A/N: Okay, this is my first Harry Potter fic, so any reviews will be very gratefully received, criticism an' all! I suppose this should be for Lucy, who Beta read some of it for me and spent hours looking up information on Lexicon for me! Thank you. (And I remembered to put you in my note!)
Minerva paced the corridors of Hogwarts. It was late, too late for students to be out, so she really should be getting to bed, but something was stopping her. There was something not quite right, she could feel it, something was out of place. Her mind kept flicking back to Lily Potter and she couldn't figure out why. The young witch had been dead 13 years now, she'd thought about her a lot just after her death, but the fiery redhead hadn't entered her thoughts in a long while now, and to be honest, she was grateful for that. After Lily's death Minerva found she couldn't think about anything else, her mind was constantly darting back to the young woman, wondering if they could have ever been, well, it was stupid to think about it now. She'd been dead for years now, what was the point on dwelling on something that would never happen? As much as she cared about Lily, endless thinking about her wouldn't bring her back, Minerva knew that, and even if she was still alive, there was no way there'd ever be anything between them, Lily loved James, and they had Harry. No, why linger on a past you can't change?
Lily stood shaking in the deserted hall. Looking to either side she was relieved to find herself alone, though she knew she couldn't guarantee that for long. She recognised the building she was standing in, it was Hogwarts, and from her time here as a student she could remember that the ghosts have a habit of sneaking up on people. Concentrating on the shattered mess on the floor in front of her, she bent down, kneeling on the cold stone floor to inspect the damage.
She felt a tear escape her eye as she saw there was no chance of fixing it. What a great day this had turned out to be. She'd only picked up the time-turner because she'd had a row with James, well; one of many, and just needed to get away from him. She'd thought it would be a good idea to go back just a few hours, when they'd been happy together, discussing the idea of having children, she knew that if she could just see that moment again she could remind herself of why she was with him, of why she loved him. But instead something had gone wrong. Very wrong. She was certain of that because she now found herself in Hogwarts' Great Hall.
What was worrying her most was that she had no idea how far back in time she'd gone. She only set it to go back four hours, but she could guess that she'd gone back further because not only had she ended up in different surroundings, but she could see through the windows that outside it was dark. She had aimed to go back to about midday so it obviously hadn't worked properly.
It suddenly occurred to Lily that, with her time-turner smashed, she may end up having to wait a period of days before she returned to the time she left. It wasn't terribly desirable given the fact she'd have to stay hidden, but with her means of time travel destroyed she had very little choice.
The young woman gulped, a pair of feet in front of her. So much for staying hidden. Knowing she had no option of running, she rose, brushing off the dirt she had now acquired on her jeans. When she raised her vision she couldn't prevent the ends of her mouth curling up into a smile as she looked into a pair of green eyes.
'Minerva.' She exclaimed, momentarily forgetting her current predicament, too caught up in her excitement at seeing Minerva Mcgonagall once again.
'Lily.' Minerva gasped. 'What the…' She found herself gulping, looking down to the broken mess on the floor. She studied it for a second, her face puzzled briefly before she realised what it once was. 'A time-turner? You travelled forward in time? How… I mean… no ones ever… how?' she stuttered eyeing Lily up and down, attempting to figure out if this was actually happening or just a very… bizarre dream. Every bone in her body was telling her she was dreaming; that it was impossible for Lily to be here. But her heart was telling her something different.
'I don't know. It just went wrong. Well, and then it broke.' Lily paused for a second, 'Hang on. How do you know I've gone forward it time?'
Minerva froze; she knew she couldn't tell Lily that she was to die, but she also couldn't lie to someone she considered a friend. 'You're young.'
Lily studied Minerva, noticing the woman had aged since she last saw her. 'Wait. What year are we in?'
'1994.' Minerva provided, watching as Lily's eyebrows rocketed.
'1994?' Lily shook her head in disbelief, 'No. No it can't be. It was… I don't belong here. It was 1979. That's where I belong.'
