It's Education Stupid
Author: Golden Feathers Edward
Declaimer: I don't own Naruto! If I did I would have had a bunch of YAOI dominating the series!!! (Glad I got that out of the way.) Oh and I don't own the whole idea just pieces of it here and there got it from a book called e-tales two: more of the best and worst of internet humor.
Warnings: on swear word and sexual humor. Funny shit.
AN: I was bore and I couldn't think of anything to write and was lazy trying to type one of my other stories that wrote on paper so I typed up this quick funny story on my old computer witch is a dinosaur. So I hope you like this and don't get mad at me too badly for this. Believe me you people will find a way I just know it but maybe I'm just paranoid.
Ok enough of my talking one with the fic!!!!
It was one of those days when you know when you're going to have a hard day at work in a matter of speaking and Iruka felt like it was going to be one of those days. Only an hour as passed since the start of class and he felt like he would be receiving a major headache pretty soon by one of his students. Right now they were studying math since a ninja required the basic education in all subjects as reading, writing, and mathematics, so that was what they were doing starting off with simple word problems which was the assignment for today due at the end of class. Iruka just walked around the room watching over his pupils stopping here and there to help students that were having trouble. So far not many need help grasping most of the idea behind the questions. The ones that seemed that they didn't need help where Aburane Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke. This batch of kids were the best he had so far but some lacked motivation like Shikamaru who now was sleeping in his seat, Ino and Sakura were to busy staring at the Uchiha boy and Hinata was just to low self esteem. As for the ones that needed help were basically Inuzuka Kiba, Akimichi Choji, and last but not least Uzumaki Naruto. To remind you these kids were only six or seven years of age so if was a miracle that most of them grasped the concept so quickly . . . . . . . . except for one.
"Iruka-sensei! I need help!" a loud obnoxious voice bellowed with a high pitch to their voice.
With a sigh of irritation he walked over to the loud bouncing boy.
"Naruto can't you be a little more quiet?" he asked already feeling a headache coming on.
Don't get him wrong he like the kid even if he did harbor the demon fox but there was time that the kid was just to loud.
The scarred ninja recited the following story that was displayed on the worksheet, "There are three birds sitting on a wire. A ninja throws a kunai at one of the birds killing it. How many birds are left on the wire?"
Naruto paused to think about it making that cute adorable face that young children could pull off on the older adults.
"None," he replied thoughtfully.
"No, no, no, let's try again," his teacher said patiently.
Iruka held up three fingers.
"There are three birds sitting on a wire. A ninja throws a kunai at one of the birds killing it," the young teacher put down one finger, "How many birds are left on the wire?"
"None," the blonde boy said with authority, is stubborn as usual, crossing his little arms across his chest.
Iruka sighed in exasperation and he could have sworn he heard Sasuke snort in amusement in the background. He shrugged it off as delusions. Focusing back to Naruto he gave the little boy a hard stare.
"Tell me how you came up with that Naruto," the Chuunin asked really curious why he would say the same answer.
"It's simple," Naruto said with a big cheesy grin on his face, "After the ninja killed that one bird with a kunai, he scared the hell out of the other two and flew away."
The scared ninja chuckled in amusement, "Well," he said, "It's not technically correct, but I like the way you think Naruto. The best comment I've heard from you so far."
"Okay Iruka-sensei," the foxy blonde boy chimed, "Now let me ask you a question. There are three women sitting on a bench eating lollipops. One woman is licking the popsicle, one woman is biting the popsicle, and one is sucking the popsicle. Which one is married?" Naruto asked innocently.
The Chuunin looked at the boy's angelic face and writhed in agony, turning three shades of red. Naruto didn't like to be kept waiting so a frown started to appear on his face.
"C'mon," the young seven year old said impatiently, "One is licking the popsicle, one is biting and one is sucking. Which one is married?"
"W-well," Iruka gulped and in a barely audible whisper replied, "the one who's sucking?"
Iruka's face was practically burning from embarrassment.
"No," the fox boy said with surprise and confusion, "The one with the wedding ring on. But I like the way you think Iruka-sensei!"
Iruka was having a coughing fit and just then he felt like dieing then and there. How could he have thought such a question was meant to be naughty coming from obvious Naruto of all people!? He felt like a pervert right then and SWORE he heard Sasuke choking his laughter back but he couldn't be sure so he once again shrugged it off. The young teacher turned his heated stare at the innocent blonde boy.
"Naruto?"
"Yes, Iruka-sensei?"
"Where did you get such a . . . . . . unique question from?" the man asked strained.
"Oh! Some old man with long spiky white hair told me and said to ask that question to old man Hokage saying it was a sneak preview to his next book or something! Why do you ask?" Naruto asked with a curious look on his face.
"O-oh . . . . . . . . . Naruto do me a favor. After you tell the Hokage never repeat that ever again ok?" the Chuunin begged for the safety of the boy's mind and his sanity.
"Ok if you say so," the young seven year old said with a big smile on his face.
He sighed with relief thanking god for influence on young children. When he was about to walk away Naruto called him back.
"Hey Iruka-sensei I was wondering what is an orgasm?"
"Dear God why do you hate me?"
And he defiantly positively SWORE that Sasuke was choking in the background. A few minutes later there was a thud and a bunch of girls crying out: 'Sasuke-kun!'
AN: So what do you think? Funny? Stupid or just didn't like it . . . . . . . . well if you didn't like this that much then please look at my story Feel My Pain and Sorrow: No Need for Pain! story it's not to bad and I'm looking for more people to read it! It's a Naruto and Tenchi Muyo! Crossover and so far people that reviewed me like the new fresh idea so hope you check it out! Please review!!! Love them!!
