A/N: So I saw someone on my tumblr dash begging for a klaine AU in which Kurt is a phone sex line operator and Blaine calls one night feeling lonely, and they fall in love over the phone through many calls after that first one, and eventually meeting face to face, and for some reason I could not resist. So here's chapter 1!
"You sure you don't want to come out with us? Get a few drinks?" David's voice comes through the phone line with a hint of static. Blaine can hear a woman talking with someone in the background.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'm just gonna stay home tonight. You know, work to do, chores I've been putting off…" He really does wish he could go out and enjoy quality time with his friend, but, not for the first time and certainly not the last, he wishes he didn't have to be alone.
David was bringing his fiancé, afterall, and Blaine couldn't stop himself from wondering where his somebody was.
David sighs through the static, as if he could hear his friend's thoughts. "Alright. Some other time, then? You'd better text me." Blaine smiles weakly to himself, thankful David knows him well enough not to press it further.
"Yeah, absolutely. Tell Stacy I said hi, ok?" With David's affirmation he ends the call and sets his phone down on an end table, promptly throwing himself face-first onto the couch so he can groan loudly into a throw pillow.
He is so sick of being alone.
He wishes there is someone he could connect to, who knows what this feels like. But everyone he knows- and he's double-checked at least four times, desperate to come to the realization that he isn't the only one of his friends who's never been in a relationship- has always had someone who understands them.
He sits up and shakes his head, wiping the all-too-familiar-lately moisture from his eyes and refusing to have another pity party for himself. He has better things to concentrate on this fine, lonely evening.
His stomach gargles noisily and he stands, making his way to his small kitchen, glad to have been presented with a distraction.
He digs around in the freezer and pulls out a microwaveable meal for one, starts it cooking, grabs one can of Pepsi from the fridge, pulls out the one chair at his barely-big-to-qualify-as-one table, and sinks into it like a scoop of ice cream that has fallen from someone's cone, sad and forgotten and left to melt there on the hot pavement.
He drops his head down on the table with a thud and wrenches his eyes shut, trying to convince himself that this wasn't one of those nights, sufferingly long and unbearably empty.
Some part of him knows that he could be doing something about his soul-crushing loneliness, he could be putting himself out there, meeting people, initiating things. But a bigger part of him still wants to be swept off his feet by a beautiful prince with angelic features and deep, sparkling eyes, like he'd seen in Disney movies as a child. He wants to ask a stranger for directions and be met with his soulmate, or bump something out of someone's hands, apologize profusely, bend down to pick the thing up and suddenly be struck by cupid's arrow.
He also knows that that is very improbable and that his silly fantasies are probably the reason he's been single his whole life.
He's yanked free of his suffocating thoughts by the dinging of the microwave, and his eyes snap open. He swears it's saying lo-ser, lone-ly, sad-sack. He shoots it an irritable glare and decides to ignore it while his food cools inside, his gaze lowering back to the tabletop.
That's when an ad in the paper lying sprawled across its surface inexplicably catches his eye.
No, he couldn't.
First off, he's never done anything of that sort before, and he's certain he'd be horrible at it. Secondly, despite the pity party he was currently having and swore he wouldn't be, he hasn't convinced himself that he's that level of desperate.
Though he could get something good out of it…
He worries his lower lip as he intently writes up a pros and cons list in his head. And because he's alone in his apartment, he's more than willing to forget his troubles for even a little while, he's weepingly lonely, he can't deny the validity of a good list, and he's so, so incredibly alone, he snatches up his home phone from the hook and shakily dials the number.
After a ring and a half someone picks up, practically purring into the receiver pressed against Blaine's ear and his nerves haven't calmed down in the slightest.
"Vocal Fantasies Phone Sex Services, how can I make your dreams come true?"
Chapter 2 coming soon!
