Rigzilla
"No way, man. I'm not going up there."
Mordecai sternly crossed his arms and frowned at what Rigby had just suggested.
"Aw, c'mon! It's just for a second!"
"Dude, Skips would kill me if I went in his room. Besides, you know how he gets when we ask him about his personal life. Imagine what he'd do if we went through his personal 'S'."
"But Mordecai", began Rigby, "we need sodas for the party on Saturday night. I mean, we're broke. And Skips is the only one who has a whole fridge full of them."
"Yeah, great." replied Mordecai, keeping his arms firmly in place. "But a few sodas aren't worth knowing what Skips might do."
"Oh, please." scoffed Rigby, rolling his eyes. "What's he gonna do to you?"
"That's the point. I don't know what he'll do to me! He'd probably turn me into a potato or something!"
"You worry too much, man." commented Rigby, sitting back down on the couch. "If you want them so bad," responded Mordecai, "why don't you get them?"
The raccoon turned to his friend, giving him a disturbed look. "Are you nuts? Who knows what the 'H' Skips would do to me if I went snooping around in his room."
"Hmph-hmph," replied the logically-oriented blue-jay, closing his eyes and nodding his head with each grunt. "I rest my case."
Rigby frowned, feeling defeated. Due to his competitive nature, his paws curled up into fists, and he turned to Mordecai.
"Alright," he began. "If you're too much of a wuss to go up there, then I'll go!"
"Psssht…right," remarked the sarcastic blue-jay. "Dude, you're afraid of your own shadow."
"Shut up!" snapped Rigby. "Watch! I'll prove to you that I'll do it."
And with that, Rigby leapt off of the couch and scurried upstairs into Skips' room.
When he was at the door, Rigby pressed his ear against it. He listened carefully, making sure the yeti wasn't in there.
"Well," whispered Rigby quietly to himself when he was sure no one was in there. "I guess the coast is clear."
He reached for the knob and slowly turned it, the door becoming slightly ajar. Right at that moment, he heard another door open. Quickly, he opened the door, scurried inside Skips' room, and shut the door.
He stayed with his back pressed against the door, hoping it wasn't Skips who had opened the other one. But, on the other side, he heard Pops giggling and saying, "Oh my! I didn't know that Descartes rule of signs proposes how many times a polynomial subsequently changes signs from positive to negative! How riveting! Ah-ha-ha-haaaa!"
Rigby opened the door just a pinch when he was sure Pops had walked past him. He stuck out his head out a little to see Pops walking downstairs. The raccoon shut the door again and breathed a sigh of relief.
He then turned his attention back to his original goal. His eyes carefully scanned the area from left to right. His eyes landed on a small fridge by Skips' bed, and he thought, "Aha! That's probably where Skips' keeps his soda!"
Rigby quietly scurried over to it, and he grabbed the handle on the little white door. He yanked it open, and all he saw were green cans without labels on them.
"Huh?" uttered Rigby, scratching his head with his paw. "What the 'H' is this 'S'?" He reached for one, and he observed it. It looked like an ordinary can in which soda generally comes in; aluminum, a lid, that distinct cylindrical shape.
But it had no label, no company logo, no nothing. So what was it?
"Man," scoffed Rigby, still staring at the can. "Why's Skips so stingy about what his room holds? Just a bunch of soda cans without labels on them. Pfffft! Big deal." Rigby then put his paw on the lid.
"I wonder what this soda tastes like…"
He lifted up the top and he peered inside of the can before drinking. It didn't retain any color or anything, it was just clear; like water. Perhaps it was Lemon-Lime flavored?
And come to think of it, it wasn't carbonated either, no bubbles or fizz.
"Huh," said Rigby, still looking inside. "Maybe it's soda-water?"
He then raised the can to his lips and began drinking it. He lowered the can and smacked his lips a little, trying to get a flavor out of it.
"Hey…this is just water!" Rigby cried out, giving a dirty look at the can as if it were its fault. "Why the 'H' is Skips putting water into green soda cans? Hasn't he ever heard of bottled water?"
Rigby rolled his eyes and groaned, "I just risked getting turned into a potato for nothing! Crap!" He stormed out of Skips' room and tossed the canned water into the garbage can in his room. He then marched downstairs into the living room and sat next to Mordecai on the couch.
The blue-jay turned to his friend. "Did you get the soda?" he inquired.
Rigby's eyes shifted to Mordecai looking bored. "Dude, that soda sucks! It tastes like water! Can you believe that?"
"'Water'? Ugh!" groaned the grounds-keeper, throwing his wings up in frustration. "This sucks! We're just gonna have to tell them we aren't going to the party."
They both sighed and sunk into the couch, disappointed that they're not going to be able to have fun this Saturday night.