Minerva gulped once again, instantly recognising that date was merely two years before the fateful evening of Lily's death. It pained her to think about the young redhead's death. She'd always had a soft spot for Lily. When the young woman was alive she'd convinced herself she just cared about her as a friend. But after Lily's death she had to admit her feelings ran deeper than that; she loved her. She couldn't continue to deny it once the woman had died, even if the only person she told was herself.
'How am I going to get back?' Lily's voice dragged Minerva out of her thoughts.
'Come with me.' Minerva instructed, signalling for Lily to follow her before pivoting and striding towards her office. Lily complied; ready to hide if needs be, but grateful that no one seemed to be around.
Minerva opened her office door, taking a sweeping glance around the room before ushering Lily in, quickly shutting the door behind her.
'I'll go and speak to Fudge, the Minister of Magic.' She added quickly after seeing Lily's confused expression, briefly reminding herself that the young witch was out of her time zone. 'Explain what's happened and get your time-turner replaced. Don't go anywhere and make sure no one sees you.' Minerva concluded, picking up her box of floo powder.
'No, wait.' Lily called across the office, 'It's not official.'
'What?'
'My time-turner. It wasn't registered.'
Minerva sighed, shutting her eyes briefly. 'Oh Lily.'
'I know. I'm sorry to drag you into this. But you've got to help me get back, please Minerva.' The redhead pleaded, a few tears escaping her eyes.
'Lily. Lily come here.' Minerva whispered, closing the gap between them and pulling the young woman into a hug. Lily buried her head in Minerva's shoulder, tears now pouring out of her eyes and soaking the older woman's robes.
When Lily had finally calmed down she drew her head up so she came face to face with Minerva, their arms still entwined around the other's body.
Minerva stared deep into Lily's eyes; the dark haired woman's breath was rapid, probably due to their close proximity. It couldn't hurt to… I mean Lily's going back and she's going to… going to die… It's not like it would change anything… Minerva pushed her thoughts away, concentrating only on the young beauty in her arms. She brought one of her hands around to Lily's face, running her fingers down the redhead's cheek before using one finger to tilt Lily's head up slightly. Seeing Lily not retreat added a little to Minerva's confidence, the older woman softly pressing her lips to Lily's.
Lily froze initially, her body taken over by shock, though after a few seconds she responded to the kiss, she didn't have much time to though, as moments later Minerva pulled back and turned away. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have down that. I'll take you back home, I'll just go and get my time-turner.' She hurried out of the office, leaving a shocked Lily to slump into a chair.
Minerva headed towards Dumbledore's office, not allowing herself to stop and contemplate the events between herself and Lily moments before. She knew that if she paused and spent even a second reflecting on it she'd end up in tears, and right now that really was something she could do without.
Lily noticed her breath was rapid, her mind spinning. What had just happened had been a shock, she couldn't deny that, but she wasn't entirely sure that it was an unwelcome shock. No matter how hard she attempted to convince herself that she didn't want that kiss to happened and that James was the only person she had feelings for, she just couldn't quite manage it. She cared deeply for Minerva, she'd been a good friend when she'd needed one, and that meant more to her than words could ever express. But she wasn't sure that a relationship with Minerva was what she wanted. Of course she loved James, and that was playing on her mind, but it wasn't just that. She couldn't quite decipher her feelings for Minerva, and the thought of a relationship with her scared her. It had never been something she'd considered and suddenly having little choice but to think about it was only adding to her confusion.
Minerva headed back down the stairs of Dumbledore's office, so caught up in concentrating on not thinking of Lily; she ended up bumping straight into Harry. The expression on his face as he informed himself of his surroundings told her he had been equally wrapped up in his thoughts, but the young boy quickly reacted to Minerva's presence.
'Sorry professor.' He muttered, initially continuing to walk towards Dumbledore's office but pausing after a few seconds, deciding maybe that McGonagall was a more appropriate person to ask. 'Professor McGonagall, could I talk to you for a minute?'
