a/n: Okay, this FF was quite rubbish. I was rushing it out (:
Dedicated to Beatrice, a.k.a. Ricey (: So, Rice, when are you gonna give a little smoochie woochie to your beloved?
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
My name is Lucy Weasley.
To most others, there's nothing special about me. I have Weasley-red hair and Weasley freckles and Weasley brown eyes. My father is Percy Weasley, my mother is Penelope Clearwater.
But there's a part of me no one knows about. I'm not just any other girl. Any other Weasley.
Follow your heart, a voice in my head likes to say, especially recently.
Something in the wind has learned my name. And it's telling me things are not the same.
I was still playing with Molly when Daddy came back home.
He looked terrible. He's never been this way. He a looked half-crazed. Half-dead. His eyes were red. He had been crying.
Why? Where was mummy? Had something happened?
"Daddy," I asked, "What happened? Where's mummy?"
He looked at me. There was a strange sense of loss in his eyes.
"She's gone."
"When will she come back?" Molly looked confused.
"Darling," his voice dropped to less than a whisper, his voice cracking, "She's not coming back. From now on it'll be just the three of us - me, you, and Molly."
I didn't understand. I was only five. Where had mummy gone? Why won't she come back? She promised me she'd always be here for me no matter what happened. She promised to stay by my side.
But I was still young, I did not understand many other things, and I knew better than to ask.
That was when the voice came.
Stay strong, Lucy...
I cried to sleep that night thinking of my mother.
I'm looking at my shoes and not anything else. My high heels are starting to feel uncomfortable but I can't take it off. This isn't the right place or time.
I don't look up. I'm not even sure of how I feel now and it's really confusing and I wonder if I've gone crazy. The last few weeks have been in a blur.
I don't know if Dad loves her. Audrey Livington. Is she just another substitute for Mum? He looks happy with her. I don't know. I still don't feel anything. Maybe it's because I grew up that way. To just get on with life and not add emotions into the mix.
You're brave, Lucy, you are.
I've been hearing the voice for many years and it still doesn't bother me. I don't know why.
Molly is beside me, and she's really excited.
"Lucy, you should be happy for him."
Maybe I should be. Maybe Molly is right. Maybe should just keep a smile on my face and do whatever everyone expects me to do.
"Lucy... Molly..." I hear my Dad calling in the distance.
"We're here," I reply. I realise my voice doesn't sound normal. "Outside the changing room."
He steps through the doorway. He's rather handsome in a tuxedo. He hugs us, like so many years before when we were younger. I miss it. "You two look great." Then he turns to me.
"The dress is beautiful on you girls."
Molly beams. I feel... I don't know what I feel.
"Only because Audrey bought it for me," I mutter under my breath.
Lucy... Don't be hard on your father.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"Oh, nothing. You look great, too."
Molly starts getting mushy. "Oh Dad... I'm so happy for you."
Dad looks uncomfortable, if only for a moment. Then Uncle Ron steps in.
"You ready?"
I nod, more confused than ever. I'm... numb. That's the word.
I wonder why I feel so differently from Molly. Why can't I be enthusiastic about this? Why can't I love Audrey too? Why can't I get over my Mum? Is it normal?
Audrey seems nice enough. I can't picture her as the ugly, evil stepmother in that muggle tale Cinderella. I hope that fact remains once she's with us.
Audrey is a nice person. Trust me.
And I do. I trust that voice. More than anything else. More than anyone else. It might seem strange to others but to me it makes absolutely perfect sense.
Without realizing it my feet have carried me through the doors of the church. Somehow I'm already sitting down with Molly on my left. On my right is - since when did he get there? - Lysander Scamander.
"Hi," I murmur.
"Hi," he replies.
None of us speak again, but the silence isn't awkward.
Through the entire wedding I haven't been paying much attention. I know I should but I just can't. I'm staring at my fingernails, Molly's handbag, Lysander's shoes - anything but Dad and Audrey.
In a flash it's over. It was much faster than I'd expected. Dad and Audrey walk over to us. Maybe I should get used to calling her Mum. Except she'll never replace my biological mother in my heart.
"How're you girls doing?" Percy grasps our little hands in his.
"Fine," Molly flashes him a radiant smile.
"Yeah... It was good." I smiled half-heartedly.
He gives a contented sigh. "Audrey'll be one of us from now on."
"One of us," Molly repeats, laughing.
I join in the laughter. It doesn't sound sincere, but who cares, at least I'm trying aren't I.
Penelope would have been proud of you, Lucy.
I've gotten used to life with Audrey. It hasn't been so bad. She's a really nice person, and hardly ever gets angry with us or scolds us. I think I've already accepted her as my mother. Dad's delighted.
One good thing about all this is: I'm not very emotionally depressed.
One bad thing: I'm not happy, either.
It's been a long time since those smiles have been genuine. Since those laughters have been real. I think the last was with my biological mum.
I wish she were still with us.
I believe she misses you too. She probably is somewhere up there in heaven, being your invisible guardian angel.
I know Dad misses her too. One night I crept out of my room into the kitchen to get a drink and found him in the living room sobbing over a bunch of photos. He was whispering, "I miss you, Penelope..."
I went back to bed thirsty, lying awake and thinking about how unfair life was.
I'm at my fifth year in Hogwarts. Many great things are expected of me - My father was Head Boy and a Prefect, after all, and he works at the ministry.
I feel like I'm expected to get straight 'O's for my O. W. L.s. It's not a nice feeling.
Also, I want to be a Healer but my parents want me to get a job at the ministry, preferably an Auror. Well, I've got no choice, have I?
This' the first time in a long while I've ever felt quite so disturbed. Yet I feel as though I can't do anything to improve my situation.