After a few minutes, Rigby's stomach began to feel…funny. It started out as a little tummy-ache. At first, Rigby ignored it, thinking it was just something he ate earlier. But then, after a few more minutes, the pain became worse.
That's when the raccoon noticed he had begun to sweat. A few drops of perspiration began trickling down the sides of his head.
He winced in pain and began putting his paw on his stomach. He suddenly hopped off of the couch and began running towards the door leading outside.
"Hey Rigby," called out Mordecai as he witnessed his friend running outside. "Where you headed?"
"Just…getting some air! Be right back!" Rigby managed to choke out as he slammed the door shut behind him.
Outside, Rigby collapsed on the ground, groaning loudly as the pain became a sharp, piercing burn in his gut. He began panting heavily and his felt so nauseous. He couldn't even walk anymore, he was just crawling.
And then suddenly, he gazed at his paws, and noticed sharp claws beginning to grow on them. He arched his eyebrows as he noticed them getting longer and sharper.
All of a sudden, he felt and saw his fur becoming rougher and scalier, like a lizard's.
"What…what the hell's going on?" cried Rigby, as he noticed his body performing this bizarre transformation. Then, he felt large, spiky objects beginning to protrude from his spine. He felt his teeth beginning to hurt as they transformed into large, menacing fangs.
"What…What's happening…to me…?" screamed the raccoon as his voice became deeper and more like a roar.
Mordecai, on the other hand, was still inside watching television. He chuckled at a cheap comedy program that was airing…
When suddenly, he heard a loud crash that seemed to rattle the entire house. Mordecai arched his eyebrow and stared up at the ceiling as small flakes of plaster chipped off of it. He stood up and called out, "Rigby? You ok?"
The blue-jay opened the front door and popped his head outside. Rigby was gone, but he noticed something unusual; Giant craters that were in the shape of some giant foot-prints seemed to have come out of nowhere and appeared to be headed towards town. His eyes then began searching for Rigby, but he was nowhere to be found.
"Huh," said Mordecai aloud, "maybe he went for a walk." Mordecai shrugged his shoulders and went back inside to finish watching his show, ignorant of what was to be in store for him later on.
Meanwhile, in a section of the city known as "Little Tokyo" due to the fact that it had a large population of citizens from and/or had family from Japan, the people went along their daily business, going to and fro and performing errands that needed to be done.
A bullet-train was going along its established route across the city, picking up and dropping off passengers as it sped through tunnels and bridges.
Then, the train had to make a stop. A few passengers boarded on, and the train then proceeded to take-off, when all of a sudden, there was a loud crash. The train shook violently for a moment or two, and then a few of the lights went out.
A few of the passengers groaned in aggravation, and the engineer's voice came on through electronic speakers embedded on the roof of the train.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we're experiencing a few minor technical difficulties. Please be patient and we'll have the train running in no time. Thank you for your cooperation."
The passengers groaned at this irritating inconvenience. One of the passengers was reading a newspaper, and he rolled it up and put it in his suit-case since the lights were out. Suddenly, he felt the train lurch forward again, and this time, he felt it getting lifted up from the tracks. He peered out of his window, and he saw a giant, yellow snake-eye peering back at him.
He shrieked loudly, alerting the other passengers onboard. The helpless people on the trains screamed bug-eyed as it looked in on them.
The monster roared ferociously, and it flung the train down on the ground. It then turned around and grabbed a few power lines. It pulled them down, sending electrical sparks and debris down on the ground.
It picked up a bus and it threw it back down as it waded through the city towards the center of town. The people all began running for their lives, becoming hysterical at the towering monster barreling towards them.
He began smashing buildings and tearing them off of their foundations. Cars were crushed beneath his great weight, and the city's sky-line lit up with flames.
Little did they know that this was monster wasn't just a monster. It was Rigby, converted into this fearsome beast because of Skips' monster potions that were concealed in green cans. The potion had changed him into a large, lizard-like monster with scaly-green skin, large yellow eyes, razor-sharp teeth, and a long, spiked tail. He also had large spikes protruding from his back and long claws on his fingers.
Thus, Rigzilla was born.
Meanwhile, back at Mordecai and Rigby's house…
Mordecai was still viewing his favorite show. Every so often, he would chuckle at the some of the gags that were written into it.
The skit on the show displayed a nun and a priest walking into a bar. The priest said to the bartender, "Get me a drink, would ya? I'm dyin' of thirst over here!"
And then the nun stood up, grabbed her crotch and said, "I got your drink right here!"
Right before the joke could conclude, a news flash suddenly appeared on screen.
"We interrupt your daily programming for this special news bulletin"
Suddenly, a news reporter appeared on-screen looking distressed with hundreds of people behind her running away from an object off-screen.