'Not now Harry.'
'Please, professor, it's important.'
'Sorry Harry, I have some urgent business to take care of right now.' After watching Harry's face fall, Minerva inspected him more closely. The bottom of his robes was ripped; a small amount of blood trickling down his arm from a cut. Her eyes once again returning to his face, smiling slightly as she noticed for herself how similar his eyes were to Lily's. Shaking those thoughts from her head, she studied Harry's eyes as his own as a pose to Lily's, she saw in them something she recognised instantly, his face hadn't fallen from disappointment, but fear. Concerned about his safety, not only as a student, but also as Lily's only son, she thought to herself quickly. She really did need to deal with Lily first, but she could see Harry when she returned, she was sure she wouldn't be long. 'Come to my office in two hours, I'll speak to you then.' It was more of a command then an offer, but she could tell from his face he was grateful for her proposal.
'Thank you.'
'Return to the Griffindor common room for the time being, you shouldn't be out this late as it is. I'll see you in my office at 12 o'clock sharp, knock first.' She warned; concerned that if something went wrong his dead mother could still be occupying her office when Harry arrived.
'Yes professor. Thank you.' He replied, scurrying back to the common room as instructed.
Minerva continued back towards her office, pausing and taking a deep breath in before opening the door. 'I don't know how easy it will be, I don't think anyone's ever used one of these to go back fifteen years. We could end up having to go back a few years at a time. It might take a while.' Minerva was starting to regret promising to speak to Harry in two hours, after thinking it through on her way back to her office she wasn't so sure whether that was long enough to get Lily back to her own time.
'Okay. Thank you for this, I really shouldn't be involving you in my mess, but I just didn't know what to do.' Lily admitted, biting her lip as she wondered what to do about their kiss.
'It's fine, Lily. I wouldn't let anyone go through something like this alone.'
'Well, thanks.' Lily paused for a moment, an awkward silence descending on the two witches. 'Minerva… what happened earlier… that kiss…'
'Forget about it Lily. I'm shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry, let's just not mention it again.' Minerva replied, attempting to keep her voice even.
'But Minerva… I…'
'Please Lily, it's just easier if we leave it.' Minerva couldn't bear to hear Lily's feelings, right now she'd prefer not to know if she had a chance at love or not. Seeing Harry had brought the older woman to her senses, Lily and James loved each other, and Harry needed Minerva to ensure they stayed together, after all, he wouldn't have been born in the time Lily had come from.
'But Minerva…'
'Lily, there's things you don't understand, things that complicate it more than you could ever imagine. Just trust me, you need to leave it. Now come here, I'll bewitch my time-turner to spin itself, fifteen years is quite a lot of hours.'
Lily simply rose from the seat and stepped over to Minerva, silently standing next to her while the dark haired woman put the chain of the time-turner around both of their necks, bewitching it with a simple spell before taking Lily's hand in her own. 'You ready?'
'Yes.' Lily replied, closing her eyes as the earlier events in the office flashed in front of them, their kiss replayed once again, taunting her.
Minerva watched as Lily's eyes fluttered shut, allowing the older witch to look down at their joined hands, savouring the moment in the knowledge that it would never happen again.
It took a while before their time travel finally slowed, though when it did people were entering and leaving the office less frequently and Minerva was relieved to find they were alone when they finally arrived at their destined time. Removing her hand from Lily's tight grip, she took the chain off the redhead's neck. Minerva was unsure if the young woman's fierce grip was due to the guaranteed fear involved in time travel or their events of earlier, but knew she shouldn't contemplate it.
'Right, well, do you know where you were at this time?' Minerva asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence surrounding them.
'Yeah. I'd just gone to the three broomsticks. I rented a room there after an argument with James. Well, a few arguments recently. It was there that I decided to go back to a time when we were happy, to remind me why I loved him, but it went wrong.'
