volume that could only be described as a whisper yell.
"Rachel look at me now! "
I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. He had a satisfied smirk on his face. He raised his hand up like he wished he could reach threw the screen and put his hand on me.
"When are you coming home? I want to plan something special for when you get back."
"I was supposed to stay another week but I don't think I can go that long. Will three days be long enough for you to plan your special evening?"
"Three days, I can get everything together by then."
We both started smiling at each other. He raised his eyebrows at me. I began to giggle at him. I felt so free.
"I don't even want to finish without you here Paul. I'll just wait till I can feel your hands on me."
"I like that. As long as you follow my instructions to the letter and do everything I say. Then it'll be worth the wait Rachel."
I nodded my head, before I could answer him.
"So, are we going to make love or make smex?"
He started to laugh and shook his finger at me.
"Honey Bunni, all I know how to do is have smex, but for you I might finally be able to make love."
A shiver rolls over my body. I looked at him and squirmed around the bed. Three days. I could make it three days right?
"Are you sure you don't want to swim to Hawaii?"
We both started laughing and continued to talk about are plans. We talked about the pain we had felt and the loss. We talked about all the smutty ways he'd make me scream his name.
"So what's you fantasy Paul?"
He pulled the phone close to his face. Licked his lips and smiled. He answered in a voice that should be outlawed in all fifty states.
"My smutty, smart, sexy, smexy fantasy is you!"
EN: Yeah, I know I am wicked for ending there but will you not stone me please? I am writing more as I type ... It's only going to be 3 or 4 parts so don't get too excited! Please review and let me know what you think... even if u hate it :-(