"A giant monster has just appeared over Little Tokyo! Please be advised, this is not a drill! I repeat, this is not a drill! Everyone please seek shelter immediately! We do not know when or where this monster originally appeared, but we strongly advise everyone to stay indoors, get into the lowest—"
A loud crash then made the reporter flinch, and she began screaming.
"Please, we urge all people to gather their families and resources to a safer location, we—"
The screen then faded to static, and her voice was no longer heard. Mordecai scratched his head and said, "Wow, what the 'H' was that all about?"
He then stood up and strode over to the window, and his eyes landed on something peculiar. He saw Little Tokyo in the distance on fire.
"Whoa…" uttered Mordecai, his beak and palms pressed against the glass. "That must be some crazy party."
Suddenly, Skips burst through the front door, wide-eyed and angry.
"Who went into my room?" he demanded. Mordecai played dumb and raised his eyebrow. "What…what do you mean?"
"Someone drank one of my potions! I know because the side-effect was supposed to turn whoever drank it into a giant Godzilla-monster! Who did it?"
He skipped over to Mordecai, grabbed him by the shoulders, and shook him violently. "Who did it? Who did it? Tell me!"
"Ok, ok!" blurted out Mordecai as Skips continuously shook him. "Rigby did it! Rigby did it!"
Skips stopped shaking the blue-jay and put a stressed hand on his forehead. "Crap…" he groaned.
"What? What's the matter?" inquired Mordecai.
"I kept that potion in my room for a reason. It wasn't meant to be drunk. It was an old high school science project I had done when I was younger. I put it away because it was flawed. I didn't want anybody drinking it. Now Rigby's on a rampage, and there's no way to stop him. Unless…"
"Unless what?"
"We either hit him with a nuclear weapon, or inject him with the cure I made for it a long time ago." Mordecai's eyes widened. "But if we hit him with a nuclear weapon, he'll die!"
"That's right. And we can't put him to sleep, since there's no tranquilizer known to mankind that can put down a beast like that. There's only one other option."
"What?" asked Mordecai.
"One of us has to drink the monster potion to get into a fight with Rigby. Hopefully, we knock him out so we can give him the potion that cures him while he's out-cold."
"But how's that gonna work? I mean, once you drink it, you just go nuts!"
"Yeah, but I invented a special potion that's hidden in my room that still allows higher brain function while being a giant monster."
"Really? Awesome! So what monster will you become?"
"…I'm not gonna be the one who drinks the monster potion…"
Mordecai blinked, and then he gulped. "You mean…?"
"Yup," replied Skips, nodding his head. "You got us into this mess, you're getting us out."
"Oh crap…"
Back in Little Tokyo…
Rigzilla was still ravaging the city, smashing buildings, crushing cars, and destroying everything in sight. The giant monster tore a building from off of its foundation, and he crushed it with his own claws.
Suddenly, he felt a sharp sting on his back. It was a equivalent to a bee sting to a human. Rigzilla whirled around to see an armada of tanks heading towards him, blasting him with heavy artillery. Rigzilla growled and then he charged at the tanks, stepping on every one of them. The soldiers inside of the armored vehicles scurried away to safety from the behemoth.
A fleet of helicopters armed with machine-guns began firing at him, hoping this would bring him down. But Rigzilla turned his attention towards them, reared his head back, and unleashed a ray of neon-blue atomic breath at them, incinerating them at the touch.
It was official; everything the military was throwing at him was child's play compared to Rigzilla's strength. The people began weeping and praying that this was just a nightmare, that is, until, a booming, monstrous voice (comparable to Rigzilla's) shook the entire city.
"Dude, cut that out!"
Rigzilla whirled around to see a giant monster that appeared to be a hybrid of a cockroach and a rhinoceros beetle, though he stood upright. He had drills for hands, and had a large horn-like appendage on his forehead.
The creature's name was Mordalon.
Mordalon and Rigzilla both faced each other, ready to fight one-on-one.
"Look man," spoke Mordalon, trying to see if he could reason with his friend. "You're in enough trouble as it is, you may as well just give up."
Rigzilla bared his teeth, roared, and charged at Mordalon. The former grounds-keeper gasped and then he went flying as his best friend rammed into him as hard as possible.
Mordalon crashed into a set of buildings, knocking them all down. He shook his head and stared at Rigzilla, who had his fists clenched and was baring his teeth.
He stood up, and he grabbed a chunk of a building (albeit with slight difficulty due to his hands being drills), and he hurled it over at Rigzilla. The former-raccoon stumbled backwards as the piece of architecture hit him on the cranium.