Minerva attempted to process the information, by the sounds of it Lily and James were having a rocky time in their relationship. She felt guilty for kissing Lily even more so now, knowing she'd probably only made matters worse for the redhead and James.
'I don't feel like being alone, not just yet anyway. Will you come with me?'
'I don't really think that would be a good idea Lily. Not after what happened earlier.'
'Please Minerva, I need someone with me.'
Minerva sighed, 'Okay. But I'll have to go back soon, I promised Ha…' Minerva quickly stopped herself, realising she couldn't let Lily know about Harry. 'I promise d a student I'd speak to them about something later.'
'Okay. What's their name?' she asked innocently, attempting to prevent their conversation from completely drying out.
Minerva contemplated it for a minute, there was no harm in telling Lily his first name, was there? 'Harry.'
'Harry? That's a nice name. Maybe I'll ca…' Lily shook the thoughts from her head, not sure if she even had a relationship with James any longer, never mind still be considering children with him.
'What?'
'Oh, nothing.' Lily dismissed it quickly; 'Shall we go before someone sees us?'
'Yes, we probably should.'
'Here.' Lily said, handing Minerva a glass of butterbeer.
'Thanks.' Minerva smiled, taking the glass from Lily, pulling away quickly when their hands brushed together. 'Sorry, I… I didn't mean to.'
'Don't be sorry.' Lily whispered, taking the glass back from Minerva's hand and placing it down on the small table in the centre of the room. Smiling slightly, she stepped closer to Minerva, running a hand down her cheek. 'Kiss me again.'
Minerva shut her eyes briefly, she didn't want to split up Lily and James, but she did want to… Opening her eyes again she stared deep into Lily's, moving her lips closer silently she looked into Lily's eyes right up until the moment their lips met, the two women shutting their eyes simultaneously.
After a few seconds they both pulled back, knowing it was wrong, no matter how right it felt.
'I better go.' Minerva reached for her coat, about to pull it on when Lily stopped her.
'Don't. Stay with me.'
'I can't. I've got to… James…'
'Stay with me tonight. Just hold me. Please, I want to be in your arms, just for a night.'
'Lily…'
'Please.'
Minerva sighed, knowing she shouldn't, but… what difference could a night make? She'd just have to apologise to Harry when she got back for not being there. She'd get another chance to speak to Harry; she'd never get another chance to… Smiling, Minerva walked Lily over to the double bed, lying her down before settling next to her, still fully clothed, simply putting her arms around the young woman, allowing her to rest her head on the older witch's shoulder.
'Good night Lily.'
'Good night Minerva.' The redhead whispered, smiling as she shut her eyes and slowly allowed herself to drift into sleep.
Minerva reached out to the bedside table, turning the clock around and inspecting it in the darkness, just making out the hands she could see it was almost half past three. As much as she wanted to be there when Lily woke up, she knew it would be too hard from them both. Carefully moving the redhead from her position slightly on top of her. Biting her lip as she looked to the door, she pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket, quickly scribbling a note.
Lily,
I'm sorry to have to leave but I think we both know it's for the best. You'll always have a place in my heart and I hope there'll be a place for me in yours. I hope you know that we wouldn't work out. I'm very sorry Lily. Make sure you go and see James, you were good together.
With love, Minerva.
As she crept out of the small room she felt a tear run down her face. 'I love you Lily.' She whispered into the door before turning away and proceeding back towards Hogwarts.
Minerva crept back into her office, fiddling with a locked draw in her desk, finally managing to open in with no key. Producing a small bottle from the back of it, she opened the lid, gulping the liquid down.
She soon found the potion kicking in and before she knew it she was back in the year 1994. Sighing to herself, she settled down in her office chair, allowing her head to flop into her hands. After a few minutes Minerva remembered her promise to Harry. She knew she was not only too tired, but also too confused right now to visit a pupil, so resolved to find him first thing tomorrow morning, wandering out of her office with the sole purpose of going to her own bed.