Is it really that bad?
Yes, of course it is.
Then follow your heart, for it knows what is right.
And I feel like screaming i've got no bloody control of my life but I don't because everyone'll think I'm on too much drugs or something and my parents have already heard enough of the things I do in school.
It's not really anything major, looking at all the other Hogwarts students, but well my parents are my parents.
"Guess what?" Molly jumped on my bed beside me.
The usual, I guess. Awards, house points, gossip. That's Molly and her usual stuff. But I don't like to ruin her fun.
Not looking up from Defensive Magical Theory, I asked in a bored voice, "What?"
"I'm dating Lysander!"
I blinked at her.
Blink. Blink. Blink. That was about all the reaction my brain was capable of doing.
"What?"
Lysander? Lysander Scamander? What a... surprise.
"It's true."
"Okay," I said stiffly before turning back to Chapter 21: Patronus.
"What's the matter?" Molly looked disappointed.
I laughed, but the sound came out slightly hollow.
"I'm just tired, Molly -" sniff "- I should probably go get some rest now. Well - you really like Lysander, don't you?"
Molly nodded, beaming.
I placed (almost slammed, really) the book on my table and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over myself, trying to block out Molly humming to the tune of A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love. I kept sniffing. It's probably just the flu, anyway.
I thought that voice would come back, but it didn't. Maybe it's because I've gotten too used to it, but I'm kind of disappointed.
I spent my summer holidays shut in my room. Doing revision, which was actually a lot like owl-ing my friends and learning to play the guitar (Imperturbable charms would be useful here, of course.)
It was quite peaceful. I didn't have fights with my parents over my future career, and hopefully it'd last this way.
Hell, who was I kidding.
Owls came in a few weeks after I came home. Ordinary Wizarding Level examination results. I got straight 'O's. So did Molly.
My parents looked pleased. Molly was ecstatic.
"Isn't this great, Lucy? We're going to be Aurors! I -"
"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "I want to be a Healer, not an Auror."
"Lucy," Mum - I've gotten used to calling her that - said impatiently, "Why be a Healer when you can be an Auror? Aurors are obviously the elite."
"Healers aren't that bad," I argued.
Dad shook his head, his eyes still fixed on the Daily Prophet. "You'll fare better as an Auror. Imagine the things you'll do out there. My decision is final."
"My decision is final. It's my life."
He glared at me. "Lucy, don't try to argue. I know what's best for you."
Rage - rage that I haven't felt in a long, long time boiled up in me.
"Yeah, yeah. It's all about you, isn't it? Since when has it been about me? Since when did I have a say in anything? A say in my life? Who d'you think I am? Some stupid string puppet?"
"LUCY -!"
"And now I can't even choose my own future, what the hell -"
SMACK.
There was a burning sensation on my left cheek. I lost my balance and nearly fell. This was the first time he had ever slapped me.
"I hate you," I whispered, blinking away tears. "I HATE YOU!"
I ran back up to my room, slammed the door shut and locked it tight. I stayed in there for a long time. I don't think anyone bothered to come up after me, yet I couldn't care less. I wasn't worried about Molly coming in anytime - she only came into the room when she really needed to - and she knew better than to disturb an angry Lucy.
I took out Penelope's picture from my bedside table, a single tear trickling down my right cheek. If only she were here... She would've respected my decision. She would've come into my room with a mug of hot chocolate to calm me down. This mess wouldn't have have even started.
Penelope... Why did you ever leave?
She didn't have a choice. She would've stayed if she could.
"Lucy?" Dad's voice came tentatively from behind the door.
"Yes?" My voice was hard, cold.
"Can I come in?"
"Whatever." I walked over to unlock the door.
He stood there awkwardly at the doorway. I glared at the doorknob, waiting for him to speak.
"Lucy... I'm sorry for the - the incident."
He's sincere about apologizing. Forgive and forget.
"It's okay," I said, even though it didn't sound sincere.
He took in a deep breath. "About your future career -"
"I'll be an Auror if you want me to be," I replied bluntly. "It's not up to me, is it?"
"No... You've got me wrong. If you really want to be a Healer, if you think it's right for you, then of course you have a right to choose."
I blinked in surprise.
"Oh. Okay. Well -" I swallowed "- thanks. I'm... I'm sorry for throwing a tantrum."
"No, I should apologize. I should've known."
Isn't it all right now?
I smiled to myself, just a little.
"Lucy... I don't really like Lysander."
I looked at her from above Guides to becoming a Healer.
"Molly, just a few weeks ago you told me you were totally in love with him."
"Well... Yes! I was," she said defensively. "Thirty-seven days ago."
I sighed. "Um, I've got something to confess too."
Molly's eyes widened. "What?"
"Uh. I was - I was in love with Lysander."
"What?" Molly shrieked, her voice two octaves higher than normal. I grabbed my ears, my face reddening.
"You should've told me!" she scolded.
"When you were dating him."
"I could've found another guy." She shrugged prettily. "Lorcan, maybe. He looks exactly like Lysander, anyway."
I stared at her incredulously.
Ten years later
I took a sip of coffee, papers scattered all around me. The Daily Prophet lay on my bed. The headlines read "Lucy Scamander, top Healer in St. Mungo's'.
"A penny for your thoughts," a voice breathed down my neck.
My breath caught. "Nothing," I said quickly.
Lysander sat down beside me, wrapping his hands around my waist.
"Tell me."
"Okay... I was thinking about how lucky I was to have you."
He chuckled. "Really?"
I smiled.
"I should be the lucky one."
I kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Something in the wind told me to follow my heart.
I did.
a/n: Review please (: One thing: I appreciate honest reviews more than good reviews, so flame me and I'll be more than grateful.