Former-Rigby then growled and his claws curled up into fists. Former-Mordecai clamped his drills-for-hands together, making sparks rain down as he did.
"Alright dude," snarled Mordalon, gritting his teeth. "Let's rumble!" The two giant monsters charged at each other, appearing just like a cheesy, old arcade game.
The two monsters ran at each other, crushing buildings, cars, roads, and people along the way. The clashed into one another, and a barrage of punches, kicks, scratching, biting, and super moves followed.
Rigzilla curled up his entire body into a circle and formed a giant, living buzz saw with the spikes on his back. He rolled over towards Mordalon, leaving a trail of destruction behind. He cut him multiple times and sent him to the floor.
Mordalon stood up and he initiated his own special move; he flew up into the air with his beetle-wings while Rigzilla watched him from Earth. Mordalon then came down and scooped him up from behind, wrapping his massive, muscular arms around him. He was going to body-slam Rigzilla into the ground.
The former blue-jay flew up towards the sky at 90 degrees, and then he did a loop in the air, and prepared to perform a dive bomb into the city below. He crashed into the streets, creating an enormous crater with Rigzilla inside of it.
Rigzilla shot up angrily, roaring an infuriated roar, and he jumped on top of Mordalon, repeatedly pounding his face with both fists.
Mordalon opened up the pincers around his mouth, and spit out a fireball, burning Rigzilla. This caused Rigzilla to jump off of him and back away.
Mordalon then charged at Rigzilla, but Rigzilla whacked him away with a fierce tail whip. Then, Mordalon gritted his teeth and began charging the death ray he could shoot from the horn appendage on his forehead.
Rigzilla interpreted this as a challenge, and the spikes on his back began glowing neon-blue. A light-orange death-ray fired from Mordalon's horn, and Rigzilla spewed out his atomic breath.
Both beams hit each other, causing the entire city to quake violently. The lasers were so powerful that even the sky began turning a crimson red.
Down in the city, Skips acquired the cure and was driving as fast as he possibly could towards the two dueling monsters.
That's when Skips felt the car shaking, at first only slightly, and then it escalated to a violent tremor. He looked up and observed the two giant grounds-keepers firing their lasers. Skips immediately got out of the car and began crying out, "Mordecai! Rigby! Stop! That's too much power!"
But, clearly preoccupied with their war, they only pressed on, regardless of what may happen. By now, cracks had begun appearing on the road, and buildings began crumbling down from the intense strength of the lasers.
After a few moments, the lasers suddenly had electricity circulating around them, and a sound similar to an airplane's engine powering up occurred.
Skips pupils shrunk as he saw that this had reached a catastrophic level. At the top of his lungs, he screamed, "YOU'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!"
Once again, the two beasts ignored their friend's pleas and the fight continued. By now, Skips was sweating excessively and he couldn't take his eyes off of the beams.
The yeti turned around to witness all the people running, screaming, and praying that the two monsters would finish themselves off. They had all become tiny, insignificant beings compared to the two former grounds-keepers.
Skips then took a deep breath amidst all of this chaos, and closed his eyes.
And then…it happened…
A massive explosion engulfed the entire city. A dome of fire covered the town, incinerating and destroying everything around the area. The explosion could be heard from several hundred miles away. Every organism had perished in the fiery expansion.
Everyone, including Skips, Rigby, Mordecai, and all the people, had been killed. The city was left charred and in ruins, and there was nothing left except a few fires left-over from the devastation left behind by Mordecai and Rigby, and crows landing on top of destroyed cars and broken street lights.
Several days later…
Emergency teams had gone to recover bodies, clean up, and investigate just what had happened. A few citizens from neighboring towns also came to observe and help out with the cleaning, one of them being jolly old Pops.
Pops carefully searched the area, blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had struck. He heard something "big" had happened here, and because he had a curiosity as big as his heart, he just had to go see. But it wasn't a very nice surprise.
There was nothing but destruction and ruin. Cars flipped over, crows cawing grimly, buildings destroyed and dilapidated for miles, and bodies hidden beneath the rubble.
"Oh my," uttered Pops, frowning a bit. "Something went terribly wrong with this party." He then turned around to see a large, furry arm sticking out of a pile of rubble. For some reason, this arm looked "familiar". Pops marched over it and he began moving away rocks and debris that were on top of it.
Finally, he uncovered Skips' body, charred and burnt. He shook his head when he saw his friend, and then he gently put him back down. And then he noticed something in his other hand. Pops snatched it up and saw that it was a purple can with a label written in marker.
It said, "Cure for monster potion".
Right then and there, Pops smiled a little. He put a hand to his mouth while giggling, and he said, "My, oh my. When will we learn that nature will forever expose the folly of mankind? Ah-ha-haaaaaaa!"
